II. Chapter 18 | Aubree

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The next few days fell into a pattern. 

Stone, Gwen, Gunner, and Alistair left the house in the evening and came back in the morning. Sometimes, Stone joined her in bed after showering, and sometimes he stayed up for a few hours before going to bed. When that happened, Aubree was up, had breakfast, and joined him in his office. She would sit in the chair across from his desk and read a book, looking up occasionally to watch him work. He made a lot of calls, but she didn't understand a word he said because he spoke in another language. Sometimes he wore reading glasses when he did some paperwork, which gave him a completely different persona.

"This kind of work is straining on my eyes," he told her when she asked about it. "Reading glasses helps."

He'd been more cautious since her period started. Either that or the smell of her blood turned him off. He was more gentle and tender when he touched her. His kisses were sweet and chaste, as if he was afraid he would hurt her.

Everyone seemed more cautious around her, actually. It was embarrassing, like she had a bright red dot in the middle of her forehead that announced she was on her period.

It was also kind of funny. The guys were the most awkward, even more so than human guys when they found out a girl was on her period. They kept asking if she was in pain and if they could get her anything. She'd seen them all blushing and rubbing the backs of their necks with looks of worry, concern, or pure awkwardness like they wanted to do something but didn't know what.

Gwen and Rosemary were uncomfortable too, but not as much, and they got over it faster.

She spent a great chunk of time alone in the house while Stone and the others slept, and Gavin, Hector, and Rosemary were out. It wasn't until a few hours before the night crew headed out that she had some companionship for a few hours, followed by a few hours of time spent with Rosemary, Hector, and Gavin.

Aubree was okay with that. She needed some time to herself to reflect.

She called her parents to tell them the news. They didn't take it well, especially her mother. Aubree had to hang up on her and turn off her phone when she couldn't get her mother to listen to a word she said.

She mourned the ending of her relationship with Dan. Remembering all of the good times, along with the few arguments they had, had her curling up on one of the sofas in the living room, crying softly to herself.

She read through numerous texts and emails from both her mother, Brooke, and Dan. The messages from Dan were the hardest. Some were angry. Some were sad. All of them reflected his heartbroken state and she couldn't bring herself to respond to any of them. She'd start, but could never get past the first sentence.

All she could say was, I'm sorry.

She knew it was cruel to not answer, but when she couldn't tell him the truth, she didn't know what to say. It pained her to hurt him like this, but she didn't know what else to do.

He deserved more closure and, like a coward, she avoided confrontation.

Afterward, she would crawl into bed with Stone again and cuddle up to him. In his half-asleep state, he would nuzzle her neck and kiss her before sighing and drifting back to sleep.

She fell asleep often in his arms for a few hours. His warmth and peace soothed away the aches and eased the harsh thoughts that raged through her mind.

She struggled to sleep most nights. Waking up from nightmares involving vampires and other creatures that lurked in dark shadows that she could never see clearly. Or she would dream of Dan being killed by the vampire that nearly strangled her to death. She would wake up, drenched in sweat and gasping for air, and there was no one around to console her.

The morning after her period cleared, Stone came back late, around noon, immediately showered, and went to bed.

He held her close and nuzzled her hair. He sighed contently. "You smell normal now."

She smirked to herself. "Does that mean everyone will stop tip-toeing around me now?"

He nodded, his nose tickling the back of her neck and making her pull away with a giggle.

"Why did you come home so late?" she asked.

"Mhm. Meeting with Colten, Alpha of the North Fang Pack," he murmured. "You missed me?"

Heat rushed to her face. "Maybe."

"Mhm," was all he could manage to say before sleep took him and his breathing became heavy.

Truth was, she had missed him. She was becoming increasingly lonely with everyone either out or sleeping. With only a few hours of interaction between each coming and going, the periods of isolation were getting harder with each passing day. With only her thoughts to keep her company, the guilt and loneliness were beginning to eat away at her.

She wanted to spend more time with Stone but knew he was constantly busy to keep her safe.

Still, she couldn't help wondering if this was how her life would be from now on. Living one day at a time, watching the others coming and going while she remained locked behind closed doors?

While she cared for all of them more and more each day, she couldn't help but feel trapped within the house. It was her own personal prison and it only added to the mixture of emotions she was feeling regarding Dan, the family she would never have, and the life she gave up.

She looked up at Stone's sleeping face as her eyes welled with tears.

She wanted so much to love him.

Carefully, she slipped away from his arms and went down into the kitchen, where she stared out the sliding glass door and let her tears fall down her cheeks.

I want to love you.

She pressed her palm against the cool glass, then leaned her forehead against it as she closed her eyes.

She knew she had to talk to him. She didn't know what to say, or how to say it. She understood the varying degrees of danger her life was in, the players involved, and the possible outcomes that all contributed to her current way of life, but there had to be more than this?

A deep baritone voice interrupted her thoughts and made her jump. "Luna?"

She looked over her shoulder to see Gunner standing in the entryway to the kitchen wearing a pair of black workout shorts and nothing else.

"What?" She swiped at her hot cheeks, unfamiliar with the word he used.

"What troubles you?" he asked.

She shook her head, avoiding his question until she gained some clarification first. "What does luna mean?"

Her eyes danced around him, anything to avoid looking at his bulky bodybuilder bod.

"You are the alpha's mate. Luna is the title given to her," he said. "A pack is incomplete without her. Perhaps, I am being too hasty in addressing you in such a manner since you are unmated..."

He began reciting what sounded like a poem in another language. As he did, she forced her eyes to look at his face. While his gaze did not meet hers, she noted that of the other males, he was the only one who kept his face clean-shaven every time she'd seen him.

"Luna," he said before reverting back to English:

"A beacon of light
She shines down upon us
In the dark of night
To love and guide us."

He cleared his throat before he went to the cupboard and pulled out a glass and helped himself to the water dispenser from the fridge.

"Alpha is the head of the pack. Beta, the backbone. Gamma, the shoulders. Head Warrior," he gestured to himself, "the muscle. Omega, the feet. Luna," he paused and held her eyes with his pale blue ones for the first time, "she is the heart."

Aubree swallowed and looked away. There was an intensity in his gaze that further intimidated her. It was old and otherworldly and made her feel like he could see right through to her soul.

"How can I be a luna when I am not a lycan?" she asked in a soft voice.

"It matters not. The heart loves and guides. What is a body without a heart?"

Heat flooded Aubree's face as she twisted a lock of her hair around her fingers nervously.

"Um, would you," she hesitated, "would you mind joining me outside? I'd like some fresh air and I know Stone worries about my safety outside."

He frowned. "The property around the house is safe, especially during the day. Has he refused to let you go outside?"

Aubree looked up to meet his gaze in shock before averting it. "N-No, I just thought... The vampires..."

"They cannot tolerate direct sunlight. It burns them. It's not an instantaneous burst-into-flames ordeal, but it does burn them, and we patrol our land well," he said. "It is perfectly safe for you to go outside on your own right now, but I shall accompany you if you wish."

She nodded, feeling like an idiot. Of course, vampires had an aversion to sunlight. That made complete and total sense. She had kept herself indoors all week for virtually no reason at all, and she couldn't have felt more annoyed that no one had mentioned anything, or that she hadn't at least asked.

Sighing as she slid open the door, she stepped out into the warm, fresh air and inhaled deeply. The smell of earth, pine trees, and grass filled her senses as the sun warmed her skin.

Gunner followed her outside as she ambled across the lawn without any shoes or sandals on. She couldn't remember the last time she walked barefoot across a lush, green lawn. It had probably been years.

"He should have told me that I could still go outside," she said under her breath.

"Indeed," was all Gunner would add.

He followed a few paces behind her. With them was silence.

She took in the house from all angles. It was boxed-shaped with an L-shaped balcony on the top floor. There were a few limp tulip leaves poking out here and there among a garden that lined the outside of the house but otherwise, the garden was overgrown with weeds and grass from lack of care. Even the flowerpots on the patio outside the kitchen door were dry and barren.

As if following her train of thought, he cleared his throat. "We have been busier than usual this spring. Do you enjoy gardening?"

She shrugged. "I never really tried. We don't have much of a yard back home in Chicago."

"You should ask him. You two could use a project to do together."

"I don't know the first thing about gardening. I'll probably kill everything I touch."

She heard him chuckle—or was it a huff? It kind of sounded like a combination of the two. Either way, she glanced up at the six-foot tall man's face and saw a half-smirk tugging on his lips.

"I somehow doubt that. You have Adelaide's soul. She had a green thumb."

Humming in response, she thought back to what he had said about lunas in the kitchen. "If the luna is so important, then how did you all manage without one for so long?"

"Guinevere filled in the role as best as she could," he said. "It's not the same when the luna and alpha aren't mates, but she was their daughter and managed to keep us from tearing each other's throats out."

She raised her eyebrow at that as a shadow of a smirk graced his lips.

"She certainly kept Alpha on his toes all these years, along with Beta Alistair. You mustn't be too hard on him, but you'll have to be the one to push him. If you want something, you have to tell him. He can't read your mind, unfortunately."

"I can't read his either," she added.

He nodded. "All the more reason to speak honestly with him. If you don't speak up, he'll think nothing is wrong. If I may speak candidly, your tears earlier suggest something is wrong, or at least not right in your mind, am I correct?"

She stumbled as his words struck home.

He caught her pale, slender arm in his large rough one before she could hit the ground and she stared at it as he pulled her back up on her feet. His grip had been firm, and it almost hurt but wasn't enough to bruise.

While Gunner was a few inches shorter than Stone, his muscle mass far exceeded Stone's and made her feel even smaller and more pathetic next to him.

Tears sprang to her eyes. A mixture of humiliation at being caught crying, and shame for feeling ungrateful to everything and everyone, rendered her incapable of speaking. Lowering her head, she rubbed her arms as she held herself, even though it wasn't cold out.

"Thank you for catching me," she managed to utter. "And... for your company."

"The pleasure is mine, Luna."

They went back inside, Aubree to the sunroom and Gunner upstairs to his bed.

She thought about what he said. Although she already knew that she needed to talk to Stone, Gunner's validation gave her that little extra push to think about what to say and how to say it.

She gave up everything for him.

He had to be more considerate of her and her needs and wants as well.

Because if she didn't speak up for herself, who would?




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Dedicated to thatdeehagirl 

*Copyright Jo Lee Hunt (Joflower) 2016*

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