this is the last thing i would ever have done to ya, this the last thing that i thought you'd do to me

—-

You never finished your argument with Harley, because the paramedics told you you could ride to the hospital in the ambulance with Jonny. You met the rest of the guys there, and camped out in Jonny's room once the surgery was over.

"You alright, Y/N?" Sharkey asked. He'd gone to raid the hospital's vending machine, and pressed a bag of potato chips into your hands.

"Yeah, you don't look so good," Fox said. You'd have thought of some witty comeback, but you were tired down to your bones and you just wanted Jonny to wake up.

"I don't feel so good either," you said, not looking at either of them.

"He'll be alright," Panda reassured you, "He's just gotta wake up from the anesthesia. The doctor said it wouldn't take too long."

"That's not what I'm worried about," you said. "I know he'll wake up. I just wish this didn't happen."

"Don't we all," Sharkey said.

"I don't get it," Panda said, suddenly sitting up in his chair. "I know you only really get better at planning ops with experience, but did Quinn really have to take all of our best people out for her first run? And now look where we are. Frost's down, L/N's depressed, and the two of you-" he gestured at Sharkey and Fox, "Are no help, as always. What the fuck was the boss thinking?"

Sharkey smirked, and Fox casually gave Panda the finger, trying to keep the mood light. When Panda was stressed, he could get nasty, and that was the last thing anyone needed.

"I don't know," you said unhelpfully.

Panda huffed. "I'm telling you, she's changed him. He would never have let any of us get away with that."

"Well, none of us are Harley Quinn," Sharkey countered. "She's just as crazy as he is. Maybe crazier."

"Definitely crazier," Fox said, making some wild gesture with his Twix bar.

The room lapsed into silence, which you were fine with. You closed your eyes, and before you knew it, you were falling asleep.

When you woke up, everyone else was gone, and Jonny was awake. He was staring up at the ceiling, apparently lost in thought.

"Jonny?" You said. Your voice was rough from sleep.

He turned and smiled at you. "Hey, Y/N."

"You feeling alright? Should I get a doctor in here?"

"Don't call anybody," Jonny said, "I feel fine. They gave me a lot of painkillers, didn't they?"

"Probably," you said.

"How'd it go out there?" He asked. "Everyone alright?"

"Yeah, a couple more guys went down, but none of us. Technically we got away with it, too."

"You're angry," Jonny observed. "Harley?" You clenched your teeth and nodded. "Don't start trouble," he said. "Don't, Y/N. It's not worth it. You know by now that taking shots at her is taking shots at the boss."

"Taking shots? She almost got you killed!" You said indignantly.

"Almost," he stressed. "Seriously, just shut up and move on, alright? We just got you back. I don't want my next social event to be your funeral."

You stared down at your hands. "What if... what if I can't move on?" You whispered.

"Move on from what," Jonny countered. He knew you too well to mistake your meaning.

"Harley." It felt equally like freedom and fear to finally admit it so publicly.

He sighed, making himself more comfortable on the bed. "Way I see it," he said, "You've got a couple options. Leave, and be miserable, or stay, try to move on, and probably be miserable anyway."

"Joker," you laughed without any humor. "Can't live with him-"

"Can't live without him," Jonny finished. Then, more quietly, "Yeah. I know how that feels."

You glanced over at him. He met your gaze steadily, daring you to say something.

"How long?" You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh, a long time now," he said. "But I don't think about it anymore. I know where my limits are, I know there's nothing I can do. And I can live with that. You, though- you're not like me. I'm not sure you can just ignore it."

"I tried to."

"I know. And look where it's landed you."

"Yeah," you said. "Then- Jonny, then what am I supposed to do?"

Jonny looked back at you with the understanding eyes of someone who knows exactly where you stand. "Do you want to stay?"

You struggled with this for a moment. "Yes."

"Then you know what to do already."

And you did. You'd make room for Harley by backing out of the picture. You'd try to do what Jonny had- pretend you're happy until you actually are.

On the bed, Jonny watched you decide this with a small, sad smile on his face.

—-

i wasn't even planning on writing all that but i decided it should be part of this story. also- what do we think of jonny's confession? what was he confessing to? idk drop a comment even if it's just to say argle bargle or smth