Chapter 11

Ella's POV:

Declan still has his arms encased around me in a tight warm hug, my head is still resting on his chest. His warm embrace was soft but strong at the same time. Right now, I don't care that he's all sweaty. Being in his arms makes everything else fall away. All that worry and stress vanished. Now, it's just us.

Until a voice calls my name.

"Ella?" I hear, knowing right away, it's Thomas. "What are you doing?" His voice is laced with confusion.

My arms slowly untangle from around Declan. It takes me a second, because he is refusing to let go, but finally gives in when I send him a pleading look. We both turn to see Thomas standing ten feet away, staring at us. Olivia is still here, a couple of feet away watching too, with an expression I can't read.

Hues of red paint my cheeks, as heat bubbles to the surface. I hate being the center of attention, and everybody's eyes are on me. Well Declan and me, but still.

It's too much.

"I-I was umm saying g-good game." I stutter, looking like a complete fool. Now I feel the need to explain myself. "I was l-looking for you to tell you 'good game', but I couldn't find you."

I see a flash of confusion, and then what I think is anger swirl through Thomas's eyes. He warned me about Declan, and now here I am, hugging him.

"It doesn't look like you were looking for me," Thomas says with clear irritation.

I could feel he wasn't mad at me though, he was mad at Declan. Since Declan got in that fight, he saw him as a threat. Now that he sees me hugging him, he's concerned for me. Either way, his irritation was making me very anxious. He knows how I get, and with him mad at me, in front of all these people, was causing my nerves to surface quite quickly.

As I stand here and think about how to defend myself, my hands begin their panicky tremble. This was not a good sign. I start to rub my hands along my clothing to hide the fidget.

"I w-was, but then I remembered you were in the l-locker room and d-de-decided to tell you later." My voice quivers like a complete idiot. This is what happens when I'm put on the spot. I can't think clearly, and my words become a jumbled mess.

The speed of my heart begins to accelerate at a fast rate. I can feel the stares cutting into me. Thomas is saying something, but I can't comprehend it, no matter how hard I try to focus on him. The thump of my heartbeat is louder than his voice. His mouth is moving, but the words are lost.

My body is here, but my conscience is falling away. The tremble in my hands turns to a convulsing in my body. The blood in my veins is the sound of a rushing waterfall. I try to stay here, but it becomes harder as my lungs begin to lose their air.

"Shh, I'm here, it's going to be alright." Comes crashing through the brick wall that's dividing us.

My vision falls darker as the seconds' race by. The control I had was ripped away. Step by step, each of my five senses began to fail.

"What's happening? Is she going to be alright?" Another crash...

"This is all my fault." The last crash before complete silence.

Touch, something is touching me. Sound, someone is talking to me.

The words they are trying to get through to me is like an impolite hum. My body is physically there, but mentally, I am not. I feel like nothing, I am nothing. The world is gone, and so am I.

Blackness I breathe, blackness I see. What is happening to me? I'm stuck in my head with nothing but me.

*

The blackness is back, I'm trapped inside of me. Touch is back, a heaviness holding me down under, like cement permanently holding me in place. Memory, my memory is gone. Why can't I remember anything?

The sound of my self-conscience echoes within the barriers of the darkness. Am I alive? Is this what it's like to be dead?

Then something else, a sound. Not my self-conscience, but noise from outside the wall, from outside the darkness. It's repetitive, the more I hear it, the louder it gets. It's buzzing, no, beeping, maybe it's both. A machine? It sounds like a machine.

Where am I?

A squeak, many squeaks. It sounds like wet shoes, padding across the floor. There must be people out there, beyond the wall.

Shadows come in, then wash back out. Black, and then grey. After some time, a consistent light begins to stay. Something on me moves, I can feel it. My eyelids are finally starting to work. My concentration is set on the light. I want to see it all.

I try to work my eyes open, just a little bit. But they seem to be stuck, so I wait a couple of minutes and try again. This time as I try, a blink happens before snapping back shut. Again, a couple more blinks then shut. Until this time...I can handle the brightness that seems so blinding.

As my eyes adjust, my two senses begin to correspond with each other. The sound is back. My head begins to turn with a slight ache as I search for the noise. A heart monitor stands beside me, with bold red squiggles moving. That's the beep I was hearing.

Realization hits me like a hurricane. I don't have a heart monitor in my bedroom. My eyes scan the unfamiliar area as the feeling of the rest of my body comes back. This is a hospital. Why am I in a hospital?

I push myself up, and when I do, there's a pain in my hand. Looking down, I see I'm hooked up to an Iv, with a bunch of other cords that are used to keep track of vitals.

I scan the room for more answers. The chair in the corner is empty. The whole room is empty, except for me. The white is suffocating. Why am I here? What happened to me? Where is everyone else?

Muffled voices sound outside, loud voices, like arguing. Panic sets inside me. What is going on? The next thing I know, the heart monitors beeps become louder, the feeling of my heart begins to pulsate through my body.

The door swings open and in comes a doctor muttering, "Stay there." He wasn't saying it to me, he was saying it to the person outside the door. The doctor rushes over to me.

"You're okay, just breathe." The doctor says, motioning with his hands to calm down.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, then another. Thankfully, the heart monitor lowers back to normal as the pulsating stops.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, checking my vitals and looking me over.

"Tired and worn out." My voice comes out raspy, due to my throat being dry and scratchy. I cringe as the aftereffect of talking kind of hurts.

On the table next to me, the doctor pours a glass of water and hands it to me, "Here, drink this. It will help with your throat."

As I nod my head and take the cup, the door bursts open. My head snaps up, almost spilling the water, but thankfully, only a drop comes out. First, I see the uncombed chocolate hair, then the handsome face. It's Declan running in, his face frantic.

He looks around until he finds me, his face morphs from frantic to relief.

"Hey." the doctor yells. Declan ignores him, rushing towards me.

A tired smile takes over my chapped lips. "H-hey." I croak.

"Ellie," he says. "You...you're awake." He comes right over to me, scanning me up and down, as if I might disappear.

The doctor stands there, unimpressed. He must realize Declan's not leaving when he says, "Ella, you need rest, your body has been through a lot in these past hours." He then looks to Declan with stern eyes, "You let this girl rest, young man. She needs to recover."

Declan glares at him, but the doctor ignores it and turns around, striding out of the room. Now we are alone, just Declan and me.

Declan sits down on the edge of the bed. He then reaches, overtaking my hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I was so worried." he murmurs, as something flashes in his eye.

He was worried about me? The thought causes my heart to skip a beat.

"I'm fine," I whisper, but he doesn't say anything. He just looks away.

"What happened?" I ask. I can't remember anything, and by the look on his face, it isn't good.

His head snaps back to me. "You don't remember?" He asks. I shake my head, telling him no. "You had a panic attack."

I cringe. He saw it? I didn't want him to know, I didn't want anybody to know. Now he knows about my anxiety. Who else knows? I look down in shame.

I remember now. At the end of the football game, people were staring at me. Thomas was asking me questions and he seemed mad. I felt so uncomfortable, he was asking me in front of everybody. I wanted to disappear, he knows how I get. But then suddenly, my body stopped working and my wish came true.

Declan must think I'm a wreck, a freak. He wasn't supposed to find out, nobody was. Olivia didn't know either, and now she knows, everybody does. A tear falls, then another. Now everybody knows what a freak I am.

"Hey hey, don't cry. I hate seeing you upset." He says softly, squeezing my hand.

"I-I understand if you think I'm a f-fr-freak," I muttered, looking down at my lap. This is absolutely awful.

Declan lets go of my hand, pulling his away like he's been shocked. But he quickly recovers, lifting his hand to my chin. He tilts my chin up gently so we are making eye contact.

"Ella, you are not a freak. I don't want to ever hear you say that again." His eyes not breaking contact, "Do you understand?" He says. His voice is as serious as I've ever heard.

I nod my head, an unsaid yes. His thumbs touch my skin, rubbing the tears away. After, he places his hand back into mine. My heart swells in happiness. He doesn't think I'm a freak.

The door to my room opens again. Declan and I immediately look up to see who it is. My mom and Thomas enter the room.

Declan unclasps our hands and stands up. He takes a couple of steps back and sits on the chair in the corner. He sends me a small smile, then glares at Thomas. What's that about?

"Ella, thank goodness, you're alright." My mom rushes over, sitting on my bed. She embraces me in a hug, in which I weakly return.

"Hi, mom."

"You gave me a heart attack." She says with worry laced in her voice.

"Sorry," I mutter.

"Who is this?" My mom points at the chair where Declan is currently sitting. I don't know what to say. Do I tell her he's my friend? Am I his friend?

"Declan. He's a friend," I mumble nervously.

"Oh." My mom says, looking surprised, but she quickly recovers her attention on Declan, "Thank you for taking care of my baby."

Why did my mom have to say that? My face ignites with flames and Declan smirks at me saying, "It's not a problem."

My mom smiles at him in content. Uhh, this is so embarrassing. Well, my mom is so embarrassing.

Declan stands up his attention on me, "I gotta go, Lil' one, but I'll be back later." I can tell he means it by the promising look in his eye. He comes over and squeezes my hand reassuringly, then exits, leaving me with my mom and Thomas.

Him squeezing my hand in front of my mom had my heart racing, and not in a bad way. He probably felt the need to leave since my family was here, but that's okay. I'm just glad he was here at all.

My mom eyes me, giving me a suspicious look. "Why didn't you tell me you made a new friend, and a boy at that?"

"It never came up," I muttered, trying to avoid the question. My mom just grins at me, which makes me confused.

"What?" I question.

"Nothing." She shakes her head.

She's not fooling me, she knows something. But I know she's not going to tell me, so I give up and acknowledge Thomas for the first time since he's come in. It looks like something is bothering him.

"Thomas, are you alright?" I ask concerned.

"Can we talk?" He asks, not looking me in the eye.

"Of course."

My mom stands up. "I'll take that as my cue." She kisses me on my forehead and hugs Thomas. "I have to go back to work, Ella. I wish I could stay longer, but I'll be back tomorrow."

I nod telling her "okay" and she walks out the door.

"What's up," I say to Thomas. He comes over and hugs me, which takes me by surprise, but I wrap my arms around him and hug him back. We stay like that for a minute and he pulls away.

"I'm so sorry, Ella." he mumbles apologetically.

"For what?" I ask, because I genuinely have no idea what he's talking about.

"I shouldn't have got you worked up. I should have known." Thomas's voice is full of guilt. "I know how you get when in public, how people make you nervous." He says, "But I kept pushing, and for that, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Thomas," I tell him truthfully. I don't want him to feel guilty. It's not his fault, it's my brain and my body.

"It's not, I should've just left it and asked you later. I caused your anxiety attack, and I'm so sorry."

"Thomas, really, it's okay. It's not your fault. When it comes, it just takes over and I can't control it." I say honestly. I take his hand and again say, "Trust me, it is not your fault."

He gives me a small smile, then walks over to the chair in the room and sits in it.

*

Thomas left about an hour ago. He went to go see his girlfriend.

I don't remember the last time I ate, but I'm getting hungry. The doctor came in about fifteen minutes ago and gave me a pill to keep me calm. I didn't want to take it, but he said it would help subside my anxiety. So I took it. Pills really weren't my thing. I don't like taking them because I feel like they're going to get stuck in my throat.

The door creaks open and I open my eyes. I must have fallen asleep. I was so tired earlier and must have dozed off. Declan peaks his head through and then walks in. He has a paper bag in his hand, along with a drink.

"Declan, what are you doing here?" I ask. My voice sounds so unattractive.

"I'm not letting you stay the night here alone." He mutters, putting the bag and drink he's holding on the bedside table. He opens the bag and takes everything out. It looks like chicken tenders and fries. He puts them all on one big plate and then squirts some ketchup packets on the side. After, he brings the table in front of me.

"I thought you might be hungry. That hospital food sucks." He says with a grin.

I sit up, "Starving." I mumble as a big smile takes over my lips. He's right, hospital food does suck.

Declan chuckles and takes a seat on the bed, the hospital table separating us. I take a piece of chicken, dip it into ketchup, and take a bite. It tastes so yummy and I'm so hungry, I eat the rest of it at record speed.

Declan's eating too, and dipping in the same ketchup. I notice, blushing at the thought of having his saliva in my mouth. I take a sip of the drink, which turns out to be a chocolate milkshake. My taste buds dance in glee.

I gaze up, Declan is watching me. He shakes his head, "You're too cute, Lil' one."

My face flushes ten shades darker than before. He just called me cute, again. I know it's just a simple word, but it still made my insides flutter. I stop inhaling my food for a second, to take my time to actually chew it. Declan stares at me before reaching his thumb up to my lip. He rubs off a spot of ketchup hiding in the corner. Now I'm actually burning up.

"Thank you for the food," I whisper through my embarrassment.

He smiles that heart-melting smile.

After Declan and I are done eating, he throws away the trash and takes a seat in the chair. Grabbing the remote, he turns on the Tv and flicks through the channels. I, on the other hand, am about to fall asleep. I fight to keep my eyes open, but it's a losing battle.

"Go to sleep, Ellie." He murmurs.

This time I don't hesitate to close my eyes. I feel the sheets moving, and then I feel myself being placed on a hard, comfortable chest. I curl into it and let sleep take me.

Edited by @Marilyn_McKnight!! Thank you, I appreciate you lots!!