💫ANGEL💫

Waking up to the sound of my mother's voice felt surreal. All in the same, hearing her voice full of happiness and affection was even more dreamlike. I rolled her, seeing Giselle was gone from the room, and suddenly, panic overcame me. I jumped from my bed, running out of my room and into the hall. There stood my father, peering into Lina's room. The room I dreaded seeing the most. I watched him fearfully, walking in his direction. It wasn't until I heard my mom calling Lina's name, Giselle responding, and my father pleading with her, that I damn near ran into Lina's room.

"What the hell is going—" I stood in the doorway. "Mom? Dad? Oh God, I..."

"Not now Angel. I have to get your mom to bed. We've had a long trip. Just—I'll be back. Get some clothes on and get out of your sister's room."

Clothes? I looked down at myself, realizing I was wearing nothing but boxers and my never disappointing morning wood was front and center to the madness in front of me. I stared down the hall as my father hurried my mother into their room.

"Goodnight my twins. Love you both." She sang out in the distance that grew larger and larger.

Confusion caused my head to spin, the room circulating at a rate faster than I was capable of keeping up with. Shutting my eyes tightly, I tried taking several deep breaths. The panic I was greeted with moments ago, when I was interrupted from my sleep, was back to haunt me. Gutted by my fears and worries, I began replaying the last few minutes over in my head. Why did she think she was talking to me and Lina? Why did she call Giselle Lina and refer to us as "my twins"? Why was my father hovering over her like she was a helpless toddler, needing guidance and supervision? What the fuck did I miss?

"Something's wrong." I ran my fingers through my hair as I began pacing the floor. "Something's not right. Why did she—"

"Shh." Giselle ran over to me, placing her hands across my mouth. As she peeped down the hall towards my parent's room, she looked just as scared as me. "If she catches your mood, she'll be set off. Keep it down. Come in here." Giselle pulled my arm, forcing me deeper into the center of the four walls I was completely frightened of.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Dementia or Alzheimer's, I'm guessing. She thought I was Lina. Now even though I don't look anything like her, she associated me being in her room as me being her. Your father didn't want me to correct her. That means her memory is affected by whatever is going on and she may have fits when something confusing happens."

"What the fuck?" I began pacing the floor, sound dissipating from my ears each as a muffled ringing brought me to my knees. "What the fuck?" I cried out, fighting the urge to cry or scream or both.

"Calm down. It's okay. Just—" Giselle tried to comfort me, squeezing me in her arms as she kneeled down on the floor where I sat.

"Angel! What are you doing here?" My dad finally burst into the room. "And who is—"

My father must've realized the state I was in, sitting on that floor in Giselle's arms as I lost my mind. He stood silent for a second, watching the both of us. Finally, his concern turned to sadness, sharing the feeling I felt as the room fogged with pain.

"Son, I tried telling you. I'm sorry. I know I—"

"How long has she been like this? Can this been fixed? Is she—"

"Angel, this is it. This disease only worsens. There is no cure. We just have to enjoy the time we have with her."

"No!!" I stood to my feet, practically knocking Giselle on her ass without warning. "No, dad!! No!"

My father opened his arms towards me, face turning pink and then red, as his pain surfaced, and his front dropped. My dad was dealing with all of this on his own? As old as he was; as both of them were, he was going through this with mom by himself? This had to be what Lee called me home for. This had to be it.

"I'm sorry, Angel. I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry dad." I cried out, no longer able to hold back my tears. "I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry you're alone in this. I'm sorry." My body shook as we both squeezed one another for dear life. Life that we both desperately needed to survive. Life we both aimlessly attempted to endure.

When we finally let go of each other, darkness began closing in all around me. I looked around the room, trying to find one piece of light. At least one thing that would extend it's hand to me as I fell deep into a bottomless pit of sadness. But I saw nothing or no one. Just darkness. I stumbled back, clenching my hair, praying I could feel something other than the numbing agony of dread.

"I love you, son. I'm just glad you're home." And then finally, "Now who is this beautiful young lady?"

I lifted my head, remembering that Giselle had a front row seat to my family's problems. Turning to face her, her face was settled, peaceful, assuring even. I tried to play off the best smirk I could find. But who was I fooling? This was a complete disaster.

"Giselle. Dad, this is my girlfriend—"

"Whoa!" His brows raised damn near to the heavens. "Girlfriend?" He smiled. "Angel?"

"I know." I smiled, shaking my head. "A lot has changed. A lot!" I reiterated, nodding in Giselle's direction.

"Nice to meet you Mr.—"

"Dr. Trapp." My father extended open arms, turning down the formal handshake she offered.

"Dr. Trapp." Giselle smiled. "It's really nice to meet you."

"Okay, kids. I have to go to bed now. An old man has no business up and entertaining at this hour." My dad headed out of the room and into the hall. "I'm happy to know I'll have help on the farm in the morning. See you at dawn."

"Yup." I stretched my arms out, turning to Giselle, whose expression was of pure shock. I'd forgotten to mention the mandatory farm duty for any and every guest at my parent's house. Walking back to her slowly, I wrapped my hands around her waist, pulling her into my chest and inhaling her calm soft aroma. When her arms went around the back of my neck, I exhaled loudly, feeling her transfer her energy to me, soothing me immediately. I hated how much I needed her, yet loved it all the same.

The night passed quickly, nightmares haunting me at every hour. At the crack of dawn, Henry made his grand announcement, crowing loudly as he'd done for years. Funny thing is, we'd eaten at least ten versions of him. But each rooster was always called Henry. My mother made it a joke, mocking her older brother who was known for his loud, obnoxious conduct. Henry passed when I was fifteen years old, and every year following his passing, we got a new rooster named Henry.

"Oh my God, this can't be real." Giselle groaned, flipping on her back and covering her face with a pillow.

"Oh, it's real alright." I mocked. "Better get up before—"

"Rise and shine prince charming!" My dad barged into my room, unannounced, but as expected. "Time to work." He finished, walking right back out and leaving the door wide open.

I sighed, feeling that all too familiar dread of 'time to work'. We were up and out of bed, washed up, and dressed. Being that everything Giselle packed looked as if she were going to brunch, I had to loan her some sweats and a shirt. The question mark plastered on her face made me laugh as we made our way down to the kitchen, where my mom had biscuits, eggs, bacon, and milk.

"You are such a beautiful girl. Angel never brings girls home."

"Thank you." I watched her melt beneath my mom's charm, Alzheimer's nor Dementia could ever take that from her, at least.

"Are you two planning marriage? Babies? You know, Angel and Angelina always had make-believe weddings growing up. Glen always felt it was inappropriate, but I loved watching their ceremonies. Lina was good and putting those together. Now, I can't get her to even look at a boy. All that homo nonsense. She—"

I nearly choked on my biscuit, trying to catch up to the conversation. Unbelievable, she'd bring up the madness of our weekly weddings to a stranger. She'd just met Giselle, and there she was, spilling the tea on my embarrassing childhood moments. And then she drops the bomb on Lina being gay. When did I miss that memo? What the hell?

"Homo?" I questioned after taking a sip of milk.

"Honey, not today. We have to hit the farm. Lets get you to the living room. I'll turn on your show and we'll get to work." My dad interrupted.

Something inside of me told me not to drop it, allowing myself to be sidetracked by my dad's dismissal, but I did anyway. Angelina wasn't gay. Was she? She told my mom and not me? And how did my dad know about it? Did Lina tell him as well? Clearly, mom didn't approve. But why was I left out of the loop? What else weren't they telling me?

Without much time to dissect the news, we were pushed outside, taking the tractor about an acre out, where our farm stood as strong as had been when I left home. Nothing had changed. A few new calves, baby chicks, and one new pig, welcomed us as we stepped off of the tractor and stood waiting for my dad to give orders. Giselle was speechless, stunned, eyes wandering around every crevice of her surroundings.

"You okay?" I whispered into her ear as I walked up behind her.

"Mm-hmm. You?" She turned to face me, worry in her eyes.

"Yup." I grinned, lacing my fingers between hers.

"Okay lovebirds. The horses left gifts. You can start there. Giselle, if you can't handle it, feed the chickens. Once that's cleaned out, we have to get everyone under shelter. The temperatures are dropping by the day and they won't survive out here." And without taking a I single breath. "Well, don't just stand there, holding hands and using up the oxygen, get to work." He demanded.

My dad was a gentleman for the most part, but a hard ass when it came to working hard. He was never lenient on women either. Everyone was equal on the farm. I remember how badly he'd scolded Lina one year for dropping at least six eggs when he'd sent her to collect the eggs from the chicken coop. She cried the remainder of that morning, and he could care less. But once the work was done and we were back in the house, he consoled her and immediately turned into the gentle father he was known to be.

"Papa doesn't mean to be hard on you, but the world won't be any easier. When it's time to work, you work, baby girl. When it's time to play, you play. Okay?" He rocked her in his lap as he cuddled her. Lina was definitely a daddy's girl. She praised the ground he walked on, and he was equally so.

"I think I'm going to puke." Giselle had her face buried in her shirt, shoveling shit and damn near in tears. I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Baby, if you want, just sit tight and I'll do this. I know this isn't what you signed up for."

"No!" She begged to differ. "If I'm going to be apart of the family, I have to do this. I'm going to do this." Committed to her duties, Giselle continued to work.

Although she didn't move as quickly as I did, being that this type of thing was something I'd waken up and done every morning of my life, Giselle was a natural. I never pictured her in this environment. My heart felt warm as I imagined us, older and still madly in love, working our farm and chasing our children, nurturing our land and complacent in our hearts. This could be us, I remembered thinking as I worked beside her. This could really be our future.

***Author's Words****

Giselle is finding her place in the Trapp's home. 

And there goes Angel, creating a future in his head that he knows Giselle has no intensions of living up to. Farm life? Babies? Do you forsee this in their distant future:?

Only one way to find out?

More to come....4/30

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