there is no other love, it's only yours- you're all i want, all i love

author's note: there's only maybe one or two chapters left in this thing! get excited. we're gonna get a soft (ish) epilogue, yall. we deserve one.

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Getting home went smoothly- Jonny's friend asked no questions and drove fast. You were home just before the sun started to rise again.

Jonny nodded to you as he left the elevator inside, and you returned the gesture. You didn't go with him- you didn't know what possessed you to follow Joker up to the penthouse, but you took that instinct and ran with it. And Joker wasn't telling you to fuck off, so you figured you'd just keep going until he did.

But he had no complaints, not even as you slipped into one of the bathrooms to shower. Once you finished there, wrapping yourself in a towel because you didn't have any extra clothes, you peered at yourself in the mirror.

You'd always known that Joker had changed you. There was a time where you couldn't live with him in your life, but you certainly couldn't make it by yourself, either. You'd killed for him, innocents and criminals alike. So why were you nervous to leave the bathroom?

Self-consciousness, sure. But it was also something else.

You wished you could still just block out what had happened before Harley's disappearance- Monsta T and the things Joker had insinuated about you to him.

You weren't too angry about it anymore- time had put it into perspective, and besides, you knew Joker better now. He'd been jealous. He hadn't been right, obviously, but he had absolutely been jealous.

Even so, you did still want Joker to talk about why he had started treating you like shit for no reason.

For your part, the problem wasn't even too much about Harley anymore, although that had still hurt. It was that you'd known that you had something with him, but he would never admit to it. He didn't put a label on it. That used to be alright with you- but then Harley'd come along, and he gave her a label. Hadn't you done more for him than she did?

You left the bathroom. Joker wasn't in the bedroom, so you raided some of the drawers for a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Better to ask him about it now, before you lost your nerve. Luckily, Joker was in the living room, and almost his usual manically energetic self. You could see the tiredness in his eyes, but you pressed on anyway. It would be over then, and you could sleep afterwards. It wasn't as if Joker was any stranger to sleep deprivation- you'd never even seen him asleep.

"Sir," you said, "I need to talk to you."

Joker had his back to you, but now he turned and faced you. "Well," he purred, "talk to me, then, Y/N."

"It's about that meeting with Monsta T that you had right before Harley disappeared."

"Oh, yes," he said, far too flippant about it. "Did you have a good time that night, Y/N? Did he treat you right?" His tone was almost the same as it had been that night, just this side of mocking.

You gritted your teeth and reminded yourself that he wouldn't be lashing out if it hadn't bothered him. You tried to stay calm.

"I want to know what you were thinking that night when you decided to lie to everyone about what happened. Because last I checked, I wasn't the one sitting in people's laps."

Joker laughed, high and loud. "It didn't stop you, did it?"

"Stop me from what," you said, this close to snapping.

He got up, slowly making his way over to you. "From going home with him," he said. His voice was turning dangerous, but you stood your ground. "Unless you want to lie to me and say you didn't."

"No, I did," you said. "But that's not an answer. Why'd you do it?"

The Joker's face was inscrutable. "Who do you belong to?" he asked, like that was acceptable and on-topic.

You sighed and scrubbed your hand over your face. "You, obviously."

"Not him."

"No."

He fell silent, watching and waiting for you to get the hint. When you did, you gaped at him.

"You can't just get pissed because somebody's interested in me!" you exclaimed.

"Wrong, dollface," Joker said, "I can. I did."

"Well, don't get pissed at me. The whole reason I went home with him is because I was angry at you. I wasn't even thinking about it until you said something."

Joker grumbled something under his breath. You didn't care enough to try and decipher it.

"Anyway, you still haven't answered my question. Why? Frost works for you too, and I don't see you policing who he sleeps with."

"It's not the same," he said.

You knew good and well that it wasn't the same, but you wanted him to tell you why. "How?"'

"I can guarantee you I don't think about him in the same way," Joker said with a leer, taking another step closer. If he reached out now, he'd be able to touch you.

You sighed. "I'm gonna need more information."

"I kissed you at Arkham," he said after a long moment.

"Yes."

"I'd wanted to do that for a long time."

"What about Harley?" you asked when you finally found your voice. It was one thing to know it for yourself- it was quite another to hear it directly from him.

"Harley was fun to play with," he waved a hand dismissively. "But she got boring. And fucking irritating on top of that, which I'd hoped she wouldn't be. Why would you think I liked her better?"

"You were sleeping with her," you pointed out. "What was I supposed to think?"

"'Never turn down free sex' was the lesson I took from that," Joker shrugged.

You stared at him for a second, biting back the urge to tell him that his "lessons" weren't universally accepted. He definitely didn't care. "That's really unsafe, sir," you settled on.

"And that's why I keep you around," he said proudly. Then, after a moment, "Among other things."

"Because you want to kiss me and for me to not sleep with other people?"

He smirked. "Yes. And you're okay with that." It wasn't a question.

You smiled. "Yeah, I am. Come to bed, J. It's late."

"Lead the way."

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y'all most of this has been written since june, so if u recognize this chapter, that's why. but it finally fits in with the plot and resolves some issues from earlier in the book that haven't been addressed until now (thank the plot for that). hope u enjoyed <3