💫ANGEL💫

"How'd you like the shrimp linguine?" Vanessa stood at my sink, washing out both of our dishes. I watched her, in nothing but her underwear, forgetting to respond. Finally, she turned to face me. "Um...hello?" She sang, waving her hand in the air to get my attention.

"It was dope. I love your cooking. You know that already, though."

"Duh, dufus! I just want to hear you say it." She laughed, then went back to cleaning.

All jokes aside, I couldn't fight the thoughts that crossed my mind at times. V was good in bed, good in the kitchen, great as a friend, and fun to be around. Still, I had the hardest time imagining her and I being anything more than what we were. Call it selfish, but I dreaded the idea of asking her opinion of it all. A "friends with benefits" situation never ended well. Everyone knows that. But this one was going so well I didn't want to ruin it by asking too many questions.

"Okay. What's really on your mind?" V straddled me, wrapping her hands around my neck. My hands immediately clutched her waist, then fell to her ass.

"Nothing. What's on yours?" I deflected. My specialty.

"Cum." She whispered in my ear, then took the lobe into her warm mouth, brushing her tongue across the back of my ear. She began traveling down to my neck.

Clouds flooded my head as I tried to remain in the moment. Involuntarily, my thoughts circled back on my night with Giselle. Skin soft as rose petals as my fingers grazed every area of her body. That sweet aroma pouring from her pores as she perspired anxiously. Roses, Vanilla, Coconut. So Sweet. My lips pressing against here luscious, pink, delicate, lips. The moans that escaped her mouth and poured into mine when I pressed up against her, praying she felt how hard she made me. But the part I couldn't fathom the most was the gush of fulfillment inside. That feeling that had been a stranger in my heart and mind for years. My heart ached and my stomach turned in the best way possible. It was a satisfactory pain. It was like a defibrillator, shocking my heart from the deadly somber it had fallen victim to. Was it just a coincidence and I was finally coming back to the me that was capable of loving? Of trusting? Or was this warmth only the product of holding the most beautiful blonde in my arms, driving her dangerously into a world unaccustomed to us both? There was only one way to find out.

"Want it?" V pulled from my neck and asked, grabbing me down below. "I'll be gentle." She whispered, implying my little injuries would stop me from producing a grand performance.

This was my chance. It was either now or never. I pulled her back to me, placing my lips on hers. She didn't fight it, but I could tell she was shocked by the tension in her body. Finally, she relaxed, gently sliding her tongue into my mouth. I inhaled deeply, filling my nostrils with her perfumes. It immediately made me queasy. It wasn't foul or bad, but it wasn't my sweet Giselle. I clinched her ass hard. Her moans became nails on a chalkboard. I winced at the sound. I felt myself softening. It wasn't the same. She wasn't the same. What the hell did Giselle do to me? How could I no longer be able to enjoy a simple lay? How could the touch and moans and aroma of another woman make me so sick to my stomach?

"Fuck!"

Within a matter of seconds, I went full exorcist all over her. V screamed, jumping from my lap, mouth and eyes widened from the shock of my vomit all over her. I couldn't even look up at her, leaning down towards the floor thinking more was on the way. I wiped my mouth with the back of my arm.

"What the hell, Angel? Really?" I couldn't tell if she was just extremely pissed or about to cry.

"V, I'm sorry. I..."

"You, what? You finally kiss me and its so terrible that you fucking vomit all over me? You're such a douche bag."

Before I could apologize more or say anything to make it better, she was through the hall and in the bathroom. The shower turned on immediately and I let out a long sigh, throwing my head back on to the couch. It was then that I realized just how screwed I was. I loved her. I knew it. I felt it. I saw it.

AT THE CAFÉ THE NEXT DAY, I prayed she turned up missing. She had a habit of going M.I.A sometimes and this time needed to be one of them. I sat next to Loki, who was telling Jasmine, a chick he fooled around with from time to time, a story about how he smuggled drugs on his dad's private jet and got caught. Everyone was glued in on his every word as he approached the moral of the story.

"You mean to tell me, you shoved drugs up your ass, and they actually checked?" Jasmine laughed.

"Yeah. Security stuck her finger right up my hole and pulled out the little baggy." Loki laughed feverishly.

"God, dude. You're so sick." Zack chimed in.

"Come on, Zackie boy. You mean to tell me you never hid shit in your ass."

"Fuck no! Nothing is going up my ass."

"Nothing?" Loki winked.

Everyone exploded in laughter. I even huffed a bit. Loki could be one sick individual if you provided the space and opportunity.

"Look. All I'm saying is, the next time you're going in with a girl, have her put the tip of her finger in before you cum. You'll be on Jupiter in a millisecond.

"Star!" Max screamed. Interrupting Loki's foul advice. "Where have you been, my angel?"

Without turning my head, I cut my eyes to the side to watch her approach the table. The only seat available was the one right across from me. But of course, that was the case because, the way my luck ran, nothing would ever go the way I prayed it would.

"How are you feeling, Angel?" Her soft voice called out to me, cooing my name.

"Fabulous." I answered, not even looking up at her.

"Really?" I could hear the confusion in her voice, but couldn't bring myself to face her, still.

"I'm done. I have shit to do. I'll catch y'all later." I stood immediately, grabbing my things. I turned to face her, "You look beautiful today", I mumbled, and made my way out of the café. The silence of the table echoed through my body as I tried to convince myself I was doing what I needed to in order to survive. I couldn't afford emotional attachments. I couldn't afford to risk it all anymore. It was just a privilege I no longer had.

***Author's Words****

This chapter is shorter than the others. 

Continue to roam deeper through Angel's troubled thoughts.

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