Doctor! Is the baby alive? Doctor!

"Doctor Pen?" I placed my hands in my pocket as I examined Hazel on the bed. Jack, by my side, supporting the situation. "Is she going to be okay?" Hazel didn't want to go to the hospital, I decided to call her doctor, at last.

No, I didn't want to but she forced me.

"I believe so, but," Doctor Pen replied, firmly. "I'm sorry to inform you that the baby is dead." Our jaws dropped as soon as the news destroyed our ears, negatively. My heart froze, my eyes melted with anger and sadness, my whole body lost its last energy. My thoughts were filled with lonely drifts, my mind was out of range.

Broken.

I was broken.

"I'm really sorry..." Jack tapped my shoulder as he tried to comfort Hazel on the other hand. "Hazel? I'm sorry for your loss." Jack tried to rescue her negative mind from sinking.

Hazel didn't care about the baby. Why sugarcoating? She hid the truth from me. She killed my baby. All this time, I thought she was taking care of herself but little did I know, she was so ignorant in her skin that she didn't even mention the blood. Why does she make things so difficult? Why didn't she just talk to me? They say communication is key. Why didn't she use it?

Selfish.

Selfishness described her actions.

"Jack?" Hazel stated. "Can you please show the doctor the way out?" Hazel's voice was desperate and cruel. "I want to talk to Hawk for a few minutes."

Jack obeyed.

There was a deep silence in the bedroom. Hazel was trying to collect the right words, patiently.

"Hawk..." Her broken voice examined my temper, menacingly. "I'm as shocked as you are...I didn't mean to---"

"Stop! Okay? Stop!" I cut her off, midsentence. Far away from hate but yet, at that moment, my feelings for her stopped me from going off. The pain crawled in my broken voice. I was hurt."You didn't mean to what? Hurt me? Hide the truth?" My voice cracked with tears. "You killed our baby, Hazel." I squeezed both of my hands as I tried to control my anger.

Putting my hands on her was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Babe?" She headed in my direction. "Babe? Please, listen to me."

"Don't babe me!" I pushed her hand away from my face. "You knew what you were doing. You're so selfish, man! How could you?"I swallowed my saliva, slowly. This heavy feeling in my chest was driving me insane. I was angry at her but treating her like that destroyed me, secretly.

"I'm sorry," Hazel replied, sadly. "I'm really sorry..."

"Am I wrong?" I questioned her behavior. "Am I wrong for being mad at you? Am I wrong, Hazel?" I stood up as I placed both of my hands in my pocket, examining her little moves on the white couch across the room. "Now? If I break up with you, I would be wrong right?" My question woke her from her thoughts. "Give me one good reason why I should keep fighting for you."

"I love you..." Those three words replayed in my head. I didn't know if that was the truth or one of her lies. "And you love me."

I do love you, Hazel.

No doubt.

So much.

With all my heart.

But?

"That's not a valid reason," I responded with so much confidence in my tone. "You keep saying you love me, but why do you keep giving me headaches? Why do you act like an immature child? Why do you enjoy hurting me? Why?" I paused, as I tried to hold my tears from falling down my face. "Can you answer these questions? Why is it so hard to be my peace?"

Why Hazel? Why?

"I was scared okay?" Her watery eyes added sadness to the situation. "I was afraid of what you were going to say to me when you find out. You were so happy and you always talk about our baby. I was scared to tell you the truth."

"Let me get that straight." I interrupted."So you decided 'Oh, let me just hide the truth from him, he's not going to find out.'" I imitated. "Sometimes, I ask myself 'Why am I still with you?'." My question perpetuated my mind with a felony of incomplete thoughts. "I love you but it's hard to be with you when you act like a child."

"You're hurting my feelings, Hawk." Her words disappointed me. "I understand what you're trying to say but I can't force you to forgive me or stay with me. I'm trying to be the best girlfriend but you're not letting me."

"Well, try harder..." I replied, firmly. "You're my girlfriend and I love you but enough is enough." I shook my head, disappointedly. "How do you want us to work out if you keep acting like this? Why do you keep things from me? What happened to honesty?" We made eye contact. "Use it! Use it for once!"

Forgive me, Hazel. My words were harsh but deep down, I blamed myself for talking to you this way. I hated myself but at the same time, I wanted you to stop with your immature games. I wanted you to be my peace, Princess.

Not my headache.

I never meant to hurt your feelings. I apologize. 

This girl drives me so crazy. When she's mad, she got me at her mercy. I can't run away from her, she's like a magnet. I have to stay near her.

She's my addiction. My only attraction.

"I'm sorry..." I squeezed my teeth as her two words broke me down, entirely. I didn't expect this type of behavior from Miss perfect. "I'm truly sorry for hiding the truth from you. You're right, I should've told you, I was wrong." Her voice was sweet and calm. "Please, forgive me..." I sat on the edge of the bed as I tried to measure the pressure under my skin. In a blink of an eye, Hazel's shadow was already covering mine.

So close to me...

I lost it. I gave in.

"Come here..." I leaned her body towards me as I wrapped her hands around my neck and gave her a hungry hug. "It's okay."

"No, it's not." She disagreed, rapidly. "I feel bad... I was a bad mother." Tears fell slowly upon her face as she tried to cover the embarrassment. "I'm a bad girlfriend."

I wish I was one of your tears, Hazel. So I could be born in your beautiful eyes, run down your sensitive cheek and die on your sexy lips.

"You're the most beautiful girl in the entire world..." I wiped her tears away, using a few of my cold fingers. "I want to worship your irresistible smile,"

"Thank you..." She whispered, sadly. "Thank you for comforting me but there's something that I need to tell you."

No! Don't start with your secrets again!

"What is it this time?" 

"I want to talk about the baby..." She started, timidly. "What really happened..."

"Talk."

"But I'm afraid that I'll leave right after our conversation." Silent tears emerged her eyes with emptiness. "The truth might break us apart and I don't think you're ready to hear about it..."

What is it, woman? Talk!

Goddamn! Talk, Hazel!

What happened to my baby?