Her, too

Chapter Twenty

November 21, 2014

"How do I look?" Bey asked Shawn as she looked into the mirror. It was her third time changing. Today was the day of the pre Thanksgiving dinner at the West's home, and she was a nervous wreck. She didn't know why, but she was. Shawn was sitting there calm and collective while putting his tie on.

"I don't like it," he answered casually. He had bought Bey a dress that complimented his suit, but once she saw the price tag, she refused to wear it. He didn't see why he couldn't occasionally buy her nice things.

"Are you saying that cause I won't wear your dress?" She asked him.

"Yes," he truthfully answered before picking it up. It was a Versace mesh sleeved black dress. Bey shook her head.

"It's too tight, babe."

"Are you on that again?"

"On what?!"

"Your weight!"

Bey groaned. "You're going to sit and tell me I haven't gained weight?"

"I never said you haven't, but you act like you're fat," he dismissed her. It was nothing but her random snackings catching up with her. All she had to do was hit the gym. Truthfully, she didn't have to. She was gaining weight in all the right places. Her stomach wasn't growing, but her hips were spreading, her thighs were getting thicker, but that was about it.

"Ugh!" She groaned before walking back into the closet. Shawn could only shake his head when she arrived back inside the bedroom with a knee length red dress. She changed from her current one to that one quickly. Shawn watched her attentively as she went over the same routine. She had to smooth down the dress first, then run her fingers through her hair, and finally she had to turn around in the mirror to make sure that her back view was as good as her front.

Shawn smirked amusingly as he watched her. It was almost as if she never realized that she did the same exact thing. They were finally ready to go, and he was thankful for that. They were taking his new SUV - a black 2013 Mercedes-Benz ML. Bey knew for a fact that Shawn wasn't going to stick to someone else's transportation for long, and she was more than right about Shawn.

The ride there was filled slow jams that Bey mentally sang to. Her stomach was filled with butterflies, but she didn't want Shawn to know. She didn't want him to deem her foolish for her reasons. How was she supposed to sit at a dinner table with his ex wife? The same women that tried to whoop her ass because she was sleeping with her man? When they were nearing Kim's house, Bey wanted to scream, but Shawn simply grabbed ahold of her left hand and stroked it gently and affectionately. It was as if he could read her mind.

"It'll be fine," he told her soothingly.

Bey nodded as they pulled into the driveway. They automatically knew that they weren't the first people to arrive, which was fine with them. Shawn held Bey's hand as they made it to the front door and rang the doorbell. Patiently waiting, their eyes crept to one another's.

Kim pulled her door open with a huge smile. "Hey you two! So glad y'all could make it!"

She embraced them both into a hug separately before telling them where everyone else was. Bey could hear chatter, but two voices stood out to her the most - her sister's and Christina's. They were loud, but clearly having a good time. Shawn and Bey made their presence known as they strolled into the living room.

"Sissy!" Solange said happily as she walked over and hugged her sister.

"Damn, has Mama been your personal chef?" Solange asked while looking at her sister's figure. Bey rolled her eyes.

"No," she sneered.

"I take it that isn't your first time..."

"Certainly won't be my last," Bey spat. She didn't like the attention her new figure was garnering. She knew that immediate gym training would be needed. She wasn't fat, but this wasn't her normal shape. Who told her hips to spread like this?

Christina's silence was profound as she watched everyone greet her from a far. Bey didn't seem to be in the best mood, or maybe she was usually like this.

"You want anything to drink?" Kim asked.

"Nothing Solange is having. I think she's drunk," Bey said honestly.

Kim laughed. "Don't worry, we've already taken her car keys."

"Seriously?"

"Yes! We take care of our guests, ma'am," she said while coaxing Bey to follow her to the kitchen.

"How are you?" Kim asked her softly.

"Fat," Bey told her honestly.

Kim rolled her eyes. "Do you see these rolls?" Kim said while directing her to the extra meat that she was trying to cover up in the pencil skirt, but it failed.

"But you don't work out!" Bey protested.

"And neither do you!"

"So?"

"We'll go together."

Bey giggled as she watched Kim go into her secret stash. She had already told Bey that at parties she usually only served champagne and mixed drinks. Bey had been the only guest that had ever requested wine. She grabbed a wine glass and filled Bey's glass with the white wine.

"Thank you, madam. Your kitchen smells delicious."

"You're welcome, and it does, doesn't it?" Kim boasted before pouring herself a cup of the margarita mix. The girls went back to join the party. They were arguing about the best things to serve at a Thanksgiving party.

"What do you cook for Thanksgiving, Bey?" Solange asked, causing everyone to look at her.

Bey frowned. "I've never cooked for Thanksgiving."

"Are you serious?" Christina asked.

Bey looked at her briefly. "Yes."

"Why not?" Kim quizzed.

"My mother usually did."

"But you were married," Christina stated.

"I was. Thanksgiving dinner was never at my house."

"Can you even cook?" Christina asked.

"Yes," Kim answered quickly. Shawn had somehow gotten Bey to sit in his lap. His chin rested on her shoulder. He didn't see the point in intervening right now. Christina wasn't being malicious, and Bey was a big girl. He could remember every single verbal lashing she had given him, so she was capable of using her words to let someone know when they were out of place.

Christina nodded slowly before Kim said that dinner would start. Bey sat in the middle of Solange and Shawn, while Kim sat in the middle of Christina and Kanye.

"So, where's Ashlyn?" Kim asked as everyone passed plates around the table.

"With my mom," Shawn answered.

"How has she been?" Kanye asked.

"Since the accident?" Christina asked.

Kanye nodded. "She's been fine. It was Shawn that I was worried about," Christina said.

Bey's eyes remained glued to the food in front of her before Solange nudged her. Bey leaned down, allowing her sister to whisper in her ear.

"You ok?" Solange asked.

Bey nodded, not saying anything. She went back to eating as she listened to their conversation, not having anything to add to there conversations. She didn't feel right being right in this environment.

"Awee," Kim whined.

"What?" Kanye asked her.

"No one's eating my family's secret recipe!"

Christina and Shawn burst into laughter as if there had been a joke in that. Bey frowned at that.

"What is it?" Solange asked.

"You have to eat it," Kim told her.

"I'm not eating anything I don't know," Solange told her honestly, collecting laughter from others.

"I'll try it," Bey said as she picked up the casserole dish. She could see Shawn shaking his head in the corner of her eye. All Bey could do was pray. Maybe she should accept everyone's warnings and stop being Kim fucks up her stomach, but she couldn't. She didn't want Kim to feel bad. Tasting the casserole, it wasn't that bad.

"Is it good?" Kim asked cheerfully.

"It tastes like a chicken casserole," Bey explained with a shrug to her shoulders.

The dinner went smoothly, but Bey wanted to leave after a while. She didn't like the awkwardness, so she needed to get back to her comfort zone. She stood by the door while Christina and Shawn bickered about who was going to pick up Ashlyn tomorrow. Bey couldn't help but roll her eyes. She traveled outside without him and waited for him to come out.

"Is she mad?" Christina asked Shawn abruptly.

Shawn shook his head. "I doubt it. More like a bit irritated."

"Because of me? I didn't do anything."

"Shut up, no one said you did. I'll pick her up tomorrow."

She nodded her head. "Hope everything goes good, Shawn."

"Thanks, and uh, I've already told Kim you're staying here."

"Why?!" She practically yelled.

"You're drunk, Christina. Have a good night," he said before leaving her standing there. Shawn unlocked the door and watched as Bey immediately hopped inside. He got into the driver's seat and looked at her for a moment.

"What's wrong?"

"I just wanna go home."

"Your house or mine?" He asked softly as he started the vehicle.

"Doesn't matter," Bey answered lowly. Shawn would be a fool to not notice her mood change. He was worried, but he didn't know exactly why. She had told him that she really didn't want to go to the dinner, and possibly only went to make Kim and Shawn happy. The last thing they wanted was for her to be out of her element. She could've turned it down without a problem. Decisions were always respected.

He pulled into his garage and got out. Unlocking the door, he allowed her to go first. He watched as Bey turned the alarm off, and immediately went to his bedroom. It was as if she lived here. He locked up and turned the alarm back on before going into the bedroom to see that she was already changing into his clothes.

"Are you gonna talk about it?" He asked her.

Bey sighed. "Shawn, I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm fine," she said through a yawn before climbing in the bed. "When is that principal's convention trip thingie?"

"Shit!" He cursed. "I forgot all about that."

Bey giggled.

"How do you even know about that?"

She shrugged. "I've been sleeping with a principal for how long? Every December."

Shawn nodded. "I'll pull it up tomorrow," he told her as he removed his clothes. Bey watched him.

He climbed into the bed after turning the lights off. "You gone miss me?"

"How long will you be gone?" Bey asked.

"A week."

"Nah," she said, causing him to laugh.

"Really? I would miss you."

"You wouldn't have a choice, my sir."

"Sir? Don't say that. I read 50 Shades."

Bey laughed heartedly. "That would never happen!"

"You don't think you could be submissive?"

"Shawn? My mouth? Nah. You'd be punishing me everyday."

"I wouldn't have a problem with that."

"But I would. I do know how to fight."

"You'd fight your Sir?"

"If Sir touched me in a way I didn't like? Hell yeah. Whoop Sir's ass like a man, too."

Shawn laughed before pulling her into him. Her front was to his front. Bey's finger traced his face. "Sorry for ruining your night."

"Who told you that you did?"

"You didn't have to say it."

"Because it's not true. I understand, Bey. I just wished you would've told me that you really didn't want to go."

"I just..."

"You being in situations that make you uncomfortable don't make me happy. You being you makes me happy. Remember that."

She nodded before kissing his lips softly. "Good night."

"Night, baby."