I drive to this diner place that y/n really likes. She likes anything old, maybe that's why she's dating Wallace. Huh.

"Can we change the music? I'm tired of listening to classical music all day at work, can we listen to some pop music?" Diana asks.

I sigh. Y/n loves the music that I play.

"Fine," I hold my tongue.

She changes the channel to the radio, and some kind of rap fills the car. I'm not a huge fan.

"I'm so hungry," she groans.

"We'll be there soon," I sigh.

"How long more?" She asks.

"About five minutes," I reply.

"Can you hear my stomach growl?" She moans.

"I can't hear anything. Look, why don't you get something other than a salad today?" I suggest.

"But I'm on a diet!" She exclaims.

She's skin and bones. Does she want to be just skin or just bones?

I turn the music up to stop her whining, and thank goodness she got the hint.

I slide into the parking spot, and we walk into the restaurant. She keeps trying to link arms, and I'm not a fan of it. Doing it with her, I mean. I'd do it with anyone other than her. Her cold, cotton wool body doesn't feel the most comfortable to link with.

I see someone waving to us, and it's Wallace and Colette. Colette. Great. I haven't seen her in so long. She sure is a sight for sore eyes. I was just regretting my phone call this morning. We walk over to their table, and just when I thought I could sit next to y/n and feel her warmth radiating off her being, Wallace sits next to her. Great. I let Diana sit inside the booth, and I kind of regret it, because now I'm facing Wallace, the guy who ruined my life. I look at Collie, and she stares back at me. Her eyes are sparkling.

  Diana clears her throat, and I look down, then back up at them.

"Wallace, this is Diana, my girlfriend," I introduce.

"This is Wallace, he's Colette's boyfriend," I look over at y/n, and she looks dazed. I hope she's okay.

"Please excuse me," Collie says as she slides out of the booth and runs off to the bathroom. Wallace sits back down.

"I think I'll go check on her," y/e/n smiles, but I worry for Collie. I stand up and she slides out of the booth. I sit back down and Wallace smiles at me.

"So, you're Colette's best friend, huh," he says.

"Yeah," I nod. This is kind of awkward.

"I kind of have a favor to ask," he scratches the nape of his neck.

"What's up?" Gosh, I hope it isn't something like "Stay away from my girlfriend, you have your own, jerk!"

"I... I... can I have your number instead? I'm not sure when it's gonna happen," he smiles.

"Sure, what's it about?" I ask curiously.

"Nothing big, just some little project that I'm working on," he hands me his phone.

I punch in my number.

"Oh, and don't tell her that I asked you for your number," he warns.

"Okay..." That was weird.

  Collie returns and she slides into the booth. Wallace snakes his arm around her and kisses her on the temple. It's disgusting. I should be the one doing it to her.

  "Are you okay, baby?" He asks her and I just want to gag.

  "Yeah, I'm fine," she smiles at him. I can't believe she likes it. Sure Brett, girls hate it when guys hold and kiss them.

They both share a moment, and I feel beyond grossed out. Diana soon returns, and the waitress comes by to take our order. She returns in about 5 minutes to give Diana her salad, and she just starts eating away, without saying excuse me, or asking if she could dig in. We all look at her eat her salad like an unattractive, something or other, like an insect.

The waitress comes by and she serves the rest of us our food. Wallace twirls some of his spaghetti and places it on Collie's plate, while y/n scoops her macaroni on his plate, and I'm here, writhing with jealously because my date's an actual praying mantis. I think Diana's kind of jealous too, so she starts eating my fries, but I think she got too into it, because she gobbled down at least half of them. I told her if she was hungry, she should get something other than a salad. The first few were a good fireback to the two of them, but it kind of got a little annoying afterwards. She isn't even touching her salad now, just going at it with my fries. It's not like I'm hungry or whatever, but it just kind of bothers me that she didn't even ask.

  "Waitress! Can we get another order of fries?" I call out to the waitress.

  The waitress brings a large basket of fries and I place it in front of her.

"If you were hungry, you should have gotten some other food," I scold her gently.

I can feel Wallace and I holding in their laughs. Great. Collie snorts slightly, and she comes on her water. She covers her mouth with a napkin while trying to cough the water out, and Wallace performed the heimlich manoeuver on her. I could have done that if I was sitting next to her. Wait, why am I jealous? He was saving her life!

  "Are you okay now, baby cakes?" He asks as he helps her to her seat.

  "Yeah, are you okay Collie?" I ask, hoping that she's all okay.

  "I'm fine, thank you," she whimpers.

  I down some water, and I manage to function again. I grab the jug, because I want to help her refill her cup, but Wallace seems to have the same thought, and he grabs onto the jug, neither of us letting go.

  Diana starts whining, but I don't pay attention to it, and I continue wrestling Wallace for the jug.

  "Sweetums!" Diana shouts, and it hurts my ears. Dogs probably started barking.

  "Are you talking to me?" I ask. She's never called me anything other than Brett before.

  "Does it look like I'm dating the other two?" She says snarkily. And not even the good snark that Collie has.

  "Here's your water, Diana," I fill her glass up.

  "Thank you sweetums," she kisses me on the cheek, her lip gloss gets all over my left cheek. I look over at those two, and they share the same look: cringing.

  "You're welcome, Diana," I smile as I casually wipe away the gloss, but it ends up getting all over the place. And now my face is sticky and colored. Great.

  We finish up our lunch, and the waitress gives us our tab. We agreed to split it four way, but Wallace pays for the both of them, and this probably means that I would have to pay for Diana. It's not that I mind, because I can definitely afford it, but I'd rather pay for Collie.

  We leave the diner, and I feel obligated to apologize for Diana's behavior.

  "I'm just gonna go thank them for their company, why don't you go start the car?" I throw her the keys.

  They were just about to get into their Uber.

  "I just wanted to apologize for Diana's behavior. She's just..." I actually don't know how to complete the sentence.

  "Young?" Collie states.

  Wallace punches her shoulder and I look at him in shock. "Baby cakes, don't be rude." He can't hurt her like this.

  "Nope, she's right," I sigh.

  "You're doing fine, dad," She teases.

  The driver gets a little cranky, so they get on the Uber.

  "Bye," they wave to me and Diana.

  Who am I kidding? They're perfect for each other. They even wave in unison. I'll never be good enough for her.

  I walk back to my car and see Diana struggling.

  "You haven't started the car?" I ask.

  "I don't drive," she replies, nonchalant.

  I sigh and start the car while she gets into her seat.

  "So, where are we going, daddy?" She says seductively, but all I can think about is being her dad.

  I'm dating a ten year old.