Jack was sent on a last minute errand while I helped his mom make the apple pie that's for dessert today. He asked if I was okay with staying and I have no issue being left alone with his mom. I feel a little guilty for wishing that my mom was more like her. Instead, it feels like mine is this robot that goes along with whatever my dad says.

"Thank you for helping me with this." Ms. Schultz smiles kindly at me over the island from where she's peeling apples.

I'm working on cutting the leftover dough from the crust into strips to go on top of the pie.

"It's no problem, I'm happy to help." I return the smile easily.

"I was excited when Jack said that you'd be coming back with him for Thanksgiving. He talks about you all the time and I'm glad I get to know you a little better without Jack hovering over us the entire time."

I giggle quietly because I was thinking the same thing when I said I was okay with staying here. "He's a good friend. Thank you for having me. Things are a little...complicated between my dad and I. I'm glad for the chance to have come here instead."

"Family is complicated; I hope things get better for you guys soon." She says, and I just don't know how we can even attempt to repair the bond after all the years it's been broken.

"Me too," I say. It's the easier answer than going in depth as to why I don't think it will.

I look over at her, seeing her natural beauty. I remember Jack saying that she had him young, but she doesn't look a day over thirty. They look similar from the same light brown hair to the piercing blue eyes.

"So Jack said something about you being a figure skater?" She asks and I ignore the tightness in my chest.

"I used to be one. I quit competing a little more than a year and a half ago."

"So you were seventeen?" She asks curiously and I nod.

"Yeah. It was a mistake to quit, but I've recently started getting back into it." Or I was until Dad banned me from the rink. Now that I know there's cameras, I'm hesitant to go back. God forbid I do something I love because apparently there's nothing that matters to me.

"I quit once I found out I was pregnant with Jack. It was a little after my eighteenth birthday. His father wanted me to quit long before that though." She says and I suck in a breath at the similarity between us. It's nothing I didn't already know because of Peyton, but it still hurts to have it confirmed.

"My ex didn't like that it took time away from him." My words are soft but I honestly don't regret saying them. I steal a quick glance at Jack's mom to see that she's put the peeler down and there's an understanding in her eyes that I've never seen in anyone else's. It feels better than the horror and pity that I get from everyone else even though I wish more than anything that she didn't understand.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Does it ever get easier?" I ask, the words scraping against my throat like sandpaper.

She smiles sadly, before nodding. "It does. It might not seem like it yet, but you'll stop letting those moments of fear and panic control your decisions. You did the hardest thing though. You left."

"It doesn't feel like the hardest thing." The hardest thing feels like what comes after. The unknown of how Grady can continue coming up to me at any point around campus like he has been. How to be intimate with someone who won't hurt me. How to control the anxiety that's always lurking underneath my skin, waiting to grip it's claws in me in the form of a panic attack. "Grady is making things pretty difficult still."

She turns to open a cabinet, grabbing two wine glasses and then a bottle of wine out of the fridge. "First of all, call me Lily; Ms. Schultz makes me feel old. Secondly, this feels like a conversation that requires something stronger than water. I won't tell if you don't." Lily pours two hefty glasses of white wine and slides it over to me.

I smile appreciatively at her, accepting it and her kindness. "Thank you."

"I want to give you a heads up, Jack has spoken to me a little bit about your past. Please don't be upset with him for it; he needed someone to talk to. I'm not sure how much Jack has told you about his father, but he wasn't a good man. He liked to cause pain: internally and externally." She lets out a ragged breath and I take an apple from her side of the counter and the peeler to finish this for the pie.

"Jack doesn't really talk about his dad at all. I know he's in prison but Peyton was the one who told me why he's there. Jack doesn't know that I know."

Lily sips her wine, leaning against the counter with a faraway look in her eyes. "There are a lot of things that Jack was exposed to because I wouldn't leave. I'll never forgive myself for it. He internalized a lot of things that David said and his scars from it are deep. I wish I'd been able to protect him more."

I thought things with Grady were bad for me, but at least I didn't have a kid with him. I can't even imagine how that would feel. "Did he ever touch Jack?" I ask carefully and she shakes her head.

"No, he didn't. I was always able to distract him before it could get that far, but the things he saw..." Lily trails off and I take a sip of the wine to wash away the lump in my throat. I've been assuming there's a reason he doesn't talk about his dad; this conversation is confirming it's worse than I originally thought.

"You did protect him." I say, the words getting caught as I force them out. "I can't imagine what it would have been going through that."

Lily stares at me with a similar look I get from Jack sometimes. "Sadly, I think you do know what it's like whether you had a child or not in the relationship. When was the first time?"

I look down at the apple to put it in the bowl before grabbing another. "Two months in. I thought I loved him and that he loved me. It had to have been an accident is what I told myself for days afterwards. That he was sorry and it'd never happen again. Until it did." I admit and she smiles grimly.

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard 'I'm sorry, it'll never happen again,' I think I'd be a very rich woman."

I tell Lily everything from the beginning of the relationship to current times, and it feels good to be honest with someone. It's a weight off my chest I didn't realize I was still carrying. I leave out anything that can hint at my weird relationship with Jack. She is after all still his mother.

She just listens and doesn't pass judgment or look at me a certain way. It's the kind of conversation I wish I could have with my mom.

"Have you thought about a restraining order?" She asks hesitantly once I finish explaining how Grady has been popping up around campus, Jack's house, and my dorm.

"Would it even do much? I feel like all it would do is make him angry and cause him to lash out." I say, setting the timer for the pie as we switch to one of the sides for dinner.

"If he does lash out, he'll go to jail. It might be what he needs to know that you're serious about being done."

I twist my fingers together, "Grady told me that we aren't over until he says we're over. He thinks that Jack and I are together—which we aren't—but last week he said something to Jack that just really upset him. It's got to be more than he's let on about." I say, feeling the frustration at the whole situation attempt to alter my mood completely.

"Al, you do get a say in when it's over. Consider the restraining order." She says carefully. "One of my biggest regrets is letting Jack go on like this as long as I have. I was so busy trying to make myself okay again after David went to prison that I didn't realize the depth of the effects it had on Jack until he was in high school. He's always been so strong and I think it was wishful thinking on my part that he was okay."

"Like how he doesn't believe in love?" I ask carefully and her smile is sad now.

"That among other things. I'm really proud of Jack for being there for you; I know he's struggling seeing you go through this given everything with his father."

"I hope he knows what a kind heart he has." Jack is perhaps the nicest guy I've ever met, but he hides himself and his heart behind a wall that I don't know how to get through.

She smiles happily at my words, "He'll come around on the whole love thing. Just give Jack some time." Lily gives me a quick wink that causes my cheeks to burn. Did I say something that gave away whatever the fuck is going on between us?

"I don't feel that way about Jack." I insist quickly, drinking the last of my wine glass.

"I didn't say that you did," She says simply.

Yeah, she's saying one thing but implying another. I don't have the chance to respond because Jack walks in, carrying a couple of grocery bags in his hands. "Next time we'll just go without the rolls and stuffing. I had to go to three different stores that were all crazy busy." He greets his mom with a brief kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks for going, I just want everything to be perfect. Plus it gave us the chance to have some girl time. Thanks for letting me borrow Al." Lily says, patting Jack on the cheek.

He eyes the bottle of wine we've been drinking, "Have you been plying my underage friend with alcohol?" Jack mocks, his eyes shining brightly. The happiness on his face dulls the sharp ache at the use of the word friend. He kneels down to pet Scout who has been impatiently waiting for him to acknowledge her since he walked in with the groceries.

I can only giggle as he smiles at me, "I technically have an ID that says I'm twenty-one."

Jack rolls his eyes at me, "I'm aware except you're not. Technically that's breaking the law Alondra."

"Whatever." I brush his comment off quickly. The wine was a good idea for our conversation.

"So what were y'all talking about?" Jack asks us and Lily smiles.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

He chuckles softly, "Well yeah Momma, that's why I asked."

"I'm almost done with this, why don't you go hang out for a bit and I'll call for you when dinner is ready. After the mess you made in here yesterday, I think I can handle the rest on my own." She says, ignoring his question.

"Are you sure you don't need help? I can..." He trails off once Lily crosses her arms over her chest. "Got it. Going to go hang with Alondra."

She shakes her head, laughing gently. "Thanks for the help Al. I can see why he likes you."

Jack stumbles over literally nothing as his cheeks turn bright pink. He grumbles something under his breath, causing me to laugh at his reaction. I follow after him into his room where he flops onto the bed, kicking off his shoes in the process.

"Since when have you started calling me by my full name?" I ask curiously, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Since you told me how much it bothers you." Jack replies smirking at me. His fingers wrap around my wrist, gently pulling me back until I'm laying next to him.

"It doesn't bother me," I insist even though the way he says it totally does.

He rolls his eyes, "Sure darling. Whatever you want to say."

I stick my tongue out at him, pulling my phone out of my pocket to respond to a few texts I must have gotten earlier. I set my phone down, rolling to face him. "Is it bad that I don't want to go back to Minnesota?"

"No, I don't necessarily want to go back either. I'm enjoying having you all to myself." He admit and those damn butterflies in my stomach go crazy. "I'm glad that you and Momma are getting along."

"Does she not get along with many people?" I ask, finding that question even hard to believe.

The pink tint returns to his cheeks and the tips of his ears, "No, she does. It's just nice to see you two get along. She seems to really like you."

"She's great and I know I keep saying that, but your mom really loves you Jack."

"I know." He says softly. "You're pretty great too."

I smile at him and lean forward to press my lips against his briefly. "Thanks."

"So do I get to know what y'all talked about?"

"Nope."

His protests about how it's not fair and how he deserves to know send me into a fit of laughter. I'm glad I came here, but more importantly, I'm really glad that I met Jack in the first place.

Maybe Lily's right. A restraining order might do me some good. The pictures from our relationship and texts I have are more than enough proof to hopefully get it granted.

How can I expect Jack to get over his demons when I'm still dealing with mine?