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Hey, Hazel. It's been two weeks and you're still ignoring me. You still haven't replied to my messages. I'm worried about you and I just want to know if you're doing okay. I miss you and I don't want to spend one more day in this empty, lonely place. I miss you, Waffle... Please come home.

It's me again... You're sending me straight to voicemail and I can't help but missing you and wanting to hear your sweet voice. Please, come home. I love you.

Today is very special to me. You should pass by. It'll mean a lot to me. I want you to be there for me tonight. I want you close to me. Jack is sick. You should visit him. I want to see you, Hazel. Please stop acting like this. You're killing me slowly. Text me or call me. I'll be waiting.

"You suck, Brother..." Jack's voice interfered as a laugh melted in his tone. He was spying on me. "Lesson number one, if you want a girl to miss you. Don't ever leave voicemails or text messages. Man to man, if a woman cares about you, she'll come back to you eventually. I want you to remember that she left you. It's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself."

"Man!" I let out a deep sigh. "What do you do with a broken heart?"

What do I do with all this love? Holy Heaven, have mercy on my soul. I don't think I can hold on for another night? I need her near. I want to smell her presence on the other side of the bed. I want to cherish her warm skin underneath my cold fingers. I want to taste the flavor of her saliva in my mouth once again.

Dear Lord, grant me this last wish.

"If you want to heal your heart, Hawk. You have to make a lot of sacrifices." He paused, knowing his following sentences are not going to be enjoyable."Hazel is driving you insane. You're looking in the wrong place for her selfish love. You're going to end up hurting yourself if you keep thinking about her like this."

"I can't help it, Jack."

"Of course you can." He disagreed. "You just have to explore love somewhere else. There are a lot of fishes in the sea, Hawk. You need to learn how to let go sometimes even if you have to break your own heart by doing it."

Jack's words terrorized me, selfishly. I didn't want to forget Hazel. No. It was already too late. I fell in love with this woman. "I love her, Jack."

He gasped, annoyingly.

"What's your definition of Love, Hawk?"

"Jack Walter..." I made it personal. "Love is just a word until you find someone to give it a definition," I spoke the truth as a flame of hot tears flew upon my face. "Love..." I chuckled nervously, daydreaming about forgotten memories. "Love is when you shed a tear but still want her in your life." I was referring to Hazel. "It's-- It's when-" I stuttered as I tried to keep myself from breaking down. "It's when she ignores your texts, phone calls and you still think the world of her. It's when she asks if you still love her but you lie and say 'I'm over you.' when you're dying to make love to her on the inside."

"Hawk," He smiled. "Sometimes, you have to let go of the person you love." His confidence melted in his voice. "Love is when you love someone with all your heart but you still have the courage to let them go even if it's killing you, slowly."

Little do you know, Jack? I don't want to let her go.

"I'm not going to change my mind." I gave him my word.

"Oh, I almost forgot, little one." Jack hugged me, tightly. "Happy Birthday!"

"Today is your birthday, Hawk." He changed the subject. "Aren't you supposed to throw a party or something?"

Like I always say. I curse the day I was born.

"Thank you, brother, but I'm not in the mood for a party right now." I turned down the offer. "I want to lay in bed forever."

Jack disagreed with me. His face said it all. 

"You have to celebrate your birthday, Hawk."

"I don't have to," I said, dryly. "And I don't want to."

"Well, I have a surprise for you." Jack smiled. "Someone is here to see you."

Is it Hazel?

"Is it who I think it is?" I jumped out of the bed as I bumped into the one and only.

Hazel Brown.

My whole heart stopped.

Hazel looked different. Her hair was in a high perfect ponytail. Her blue short revealed her butt cheeks, seductively. Her white crop top drew her cleavage so well. Her makeup was on point. She didn't need it. She was beautiful with and without it. Her perfume contaminated the bedroom with a satisfying smell. 

Goddamn. I miss the hell out of her.

Even when she gets on my nerves every day. I still missed her after all.

"Hello, Hawk." Her voice emerged into my ears like fireworks. "I got you something." She placed her present on the edge of the bed as she tried to escape the guilt that was consuming her alive. "Happy Birthday..." She finally said with a broken voice.

"It looks like you two have a lot to talk about." Jack interrupted the silence between us. "I'm going to get something from the mall." He tapped my left shoulder as he whispered near my ear and gave me courage. "You got this, man." He made his way out.

He knew what I was feeling at that moment. It was a man thing. Hazel wouldn't understand what she actually did to me after going ghost for days. The pain I had to go through as a man. An empty stomach, lonely nights, scary dreams, dark memories.

All in one.

I was dying to hold her in my arms.

But, I couldn't. I just couldn't accept the fact that she left without saying goodbye to me. A stupid letter was supposed to solve it all in her own mind. Was it easy to just ignore her?

Hell no.

But I had to teach myself a lesson. To stop dealing with her unfair decisions.

"What are you doing here?" I regretted every single word. "Hazel Brown?" The sound of her name tasted so strange in my mouth. I treated her like a stranger.

"Just let me talk." She got up as she tried to get close to me. "I promise you, I had my reasons."

"Stay where you are." I forbid her feet to make another move. "Don't come any closer." I crossed my arms, my back against the wall, staring at her, speechlessly.

"I heard your voicemails." She moved a step closer. "You said today was really important. I called Jack and he told me it was your birthday." She made another step. "So I came."

"Why did you?" I swallowed my saliva as I tried my best to keep up with my acting skills. "We've been here before, Hazel. I don't want to hear your excuses anymore." I  decided to let it all out. "Yes, I called and left voicemails. Yes, I did miss you but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you walk out my life whenever you feel like giving up." I chuckled, sarcastically. "You broke me, Hazel!" I yelled, my voice was soaked with pain. "I don't even know what to tell you anymore."

"You don't understand, Hawk." She tried to reason with me. "Just let me explain."

"Explain?" I forced a laugh. "Don't you dare?" I stuttered as I squeezed my hands altogether to express how angry I was. I was trying my best to keep myself calm. "What are you saying right now? What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to listen to me," Hazel responded, confidently. "I want to talk about us."

"Us?" I walked up to her. "There's no us, Lady."

"I missed you, Hawk." Hazel was really manipulative. Deep down, I knew but, It was really hard to just push her away, knowing that I was still in love with her. "I wanted to talk to you but I had to ignore your calls because I didn't want to hurt you even more."

"Hazel?" I destroyed her personal space. "What do you want from me?" I said, softly. "Why do you---"

She looked away.

"Hawk..."

"Quit cutting me off when I talk." I grabbed her by the neck as I pushed her against the wall, slowly. "Let me finish..."

"I...want...you..." She whispered, gasping for a little bit of air. "Th-- this is-- wh-- what I want..."

I stared into her eyes as I tried my best to control my emotions.

Her lips. God damn! I want to taste them...

Her soft hair. Holy Heaven! How I want to pass my fingers through them.

Her ears. I want to whisper Baby until her underwear is dripping wet.

Her perfect skin. O' Lord. Kill me now.

"I'm not falling for this anymore." I let her go. "You need to leave my house." I let out a deep sigh. "I'm done listening to your lies. I'm done."

"Are you really done?" Her question broke me down entirely. "Are you?"

"Does it matter?" I tried to avoid the answer. "If I told I still love you, would you even care? If I told you that I would still take a bullet for you after everything you've put me through, would you stop your silly games? Even if I told you, I think about you daily from the sunrise to the Sunset, Hazel, you'll still leave me when things are tough?" I sat on the edge of the bed as I tried not to let my tears take over. 

I sip on your lies like it's my favorite drink.

You're my poison, Hazel. I'm addicted to you even if you're killing me.

"I left because I wanted to protect you from me." Hazel sighed. "I wanted to protect your heart. I felt guilty after I lost the baby and I realized that you were right. I didn't take care of myself like I was supposed to. I was careless," She paused. "I was--- I was---"

"I don't want to hear it." I interrupted. "You've said enough." I headed to the door.

"Please, listen to me." She wrapped her hands around me from behind as her broken voice screamed for my full attention. "I'm begging you." I felt her warm tears through my white T-shirt. "I know what I did was wrong but I'm asking you for forgiveness. Please forgive me..."

She really got me there.

I was seconds away from giving in.

Until.

Her phone rang.

"Who is it?" My voice was wet with jealousy. "Aren't you going to answer that?"

"It's Max, Isn't it?" I pushed her hands away from me as I tried to control my temper, selfishly.

A dude did not just call your phone, Hazel.

Tell me, I'm lying.