Chapter 8.1: Brett

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I turn into the carpark, and thank goodness there are plenty of parking spots because I absolutely hate looking for parking. The wind is light and airy, gently brushing against my face, and the crisp yellow-orange leaves are dancing in the air, slowly drifting onto the gray asphalt. Collie would really like this. I imagine proposing to her like this, just dropping on one knee while being surrounded by fallen flora and leaves. Maybe not autumn leaves, but Japanese cherry blossoms. We'd be alone in a park filled with the most delicate, baby pink flowers, and we'd walk along the stone paths. I'd then ask her to look away for just a second, and when she looks back, I'd be on one knee, beaming up at her while holding a little black box while cherry blossoms fly around us, and our vision rose-tinted. She'd say yes, and... well, I haven't really thought about my dream wedding, but honestly speaking, any wedding with her as the bride would be my dream wedding. My bride, of course. A sharp pain runs through my heart as I'm reminded of Wallace's plan. I've been rather bothered by it, and my eyes seem to trail to her ring finger every time we met for the wedding rehearsals. Thank goodness he hasn't proposed yet.

"Hey Brett," Max greets as I walk into dressing room 3.

"Hey groom-to-be, how are you feeling right now?" I ask.

If it was my wedding day, I would be so excited. To take Colette as my wife, to have and to hold forever, that's the dream. Even though it'll never happen now, at least I'll have a taste of it later, when we walk down the aisle together. I'm honestly still feeling very conflicted to whether I should shoot my shot with her. She's about to get engaged, and she loves him. If I really love her, I should just let her go, or the only one getting hurt in the end will be me, wouldn't it? I have no idea what I should do about this whole situation, but she probably wouldn't even consider dating me, let alone give up her happiness and future family for me, right? I think back to the vision that I had a while back, with Colette and our kids. I really, truly, desperately want that, but I honestly have no idea if it's too late, and I have no idea if she'd accept my feelings for her. There are so many uncertainties that I would just love to delve into her brain and see what she thinks of this. At least finding out that she would reject me would hurt less than her actually saying it to my face.

"I'm not going to lie, I'm actually feeling really nervous about this entire wedding thing," he sighs.

Second thoughts, they're not that unusual to have before weddings, so I've been told. The thing is, they've been dating for 2 years, and even though they're not the couple that everyone pays attention to because everyone thought they would break it off again, they lasted for 2 years, and they dated for 6 before that, so I thought that when he proposed, he'd be ready for commitment. Maybe it's because this whole thing has been a whirlwind, and that planning a wedding in 5 months and telling everybody else in 3 didn't give him enough time to adjust.

"Don't worry about it, you're going to be a great husband," I pat him on his back. He really will be. You can see the love in his and Joanna's eyes when they're together. It's even stronger than what Colette and Wallace has, not that I'm finding fault with that.

"But what if we break it off again? What if we have kids when we break it off? What if we have kids?" He shoves his face in his hands.

"Damn it, you're going to be a wonderful father, and a wonderful husband, and the love you two have is true, so don't doubt yourself," Eddy jumps in. Soon, a crowd of groomsmen crowds around Max in an attempt to comfort him.

"Marrying her is like having a girlfriend forever."

"Frankly, she's your best shot."

"You have to tie her down before someone else cam."

"It's true love."

"You love kids, don't you?"

"You get to sleep with someone not from a bar."

Everyone nods in agreement with the last one, and I can't help but feel like it's a little pathetic.

Someone knocks on the door, and I think it's an attendant for our suits.

"Come in", someone yells out.

No one really focuses on whoever the person is, because making sure Max feels better and is ready to step out onto the chapel is our top prioroity

  "Hey Brett?" Collie's voice calls out. It can't be her, she's with the bridesmaids. I turn around to make sure it's her, and instead, I'm greeted by the most beautiful... fairy. Her flowy locks are held up by a pink flower crown, and she's wearing a pink dress that skims the floor, pearls adorning the bodice. She walks closer, and a delicate scent of peaches and roses flood my system. I can get high from this, sniffing this day and night.

  "Hey Colette, what's u... wow, you... you..." I manage to force out of my mouth. My palms are getting sweaty, and I stealthily wipe them on my shirt. At least it's not my tux. My mouth is so dry that it's positively desert-like. I think I might have forgotten how to enunciate, and all that's coming out of my mouth are these soft, growling noises.

  "Yeah?" she asks, stepping closer. My heart is beating out of my chest.

  "You look gorgeous," I finally say after what feels like a thousand years of staring.

  "Thank you," a smile fills her face, making her even more stunning, if possible.

She squats down and holds Max's hand.

  "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" She asks.

  "Colette, you're here," he acknowledges her.

  "I'm here for you, what's wrong?" the ends of her lips curve to form the most alluring and charming smile.

  She starts talking to him, and I just space out. It's not that I don't care about what she's saying, it's that I'm savoring every moment I can see her, when she's still single. She's like a mother, gently encouraging and helping Max get past his fears. It's just like how I fantasized it to be, for her to be a caring and loving mother to our kids, but I guess that won't be happening any time soon, or ever.

  "Brett... Hey Brett," Max snaps his fingers in my face, and I'm snapped out of my reverie.

  "What?" I ask, slightly annoyed.

  "She's gone."

  And I can't help but think of the double meanings of the two words.

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