Dear Hawk...

By the time you read this letter, I will be forever gone. Maybe in a place where darkness takes over, where pain fishes beneath my skin and where love is undertreated by our forgotten memories. I know you're trying to protect me from the outside world but I feel like I'm hurting you slowly. I love you but I have to find my own way. I did a lot of bad things to you, I hid the truth from you. I'm the reason why we lost our baby in the first place and I keep blaming myself for it. I don't know if I'm going to be able to live with that, either. I'm the one to blame, Hawk. I'm a mess. You don't deserve someone like me. You deserve someone better.

I wish I was good enough. I wish I was perfect just like the girls in the movies but I'm not. I'm just a normal girl dealing with her flaws and her imperfections. I know you're trying to do the right thing by keeping me safe but I want you to stop looking for me. I want you to stop fighting for our love. I want you to forget me, Hawk. Please, I'm begging you, forget me... forget me, please... Please... Please... I just want everything to be over. Forgive me for writing you a letter instead of talking to you face to face. I didn't dare to say goodbye especially when the smell of your cologne is torturing my nose, desperately, in the bedroom. I love you but I'm letting go, now. You should let me go, too...

Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone. You're my weakness, and I have to distance myself for a while to find myself again. Until then, we're just strangers with memories. Two lost souls with broken promises. Take care, Hawk. I wish you the best and all the happiness in the world. Deep down, I'll always be your Waffle. Goodbye...

Love, Hazel.

****

Sorry, I can't talk right now.

Hazel sent my calls straight to voicemail.

"Hawk?" Jack examined the tears that were coming down my face, slowly. "Are you good, Bro?"The pain was crawling under my skin. "Are you seriously crying over this girl, man?"

Heartbroken.

God damn, Hazel.

My mind's blown.

"Can you blame me?" I whispered under my breath, sadly. "I love this girl, man."

"She left you, man." Jack proved his point. "There's nothing you can do about that. You have to learn how to let go sometimes. I know it's not easy but if you really care about her, the best thing you can do right now is to give her space." He tapped my shoulder multiple times as he continued with his speech. "She'll come around."

"Jack..." Tears flew down my face, continuously. "I don't know how I'm going to survive this. Hazel is gone and I don't think she's coming back this time. I said hurtful things to her, I blamed her for our child's death, I pushed her away when she needed me the most." I paused, trying to collect myself together. "It's all my fault."

"Stop it, Hawk!" Jack was devastated. He was trying to delete my negative thoughts."Brother, she's the one who made her decision. She decided to leave."

"She doesn't even want to pick up my calls, Bro," I stated. "What if she's in danger?" I stood up, rapidly as I tried to leave the room. "I have to go find her."

"Hawk!" Jack deactivated my departure. "Listen to me, you're not a baby anymore. I want you to chase your negative intentions away. Hazel is not the only woman in the universe. I'm not trying to discourage you, I love her like a sister, she's really a good person, she has a good heart but she's really toxic." He spoke the truth. "I know you love this girl, man. I know you'll kill for her but you can't let her control you like that."

"I'm trying, Jack, but she drives me crazy."

"Well, try harder." He recommended. "Look, man. I'm really tired, I'm going to try to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning. Don't do anything crazy, brother. I'm watching you." He gestured. "She needs her space. Respect that."

"Wait!" I stopped him. "Jack?"

"What's up?"

"Are you okay?" I asked, reminding him of his girlfriend's death. "I'm really sorry about Cassidy, man."

"Cassidy was a great person but life goes on..." His words were harsh but the pain in his eyes explained his sadness behind his fake image. He was really hurt. He was trying to stay strong but you can't really hide your true feelings forever. "Good night, Hawk."

He left the room.

****
I'm sorry but the person you're trying to reach is unavailable right now. Please leave your message after the tone.

Beep.

'Hazel, please answer the phone. I know you're trying to keep your distance but I really miss you and I want you to come home.'

'Hey, Hazel. I miss you. Please call me back.'

'Baby, It's me again. Please give me a call. I really need to talk to you.'

****

Where the hell are you, Hazel? Man! Where the hell are you? Are you with Max? I bet he's around.

The night tasted like sadness and pure poison. I grabbed her pillow on the other side of the bed as my nose swallowed the smell of her magical strawberry perfume. Warm tears melted on the inside, slowly.

God. I miss her.

Come back, baby.

Come ba--

"Hawk?" Jack interrupted my inescapable thoughts and entered the bedroom. "Are you still crying over this girl?" He shook his head, repeatedly as he headed in my direction. "Are you okay?" He patted my back, desperately. "You look terrible," Jack spoke the truth.

I ignored him.

"Hawk?" Jack continued with his speech. "I don't know what to tell you anymore. it's really late and I think you should rest. You need to be strong..." He paused as he let out a deep, long sigh. "For Hazel."

My voice weakened. "I miss her..."

I miss the shit out of you, Hazel.

"I get it, brother," Jack stated. "You're in love and you want Hazel to be near you right now. Trust me, I know this feeling but at the same time, you have to overcome your fears." He smacked his lips. "Hazel is your weakness... If she knows about the entire prophecy. She will kill you in the future."

"Let her," I said, vaguely.

"Are you serious right now?" Jack corrected my foolish sentence. "She just needs your blood to make you disappear." He reminded me of that stupid prophecy. "You're not taking your life seriously and it's scary."

"I really don't want to hear your speech right now?" I shook my head as I embraced Hazel's pillow against my face. "Her perfume... Jack." My nose tasted her smell. "I can still smell her perfume. Her shadow is still haunting me. I can't live without her."

"Okay, Hawk," Jack stated. "Now you're really acting like a little girl, in love." He took his phone out of her pocket and started to call a number.

His phone was on speaker.

Hazel. Hazel answered.

At first, I thought she was heartbroken. You know how girls can be sometimes after a breakup. They're depressed, lost, suicidal and shocked. Not Hazel. I was wrong about her. Her voice tasted like fresh happiness. She wasn't thinking about me. She sounded fine. It was like Hell in Heaven. She was burning her pure soul on the other side of her selfish Hazel's world. She didn't care. 

God! She just didn't care.

I tried to hold back my tears as soon as her "Hello, Jack" melted on the other line. To be real, I wanted to snatch the phone from Jack and confess my deepest thoughts to her but I just didn't want to ruin her mood. I had to do what was best for me.

For my heart. At least.

'Hello, Jack.' Hazel answered. 'What's up?'

I swear to God, I almost lost it right after her voice made an entrance on Jack's phone. My chest felt tight and my body, full of dark lights. My mind started to reveal old memories that I was trying to get away from. It was too late, I felt numb.

Numb in love.

All over again.

'Hazel?' Jack responded. 'Are you doing okay?'

'I'm okay.' She gave a dry response. 

'Good... Good.' Jack forced a laugh. 'I was wondering... Did you find a good hotel? Who picked you up?'

'I called an uber and,' Hazel paused. 'Don't worry about me. I'm fine.'

'Are you coming back?' 

Silence.

She fell silent for a moment.

'Jack? Is this an interview?'

'No, no, no.' Jack denied. 'I'm just checking up on you.'

'Well, I'm not coming back.' Her answer was honest and cold. 'Tell your brother to stop blowing me up. I don't want to talk to him. I hope he understands that I'm doing him a favor by pulling away from him.' She sighed, desperately. 'Tell him if he keeps on calling me...' Her voice weakened. 'I'll block him and change my number.'

Ouch.

Her words broke my heart, entirely.

'Yes, maim.'

'Thank you.' I could tell that Hazel was smiling on her end. 'Goodnight.'

'Wait, wait, Hazel.' Jack stopped her. 'Quick question! Why are you doing this to Hawk? He loves you and wants to be with you despite everything you've done in the past couple of months. Did you forget the bad things? How you ripped his last memory of his dear father from him? How you played with his heart and his emotions by playing your silly, immature games? How you lied so many times? You killed his baby and blamed him!'

"Enough, Jack." I tried to calm him down. "Enough." But he didn't listen and kept going.

'You were never fit to be a mother, Hazel.' Jack ignored me. 'You never loved Hawk. You just needed his money. You're just like your dead mother. You're a hypo--'

"I said ENOUGH!" I yelled at him."ENOUGH!" My Hulion eyes showed its true color. I was pissed. I snatched the phone and hung up. "What is wrong with you? Jack? Are you out of your mind? At the end of the day, she's a woman. That's not the right way to talk to a female even if she was at fault. You were raised to be better than that, a gentleman."

Jack wasn't having it. "A gentleman?" He crashed with laughter. "You're an idiot." He grabbed his phone out of my hand as he headed to the door, wearing his straight face. "We're done here, Brother. I really hope you open your eyes someday and see that this girl is not good enough for you." Tears flew down his face. "Maybe when I'm gone, you'll see how much I cared and loved you just like... mother."

"Don't bring mother into this," I responded, with a cold tone. "She never loved us."

"Oh yeah?" He smacked his lips. "So did Hazel!" He walked out as he slammed the door after him.

BLOOD.

My hand was covered with blood.

Jack's blood.

Was he bleeding? Why do I have blood in my hand?

I made my way out as I headed to his room. I found him in front of his door. He was unconscious. Blood all over his grey T-shirt. His ears were pouring blood, constantly. I held his neck against my right arm as I searched for a heartbeat.

Jack.

You can't die.

No, Not right now.

Was he dead? My ears couldn't tell.

Was he still alive? It was hard to swallow.