you make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs, it hurts but i won't fight you

—-

Jonny's guy was named Griggs, and for all his attitude, he did not look like the important man he supposedly was. He had a scrappy little goatee and was kind of scrawny for a man his height, but you knew better than to underestimate someone by their appearance by now. You watched as one of J's other henchmen tasered him in the neck and hauled him off.

"And now we wait," Jonny whispered to you, sliding on his aviator sunglasses. You grinned at him- he loved those glasses, and you loved teasing him about them.

"You look like a sleaze with those on," you said back with a grin.

Joker interrupted whatever Jonny was about to respond with, saying, "Jonny Jonny, get in there. I don't have all night." He sounded slightly snappish. You glanced over at him, quietly concerned, noting Jonny's departure only as an afterthought.

"You got a plan, J?" You asked, hoping to take his mind off of whatever was annoying him.

His wicked smile made a quick return. "Always."

"Gonna tell me what it is?"

"No."

"Of course," you muttered, and Joker laughed, leaning in and pressing a kiss to your cheek. He patted you on the back once, gently pushing you to follow Jonny into the back room. You did as he suggested, too dazed to do much else.

Griggs was still acting like a hotshot as you took your place beside Jonny, waiting for the Joker to make his grand entrance. Jonny passed a block of cash wrapped in clear plastic to one of Griggs' guys. Griggs didn't miss this, quickly locking onto Jonny and trying to play nice.

"Yo, slick, what's up?" he tried. "Griggs. You are?"

Jonny turned to him, not even bothering to take his sunglasses off. "You might wanna keep your mouth shut."

Griggs frowned incredulously. "Can I go, man? What the hell's going on? This is crazy."

You weren't even looking at him. Instead you watched as Joker entered the room, quiet and unseen by Griggs.

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," Joker grabbed Griggs' shoulder and squeezed it roughly. "All that chit-chat's gonna get you hurt." He slapped Griggs' shoulders hard, making him jerk with surprise.

"Oh my God."

Joker slowly walked around him and crouched down to his eye level, letting out that menacing, almost animalistic growl of his. You knew what was coming, and the Joker didn't disappoint. He stretched out his hand imperiously to Griggs, the one with the gaudy "J" ring. Griggs knew it too, and, after a split-second of hesitation, leaned forward and kissed the ring.

Joker dropped his hand, let the moment stretch. Then, quick as a flash, he straddled Griggs' lap with a maniacal grin, one hand on the side of his neck and the other on his thigh.

"I could tell you really meant that," he purred, reached up to cup the junction of Griggs' face and neck, and laughed out loud. Then his expression went serious, his hands sliding down to Griggs' neck. "You gonna be my friend?"

The answer was yes. Griggs spilled everything after that, eyes wide and wild with the threat of Joker's wrath. He told you everything- how to get into Belle Reve, what the security was like, even the specific cell Harley was in.

It was late at night when you finally got out of there, leaving a terrified Griggs in your wake. You felt dead on your feet, but you didn't want to take more chances with Joker's driving tonight, so you were the one driving back to the penthouse.

Joker was quiet the whole way back, but you knew the look in his pale blue eyes well enough to know that he was planning something. Instead of disturbing him, you decided to wait him out. He'd talk when he was ready.

Sure enough, barely ten minutes later, he straightened up in his seat and glanced over at you.

"Y/N," he said, "You're doing this." It wasn't a question, but it felt like one. You weren't sure how to respond, or what "this" was supposed to mean (aside from maybe busting Harley out of Belle Reve), so you went with the safest option you could think of.

"'Course I am," you said.

"You don't like Harley much. Wouldn't it be so much easier to just let Jonny Jonny do the work, so maybe you'd get a few more months to yourself?"

You gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. "Is this you asking me to do that, boss?"

He threw his head back and laughed loudly. "No. No, I need you up here with me. You don't cause me trouble." Joker reached over and tangled his fingers in the hair at the nape of your neck, gently twisting the strands.

"She's crazy," he muttered after a second.

"Hell yes," you said, nodding emphatically, and the Joker laughed again.

"We're gonna get her out of there, and then that'll be it," he said, lowering his voice. He gave your hair a tiny yank for emphasis. "She's on her own."

—-

this chapter. this- this chapter. it's my own fault that i can't figure out how to end this love triangle- i set it up in the first place. but man it's annoying. so we're being basic. birds of prey canon who?? (might end up giving harley an offscreen arc with poison ivy bc i've always liked them together. opposites attract, you know? kinda like reader and joker in this fic. i do love my parallels.)

last thing, here's the spotify playlist (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5AEfauSAZm2RkGWk5VZh0U?si=iuc_M93US6muZjzhVYtMPQ) (in the comments too, just in case).

if there's a song on there that isn't a chapter song and you wanna know why it's there, ask about it! anyway hope y'all enjoy it <3