💫ANGEL💫

Sitting up there on that rooftop, underneath the coolness of the moonlit sky, the sound of the ocean at a distance, sirens, horns, laughter, and life beneath us. I wish we could dwell in this less chaotic scene forever. Her body shivering underneath my grasp. Her breath brushing across my skin as she lost every once of control she owned. I couldn't keep my hands off of her. I didn't want to let her go. Not even for a second. All I wanted was to be interlaced in the love she provided and the shelter that protected my delicate heart from the rest of the world.

I watched the warmth of Giselle's amazement turn cold with pain, guilt, and sorrow. My heart immediately sank to the bottomless pits of my stomach, causing an undeniable and familiar ache. All I saw was Angelina. All I could hear and smell and feel was her. I couldn't shake the feeling that she wanted to jump. She wanted to leave just like my twin did. But why? Because her entire life was life? Her mom and dad split up when she was born, separating her and her twin sister, never revealing the truth about her life, and feeding into the falsification that the lady that raised her was her mom; that her father hated her for no good reason, when in reality, he resented her for the absence of her real mother? Was that the pain that coursed through her body, darkening her spirit, transitioning a scenic rooftop experience into a nightmarish decline?

Had the dreams that revisited me every night came to fruition? Were the nightmares that haunted me trying to reveal the truth behind it all? Was it really me that drove these women to their plummeting death? Would she be next, all because of me? I couldn't keep my thoughts there too long, getting lost in the darkness that once consumed me. Pulling her down, I could feel my entire body shaking. I only prayed she didn't sense the fear that was seeping from my well put together front. I had to return us both to the warmth of our moment, our love, our sacred reason for even existing. And so we sat on the ground on that roof top, wrapped in each other's arms, with

"Bet still on?" Giselle whispered, reaching down into my sweats.

"Yup." I mumbled between kisses. "Still on."

"Ha."

"That's so funny to you?"

"It is. You're so hard for me."

"Damn, baby. Feeling bad tonight?"

"I want you, Angel."

"Look who's the one begging." I hissed, helping her as she struggled to take my Johnson out.

"You're next." She teased, taking her lips from mine and motioning downward.

It wasn't long before she took me into her warm, moist lips, immediately choking down every inch of me. I jumped from the feeling of her throat caving in on me.

"Fuck!" I groaned, head falling back as I glanced up at the bright stars that covered every inch of the sky. "Shit, girl. What the fuck?"

She continued on, pulling me in and out. Out and in. Slurping, gulping, stroking. I felt myself becoming far more aroused than I wanted to be. She knew what she was doing, and she was doing it well. Pushing her away, I grabbed hold of myself and placed it back in my pants. There she sat, pouting again.

"No fair."

"Play fair, baby." I grinned. "No need to rush things. What was the word you used earlier? Slow?" I winked, standing to my feet. "Come on. Lets head back inside.

It had to have been about four o'clock in the morning once we both settled down and grew tired of the dancing, alcohol, and games. I was shocked that, not once, had I watched television. Not once had I checked my phone. Not once had I become so distracted that I missed out on one solid motion she made. I was into this girl. I was in love with every part of her. The good. The bad. The ugly. The beautiful. All I could do was hope she felt the same. I hoped she loved all of me the way I loved all of her. I hoped she craved my affections the way I craved hers. I needed it more than I could ever admit. And, knowing how unhealthy that could be, I didn't fight it. I would never try. All I wanted was to know her and love her and be with her for as long as God allowed.

"I'm so tired." She yawned, stretching out across the sofa.

"You ready for bed?"

"Why does that sound like a trap?" She smiled.

"It's not."

"So ,why'd you say it like that?"

"You want me to be honest?" I sighed, closing my eyes as I pictured the right words. Then I realized, there were none. I just had to say it. And so, I did. "I'm scared as hell."

"We slept together at my house, Angel. It's the same."

"It's not. It's my room. My bed. It means something more than just, sleeping. I told you—"

"No one's ever been in your room or your bed. I know, baby. I'm sorry."

"Me too. Come on." After turning off the lights in the front, I grabbed her hand, slowly leading her to the back. Plugging up a plug that sat on the floor, the room lit up in a dark red light, outlining every wall. "Welcome to hell." I roared playfully.

"Oh my God." She giggled, pushing me playfully.

"Take your clothes off. Let's shower." I reached in my closet for a pair of briefs for me and one of my shirts for her.

"I don't have underwear."

"Give me those. I'll put them in the washer. Go ahead and get in. I'm coming."

Without questioning me, she did as I said. Once again, reminding me how much of a woman she was for allowing me to be a man sometimes. THE man, to be exact. I loved how she followed my lead. How she trusted my direction, without question. It was a beautiful quality that she possessed, reminding me a lot of the woman my mother is and had always been.

It didn't take long for me to join her. The water was raging hot, burning at my skin the moment it touched me. I winced a few times, already prepared for her hot temperature preference. As she bathed beneath the scorching falls, I couldn't stop my mind from recounting the first time I'd see her for her. The first time she bared herself in my shower, unable to control her hands, her lips, her true desires. "I feel real", she confessed, referring to the way she felt around me. The way she touched me. The way those blue eyes wrapped me up in their waves of undeniable affection.

"What are you thinking about?" Her sweet voice called out to me.

"This shower. You." I admitted with a whisper.

Giselle walked towards me, wrapping her arms around my neck as she looked up at me. Studying every part of me, she didn't speak. But she also didn't need to. Why memorize your favorite parts of me when I plan on always being right here?

"I never thought, in a million years, that'd I'd be here with you like this."

"What do you mean?"

"All those times I stared at you, thought of you, imagined you beside, on top of, underneath me. I never thought I'd ever get the pleasure of actually having it. You're—you're so beautiful. A mess. But a beautiful one."

Lowering my head, releasing the bind her contact had me in, I took a moment to analyze her words. She really thought I was someone worth having. She really believed I was worth all the madness that came with me. This perfect girl. This special girl.

"This is it for me, Giselle. For a while."

"Maybe even forever." She shrugged.

"Hope so." I mumbled under my breath.

Once dressed, I admired her as she stood there in my shirt, tying up her wet hair into a bun. Laying back on my bed, I couldn't help but take a photographic note of every second she spent in my room. Even the time before, her dancing, singing, living it up like there were no demons knocking right outside the doors of her sanity. These were definitely going in my core memory bank. These were moments I'd share with my kids. This person was someone I'd tell stories about, write poems about, hum love songs in memory of.

"My shirt looks so much better on you."

"I think it looks better off." She joked, more than likely hinting at the 'no sex' bet."

"Shh. Come on before I change my mind."

"Still scared?" Her tone changed. No longer joking, I loved how she took my feelings seriously.

"Yup." And I was. My body was trembling, my heart pounding, as I broke every rule and vow I'd made to myself years ago. No girls in my room. No women in my bed. Fuck them somewhere else. This place is mine and only I belong here. It's my safe place. No bitches. All of that erased and irrelevant because I was beyond infatuated. I was in love.

Giselle climbed in bed, underneath the comforter, facing me as she lay on the pillow opposite of mine. For a moment, she said nothing. Her blue eyes pierced into mine, reading every thought and fear that sat there, exposed. Finally, her lips spread into a soft smile. Reassuring. Calming.

"This isn't so bad, right?"

"If that's what you call it." I sighed, turning onto my back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Angel, I'm not going to hurt you."

"New subject, please. This isn't helping. My anxiety is on one thousand, at this point."

"Fine. What colors should we choose for the wedding." She joked. Of course she'd joke.

"Ha. Ha." I turned to face her again. "If I chose anyone to be right here, it definitely would be you."

"I'm honored. And I promise I won't fuck it up."

"Good. Now get your ass over here and cuddle with me."

"Oh! Mr. Bad boy likes to cuddle, eh?" She giggled, scooting closer to me and laying her head on my chest. "I love cuddling, too. Especially tatted bad boys with a vendetta for blonds."

For at least an hour, we joked, laughed, wrestled, and kept the energy elevated. But it didn't take long for us both to fall into the fog of the eventful evening we'd partaken in. Giselle fell asleep first. No matter how many times I called her name, asking if she was asleep, she lied, saying "No. I was just closing my eyes for a second", or "Nope. Still up.". Meanwhile, her chest rose and fell peacefully, almost in a somber-like state. I watched her for a while, mesmerized by the beauty of the woman laying next to me. Mesmerized by the love that exuded from her aura, sucking me into a fortress of comfort. And also, ready to boast on the fact that I'd won the bet, and in a few hours, she'd be slaving away in the kitchen every day for the next week. And then, I too, drifted into sleep.

EVERY SINGLE DAY, for the next week, It was class, café, Loki's, and my apartment, where Giselle would cook me up a lovely meal to fulfil her end of the bet. The first night, enchiladas. The second, stuffed chicken breast and potatoes. The third night was different. I'd made my way to Loki's around five o'clock. Zack, Sevyn, and Max were there as well. We all sat around smoking and playing the video game, trashing talking and gossiping in between time.

"Where's your girl, lover boy?" Zack teased, passing me the controller after he'd just lost a game of Madden to Loki.

"Sorority shit." Taking the controller, choosing my team and editing the roster, I didn't bother wasting my time making eye contact.

"She heard anything back from her folks?" Loki chimed in, referring to the evening Giselle set her childhood home on fire, following a world-class tantrum that nearly got all three of us arrested.

"She blocked everyone's number."

"What about that beautiful twin sister of hers?"

"She has a twin?" Zack eyes lit up with ecstasy as prominent as a glow stick waving pill popper, prowling through the night.

"Relax." I huffed.

"Y'all have these secrets and shit, keeping everything from us. We deserve to know."

"Shut the fuck up, Zack. None of this is your business, let alone ours. It's her personal life. Let it be."

Right when it looked as though he was going to question me again, I threw him a look, daring him to step out of line. One thing I was not going to tolerate was gossip when it came to my girl. Her issues were hers, not anyone else's. No one was going to be talking about her, rather she was present or not.

"On another note, there's this party—" Loki started, pausing the game to do one of the many lines Zack cut out on the coffee table.

"God, Loki. You should really slow down." I groaned, unsure how he did so many different drugs, yet still had his head on slightly straight.

"Sevyn and I are down." Max grinned, tapping Sevyn on the bum playfully.

"Giselle may be down too, if—" Sevyn looked over at me.

"If what?" I asked.

"If you two come together. She'll never come without you."

"Yeah. You know you two are joined at the hip now." The sarcasm in Zack's tone sent a chill of anger rushing through my fingertips.

"Bro, what is your deal?" I stood up, controller still in hand, eyeing Zack disgustingly.

Zack stood as well, facing off with me with enough confidence to knock me on my ass. I tried taking deep breaths, calming myself before I buried my fist in his pretty ass face. Staring him down didn't' help, the fury of month-long jealous stand-offs burned from within, echoing its dare for me to beat the living shit out of him. But I knew If I laid one hand on him Giselle would never forgive me. Even though he had other feelings for her, she truly saw him as a close friend; just as she saw everyone else in that room. I broke eye contact with Zack, glancing around the room at the anticipation-filled stares. They were all waiting. It was like they knew I wouldn't be able to control myself and lash out like I always did. So, I didn't. I dropped the controller, grabbed my shit, and left.

***Author's Words****

A lot is changing from within for Angel.

From the start of this novel up to now, he has grown and made a turn around.

Do you think this love he has for Giselle will continue to push him in the right direction?

Stay tuned for more

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