💫ANGEL💫

GISELLE never said it, those three little words at the edge of her tongue. She never admitted anything, really. I wanted to blame her. I wanted to point my stupid little finger like a child and place blame on her for the fall of our oblivious love. Truth of the matter is, it wasn't just her fault. We both mishandled each other. We both invested in every possible decision that built up a wall between us. Bricked and cemented. Nailed and glued. We were further from one other than we were before we met. At least the universe drew us up into a plan for an eternity of blissful love. Without the pain of my past and the light of her entire being, we would have never been attracted to one another. But we ruined it all in just a few months.

The idea of continuing to ignore each other's presence, tiptoeing around the feelings, whispering beneath the tension, was driving me mad. We'd all practically moved in with Loki, dropping in after classes and spending the night every other day. As Thanksgiving approached, he became more and more anxious and somewhat sad. To support him and show him he wasn't alone, we all made a silent pact to keep him close.

"What time is it?" Loki dragged.

"Almost nine." Scarfing down a bowl of cereal like it was her last meal, Giselle turned to face Loki, ultimately, giving me a full glimpse of her beautiful face.

Stunning.

"Shit. I'm running late." Frantically, Loki darted out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and disappeared down the hall. I watched him until he was no longer visible.

"Okay, so we have an idea." Zack entered the house from the backyard. He, V, and Sevyn were all in the jacuzzi having drinks and laughing it up about whatever it was they were discussing. We could only hear bits and pieces of their conversation every now and then, as they went from arguing about the World Cup to discussing political views on the upcoming election. All the things I had no interest in.

"What now, Zack?" Giselle rolled her eyes, smiling from me to him.

"Lets go skating. Like roller skating." Hands up in the air, he yelled out like he'd just had the best idea yet.

"Skating?" I frowned, knowing I had experience in roller skates. Immediately, I was against the idea.

"When?" I looked to Giselle, who looked pretty interested.

"Now! Lets get dressed and go out."

"Loki's about to leave." My way of stalling, bringing up the one person this would make feel better. They wouldn't want to do it if Loki couldn't come.

"Loki's not going anywhere." Giselle corrected me. "He's on a video call with his therapist."

"I'm sure he'd love to come." Zack, ran off, heading up the stairs towards his room.

Damn.

"You want to do this?" Speaking directly to Giselle, I could tell it threw her off, being that we'd been talking and walking around each other for weeks.

"Well...I was suppose to meet up with Roman and friends to hang out."

"Oh." I immediately lowered my head, hating myself for attempting to talk to her.

"I could always just invite him, though. He and Loki are old friends."

"Tuh." I let out through my teeth, shaking my head and walking off to avoid saying anything unpleasant.

That's exactly what she did. About an hour after Zack's proposition, we all packed into Giselle's G-Wagon and headed to the skating rink. It was a longer drive than usual. I couldn't tell if it was because I was ready to get out of that pink ass shit Aaron bought her or if it was because I was slowly suffocating, thinking about being around Giselle and her new love interest. I felt like a fucking loser.

Once at the rink, the process was quick, we paid, walked in, got our skates, and everyone got ready to hit the floor.

"You look petrified." V laughed, rolling up beside me as I held onto the wall for dear life.

"You have no idea." A nervous smile was all I managed as I watched everyone else skate with ease. "Go ahead. Don't let little ole me ruin your fun."

"No way. Come on. We'll go to the middle and ill teach you the basics."

Skating on the carpeted floor was easy compared to how it felt to get onto the sleek wooden floor. I swear, one wrong move and my life would've been over. Once we made it to the center of the rink, I noticed it was where all of the little kids were. How embarrassing. I made up my mind to learn quickly to lessen the embarrassment. I was like that when Giselle taught me to surf. I just kind of talked my brain into it. Then, boom, I had it. I'd do the same thing with these awful roller skates.

"You got it. Just stay relaxed." V smiled, watching roll around the center of the rink.

"Okay, now teach me to go backwards."

"Who do you think I am, Houdini?" V joked, laughing at her own joke, causing me to laugh as well.

Whether she believed in her abilities to teach or my determination to learn, it only took about forty-five minutes for me to feel confident enough to join in with everyone else. I was grateful for her. V was always good at taking care of me, in more ways than just one. Shit, she talk my crazy ass to skate in less than an hour.

"Look who's joining the big boys!" Loki screamed, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, almost knocking me off balance.

"Whoa there, dude. I've managed to stay on my feet this whole time. Don't ruin it." I laughed.

"You learn fast, man." Roman commended me. "It took me days to learn how to skate."

"Yeah?"

"Hell yeah. I busted my ass over and over the first try. I have yet to see you fall."

"Don't jinx me."

"You're good. You've got this." Giselle came up out of nowhere, looped around and faced us head on as she skated backwards. That's what I wanted to learn next.

"Easy for you to say." I teased.

"Skating is like sex. Relax, go easy, and let it flow. You're good at that." If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was flirting with me. I had to me making that up in my head.

"Hmm." Roman hummed, causing my eyes to shoot his way. Had he touched her? There was no way she'd let him do that so soon. I wanted more insight, so I remained silent to see how the conversation went.

"What? You know I'm right." She smiled, doing a spin and returning to face us.

"I don't know. Skating is nothing like sex."

"Think about it. The adrenaline rush, the exertion of energy as you use every muscle in your body, especially your lower half. Opening, twisting, and turning your hips. Starting off a little stiff and then you loosen up and find that easily fluent flow that makes your spirit come alive as you weave through and balance around gravity." As Giselle spoke, she moved her body sensually. Or maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. Her hips swayed, she closed her eyes and ran her fingers through that bright blonde hair, crossing one foot behind the other and pushing her hips backwards to brace for the slight turn of the rink.

I exhaled loudly, unable to take my eyes from her beautiful body as she became lost in her own words and the music. Almost forgetting she was speaking to us, I could see my voice startled her when I said, "Sounds about right to me."

"How so?" Roman smacked his teeth, looking over at me.

"You'd have to actually fuck her to know." I smirked, then I immediately stopped, allowing them to leave me behind as I made my way off the rink.

"You okay?" Max came up beside me as I made my way to a bench.

"Yeah. I'm good." I sighed, taking a seat.

"Don't let him get to you."

"Who?"

"Roman."

"He's actually cool, give or take a few qualities."

"Those being his feelings for Giselle?"

"No shit, Sherlock."

Max laughed, nudging me in the side. "She doesn't have a thing for him. He likes her, but she..."

I quickly looked over to her, watching her talk and laugh. Watching him as he was unable to take his eyes off her; just like me. She had him under her spell just as she had me. Jealousy raged underneath my calm demeanor.

"But she what?"

"She loves you."

Finally taking my eyes off of Giselle, I looked to Max. If anyone knew what was really going on in that pretty little head of hers, it was Max and Sevyn. They were fairly close, and I was sure she knew what she was talking about. But if she loved me, why was she working so hard to appear otherwise?

"She's just trying to figure things out and give you space." Max finished, as if she read my mind.

"I never asked for space."

"You didn't have to. What happened between you two...well, three... was a mess. She just needs to figure things out. You're right for letting her be. Just don't let her drift away too long. She may get lost." Max stood up.

"What?" I shook my head, trying to understand.

"Go get your girl, dude. It's been what? Three and a half weeks? Four?" And with that, Max went back onto the rink and left me with my thoughts.

The rest of the time there, I was so lost in my own mind, I forgot about everyone and everything around me. I really had to check myself. Knowing that I had fallen deeply in love with a woman when I least expected it; Knowing that I had did a whole three sixty with my life, in such a short period of time; Opening myself up to Giselle was inevitable. It was like seeing the future play out right in front of my eyes, without enough juice to actually live in the moment. Obviously worth more than just one moment, she was my future. I just had to man up and be upfront with her. I had to get my girl before someone else did. So, I decided, no more tiptoeing, prancing around the truth. This time, I would let her know how I felt and demand a decision from her. And "friends" was no longer an option.

WE ALL RETURNED BACK TO LOKI'S, including Roman. All jokes aside, he was actually likeable. He came off as a douche at first, I'll admit, but the more I was around me, the more I realized he was an okay dude.

"I don't think I ever gave you your props on this pad, Loki. This place is phenomenal." Roman raised a shot glass towards Loki.

"'Preciate it, man. Perfect place to dump your kid off at and let him figure out life all on his own." Back in a sour mood, Loki threw back his third shot.

Looking away, the scene was too familiar, and I couldn't help but feel like I had a front row seat to the old version of myself. He was in pain, self-medicated and trying to numb through the pain. The worst thing you could ever choose. But I also knew that no one could intervene. It was something he had to work through on his own time. Always finding time to pull him to the side, I always checked in though, making sure he was stable enough to stay on a good path. Knowing he'd been in school for so long already, heading down the road of becoming a neurosurgeon, I had to do my best to look out for him. His future was too sacred to watch crumble into pieces.

"You drove here?" I was interrupted by her soft, sweet tone, speaking just above a whisper.

"No. I rode with V."

"Okay. Um—" Giselle looked troubled, almost as if she wanted to ask me something, but was too afraid to.

"Giselle, you—" I stopped, seeing Roman walking towards her. "Never mind." Turning my back, attempting to make my way out of her presence before I had the relentless desire to tell him to get a fucking clue.

"Hey!" Giselle grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks. "Why do you keep running from me? I thought we agreed to be friends."

"Giselle." I sighed, shoulders slumping as my body lost its ability to pretend.

"Angel." Batting her eyes, I could feel her attempt to twist and pull me with her love spell. She was good at that; luring me into a haze of obedience that I always found hard to fight.

"I can't be your friend, Giselle. I'm trying. I promise. I just—" I looked up long enough to see Roman realize we were having a moment, detouring from his original path towards her. "I can't watch you sashay around the truth, watching you date, watching you have the time of your life without me."

"I—just. Angel, I'm sorry."

"I was just coming in to let you all know that we're all getting the jacuzzi and pool if you wanted to join us." Roman shouted from afar. I rolled my eyes, never looking his way, afraid if I lost contact with her eyes, I'd lose her altogether.

"Are you though?" I began pacing the floor as heat rose from the tip of my toes to my head. A certain panic flickering through my limbs, causing me to lose control of my emotions. "Are you actually sorry? I'm going fucking crazy and you seem to have it all together. I mean, do you even care about me? What the fuck is going on?"

"I do care." I looked over at Giselle as her head lowered and the glaze of happiness broke down, seemingly revealing her true face. It was like seeing the brightness of the sunshine peeping through the sides and cracks of a window, only to draw back the curtains, revealing a world on fire rather than the beauty of the sunrise. She was my world; And she was on fire. "I'm just trying to move on."

I rushed towards her, before I knew it, wrapping my arms about her tiny body. "Baby, I don't want to move on. I want you. All of you. I want your love and your hate and your flaws and your perfections. I just want you, Giselle. Don't you get that? Can't you see that?"

I couldn't believe the vulnerability that revealed itself in the purest of forms. So honest. So careless and passionate. I'd never been this way my entire life. Yet, there I was, opening myself up to a woman and praying she was careful with my heart. A heart that was already so beaten and battered. So delicate. But I didn't care. I just wanted Giselle's love. And I wanted it to myself.

***Author's Words****

Is he finally ready to make his intentions known?

How will Giselle take it if Angel is completely honest, revealing all of his desires?

Is it too late? Read on for more....

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