E P I L O G U E

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J A C K S O N

~ ~ ~

At a certain point in time in my life, I was convinced that destiny had it out for me. I was certain that for the rest of my existence, I was going to be alone.

Eventually, Juliette would have children and I would spoil them as if they were my own. I would grow old and and her kids would look up to me as their cool uncle who was too suave to ever settle down.

Then one day I'd die. A decorated fireman with hundreds of saves under his belt. My body would lie there, wearing away, cold and alone, forevermore.

The thought terrified me.

I was mortified of my own fate and I didn't know how to save myself.

Some might say that I saved Nerida, but I don't think they realize that it's the other way around.

Nerida Spade saved me.

I was at such a dark point in my life and she brought light. I hadn't laughed in years, but with Nerida, there hasn't been a day gone by where I haven't smiled.

I needed Nerida, yes, but I wanted her. You see the thing with the word need, is that it infers necessity. In this case it says that without her I will not survive and that's a given with Nerida and I.

The thing is, I wanted her. I desired her and I was so lucky to have her.

Nerida was the greatest thing to ever happen to me and I made sure she knew that every single day.

"You look so pretty in the morning sun," I heard her whisper from behind me. I was sat at the edge of the bed and I turned to find her staring up at me drowsily.

The silk sheet barely covered anything, lazily draped across her body.

I averted my eyes.

"I think that's my line babygirl," I smiled and kissed her, uncaring of anything else.

"Mmmm," she hummed and sat up. Her legs were silky smooth, looking as though they went on for miles even if we both knew she was just above average height.

Without breaking the kiss, she maneuvered her way off the bed and stood between my legs.

Her body felt so soft against mine and I couldn't resist reaching out and touching her. She broke the kiss and tossed her head back as I kissed my way down her neck.

After almost six months, you'd think I'd get accustomed to the feelings she brought out in me, but every time felt like the first time to me.

"You want some breakfast?" She asked, moaning the rest of the sentence when I bit down on her delicate skin.

"I'm having my breakfast right now," I cockily replied.

"You won't eat what I want you to so don't waste my time."

I almost choked.

Too much time with Juliette and months of sexual frustration has turned my precious angel into a nymph in heat.

I ignored her statement and tried to gather my bearings. We crawled out of bed and Nerida's smug face was apparent.

I set about making some food whilst Nerida showered, trying to rid myself of all the thoughts flooding my brain.

She walked into the kitchen just as I made her plate, dressed in denim shorts and a cropped hoodie. We sat across each other at the dining table and every once in a while I'd catch her looking at me.

"You wanna come over here?" I asked, receiving a cute little nod. She made her way over and got comfortable on my lap. She proceeded to finish her breakfast and then batted those eyelashes so I'd give her my food too.

"My baby is hungry," I teased, blowing raspberries on her neck while she tried to eat.

She pretended to try shrugging me off but we both know she loved it when I played with her like this.

"My baby..." I sang, swaying us from side to side. "My tiny queen..." Her entire neck turned a soft shade of red and it always amazes me how she can go from sexual goddess to ingenuous fairy.

"My wifey..."

The elbow I received to my gut knocked the wind out of me but I knew I had it coming.

She hopped off my lap and stormed into the kitchen with our dirty dishes in hand.

"That was not funny Jackson," she huffed when I walked in behind her.

"Yeah, you're right. You got a mean elbow."

The glare I received was enough to melt a small country but it did nothing but make me smile.

Nerida has been dropping hints about marriage for a while now. Whilst I have no problems at all with making her my wife- the thought alone gives me chills- I want to make sure it's the right time.

Nerida is only twenty-one years old. I'm ten years older than her. I'm a soon to be captain in the Fire Department. She's only been old enough to drink alcohol for a few months now.

I may be ready to settle down and she may think that she's ready, but there is no way I'm going to pressure Nerida into marriage at such a young age.

I am not scared of being committed to her, anyone can tell you that. My life revolves around keeping Nerida safe and happy. That's why I want her to really consider whether or not marriage is what she wants right now.

"If you don't want to get married to me, fine! Don't antagonize me about it."

"I do want to get married to you, I just want to make sure you want to get married to me."

She picked up the glass she was washing and turned to throw it at me, but stopped at the last second.

She was working on controlling her rage.

"I don't think it's safe for me to get married to you. I mean, I might end up being a victim of domestic violence," I cheekily commented.

She let out a shout of frustration and made a dash towards the bedroom. I may have pushed it a little too far this time and knew I had to pacify her.

In the bedroom, I found her making the bed. That's when I knew she was extra mad. Nerida doesn't clean shit.

"You know, if you don't want to marry me, just say it. You don't always have to be so mean." She sniffled and wiped her eyes, simultaneously making me feel like the asshole of the year.

I stepped towards her but she backed away, demanding I stay on the opposite side of the bed.

She cried openly, wiping at the constant stream of tears running down her face.

She always looked so beautiful. Even when crying, she was still the most captivating woman I'd ever seen. Her hair has grown out over the last couple of years and it was longer (and thicker) than ever. It fell everywhere, making her look like an exotic, warrior bunny. Her little nose was red from crying and her cheeks rosy from over exertion.

Absolutely beautiful

"Of course I want to marry-"

"Don't say that you liar!" She yelled and threw the pillow in rage. "You were the one that told me actions speak louder than words but all that's come out of your mouth recently is a bunch of horse shit!"

How did we even get here? We were just having a nice, playful breakfast and now we're having a screaming match.

"Believe what you want Nerida but my words are true whether you choose to believe them or not. I want to marry you and I will, there is no doubt about that. I will marry you when the time is right," I paused as she rolled her eyes heavenward.

"You don't want to marry me. You don't want to have sex with me. You might as well be dating your sister."

There she goes again with this sister crap. Every time she says it, I feel my balls shrivel up because all I see is Juliette's stupid face.

"Then why do I make out with my sister Nerida? Answer that?"

"I don't know! Maybe 'cause you're to pussy to fuck her!" Nerida screamed.

I groaned and pressed the heel of my palm into my eyes.

"Stop talking about this sister shit," I commanded, thoroughly disgusted by the thoughts she put in my head.

"Don't tell me what to do! You're not the boss of me," she yelled, crossing her arms.

"That's exactly why I won't marry you! You're such a fucking child!"

The moment the words left my lips, regret coursed through me. She looked heartbroken.

"Nerida," I whispered, immediately crossing the short distance that separated us.

She tried to run across the bed but for once I was faster than her. I held her down against the bed as she tried her best to get away from me.

"Don't touch me!" She wailed. "You still think I'm some little girl!"

"Nerida stop it. I am sorry for what I said, I didn't mean it." Desperation laced my tone as I tried to fix what I'd possibly destroyed.

She knows exactly which buttons to push to make me snap and I've got to work on that.

"Is that all you do now? Say things you don't mean?"

I felt as though I'd just reversed so much that her therapist has been working on. I was supposed to build her up, not break her down.

When we first got together, Nerida was wholly convinced that I thought of her as my daughter or sister and I worked hard in the last six months to change that.

I don't like to point fingers, but I blame Juliette for all of this. I think she's been putting thoughts in Juliette's head recently and now my little angel baby feels as though the extent of my love for her is based off of my willingness to marry or have sex with her.

Juliette is barely able to live on her own so I don't know why she thinks she can give anyone life advice.

It just further proves to me that Nerida isn't ready for marriage.

I managed to subdue her, holding her hands above her head and using my body to cover hers.

"Nerida you are childish," I said firmly and the pout that formed on her face did nothing to fight her case. "It's the reason why I won't marry you just yet but it's also one of the main reasons why I will."

"What are you talking about? You're speaking in riddles." She murmured stubbornly.

"I love your childishness. It annoys the living daylights out of me but I love it. I don't want you to change that part of yourself Nerida but at the same time, that part of you can't direct all your decision making."

"You are not a child so you can't make childish decisions. Marriage is a big deal. Having sex is a big deal. I believe in your progress Nerida, but I don't believe you're ready for such big changes," I explained gently.

"You don't know that," she defiantly mumbled. "I think I'll make a great wife. And a great mother one day:"

"Yes you will, you don't need to tell me that. However, I don't think it's right to have two babies in our house throwing tantrums right now," I joked.

She huffed and once again tried to shrivel away. However, I kept her in place.

"Answer this Nerida. Do you want to have a baby or do you just want to have sex with me?"

Her silence only confirmed my suspicions.

Bloody Juliette

"Can't you just fuck me and get over with it?" She begged, her eyes pleading with me to grant her wish.

No one could ever say that I don't have any self control after this. I deserve some kind of award for my steely will power.

I don't think any man would've been able to resist what I've resisted.

"Nerida, I will not have sex with you until I put a ring on that finger," I stated, meaning every word.

There was no way I could do that to her. My feelings for Nerida went beyond a desire for sex. She was my everything. I loved her more than words could ever describe. My physical desire for her could never trump my desire to keep her safe and happy.

My number one goal has always been Nerida's growth. She's more than a girlfriend to me. She always has and always will be.

"Then put a ring on my finger already," she begged.

I smiled gently.

Nerida still had so much to learn and it was up to me to always make sure that she kept growing. Part of that meant staying strong and firm in the midst of all the crazy that came out of her mouth.

"And that, is exactly why I won't give you the ring just yet." I pecked her lips and then her nose.

"You're my precious little angel and I love you more than anything else on the planet. I want the best for you, always. I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings and I'm going to stop teasing you about marriage."

She sniffled as I released her hands. I rolled us over so now she lay atop my chest as I rubbed her lower back gently.

"I just want to do something to prove my commitment to you," she whispered.

Silently, I shifted so that I sat against the headboard with her straddling my lap.

"Do you love me Nerida?" I asked simply.

"Of course I love you. I love you so much it sends me crazy."

"So it's your undying love for me that makes you so crazy," I teased.

She bit her lip and wrapped her arms around my neck, pushing her body closer to me.

"Maybe," she muttered. "The thought of you with another woman makes me think some... violent thoughts."

I chuckled at the look of conviction on her face. She didn't need to explain to me how violent she could get. That little glint in her eye is all the evidence I needed.

"Knowing you love me is all the commitment I need," I confessed.

Leaning in, I kissed her gently, relishing in the bliss I felt.

"You're so good to me Jackson," she said against my lips. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life loving you."

The look in her eye told me her mind was still flowing with lusty thoughts and even if outwardly, I was the picture of control, I wasn't going to stop my imagination.

My stomach tightened at the thrill of the future. If it's one thing I know, it'll be a heated one.

"Hypothetically speaking... if I somehow grow up by tomorrow. Will you marry and fuck me then?" Nerida asked, kissing her way down my jaw.

Heated indeed.

~ ~ ~

i would like to thank my mom for birthing me

my dad for sperming me

my friends for supporting me

my lovely readers who have brought this book to where it is today

and finally, we all need to thank firemen for being so bloody sexy

d o r i s

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