Remember how I said that I didn't have the guts to date Brett because my friend told me about the heartbreaking truth behind dating your best friend? Yes, Max and Joanna. Guess what? They're getting married. How ironic. I thought they were together just for a fling, and he actually proposed. Then again, what kind of fling lasts for two whole years, a whole year after I've been with Wallace. Finding your second best option, and only knowing that your first option would have been a happily ever after. Imagine my shock when I received my invite in the mail. How did no one know Max proposed? I'm Joanna's close friend for goodness sake. Why didn't they choose to tell anyone? Was it because everyone thought the two of them getting back together was a bad idea?

My phone rings, and I rush to pick it up. It's Joanna.

"Hey Jo, what's up?" I ask.

"Hey Colette, I kind of have a question," she asks.

"Shoot," I answer while trying to detangle this knot from my hair.

"I know this is very sudden, but would you like to be my bridesmaid?" She asks excitedly.

My hand flops and smacks onto the sofa. There are very little joys in this world, and one of them is being asked to be part of a wedding.

"Yes! Yes! Of course, sweetie!" I squeal into the phone, and she squeals back.

"Great, now would you mind telling me if you're bringing a plus-one?" She asks.

"Of course, I... I actually haven't decided yet. Can I call you back?" I ask.

"Sure!" She exclaims.

We both hang up. Well, I'm happy for her. Even though we all seen them crash and break down when they broke up, at least they're happy together, and I get to see one of my good friends settle down before I... No, that's too grim, especially for a wedding. Now, to call Wallace and ask if he's free on that day.

I go to my contacts, but my finger hovers over the call button. I'm not sure if I want to bring him. I really have no idea. I definitely don't want him to get the wrong idea, that I want him to propose, but he's my boyfriend, and if I don't bring him, people are gonna think we broke up, not that it isn't good to get a head start. I just... really haven't decided yet. Maybe I should just hold off from deciding. I should ask Brett, maybe he'll go with me. No, Brett will probably bring Diana since they're dating, and they don't actually seem like they will be breaking up any time soon, even though they're obviously and terribly incompatible. But before my brain could register anything, my fingers already moved to Brett's contact, and I have already pressed the call button. He picks up right after I dial, so there's not much time to back out of the call, is there?

"Hello? Colette?" He says.

"Hey Brett, I was um... just wondering if you got the invite to Max and Jo's wedding?" I ask.

"Yeah, actually. Max asked me to be one of his groomsmen, and he told me Jo asked you to be a bridesmaid, did she?" He asks.

"Yeah, so you're part of the wedding too?" I ask.

"I guess. So, are you going to bring anyone to the wedding?" He asks, and I know he's talking about Wallace.

"Well, I'm not sure, and I don't think so. He might be busy that day, so chances are he couldn't have made it anyway," I say into the receiver.

"Well, how about we take each other, since we're already part of the wedding?" He asks.

That would be so amazing. Wonderful. Wait.

"What about Diana?" I ask.

"I... erm... she's busy that day," he sighs.

"Oh, well, okay then, let's take each other!" I secretly smile behind the phone. We're going to be bridesmaid and groomsman together. That's really, really exciting.

"Okay!" Brett replies.

"Hey Col, a friend's trying to call me, so I'm gonna hang up right now, okay?" He asks.

"Bye!" I answer cheerily.

Why am I so exited about this?

"Is it because you can pretend that it's your dream wedding with Brett?" A little voice in my head speaks.

Well, yes. That's exactly why. I know I'll never marry Brett, because asking him to be my one, true love is too... selfish. I should let him be free to love whoever he wants, even if the lucky girl isn't me. But, please, at least let me have this selfish little moment before I can't never feel it ever again? A sense of deja vu floods me.

"Hey, you kids should totally get married," I laugh. Max and Joanna are so in love, they're positively meant to be.

"Yeah, right. We'll get married when you and Brett start going out," Max retorts.

I turn to look at Brett, and we have the same look of disgust on our faces.

"Ew!" We chorus, even though secretly, in this tiny little box that I locked all of my feelings in, I would really like to date him, or kiss him, or even just hold his hand. Even though we hug all the time, every hug just brings me that jolt of exhilaration, even till today, when I have Wallace. Nothing will every compare.

"I don't think I can every fathom dating this one," he teases.

"And this 'one'," I put in air quotes, "calls me 'this one', so I don't think I can date someone like him. Honey, if you want to marry me, show me some respect at least," I joke.

"Yes, ma'am," he mock salutes, and I do the why-are-you-hitting-yourself thing to him. He stops me by holding my arms above my head, and ever so lightly brush his lips against my forehead.

"This bitch," he whispers, and I feel a shudder run through my body.

I know it's an accident, but goodness, what I would give to feel that again. Well I did, briefly, when Max took our picture a year later for a performance, but of course it was an accident again. How I wish I could just grab his face and plant a kiss on those soft, plump lips. But alas, we're attached. So deeply attached. To other people now.

I pick up my phone, and I scroll to Wallace's contact, a rush of adrenaline and determination going through me.

"Hey Wallace?" I say.

"Hi baby cakes, what's going on?" He asks.

"I kind of need to talk to you, so can you come over to my house? Now?" I say urgently.

"I... of course, but I'm kind of doing something right now, so I may need a little bit of time, is that okay?" He says nervously.

"Of course," I reply.

I hang up the phone shakily.

Deep breaths, Colette. Deep breaths.