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šŸ’«GISELLEšŸ’«



"Aaron, what are you doing here?" I walked towards him slowly, watching him place two assortments of flowers on the floor.

"Surprise, babe!" He shouted, spreading his arms wide to welcome me to an embrace.

I walked into his arms and allowed him the pleasure of squeezing me tightly. I didn't return the love, still in shock. My mind was still. My body was still. Everything just stopped and froze dead in its tracks. It was almost like the world stopped, while my head spiraled out of control.

"Where did all these flowers come from?" Aaron huffed, letting go of me.

"Iā€”I just got here. I don'tā€”"

"Oh look, the card." Sevyn said in the most monotoned voice I'd ever heard from her. She sounded like those wannabe actors that had no idea how to do the one job they signed up for, to sound believable. "They're from my lover. Oh yay!"

I burst out laughing, unable to contain myself. This girl was a complete nut. I wasn't even sure if Aaron believed her, but the way she sounded, so foolish, I couldn't even take her seriously. Sevyn and Max both began gathering the flowers as I opened our room door. We all placed the flowers throughout the room, watching as each assortment filled up more and more space.

"I have something for you." Aaron grinned, as I took a seat on my bed.

"Really? I frowned. What is it?"

"I know that you've been down since...you knowā€”your dad. So, I came here bearing a gift you're sure to love."

"Okay?"

"Okay, so come downstairs with me really quick." Aaron grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I turned to look at Sevyn and Max, who still looked as stunned as me.

Dragging me behind him up, Aaron seemed happy and giddy until we reached the double doors that lead outside. Once out there, he looked out at the lot, cheesing harder than a man standing at the end of the altar on his wedding day. I stood there, feeling stupid and guilty, not wanting to utter a single word in fear that I would say the worst.

"Tada!" He sang out.

"What, Aaron?" I laughed.

"I bought you a car. I know you've been bumming rides from your friends and catching Ubers. So I came here early this morning and got you a car. Well, a G-Wagon."

"Are you kidding?" My eyes grew wide as I eyed the truck me, Max, and Sevyn had just stood admiring. "You bought this?" I screamed, jumping into his arms. He held me close to him as the thrill of the moment consumed every frightening resemblance of guilt.

I ran back upstairs and grabbed Max and Sevyn. It was about ten minutes of us hooting and screeching excitingly. We all took turns getting behind the wheel, rolling down all the windows and pretended to be doing eighty in a fifty-five with the wind blowing through our hair. Finally, we turned it on and listened as music blared from each speaker.

Aaron just watched, amused, assured, and astonished. He'd laugh every time we did something ridiculous, or educate us every time we touched or questioned something we had no idea about. And then, just like it never left, the guilt returned. I looked at the man I once only had eyes for. I stared into his hopeful gaze and felt awful. How was I going to break the news? How was I going to break his heart? Then I was reminded of the of the first day I'd realized his love for me. The first day he didn't even have to use words to declare the feelings he wore proudly for the world to see.



"And the winner for Homecoming Duchess is none other than---Sophmore, Giselle Mone." The announcer screamed over the roaring crowd.

My heart sank to the bottom of my belly as my name echoed throughout the stadium. I stood in the middle of the field, with the rest of the candidates, stunned, stuck in place and unable to comprehend the announcement I'd waited for.

"Giselle!" Aaron yelled from the sideline of the football field. He and his parents stood in the place where my parents were supposed to be.

Finally, I walked up and accepted my sash and small crown. Many people would feel cheated standing up there getting third place, but I was only a Sophomore, and I was receiving the honor that most Juniors didn't even get. That meant next year I could win Queen or Princess. That meant by the time I was a Senior I'd be guaranteed to win Queen. I was thrilled.

It didn't matter that my parents weren't in town. I had Aaron and his parents. It didn't matter that, when it was time to take photos, my mom and dad weren't standing on each side of me. I had three loving and nurturing people who had been by my side for every moment I'd needed them. Once I was done taking pictures with his parents, Aaron ran over to the announcer and did the unthinkable.

"Is this thing on?" We all heard him mumble before tapping the mic. Aaron cleared his throat and then proceeded to make an even bigger spectacle of me. "Sup everyone! Y'all know who I am. And I'm sure you know my girl, Giselle." He paused, allowing everyone to cheer and scream, egging him on. It was true. They all knew Aaron. Every single last person. But they didn't really know me. I wasn't that social and I only hung around Aaron's friends.

"Aaron!" I pleaded, knowing this was going to blow up and even more attention would be on me.

"Wait, babe. I got this." He smiled. "Tonight is a special night for her. So, I want you all to make sure you make her feel it. Tell her how beautiful she Is, the way I do every day. Tell her how proud of her you are, like I do every day. Listen to her when she speaks, cause she's smart as hell and you could learn a thing or two. But most importantly, as we dance and party tonight, remind her that her boyfriend loves her with all of his heart."

I gasped at his confession. Love? Aaron had never used that word. He'd always shown it, but never said it. I'd known for months he loved me. It was evident in the way he spoke to me, catered to me, took care of me, handled me with all the care in the world. I knew he loved me without needing to hear it.

"You love me?" I whispered into his neck as I embraced him in front of everyone.

"With all of my heart." Aaron peered through me as his eyes pierced into mine. "You are my world."

"You are my world, Aaron. I love you too."

"I know. I've always known. Just like I'm sure you've known how mad I am for you."

"Don't make me cry." I choked.

"Come here." Aaron picked me up, lifting my feet from the ground. The crowd roared as we made out like no one was watching. Even his parents cheered for us. I felt so loved. So welcomed. So appreciated. Just like many times, the absence of my own parents didn't matter.


AFTER ADMIRING THE G-Wagon Aaron bought for me, the girls went off on their own, leaving him and I alone. We went back up to my dorm room, where I was reminded of my recent sins. All those roses staring at me, pointing their thorns in my direction, blaming me for the crimes I'd committed and the consequences behind them. I didn't want to feel the burns of regret, grazing my flesh with an intense sting. Not only was I being tormented by the thoughts of the things I'd done, but the things I wanted to do. I didn't want to be locked in my room, alone, with Aaron. I wanted Angel there with me. I wanted to lie naked in my bed with him and explore every inch of his body. I wanted to feel those perfect lips on my skin and my lips. I wanted those eyes, holding all of his troubled emotions, staring back at me as I tried to read his mind.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I lied. "I was just trying to calm myself after all of this excitement."

Aaron leaned back on my bed, holding himself up on his elbows.

"Come sit on daddy's lap and tell me all about it."

"What?" I frowned, staring oddly at his figure but not quite seeing his face.

"Hmm?" He looked just as confused as I did.

"I thought you just saidā€”"

"I didn't say anything."

What the hell? Did I just imagine that? I literally sat my dumb ass right there in front of him and imagined him speaking lines he'd never utter. The only person who'd say those words to me was my lonely boy. I closed my eyes, trying to pull myself together, but guilt had a grip on me that was so deadly. I was becoming the prey to a lethal python, coiled up in a grip that was slowly squeezing the life from my body. No time to squirm or squeal. No time to fight back. Just a slow, precise, strategic death sentence.

Aaron pulled me onto him, wrapping his arms around me gently as he peered into my eyes. That icy gray glower that once weakened my knees and caused my heart to sink into my stomach was looking at me with all the love I once knew. I smiled at the familiar feeling it brought.

"I've missed you." He whispered.

"Me too." Even though it felt like a lie, it wasn't. Aaron was all I knew, and I truly missed being under him. But at the same time, not being around him gave me the freedom to figure out who the hell I was.

"You look happy." Aaron began rubbing his fingers up and down my back. Usually this gesture led to sex, me unable to escape the feeling it gave me between my legs. Not this time. I felt nothing.

"I am happy. School is great and I'm having a lot of fun. I've met some real amazing people here, Aaron."

"Good. When was the last time you talked to your parents?"

"Umm...I haven't talked to my dad since he stood me up. I spoke to my mom the day before that. Why?"

"No reason. Just asking."

"Aaron, why do I keep getting the feeling like something is going on that you're not telling me about?"

"Because it's not my place, Star."

"What's not your place? You being out all the time with Tam or every time we're on the phone you can only talk for a little while before ending the call quickly? You being at my parent's house even though I'm not there? What is going on?"

"I can't, babe. You should just talk to your parents." The look on his face was sincere, but I could tell something wasn't right. Aaron and my dad hadn't seen eye to eye since the incident on prom night, but Aaron still had loads of respect for him, so if something really was happening at home, I know he'd never tell me.

Was that why my dad wanted to come visit? I'd thought of it the day we talked, before he stood me up, but after this conversation with Aaron, I was sure I was right. He was coming to deliver bad news. So why did he change his mind? What would make him not come? Did my mom stop him? Did he chicken out? Something was going on, and clearly, I was the only person left in the dark.

"Hey! Don't get sad on me." Aaron kissed my lips, removing me from my thoughts and bringing me back into the reality I wanted no part of.

Before I knew it, another kiss, and another. Then tongue. He wanted to have sex. I sighed quietly, not wanting any part of him on or in my body. As we fondled me, freely, he kissed me slowly, not even noticing that I wasn't kissing him back. I wanted to cry, feeling nothing and wanting something so different. Less than twenty four hours ago, I was lip locking and violating every part of another man's body. How on earth could I bring myself to have sex with my boyfriend after that?

"Wait." I stopped him as his fingers entered me.

"Are you on yourā€”"

"Well, no. I just. I should be on soon and I don't like toā€”" I lied, but was cut off.

"No. No. It's ok. I understand." Of course he did.

So instead of having sex, further confusing my mind and heart, we watched a movie and ordered food. How he could be so understanding at a time like that, I'll never know. Being that we hadn't seen or touched each other in months, I thought he'd be upset. But then I thought...

"Have you had sex with anyone else?" I thought I was thinking to myself, but clearly, I had spoken aloud.

"What?"

"Have you had sex with anyone else?"

"My God, Star. Seriously?" Aaron let go of me and sat up.

"Is that what this is about? You've slept with someone else?"

"What?" I frowned, confused at how the question turned on me so quickly.

"Who was it? The guy from the video?"

"Aaron? What theā€”"

"It was. Wasn't it?" He huffed. "I knew it. I knew it when I saw how you two looked at each other."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I'm a man, Giselle. I know these things."

"Giselle?" Aaron hardly ever called me Giselle. I mean, sure, it's my name, but I was always babe or Star. Always.

"How did a simple question directed towards you turn to me fucking Angel?"

"Oh. That's his name, eh? Angel?"

My bedroom door burst open and in popped Max and Sevyn.

"What's up love birds! Ready to party?"

"Wait...what did you say about Angel?" Sevyn cut Max off, reading the room and realizing we were in the middle of a fight.

"Nothing." I lied, sitting up and fixing my clothes. Aaron exhaled loudly, stood to his feet, and left the room.Ā 



***Author's Words****

What a mess, right?

Read on to see things get even messier.

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