Chapter 22

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Tell Me

"People talk about grief as emptiness, but it's not empty. It's full. Heavy. Not an absence to fill. A weight to pull. Your skin caught on hooks chained to rough shoulders made of all the years you thought you'd have." – Elan Mastai

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lexie P.O.V

"What are you doing here with those? Shouldn't you be at Whole Foods?"

I hesitantly pulled my eyes from the TV when I heard footsteps creaking.

"As much as I hate these words coming out of my mouth, I could really use your help with this."

"Where are you going?" I asked Chase as he brushed past me, heading straight towards the front door. He was dressed in his usual black sweats and dark t-shirt, his hair still slightly damp.

"Nowhere." He replied, grabbing a hoodie off the coat rack. Where the fuck was he going dressed like that? It was colder than hell outside. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."

"Why won't you tell me where you're going?" I pressed pause on the remote and stood up, hands on my hips. For someone preaching about honestly and trust, he sure kept a lot of secrets to himself.

"Because it's none of your business." Chase twisted around just in time for me to catch a glimpse of him rolling his eyes.

"Where do you disappear off to almost every Friday night?"

"Don't let Olivia stay up past 9pm tonight." He said, completely ignoring my question.

"Does this have something to do with that one time you came home with a busted lip?"

Chase froze just as he was about to pull the door closed behind him. He opened his mouth to speak before quickly closing it again. "This –" I gestured between the two of us. "Trust is a two way streak."

He didn't get a chance to say anything before the loud ringing of his phone sliced through the tension in the room. "Fuck." He muttered under his breath, glancing down at the screen.

"Look just –" Chase sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Just stay with Olivia. I'll explain everything when I get back."

I continued to eye him skeptically. Feeling my questioning gaze, Chase chuckled and shook his head. "I promise." And with that, he was out the door and I was left standing more confused than ever.

............

Years of sitting around and waiting for the right moment have left me to be a very impatient person. I hate not knowing something, and sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop drove me crazy. So when Chase said he'll explain everything when he got back, my brain went into overdrive.

What could he possibly be involved in?

The scenes on the large TV screen kept changing, but I was too into my head to pay attention to what was going on.

Who exactly is Chase Hernandez?

By the time 2 AM rolled around, I was burning holes into the ground and glancing at the clock every five minutes. 

How much fucking longer until he gets back?

I had just picked up my phone and was about to text Chase when I heard keys jiggling and the front door slowly opened.

"It's two in the fucking morning." I said, narrowing my eyes in Chase's direction as he shrugged off his hoodie.

"You're still up?" His eyes met mine and I didn't miss the surprise in his voice.

"Yes..." I blinked, resisting the urge to add some very colorful language to my reply.

"It's late."

"No shit." I scowled as Chase brushed past me and headed towards the kitchen. It wasn't until he was a few feet away that I noticed there was a slight limp in his step.

"Are you hurt?" I asked, brows furrowed.

"I'm fine."

"You're lying."

"Still a better liar than you are." He glanced over his shoulder at me, his eyes sparking with a hint of amusement.

I took a step towards him, my arms crossed over my chest. "Stop being a dumbass and let me see!"

His piercing eyes continued to burn into mine before he shook his head and lifted the left side of his shirt up. "Oh my god!" I gasped, slightly wincing at the sight. A large portion of his ribcage was red and swollen with shades of blue and purple already starting to form.

I desperately wanted to look away. The mere sight made my stomach turn and I could feel the pain even though it wasn't on my body. Not this time anyway.

Get a fucking grip, Lexie.

Pushing the nasty memories trying to surface back down, I finally managed to croak out, "You're hurt!"

"You should see the other guy." A light smile found its way onto Chase's lips and his eyes softened as they scanned my face.

"It's not funny." I pinned him with a glare, reaching for an ice pack inside the freezer. No wonder there were to many in there, I thought. Apparently Chase made it a habit of coming home injured. "Take off your shirt."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise and he flashed me his signature smirk. "Don't be a pervert." I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"Can't help it if you bring it out in me." Chase hissed in pain as I applied the cold compress to the already bruising section of his stomach.

"Shut up." My gaze narrowed in on his toned abdomen as I tried to push the tightening sensation in my stomach out of my mind. "Well –" I finally took a step back, clearing my throat. "I'm waiting."

"For what?"

"Stupid isn't a good look on you." I rolled my eyes, irritation seeping through. "You said you'd explain when you got back."

Chase cocked his head to the side, a small smile making its way onto his face. "You're telling me you suddenly didn't develop amnesia?"

"Chase." I gritted.

"Lexie." He continued to hold my gaze, hazel eyes heated with amusement.

"Stop being a dick." I drawled, tilting my head back.

"Fine." He sighed, shaking his head as he leaned back against the countertop. "What do you want to know?"

"Who'd you get into a fight with tonight?"

"I didn't get into a fight with anyone." Chase shifted his gaze to the ground.

"Chase –"

"It was a scheduled fight." He continued.

My brows furrowed together in confusion. "Scheduled fight?"

He nodded.

"What the fuck does that even mean?" I asked, staring back at him with a blank expression.

"It means," He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, eyes hardening. "That three Fridays out of the month, someone writes my name down on a piece of paper and I have to show up. Do I need to pull out the dictionary for you to look up the definition of scheduled?"

Dozens of questions raced through my mind as I tried to wrap my head around what he said, but all I could manage to ask was, "Why?"

"Contrary to popular belief, money doesn't grow on trees." Chase scoffed, a dry smile playing on his lips.

"I don't..."

"Where do you think the money to keep the gym running comes from?" He let out a sarcastic laugh.

"How the fuck am I supposed to know when you don't tell me anything!" I hissed as, trying to keep my voice low.

"Now you know." He shrugged as silence settled over us.

Why anyone voluntarily allow themselves to get beat up is beyond me.

"There's gotta be better ways – safer ways – for you to make money." I mumbled, fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

"It's perfectly safe, Lexie." Chase shook his head, eyes focused on the wall behind me.

"Have you not looked in the mirror lately?" I asked incredulously. I was beginning to think he got knocked on his head or something.

"This is nothing." He lifted the ice pack, gesturing towards the nasty bruise. "Plus, I like fighting."

"You –" My voice faltered. "You like fighting?"

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Because when I'm in that ring," His voice had gone low and his eyes locked onto mine. "I'm the one in control."

...............

Chase P.O.V

I could see the thoughts racing through Lexie's mind, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued by her reaction. I wasn't actually planning on telling her the truth about where I'd been. In fact, I spent the entire night trying to come up with a reasonable explanation that would satisfy her curiosity, only to cave in the end.

"Isn't this sort of thing illegal?" Her eyebrows creased in confusion.

"Only if you get caught." I replied.

I didn't fight because I enjoyed causing others physical pain, although if we're being honest, some people deserved a beating or two. The truth of the matter is I loved boxing because of the unpredictability and self-discipline. Not only do you have to train your body, but also your mind.

Take tonight for example. Promising to tell Lexie where I was threw me off my game. On any other night, a fighter like Jake would never have landed a hit – let alone three.

"So why not do it professionally then?" Lexie continued to probe, watching me with curiosity. "Why not make money off of it that way?"

I scoffed, shaking my head. "It's not that easy."

"Why not?"

"Because that's not a sensible environment for Olivia." While I wouldn't be winning any brother of the year awards any time soon, subjecting Olivia to that kind of lifestyle was out of the question.

Not that what I was doing right now was all that safe, but if something were to happen to me, I knew she would be taken care of. I had legal guardianship papers drawn up for Catherine right after moms funeral, and there was more than enough money tucked away in a trust to make sure she was well off.

At the end of the day, Olivia was the only person I cared about.

Only person you used to care about, my subconscious corrected but I chose to ignore that voice in my head.

"But this is?" Lexie gaped at me. "What happens if you get seriously hurt one night? What then?"

It's something I'd asked myself plenty of times. But until now, that's never happened.

"It's why I make sure I always win." Pushing myself off the counter, I grabbed a new icepack from the freezer to replace the already melting one and slipped past her on the way to my room. "Goodnight, Lexie."

"Who said we were done?" Lexie's voice rang behind me with a flat tone of annoyance.

I didn't bother to turn around, let alone rely. It was a shitty move after all the trust she'd placed in me, but I couldn't bring myself to open up to her completely. People that got too close, always had a tendency to leave.

I couldn't handle losing someone I cared about again. I wouldn't allow myself to be placed in a situation where I was vulnerable again.

_______________________________________________________________________

Chase's got his own secrets. Will he trust Lexie enough to let her in? Stay tuned to find out!

Fun fact, switching to Chase's P.O.V in the last couple of chapters was not part of the original plot, however, I've found it was easier to portray his character by letting you all see a glimpse into his mind. Thoughts on Chase's P.O.V?


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