Chapter 66

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There were five days left.

Five days until the next provisional license exam. My body and mind were practically pinning me down, telling me to heal before I went but I knew I had to go. Deku, Bakugo and Todoroki worked so hard with me to help me get that license. There was no way I could throw out all of their hard work.

But I was so drained from energy. I could barely get up let alone eat. Speaking of eating, Deku was instructed to take care of me from who I assumed to be Aizawa but since our little conflict we had we both kept quiet; with Deku trying to make small talk here and there, but eventually giving up.

The next day was the same as the previous one, and so was the day after that; grey and lifeless. On the day before the scheduled provisional license, Deku slid a paper underneath my door saying that there was another funeral that was in the gym, this time for Todoroki. I was too exhausted and depressed to go, and I didn't want to face anything that reminded me of him.

After the funeral Deku came right away. The spoon clinked against the plate as he sighed. I had my back against the wall as I stared out the window, the weather in sync with my emotions as pouring rain and dark clouds took over the outside world. "(Y/N), you wouldn't eat your breakfast and now you won't eat your lunch. Please eat, I made this soup for you."

It was as if I didn't even hear him, but I didn't care as everything tasted like nothing; flavourless. He reached out and took a hold of my hand, circling his thumb on my knuckles in an attempt to comfort me.

That small gesture triggered something inside of me, and so to get my mind off of it I asked him a question. "Deku, do you forgive me? For what I said to you?

He was caught off guard and stammered out his next words, unsure of how to approach this sudden change. "I-I'm okay. I understand why you said those things, and I'm sure you didn't m-mean it... right? I'm going, to be honest (Y/N), it's been hurting me; a lot."

He had my attention, and I pried my eyes away from the window. When I saw his nervous and innocent self I couldn't help but giggle, which confused him.

"Don't look at things that hurt you, look at things that you love. But what if the thing that hurts you is the thing you love? What do you do then?"

Deku leaned closer, "(Y/N)? Are you okay?"

I took a deep breath which felt like it passed through my lungs in a refreshing manner. "Mind my babbling... I'm a bit tired is all."

"Oh, then if that's the case I'll come back, okay?" My hand dove for his wrist and gripped it tightly.

"Don't go. Please. Stay and talk to me." Eyes filled with pity, he got himself comfortable back to where he was. "To answer your question... yes. I didn't mean any of that, I was in a panic and frenzy, that's all. I'm sorry Deku, it's just that I was so scared and worried and-" He cut me off with a hug, burying his head in my shoulder, wisps of his green hair tickled my skin.

His chest heaved as all of his pent up emotions just poured out, relieved that he could "Thank you (Y/N)... I'm sorry I couldn't be a better person for you. I'll try harder, I promise. I told you that you're my hero, but this time... this time I'll be your hero. I'll save you (Y/N)."

His words struck a chord within me, and I gripped his shirt as my tears soaked his shoulder. It was comforting and made me feel a little bit better. I twirled a finger around a green strand of hair, cherishing his presence. "Deku... you're not going to leave me like Bakugo and Todoroki, right?"

His body stiffened, and he slowly pulled away with an innocent smile. "(Y/N), Kacchan and Todoroki never left," I was puzzled until he pointed a finger at my chest, "they're with you, always. They're smiling from above and watching you, knowing that you grew with their love. So don't cry anymore, lift your chin. You're going to be okay."

Tears immediately welled in my eyes and I leapt at Deku with full force, knocking him back on the bed. "I love you Deku, I really do." Now I was the one nuzzling my head into the nook of his collarbone, taking in his scent.

He pat my head let out a shaky breath. "I love you too, (Y/N)."

***

I still felt like crap, but Deku's words made me feel better. I had to try and make the most of everything that I got, even if it hurts me.

A trusted teacher of U.A. was driving Deku and me to the exam (After hours of begging Aizawa, he allowed Deku to company me), and it was silent other than the sound of soft rain.

I had my head on Deku's shoulder, dozing off from another restless night. It wasn't my choice to stay up late, but lately, I've been having constant nightmares of Bakugo's death and Todoroki's too. I couldn't tell Deku because he already has so much on his mind, and I didn't really feel comfortable speaking to anyone else.

It wasn't until this morning did I realize that Todoroki's death affected him just as much as it affected me, but he was stronger than me. He had the ability to dust himself off and keep going, continue living. I didn't.

Useless. Pathetic. Worthless... Quirkless.

"(Y/N), are you okay?" I nodded, hiding the wince on my face. A headache that felt like it would split my skull in half started nagging at me, but I pinched myself to get my mind off the pain.

The car rolled to a stop and our escort swung the door open for us, Deku gesturing for me to step out first. I tightened my jacket around me and took in the size of the stadium, a sudden wave of nausea made my knees weak and brought a heat flash through my body.

Deku's hand rested on my shoulder. "I think we should postpone this, you look kind of ill-"

I cut him off with a tone of sudden determination. "No, I can do it. Come on, let's go."

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