It took a while before I was found and I didn't resist as they scooped me up with care off of the concrete floor, other heroes around with medical supplies and extra security as we left the building and back to the dorm.

It wasn't until I was back in my room did I realize that Todoroki was the one who carried me, and even then the emptiness in my eyes didn't fade. He sat on the edge of my bed, watching as I shifted slowly and brought my covers up and over my head. He didn't say anything or move, only watched as I lay there with an almost lifeless demeanour.

Minutes passed before I parted my lips and spoke my heavy thoughts, "Todoroki... why did Bakugo die?" I asked it clear enough to be heard from behind the covers, but he hesitated and thought about his answer.

"(Y/N)... calling yourself a hero and being a hero are two completely different things. Heroes sacrifice themselves to protect things or people they love, and I'm sure Bakugo did that for you. He was a hero for you, (Y/N)." I gripped the cloth with all my strength as tears pricked my eyes, then silently slid down my burning cheeks.

"But he-he didn't have to die. He didn't have to be a hero, he was fine just the way he was. I-I want to see him again. I want to- I want to kill Keres, I want to make him pay for what he's done. I want to torture and-" My ranting stopped when Todoroki's hand was on my shoulder, and he moved closer to me for comfort.

"Take a deep breath, you're going off track. I know you're upset and I believe you need time for yourself. If you ever need to talk, Midoriya and I are here for you. But for now, I think you should get some rest and organize your thoughts. Make sure to grab a drink and get something to eat, alright? Well, goodnight my (Y/N)." I felt his weight leave the bed followed shortly by the sound of my door closing.

I sensed Todoroki and Deku speaking outside, concern lacing their voices. "Is-is she okay? Does she need anything? A hug? Food?" Deku asked, stepping closer to the door.

"She needs time for herself. I think you should visit her later, maybe she'll cheer up a little. But for now, we should think about this too. Bakugo was our classmate and friend, after all, this is hard to comprehend." Deku let out a sad grunt, his footsteps following Todoroki's as they led away from the door.

I figured I should sleep and that was easy to do since my eyes fluttered shut, a few more tears leaving my eyes as I slipped into unconsciousness.

***

I jolted awake in a cold sweat, the same nightmare of Bakugo dug deep into my mind with the heavy feeling of grief weighing down on my chest. I wanted to feel him one more time, hug him one more time, cherish him one more time.

But he was gone. Dead.

I took a look at the clock on my nightstand, a speck of surprise at the time. It was already mid-day and usually, I'd be awake much earlier. I figured it'd be best to get a glass of cold water, and swung my legs over the edge of my bed. My feet were cold and shaking, but I did my best to ignore it and stand. I wobbled a little at first but pressed my hand on the wall for support.

My vision was strangely fuzzy as if someone put a clear wrap around my eyes. As soon as I got to the middle of the hallway my vision instantly became clearer and brighter for some odd reason.

"(Y/N)" I immediately whipped my head around at the sound of Bakugo's voice, only to find nobody there. The flash of hope instantly died down, along with my vision that returned to its odd state. My imagination was only playing with me; Bakugo wasn't really there.

My heart felt like cold hands were wrapped around and squeezed the life out of it, so I gripped the collar of my shirt in pain. I pushed myself to get to the kitchen, and thankfully no one was there to see my pathetic state as I gulped down my water and stumbled back to my room.

My throat began to close up and I pressed my palms into the dresser, rocking back and forth on my heels as the tears burned my eyes again. I didn't dare glance up and look at myself, because I believed that it was partly my fault. I could have analyzed the situation and it risks again and convinced him to back out of it, I could have made sure that the pro heroes were the ones to die instead of Bakugo, I could have done so many things...

'Yes, it's all your fault (Y/N). Bakugo would have survived if it wasn't for you.' I silently agreed with the little voice, the weight in my chest growing heavier and I couldn't take it anymore. Pressing my back against the dresser I slid down and brought my knees to my chest, burying my head in my arms.

"Y-yes... it's all my fault. Bakugo shouldn't have been with me. It's all my fault." I whispered, repeating that phrase and imprinting it in my mind.

'Your fault, your fault, your fault.' The little voice whispered, its tone menacing as the mental exhaustion finally caught up to me and knocked me out into a nightmarish slumber.