Tiana POV

"Jared called you a bitch? When he was 7? Really?" I laugh, while Tyson laughs along with me. We've been at the restaurant for a while now and it's been really fun. Probably the most fun I've ever had.

"Yes! In front of my teachers too! God, it was so embarrassing," he says, shaking his head.

"What did you do then?" I ask, intrigued by what normal life was like.

"Well, I didn't want to seem surprised so I just acted like this was a normal thing he did. On the inside though, I was already giving him a lecture on respect," he says, a smile on his face at the thought of the memory.

"Was Jared always a little rascal? I think I'd like like to meet him," I say, taking a bite off my sandwich.

"Oh! You haven't actually met him yet, have you? I think you'd definitely like him. He's just loveable that way. Don't tell him I said that though. He'll never let it go," he says, looking fondly exasperated.

"Do you have pictures of him?" I ask, already fond of kid.

"Yeah, hold on a sec," he says, digging into his pockets and getting a phone out. He taps around on his phone before showing it to me. I take the phone out and look at the picture. It's one of Tyson and a little boy that's, maybe, 12 years old. Blonde hair and blue eyes. What really moves me though is the way he looks at Tyson in the picture. He looks at Tyson like someone would look at their father. The picture automatically brings a smile to my face.

"I think I'd like him," I say.

"Yeah, I think you would," Tyson says, pocketing his phone again. Before he could, though, a ping brings a notification to his attention. He takes the phone out again, muttering something under his breathe, before looking at it and wincing.

I frown. "What's wrong?"

"There's a party or something tonight and I don't really want to go," he replies, wincing again.

My frown deepens. "Isn't tomorrow a Monday?"

"Like these guys give a shit," he snorts, then frowns again.

"I thought you would have wanted to go."

"I don't... I don't really find what's so appealing about it. I jut go 'cause my friends are going," he replies, looking sulky. He looks oddly... cute this way.

"Are you going to this one?" I ask, curious.

He nods solemnly. "Yeah, I think I'll have to."

"Do what you want to," I say shrugging. He can make his own decisions.

"Are you going to come?" he asks, though he looks like he already knows the answer.

I laugh loudly before saying, "Absolutely not. I think you and I both know it's not my usual scene."

"What're you gonna do all night then?" he asks, looking concern. The question makes me snort.

"I've been living alone my whole life, Tyson. And I did have a life before you entered it. Believe it or not, I know how to entertain myself."

"I know, I'm just worried. Actually, it seems we'll have to leave early to the venue. We're in charge of the booze. The party starts at 7 or 8 or something and Amanda will need, like, 3 hours to get ready and we'll obviously be able to get ready by then. Right now it's 12, which means we have about 5 hours to kill," he says, already looking exhausted. For some reason, the situation was funny to me. I couldn't help the little chuckle that slipped out.

Tyson raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Is this situation funny to you?"

I let out a little laugh before saying, "Kinda, yeah."

"I can't believe I thought you were a good person," he says, shaking his head in faux disappointment.

"It's always the seemingly good ones," I say, grinning widely before taking another bite off my sandwich. Tyson just shakes his head at me.

"Hey, do you want to go to this park that's near here? It's usually abandoned but it's really pretty. We could kill time for a bit," Tyson suddenly says, making me look up at him. I have to say, the idea of a park sounds kinda fun.

I've missed parks.

"Yeah, sure. Just... can we wait till I finish my sandwich? Please?"

"You don't have to ask, you know? I thought it was pretty clear we're gonna wait until you're done," he replies, looking at me with... pity? Is that it?

"Yeah," is all I say, eating the last few bites of my sandwich in silence. I never really liked pity.

After we're done, Alyssa comes looking for us. Tyson tries to ask her for the bill, but she outright refuses to get paid for this meal. They both hug each other goodbye and I stand to the side and watch. I wonder how many years worth of love is in between them.

When they pull apart, I turned around to walk towards the exit when Alyssa pulls me into a hug too. I melt into it easily. I've never been one for physical contact, but I think a part of that is because I'm so goddamn scared of letting someone in. Hugging Alyssa doesn't seem like anything dangerous, though. It feels more like a warm hot shower on a cold day. Absolute relief.

"Thank you," I whisper into her ears. "Thank you for everything."

"The only person you need to thank is the person in the mirror, honey," she says, giving me one of those warm smiles.

I didn't really have anything to say to that, so I just return her smile when we pull apart. Her smile becomes wider and I didn't really know that was possible.

"Take care sweetheart," she says kindly.

"Yeah. You too," I say, before walking out. I really should learn how to accept good words. I lean against the car and wait for Tyson to come back.

"You ready to go?" Tyson says when he comes back a little while latter. I have a feeling he and Alyssa were taking about me, but I don't bring it up. Mostly because I don't really want to know what they were talking about.

"Yeah, lets go."

The ride to the park is quiet, but that's mostly because it was just a 10 minute drive anyway. I love looking out the window. There's so much life just waiting to be looked at out there. If only people looked.

When we reach, Tyson doesn't really say anything. Just gets out the car and closes it before gesturing for me to follow, which I do. After he locks the car, he goes over to the gate and opens it.

Inside is a park that looks small and beautiful in a melancholic sort of way. There are swings and see saws and benches other such things around, but no one's there to play with them. A bunch of neatly trimmed plants scatter the area systematically and I wonder who cares for this sweet little park in their spare time. There's even a small pond to the side.

I'm liking this place already.

Tyson doesn't say anything, which is starting to worry me. He just goes and sits on one of the swings. I follow him and sit on the swing next to him.

Finally, unable to remain silent, I say, "Do you come here often?"

"Sorta," is all Tyson says, seemingly still lost in thought. So I just let him be with his thoughts while I play around with the swing. I take a few steps back in the swing and then let go, letting myself swing back and forth. Calmness sweeps through my mind.

"I was wondering..." Tyson says, trailing off, and I still the swing before turning to look at him.

"Hm?" I enquire, looking at him confusedly.

"You said.... you said that he-" my blood turns cold. I think I know where this is going.

"-You said that he... ra-" he stopped, looking uncomfortable. The just sighs and says, "You said that he raped you?"

I stare at him for a second before looking at my feet, watching the sand dusting my toes. What's there to say? How do I respond?

"Yeah," I whisper, digging my toes deeper into the sand while my grip on the swing tightens.

"Do you... do you want to talk about it?" Tyson asks hesitantly.

"I don't know," I answer, wanting to talk about it but also not wanting to.

"You can tell me, if you want to. I won't... I won't feel weird about it," he says, looking at me encouragingly.

Maybe he won't feel weird, but I know I would. Whenever I think about it, I always feel like it didn't happen to me, but to someone else. I could never accept the fact that it was my experience. How could I? It's such a horrible word. Such a horrible thing to experience. How could I ever think it would happen to me? How could something so surreally wrong happen to me?

I tried so hard not to think about it. About all that it means. But I know it's there. It's always there in the back of my mind. Always making me just a little more scared of everything around me. I hate it. I hate it so much. I want it to stop. I need it to stop.

"I won't talk about... what he did. But... maybe about how I felt?" I say, refusing to look up. I don't want to look at his face when I say this. I don't want him to see how much this has affected me. How absolutely disgusted I am by myself because of this.

"Whatever you need. If you don't want to talk about it, then you don't have to," Tyson says kindly. I try giving a smile but my lips don't comply, so I don't try. I just take a deep breathe.

"It was... horrible. Every second. Every moment. It started pretty young, so at first I didn't know what was happening. I just... I just thoughts that's how dads show love, you know? I thought it's normal. How fucking wrong I was." I stop for a second, to collect myself. This feels so weird to do.

My face starts heating up and tears threaten pour out. My head starts to feel itchy. But I don't stop. I want to talk about it. I want to let it go.

"It makes me feel so small," I whisper. "So tiny and insignificant. I couldn't stop it. It was my own body and I couldn't stop it. The fact that it was my father only made it so much more worse. I hate not being in control of a situation after that. I needed control over my life, over myself and everything around me. That's... that's part of why I tried to off myself. I was starting to actually have a good opinion of you, while getting to know you, and I couldn't control it. I couldn't control it and I hated that. I hated that I was allowing you to get closer without my control. I didn't like that." I stop again. Tears are now streaming down my face and I'm sure there'll be a mark with how hard I'm holding the swing. But I keep going.

"And then... and then there is the absolute disgust you feel. The disgust isn't aimed at him, though. It aimed at myself. Do you know how much I hate my body? Do you know how much I want to burn it down? Sometimes I'll look at myself in the mirror without clothes and I'll feel like tearing my own flesh off. I hate every little thing about my body. Every curve and every crevice, I want them burned. I want to peel out every inch of my skin and then scrape every last bit of my flesh from my bones. I hate it for causing me so much pain. Why should I be good to it? It's never been good to me." I stop again, feeling so absolutely sick of this, of everything. I start again.

"It makes you feel so powerless. So worthless. Am I just worth my body? Is that all I am? Was it my fault? What if... what if I enjoyed? Did I? I know for a fact that I didn't... but intrusive thoughts... they'll make you feel like you wanted it. Like you enjoyed it. That it was your fault and you'll feel like such a disgusting human being when that they get to you. I hate those thoughts so much. They make me feel so weak and powerless. I can't control them either. I can't control anything about myself, and it makes me feel so weak and useless." I stop again, this is the most I've ever talked about it ever. Even to myself.

"But I never acknowledge it. I never acknowledge that it's happening to me. I keep feeling like it happened to some random person that isn't me and then I get a sudden memory of it all of a sudden  and everything just goes down hill that day. Sometimes... sometimes I can't take it. And I'll just keep punching everything around me, wanting to hurt myself because there's so much there and no way to let it out. But also... but also because sometimes I feel like my body deserves it. It caused all the pain." I stop to catch my breath again, before continuing.

"But now I know, it wasn't my body's fault. It never had anything to do with it. It was all him. Still makes me feel like shit though," I mumble, coming to and end. I knows there's a lot there that I have to acknowledge. But this is enough. This is more than enough for now.

Throughout this whole thing I never looked at Tyson once. I knew I was using him to get myself to talk and move on. But it feels good to let it out. It also makes me frustrated because what the fuck am I doing?

"Are you going to say something?" I ask quietly, not daring to look up. It's such a nervous deal, opening yourself up to people. It's so scary and torturous and yet so relieving. I can't take the silence. I want to fill it.

"I don't really know what to say," he says, his voice quiet.

"There's nothing much to say, is there?" I say, pushing my feet further into the sand. My grip on the swing loosens though. I'm glad I didn't get some half-hearted "sorry this happened to you" or something about how brave I am. There really isn't much to say.

"No, there really isn't," he says. I finally look up to see him looking at me with a carefully blank expression. I don't know if I'm unsettled or relieved.

We sit in silence for a while, just enjoying being lost in our thoughts, when Tyson slowly pries my fingers from the swing and holds it in his own. After our discussion, I'm not really all that fond of touch. I think he sees this, though, because he gives my wrist a squeeze before letting go.

The thing about touch, for me, is that after all the years of touch being so bad for me, physically and mentally, it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that it can also be good. That it can also be soft.

But,if I'm being honest, it's not that I think think it's bad. It's the fact that touch is something so intimate, so honest and so pure that it scares me. It scares me because it's something I crave so badly. I didn't know I could want something so badly. Every hug I've ever received was one I treasured.

I'm so scared of wanting something.

"Are... are you going to start living with your family soon?" I ask hesitantly.

"Not now. I'm still... I'm still... I'm not ready yet. She has years to tell me this and she didn't. I need... I need some time," he says. I'm pretty sure he knows I'm changing the subject, and I'm glad he's going along with it.

"Then where are you going to stay?" I ask.

"With Xavier, of course. I think he needs me right now. He's going through a lot and... and I want to be there for him," he says, looking worried.

"Are you worried about him?"

"Yeah. He deserves a lot more than what he got."

"He's got a lot of people to support him. He'll be fine, I know he will," I say, trying to smile.

"I know, but that doesn't mean I don't have to be there for them," he says, still looking worried. I hum in response.

We sit in silence for a while longer before Tyson asks, "When did... when did your dad... uh..."

"I don't know exactly when it started, but I'm pretty sure it's when I was six," I say, going quiet again. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. This is enough."

"Oh, sorry," he says, looking apologetic.

"It's okay," I say. "Why did you bring this up all of a sudden?"

" I don't know. I just... I thought you'd need and, if I'm being honest, I was too worried about it to not bring it up."

"Oh," I say, not really knowing what to do. We sit in silence for a while, and the silence calms my mind. I wonder why silence is both so craved and despised.

"So... twenty questions?" he asks suddenly, pulling out a chuckle from me.

"Okay."

"Okay um... you had to choose between having someone you find extremely annoying or having no one with you on an abandoned island, what would you choose?" Tyson asks randomly.

"So, what you're saying is, I have to choose whether or not I'd have you on an abandoned island," I say, teasing.

"Exact- wait. Hey! That's just low," Tyson says, laughing.

"Just telling it as I see it," I say, chuckling as well.

We spend the next couple of hours just talking to each other and it feels so mundane it's lovely. There were no deep questions, no serious topics. Just a couple of teenagers being teenagers. It's one of the loveliest days I've had.

"Alright, it's getting late and I have a party to get to. Can we leave?" Tyson asks, getting up and extending his hand.

"Yeah sure," I say, taking his hand and pulling myself up.

"Can you take care of yourself alone at home?" he asks, looking worried. "I don't have to go if you don't want me to."

I roll my eyes before saying, "Maybe trust me with myself for once, dipshit. I'll be fine. Besides, I'm tired enough that I'll probably go to sleep as soon as we reach the house."

"You still call it house?" Tyson asks with a frown.

I wince before saying, "Yeah."

"Oh," Tyson says, before suddenly looking up at me. "Are you gonna go to school tomorrow?"

I suck in a breath before saying, "Yeah."

He perks up a bit, before saying, "Yeah?"

"I just... I just think I'm ready."

Tyson smiles widely before spreading his arms and looking at me hopefully. I roll my eyes before walking into them, hugging him back as he hugs me. It's quite warm.

When we pull back, we walk towards the car. We don't really say anything and I'm quite happy with the silence. All the talking has made me quite tired and my mind seems to be working just a bit more slowly. So this is what a social meter is.

The drive back is also quiet, save for the radio being on, and it gives me a chance to think about the day. I saw my mother, met a really wonderful lady, and got to experience normal teenager-hood... thing. This day was great.

Before Tyson leaves to go to Xavier's house, he leans in and hugs me again. Even though I'm not feeling all that present mentally, I hug him back. A hug is a hug after all.

"Thank you for today," he whispers into my ear before going back into his car, waving, and then driving away. I'm pretty sure I replied.

After I get to my room, I take off my clothes and put on my pyjamas. I comb my hair before putting it in a bun and washing my face.

Before going to sleep, I try picturing my future. The image that comes up is so much better than what I would've seen a month ago. The image I see now gives me hope.

Sending a mental "thank you" to the universe, I slowly drift off to sleep.

I only hope my school life will also become better.
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Hey!! Would you look at that!! Another chapter!!!

Hope this chapter's okay? I know this chapter isn't all that good, I apologise for that.

I don't really have much to say except that this chapter is important to me.

Vote and comment!!
*Waves* Bye:)