The mark from falling out of bed this morning turned into a bruise very quickly. Doesn't help that I'm fucking mortified I woke up snuggling into Jack. We must have fallen asleep during the movie and then Pritchett had to have gotten up in the middle of the night and turned all the lights off.

It's not a big deal that he woke up with a boner, I'd like to think that any guy in the same situation would wake up that way. It's a perfectly normal human reaction; it just was awkward.

All his jokes about size the night before were surprisingly accurate.

Keri's sitting in our normal seats and her eyes zero in on the lump on my head. "What happened to you?"

"Got into a fight with the floor this morning."

She shakes her head laughing, "Been there done that. Is your bed lofted?"

"Unfortunately." I grumble, plopping into my seat. I tried going back to sleep this morning, but my pillows smelled like Jack. I have a lot of mixed feelings about last night.

Yes, I have crashed at his place before. I might have been drunk out of my mind, but we didn't sleep in the same bed. He slept on the couch.

It's not that I care he stayed the night. I'm just freaking out a little bit because I didn't think I'd like being held by Jack as much as I did. Yes, Jack is more attractive than necessary. There's so many reasons that enjoying sleeping next to him is a bad idea. He plays hockey, doesn't believe in love, is one of my dad's players just for a few of them.

Keri starts telling me about some of the drama in the house, but I get distracted when Jack walks in. He's wearing the team's jacket and his jeans are hugging his muscular legs. Jack's hair is messily styled and he's sporting a nice black eye to match the bruise on my forehead.

He smiles hesitantly at me before sitting down and at least I can look at him now. That's a step up from this morning.

"Hey," Jack says quietly and Keri gapes at him.

"Dude, your eye."

He laughs, getting his notebook out, "I'm aware. Someone threw my phone at me and got me straight in the face." I didn't even realize I'd done that this morning. I was so flustered and I'd just woken up before falling out of the bed. Plus Pritchett is a monster in the morning.

"I bet they are sorry," I say and he shrugs.

"Not a big deal, better my eye than my nose." Jack says nonchalantly. He lifts his hand to touch my bruise and my heart jumps. "You okay, darling?"

There's an almost pleading look in his eyes that he wants us to go back to our normal before this morning. "All good. Just being clumsy and I hit the floor a little hard. How was morning skate?"

"Thanks to Pritchett sending out that photo to Dylan and Coop, I've gone from Schultz to Your Highness." He groans and I start to laugh quietly.

"What?" Keri asks and I whip my phone out, pulling the photo Pritchett got of Jack last night.

She starts laughing and covers her mouth to hide it since class is about to start. "That's awesome."

"Al," Jack grumbles and I nudge him with my shoulder.

"You're the one who said you were secure enough in your manhood that you didn't mind wearing a face mask and a headband," I reply quickly. My face flushes when I realize what I said because no wonder he's secure enough in his dick size that it doesn't matter he did a spa night with Pritchett and I.

"But that doesn't mean I want you showing people that picture. No offense Keri," He adds and I can see where he's coming from. "It's bad enough that the whole team has seen it. Pretty sure Coop shared it with Coach because he called me princess this morning."

"Oh poor you."

Jack sticks his tongue out at me like the mature adult he is. Our professor walks in and we fall silent. After getting a tongue lashing in front of the entire class, I'm not eager for a repeat.

Halfway through the lesson, Jack pulls his phone out and I look at him curiously.

My phone buzzes a moment later.

We good?: Jack

Alondra: Yep. No worries.

He lets out an audible breath of relief and I squirm in my seat as I recall how he moaned in my ear this morning.

It's fine.

Not a big deal at all.

I've been attracted to him since I met him so it shouldn't be weird? I mean the guy can kiss. Maybe it's time I try to get back out there.

It's been long enough since Grady.

Jack nudges my leg with his knee and I see he sent another text.

I'm sorry. : Jack

My response is quickly typed back.

Alondra: It's a normal human reaction.

Alondra: It's really okay. We don't have to talk about it.

How mad is Pritchett that I woke her up? : Jack

Alondra: She'll get over it.

Alondra: Pay attention!

Jack smiles at me and resumes taking his notes. Maybe this morning isn't the big deal I thought it would be.

*********

"I want to go out tonight," I say, setting my plate down at the cafeteria with Margot and Pritchett.The food here has grown on me, but I stick to a salad for lunch most days.

"Go out where?" Margot asks curiously.

I let out a shaky breath as I sit down, "Like out tonight. I want to go to a party or to a bar and I want to meet a guy."

Pritchett tilts her head, "Is this you freaking out because Jack stayed the night?"

"What!" Margot exclaims, her eyes wide at me. "Jack Schultz stayed the night in your bed?"

"See, I am capable of keeping my mouth shut!" Pritchett pipes in and I roll my eyes.

"Yes, he stayed the night. Platonically. And no, this isn't because of Jack staying the night. I want to go out because I think it's been long enough since everything with Grady and I think it's time."

My friends look at each other before Pritchett speaks. "Al, what exactly are you hoping to gain from this?"

"I don't know. Does it matter?" I ask, taking a bite of my salad.

"It's just that it's only been ten months since Grady. Are you sure you're ready?" Margot asks carefully. "There's no harm in taking time."

"So you're allowed to do long distance with Hudson and Pritchett is allowed to go back and forth with Eli who has cheated on her how many times? But I say I might be ready to start dating again and-" I take a second to breathe because I'm angry and not thinking rationally. "Why aren't you supporting me like I've supported you?"

"We are supporting you-"

I push my salad away, not hungry anymore. "No, you're not. You have no idea what it was like to be in that relationship. Two months ago you were more than happy to push me towards kissing Jack. I-I've got to go."

"Al-"

I ignore Pritchett and grab my stuff. I'm not quite sure where I'm going to go, but I don't particularly want to be here right now.

I wander around campus for a while, content to be by myself. It gives me plenty of time to think.

I understand why they're worried. A lot of shit went down with Grady and it took months for me to feel like myself again. But at the same time, I can't live my life afraid. I don't want a relationship right now, but maybe I'd like to have a guy buy me a drink. Is there something so wrong with that?

It's too freaking cold outside to be out there for long so I find myself walking back to the dorms where I know Pritchett won't be because she has afternoon classes today. Margot's probably napping. I just want to watch a show and be by myself for a bit.

I've just stepped into the dorm building when my phone rings with a call from Jack.

What does he want?

I answer the phone reluctantly because right now I just want to wallow in my feelings. "Hello?"

"Hey, what's up?" Jack asks and I roll my eyes as I walk up the stairs.

"You called me."

He chuckles, sounding almost nervous? "Yeah, I guess you're right, I did."

I resist the urge to snap at him too because it's bad enough I snapped at Margot and Pritchett. "She called you didn't she," I say flatly.

"Maybe. She's just worried about you. Said something about you biting her head off."

"Great, nice to know that she thinks I need a babysitter."

"Darling, you know that's not it. What's wrong?"

I suck in a sharp breath, "Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing."

"Well nothing has put you in a pissy mood," Jack remarks.

"Maybe I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I'm irritated that Cora would call you because it's none of your business, Jack. You're not my keeper."

"Who is Cora?" He asks, focusing on the wrong thing.

I want to wave my arms angrily in the air. I know I'm overreacting. Completely. "Pritchett!" It's just been such a long day. From the minute I woke up to now. My head is throbbing and I want to sleep more than anything.

Maybe Margot has this shit figured out. Sleeping all the time sounds like the best way to avoid drama.

"I thought we were good?" Jack says and I let out an exasperated sigh.

"We are good. This has nothing to do with that."

I get out of the staircase on my floor as Jack asks if we're still on for tutoring tonight. I'm so busy listening to him ramble about the teacher that it's not until I'm a few feet away from my room when I notice the figure in front of it.

My grip on my phone tightens and I try to will my voice to keep from shaking.

"Dad, I said I'd be there soon. I'm just stopping at my room to get changed." I say loud enough that I know he can hear me.

Grady turns around with a shit eating grin on his face, no doubt having been waiting for me to come back. How did he even learn what room was mine?

I'm vaguely aware of Jack's questioning voice on the other line.

"Hey Alondra, it's been a while." Grady teases and my stomach tightens up.

"No, you don't need to send Jack and Dylan to come get me. I'm perfectly capable of making it there by myself." My voice continues and I add an extra bite to my tone to make it believable. I just really fucking hope that Jack is picking up the breadcrumbs I'm throwing at him.

"Al, what is going on?" Jack asks and I grab my keys from my lanyard.

"I'll see you soon." I say, swallowing the bile that's creeping up my throat.

"Don't hang up-" He starts to say, but Grady knows too much about my relationship with my dad to know that I wouldn't be on the phone with him longer than necessary. I hang up, wishing I could do nothing more than keep him on the phone. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

"What are you doing here?" I ask Grady, trying to keep any emotion out of my voice. He wants a reaction from me. I can't let him know I'm still afraid of him.

He leans against the wall next to my door, his arms seeming larger than they used to be. I would know. "I was waiting for you to get back. I heard you've been screwing around with Jack Schultz. What happened to your rule against hockey players?" My phone starts to vibrate in my hand, no doubt a call back from Jack. I push one of the side buttons, declining it quickly.

"Why do you care?" I ask bluntly, "We're broken up."

I watch in horror as a calmness washes over his face. The one that haunts me whether I'm sleeping or awake. "Sorry sweetheart, but we're not over till I say we're over. Stay away from Schultz."

My feet involuntarily stumble backwards as his words process in my head. I catch my balance one the wall as his eyes flash, pleased with the reaction I didn't want to give him. We're not over till I say we're over. Jack, please please please come. I'll never be a bitch to you again.

"Then you better leave. Dad's expecting me at the rink and if I'm not there in the next ten minutes he'll send Jack. Probably Dylan or Coop too. He thinks I'm incapable of making it to the rink by myself. "

Grady smiles at me, ignoring what I said about the guys. "I haven't seen you at any of my games." He's delusional.

"You need to go." My voice wavers and I do my best to stand tall. I feel like a fraud.

"I've missed you Alondra."

I don't say anything and his hand reaches towards my face. I flinch out of habit, but all Grady does is brush my hair behind my ear.

I'm going to puke.

"Think about what I said. Jack isn't the right man for you," His jaw is tight and I close my eyes, nodding once. If it gets him to go then I'll agree with him.

When I open my eyes, he's halfway down the hall and I cover my mouth to smother the sound of a breaking sob. The keys to the room are already in my hand and I unlock the door quickly, before shutting and locking it behind me.

I sink to the floor and pull my knees up to my chest as all the terrible memories of Grady start to come out of the corner I've pushed them to. He knows what room is mine. I was stupid to think that I would last this long without really, truly running into him.

We're not over till I say we're over.

He can't possibly believe that. I close my eyes tightly, feeling the tears drip down my cheeks. My breathing is sporadic and I'm struggling to take a deep breath. You're fine Al, I chant to myself. He didn't touch you—not really. You'll be fine.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

Fuck free college. This is why I was supposed to go to Texas. It would've been a fresh start and there wouldn't be a shot in hell of Grady being able to show up at my dorm room.

The sound of my sobs fill the room and I bite my lip to try and stop them. It's no use.

There's a loud knock on the door and I scramble to my feet quickly, my heart stopping. My anxiety is through the fucking roof.

He came back. He didn't care that my dad was waiting for me.

"Al, it's Jack." He knocks again and the immense relief that floods through me that he actually came is the best feeling in the world.

I unlock the door with shaky hands and the second it's opened, I see the concern warping his face. Behind his shoulder is Dylan looking ready to murder someone. I throw my arms around Jack's neck, clinging to him as the tears start to fall at a faster rate.

He holds me easily, supporting my weight as we step back into the safety of my room. "Shhh, you're okay." Jack soothes and I bury my face in the crook of his neck. "What's wrong darling?" He asks and I hear the door lock.

I shake my head, struggling to make the truth come out. It's an ugly truth. He slips his hand under my parka to rub my back and I start to relax, attempting to take deep breaths.

Jack.

Cinnamon.

Safety.

We're not over till I say we're over.

I pull away from him quickly, darting to the trash can in the corner of the room before heaving up what I had eaten that morning.