Mature language in this one
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  "Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the bride and groom's first dance. Now to celebrate their many years of love together, 18 by One Direction," the lead singer announces and everyone cheers. Max and Jo take their place in the middle of the dance floor while Brett and I scoot over to the side. This is supposed to be Max and Joanna's special dance, but it feels like this song was played for just the two of us. The room clears out and suddenly we're all alone and standing in the spotlight. I slide my arms around his neck as he plants his on my waist, pulling me in closer. There's no talking between the both of us, just gentle swaying and smiling.

  "I have loved you since we were eighteen, long before we both thought the same thing."

  I've never actually had a chance to look at him up close like this before, so I take time to admire each of his features. His intense, deep brown chocolate-chip eyes behind those black glasses, the tiny fleck of black on his sclera. I wonder where that came from. His nose, cute as a button. His lips, they're so pink and supple, as if they were tinted by Sakura blossoms. I could just reach over right now, pull him in, close my eyes, and sneak a little taste of those gorgeous, pillowy tufts. His features, they compliment each other so well, and together, they form this man, this man that damn well knows how to draw me in, like a nail to a magnet.

  "All I can do is say that these arms are made for holding you. I wanna love like you made me feel, when we were eighteen."

  He twirls me around and I crash into his firm chest. Why is this moment so perfect? The music is just right for the both of us right now. He's just the right height for me to hold on to him, and I fit right in the circle of his arms. It's just so, so damn right. It's like we're practically built for each other. I look up at him, and he looks away immediately, as if he's been staring at me too. I wonder if he's thinking of the same thing that I'm thinking about. He pulls me in tighter, and a kernel of hope pops up, because it actually feels like he's enjoying this.

  "Okay, so this next song is 'All Out Of Love' by Air Supply and it goes out to all the lovers and couples out there," the singer announces.

  "I'm lying alone with my head on the phone, thinking of you till it hurts," the singer's buttery-smooth voice plays through the sound system.

  I immediately think back to yesterday night. I've just been staring my my screen all night until I fell asleep. Since the breakup, I've changed my wallpaper to the one of me and Brett at the concert, with the so-called wedding attire. Not like Diana would see it, right? I may or may not have teared up a little, just because I was thinking of him a little too much. 

  Honestly, there just isn't a day I don't regret dating Wallace. Sure, he's nice and all, but there's something missing. He's just... he's just not Brett. He's not my best friend in the world. He's not the guy that made me laugh when I'm upset. He's rarely present, always abroad, work-oriented, and I'm not sure that even without this disease, I'd still be dating someone like him. He'll always be a good friend, but he's just not made for me. I want someone who'll always be there for me, no matter how busy they are, or who they're with, like... Brett.

  "I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you. I know you were right, believing for so long. I'm all out of love, what am I without you? I can't be too late, to say that I was so wrong."

  But it is too late, isn't it? He's happily together with another woman. He even brought her to my favorite diner, as if he was trying to flaunt the fact that I'll never have him.. He loves her and I, of all people, should know that. I'm his best friend, I shouldn't be so selfish, right? The way that he looked at her, you could see the love in his eyes. It wasn't a deep love, it was subtle but it was still there, nonetheless. It feels like he's actually happy and doing well now. He wouldn't be happy with someone like me anyway, needy and dependent. 

  Plus, if we were to date and break up, it would just mean that we'd each lose our best friend. I can't let that happen. I love him too much to let him go. 

  Oh, the irony in that. 

  This is exactly why friends don't date. But then again, there's the happy couple in the middle of the dance floor right now, dancing and laughing. They've been together for years, and being apart for that one year seems to have made them love each other even more. We can have that too, but the chances of that are low, real low.

  The song ends, and people start heading back to their seats. Brett lets go of me gently, but my hands stay firmly planted at the nape of his neck.

  "You want to continue?" He asks.

  "Why not, right? It's not every day that we can do this," I smile.

  His arms pull me in again, this time even closer, so I'm almost pressed up against his body. I can smell the light, faded fragrance of his cologne. I got this for his birthday last year. It's April now, I can't believe he's still wearing it.

  "So many nights, I sit by the window, waiting for someone to sing me her song."

  'You Light Up My Life' sounds like a quintessential wedding dance song. Brett doesn't really know these songs because they're a little mainstream, but he looks like he's enjoying himself, with us holding each other in a prolonged hug. I haven't hugged him in so long. His warmth practically radiates off him, and I can feel it even though I'm not pressed up against him.

"And you light up my life, you give me hope to carry on. You light up my days, and fill my nights with song."

  I really want to tell him how I feel right now. It's so perfect right now. We're dancing to a slow song, the lights are dimmed and the room is romantically lit, and it's practically just me and him dancing right now, silently in a little corner. His eyes, they're staring into the depths of my being, and I'm being torn apart right now, melting into a little puddle of temporary but extreme happiness. I like this. It's just us against the world right now.

  "It can't be wrong, when it feels so right, cause you, you light up my life."

  I wish I could say that this lyric was right. I really, truly, miserably do. I wish I could just lean in and kiss him right now, and take him home, talk all night, wake up next to him tomorrow morning, and do it over and over again for the rest of our lives. I wish I could just tell him that I love him, more than I love life itself, and that I'm willing to give it up for him, no strings attached. But at the same time, I don't want him to live with the guilt. He can never know that I have this disease. I'll have to make sure of it.

  "Are you tired?" He asks.

  "No, you?"

  He shakes his head and smiles, pulling me in so close that my head is pressed right up against his firm chest. I can hear his heartbeat, it's steady and constant and comforting. I just hope that he can't feel mine, because my heart's thumping so wildly that it's about to escape me. I've never been so close to him for such a long period of time, not even when we hug. I can feel my lungs about to explode with petals, and it's rising up my throat rapidly right now, as if it's saying "Kiss him, fool!" I mean, I already know that it's not going to do anything to save me since he doesn't love me back, but if I had the chance to just taste them before I'm gone, I'd be more than contented.

  The keyboard player plays a magical, tinkly tune, and I recognize this song immediately. I was obsessed with this movie, 'Enchanted', and the ballroom scene was so romantic, because it was then that they knew they loved each other, and yet, they were forced apart by their circumstances. It was so heart-wrenching to watch them separate and join their partners. How sickening is it that I'm so attracted to things that parallels real life? Well, unlike the female lead, I'm going to dance the night away with Brett, because I already know that my ending wouldn't be a happy one, and I have accepted that. I close my eyes, gently savoring this beautiful moment.

  "You're in my arms, and all the world is gone. The music playing on, for only two," the singer's voice plays through the speakers.

  "So close, together, and when I'm with you, so close to feeling alive."

  My eyes gently flutter open. Brett's singing along to the song softly, just like Patrick Dempsey did in the movie. His voice is so deep and smooth, and I can just listen to him for hours and hours.

  "You know this song?" I say as I nuzzle my head into his chest.

  "Of course, it's from your favorite movie, isn't it?" I can feel his chest vibrate as he speaks. It's so comforting.

  A tear rolls down from my eye, leaving a dark splotch on his suit. He's so thoughtful, he remembered my favorite movie, even though I only brought it up once or twice, and we never did watch it together. He learnt the song for me, and it feels like something that only he would do. This has got to be one of the reasons why I'm in love with him.

  And it just makes it all the harder to know that I'll be leaving him very soon.

  "And now, forever I know, all that I want is to hold you so close."

  "So close, to reaching that famous happy end. Almost believing, this one's not pretend."

  "Now, you're beside me, look how far we've come. So far, we are so close."

  "Oh, how could I face the faceless days, if I should lose you now?"

  Another tear rolls down my cheek. I know it's only a lyric, but that psychotic, overthinking part of me keeps telling me that what he's singing right now, it's what he's actually feeling inside. No matter how hard I try to quash that voice, I just can't. It's as if it's his voice, and he's talking to me, telling me that he loves me too. Don't be silly, Colette. He doesn't love you, and he never will. You're just going to be friends for life, there's nothing else to it. Snap out of it.

  "We're so close to reaching that famous happy end. Almost believing this one's not pretend. Let's go on dreaming, though we know we are so close, so close, and still so far."

  I can hear him choke up a little, or maybe his voice just broke. But that, that was so beautiful. So perfectly surreal. How I could just reach up on my tippy toes, and just slowly plant my lips on his, gently and lightly at first, and then deepening it with each passing second, until our souls touch. But, thinking about how many people have done that with him, or who, rather, it breaks my heart. He's Diana's, not mine, and he never will be. 

  Slowly, the room fills back up with people, and it's not just the two of us anymore. Reality is starting to set in. We're not together, and we never, ever will be. He's not going to be there to kiss me at midnight and break this spell. He's not going to be my Prince Charming. This isn't a fucking Disney movie. No one's going to live happily ever after, not me at least. He's going to be Diana's boyfriend, whether I like it or not. He's going to be someone else's husband, and possibly even father. And I'll just be Aunt Colette, not Mom. Maybe I won't even be around to meet them. Maybe the huge crush I have on their dad would stop me from it. This is hilarious. I can't stop fucking laughing at the sheer irony. 

  The fact that I love him so much that I'm not willing to confess my strong, undying love, which again, ironically, is causing me to die, because what if he doesn't feel the same damn way, and I lose him forever. Well, either way I lose him forever, you'd think I'm stupid to not take the chance, right? Well, guess what? 

  I'm a wimpy, gutless rat and I can't confess to him because I'm afraid that I'll lose everything. But the fact that I'm dying doesn't mean I'd lose everything?

  How laughable. 

  I'm a stupid, stupid woman. Why did I make him my everything? Why couldn't I have controlled myself and resisted the urge to fall for him? It's not his damn fault that he's so perfect, it's mine for being so weak. I'm trapped in my own little mind game and I hate myself so much for it.

  I look back up at his big, beautiful eyes, and they're a little red, like he's been crying.

  "What's the matter?" I ask, holding his face.

  "I'm tired," he yawns.

  Well, that might explain the bloodshot eyes.

  "Me too," I smile bitterly. I'm so tired of this bullshit. Can't I just wake up the next morning without this disease, and continue my life of having a crush on him until the end of time while I watch as a woman, who's not me, make him happier than I can ever make him? Hilarious. I'm going to cry.

  "Do you want to head back?"

  "Sure."

  He lets go of me gently, even though I don't really want him to, and I guess it's my cue to let go too, physically and emotionally. I take a last whiff of his cologne, and I let my arms fall back to my side. I'm all alone, disconnected. A cough escapes me, and a single flower petal fall into my hands. It's tinted red with blood. It's been getting worse and worse, especially when I'm close to Brett. It's as if it's trying to tell me to do something about it. I grip it tightly in my cold hands, all the way until we reach our table.

  "Wow, dancing the night away, huh?" Joanna teases.

  I didn't actually think we were dancing for the entire night, but people are actually leaving, and the band's starting to play more mellow songs, signaling the end of their act. I look at my phone, and it's 9, which meant that we were actually dancing for two whole hours. Time does really fly when you're with the people that you love, doesn't it?

  "I took a picture of you two," Jo whips out her phone. It's us, looking at each other lovingly while our arms wrap around one another. For once, I look pretty decent. I don't have eye bags or double chins or anything, and the dress and hair looks good. In fact, we look really cute together. Real couple vibes. He's got stars in his eyes, and we're smiling at each other. It just seems perfect. The background is blurred as the camera focuses on us, as it was meant to be.

  "Gosh, you two are staring so hard, why don't I send it to the both of you so you can go stare at your own time?" She teases. She taps a few buttons and our phones ping immediately.

  "You don't mind if I post it, do you?" I look up at him.

  "No, go ahead," he smiles warmly.

  And off it goes to Facebook, with a caption that says "Love you lots".

  "Let me send you home?"

  I look over at Wallace, who I was planning on sharing a cab with. He's leaving with Becky. Lucky guy. I guess leaving with Brett doesn't mean anything, but at least I get to spend a few more minutes alone with him before this little bubble of happiness we're in pops and real life resumes, and we can't see each other anymore.

  "So, what have you been up to?"