baby, seasons change but people don't, and i'll always be waiting in the back room

author's note: welcome to where canon finally gets more involved! also there's. there's some violence/mild torture in here, so be warned. if you want to skip, it starts at "You shrugged" and ends at "How noble of you". also. READ THE END NOTES. please and thank you :)

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The universe must have been working against you, because two nights later, Joker and Harley ran into Batman.

Joker had apparently driven one of his cars into the bay, but the one big issue with this was that he turned up afterwards without Harley. Which meant Batman had gotten his hands on her.

Really, it was Joker's fault- Harley couldn't swim to save her life, and he could. If he could save himself, he could have saved her too. But you guessed that he thought she'd just be taken to Arkham, and when she wasn't, lost it completely.

He was a wreck. You and Jonny ended up having to take care of most of the business for him. This was because when he wasn't throwing things, ruthlessly killing people, or demanding information you didn't have on Harley's whereabouts, he was stuck in this almost catatonic state. And for as much as you had wanted Harley out of the picture, if it did this to Joker, you weren't sure that you wanted that at all.

But the leads you had to work with were practically nonexistent. Something or someone much bigger than just Gotham City's shit mental health system was behind this, and nobody who knew anything wanted to rat them out. Luckily, you had money and men on your side. You'd take the information by force if you had to.

And you did end up having to.

You and Jonny were dealing with two cops who'd overheard where Harley was going to be sent. They'd signed some sort of NDA though, so their mouths were staying firmly shut.

"Okay, boys," you said, clapping them both on the shoulder, hard. One jumped, the other remained stock still. He was going to be the hard one.

Jonny had gotten them here to one of Joker's currently unused warehouses, but it was up to you to extract the information. Jonny was there in case you needed a "good cop", but otherwise it was entirely up to you.

"You're honorable men of the law," you said to the two cops, "So you know that there's only two ways this could go. Tell us what we need to know, and go home to your wives unscathed. Or keep quiet, and I start cutting things off until you talk. And even then, you might not make it home. But I'll start easy."

You walked between their chairs and crouched so you were at their eye level. "Where is Harley Quinn?"

"I'm not telling you nothin'," the younger cop declared.

You shrugged. "Fine. Jonny, hand me that butcher knife, would you?"

Jonny passed it to you, then wrenched the man's hand free from its bindings. "Hold still," he said, grinning.

In a flash, while the cop struggled and flailed, you brought the knife down on his littlest finger. Blood gushed from his hand and he screamed, high and ragged like a terrified animal.

"Where is she?" You demanded.

"Alright, alright, stop it," the older cop snapped. "I'll tell you what we know if you stop fuckin' chopping off his fingers!"

"How noble of you," you sneered. You made a sweeping gesture with the knife (the younger cop flinched back at this, and Jonny laughed at him). "Do tell."

"I couldn't hear much, but I know it's not a state thing. This is federal," the older cop said. "They took her out of the city, someplace down in Louisiana."

You exchanged confused glances with Jonny. "What the fuck's in Louisiana?" Jonny just shrugged.

"I don't know," the cop said hurriedly when you looked over at him. "Some kind of prison? I'm telling you, I don't know."

You held his gaze for another long moment. "I believe you," you said finally, "So I'm going to make this quick." You pulled out your gun and fired two headshots, one for each of them.

Jonny whistled. "Nice one."

"Thanks," you said, setting down the knife and putting the gun back in your waistband. "So, looks like we're gonna be researching federal prisons in Louisiana."

"Yeah," he said. "Let's beat it, huh?" When you pointedly looked back at the bodies, he waved a dismissive hand. "Leave 'em. It'll send a nice message."

"Sure," you agreed. Hopefully it wouldn't take too long to find the particular place where Harley was being kept, and you'd break her out and be done with this. You wanted J back to normal as quickly as possible.

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so... i'm back! if you didn't get to see the "announcement" chapter before i took it down, here's the situation: i've decided that i'm gonna rework some of this fic! just the last five or so chapters. not much will change plot-wise, (and you'll see what does change) it's just to make canon easier to work with for the last story arc. hopefully y'all don't mind. it shouldn't take too long, so we should be back in business soon enough.

i also want to real quickly thank you guys for sticking around through my writers block. hopefully this last stretch will be smoother. love y'all <3