CHAPTER ONE. TIRED AND HUNGRY.

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It was early in the morning and Adrian has just closed from his night shift. Tired and exhausted he dragged his feet on the cold concrete. To say that he was tired would be an understatement at this stage, he barely feels alive not to mention starving too. A chilling cold wind blew past him and he shivered and stopped short in his tracks. He ripped his backpack from his back and dropped the navy blue bag on the ground, then he went on his knees and unzipped the bag, one hand reaching inside and pulling out his favorite faded blue hoodie. It was his favorite because he couldn't afford the luxury of buying himself a new one. Adrian pulled the hoodie on and covered his head, then he strapped his bag back on and resumed his journey down to the bus stop once again. Life hasn't been fair to him and he wished more times than he could count that he would just end up dead someplace or go to bed and not wake up the next day, but in as much as life is a bitch to him it has refused to kill him even when he thought he was going to die.

The bus stop sign blinked from a distance and he smiled and speed up his pace. The night was dark and silent, not that it was anything unusual at this hour of the morning. It has always been like this since he started working at the popular fancy restaurant downtown. Night shifts were always the worst as it was always crowded at night and he took up the job because it paid more than it would if he worked day shifts, not to mention the number of generous tips he gets. He wouldn't say he hates his job because it took him months to get this one and he planned on keeping it for a long time, well at least until he could finally afford his own place.

At twenty-four and a highschool dropout, Adrian felt he is doing the best he could for himself. If life throws lemons at you, you make lemonades right? A relieved sigh left the boy's mouth as he came to his stop, he smirked and sat on the lonely bench waiting for the early morning bus to arrive. He couldn't wait to get home and fall asleep on his sleeping bag, God knows he needed enough sleep. Heck, he could sleep a whole week if he got the opportunity. Once the six o'clock bus pulled up, Adrian stood up and went into the bus, as expected, he was the only one in the bus, well not until about three minutes later before the bus picks up another passenger an older lady that works at a hospital. Adrian was familiar with everyone who boards the bus from the time he got in until he drops at his destination. He has been taking this route for three months now. Once his butt hit the chair he almost moaned out loud. He stretched his legs and relaxed his back, then shut his eyes.

A low chuckle sounded from the front and Adrian smiled knowingly. 

"Tired are we?" Jonathan, the driver asked and chanced a quick glance at Adrian's way before returning his focus on the road. 

"You have no idea!" Adrian replied with his eyes still shut tight. 

"Did you remember to eat today?" The concerned man asked. For three months straight he has always picked the boy up from this same location, from the day he had first met the boy and the day he would never forget. Adrian had almost passed out on the foot of the bus and that was the day the good driver knew the boy had troubles eating. He had asked Adrian if he ate and the boy had replied with a no. Jonathan who had his breakfast tucked safety for when he goes on break went ahead to offer Adrian his meal. Adrian, in turn, had insisted they ate the food together and from that day on, Jonathan has never stopped asking the boy if he ate, whenever he picks him up. 

Adrian didn't answer because he had skipped not only lunch but dinner too. 

"So, I take your silences as a no then?" The good man asked again. 

Adrian didn't understand how and why he forgets to eat when he works at a restaurant, although he could never afford to buy the food there since it's a big and fancy restaurant but there were others at lower prizes that he could easily buy takeout from. 

"I don't feel hungry and it makes me forget that I haven't eaten, although I feel hungry now." Adrian laughed nervously. 

"You're in luck because I packed two bags today so you can have one." 

Adrian felt his eyes water. He really loves this man and the little time he has known Jonathan, the man has proven to be a better father than his actual father had been and not just his father, his entire family sickens him. 

"You are going to have to come over here and grab the bag young man, I'm driving here," Jonathan yelled in between laughter. 

Adrian got up and walked over to the front then grabbed the bag sitting close to the driver. 

"Thank you." He whispered. 

"I hope you like it, I made it in a rush, I don't know what happened to my alarm it didn't go off in time." The man went on to speak as Adrian sat back on his seat and pulled out a nicely made sandwich. He quickly took a huge bite and immediately choked on it. "Now, now, take it easy, we don't want you dying on the sandwich. Here, have some water." Jonathan threw a bottle his way and Adrian caught it, pulled the cap open and downed the bottle in half. "When was the last time you ate, kid?" The man asked. 

"This morning," Adrian replied and went back to devouring his breakfast.

"You mean, yesterday's morning." The man corrected. "You should always eat, son, don't skip meals it's not healthy for you." The man scolded. 

"I'll try," Adrian whispered and shut his eyes just in time for a strand of a tear to run down his cheeks. 

"Hey, don't do that, I don't care what everyone else thinks of you, to me, you are a man and I have taken you as my own son. I told you the first day I picked you up, I made a promise to you on that day and I planned on keeping to that promise. So, if you ever need anything, you know where to find me." The bus came to a stop and the woman got in. 

Their chatting came to an end as it gets busy from there until he drops. Adrian has finished with his meal and has taken his position back into relaxation, he could feel sleep coming and he welcomed it. 

*************

"I have never heard such ridiculousness my entire life!" 

Adrian sat up straight to meet his father's angry glares. 

"What do you mean by that?!" The angry man yelled again. "Amanda!" The man called. 

"I-I-I--" the boy couldn't form words. He was terrified. At seventeen and still in high school, he felt he could finally tell his family what has been troubling him since he was a child. His hidden secret, a part of him that has been forced to stay trapped and hidden for seventeen years. That evening just after they had finished dinner and his father had told him and his sisters how much he loved them. It was a very happy evening and Adrian felt there was no better time to bring this up than now and that was what he did.

If only he knew. 

He would not have said a word. 

Adrian met his sisters' eyes and saw them glaring at him in disgust even his mother. 

It never ceases to amaze him how quickly a mood can change.

"Amanda, I believe your father asked you a question!" His mother yelled, startling the boy even more. 

"I am so-sorry, b-but this is who I am, who I have always been, I am not a girl." It took all the fiber of will power in him to say those words out loud. His sisters stared at him as if he had suddenly grown two heads. 

His father busted out laughing and at some point, his mother joined in and soon his sisters. The whole family went into a feast of laughter at Adrian's discomfort and hurt. 

He just sat there like a statue and cried silently, his eyes barely blink even as tears ran down like a stream. 

How could they?

They laugh at him instead of supporting him.

"I think you're sick and you need help." His mother said after the laughter had died down.

"You said you are not a girl?" his father asked. "What do you call those on your chest, I don't see that on my chest and the one under your legs, I raised you from baby until now and not once did I see you grow penis!" The man stopped to look at the other members of the family to be certain that they were in on what he was saying, and as soon as they all nodded their heads in agreement, he went on to say. "Now, make us all understand how you are now a boy or did you grow something overnight, something we don't know of, something you would like to show us?" The laughter began again and this time, Adrian could not take it anymore. 

"You are all sick, sick, all of you! I can't believe you are even related to me. What kind of a family laughs at their child for sharing a part of them that hurts them the most? You said you love me, I don't think so, you don't love me. None of you sitting here loves me and I will not stay here and listen to you all laugh at me or treat me this way!" Adrian made to storm out of the living room when he heard his father called him.

"Amanda--"

"Adrian, my name is Adrian!" He cut the man shut and then took a long look at his mother and sisters for the last time. 

"I don't care what you chose to call yourself, but what I do care is if you leave this house tonight be sure to never return here, not like this. Whenever you come back to your senses and decide to be my firstborn daughter, my door will always be opened for you but in as long as you choose to be this way, you have no place in my house!" 

"So be it!" Adrian threw back at him. "I would rather be anywhere and have everyone else treat me worse than have you all do that to me. Don't expect me back here because I am a boy and not a girl and if you won't accept me, then I don't care what you think." He couldn't help the tears running down his face. He was scared because he knew he had no place to go if he left the house but he was determined to go anywhere, sleep anywhere that doesn't have his sick family around. 

"You are no longer my child from this day onwards, do you understand me?!" The angry man yelled. 

Adrian rushed into his room and grabbed his backpack, he couldn't keep any of his outfits and so he just threw his textbooks out on the floor and bolted for the door with an empty backpack on his hand.

"You're dead to me, to this family, you hear me?!!" The last words from his father as he ran out of the house. 

*************

"Adrian?" 

The voice called from a distance.

"Adrian, can you hear me?" 

He stretched and blinked his eyes, they obviously were still very tired to open.

"Adrian!!" 

This time, he jolted awake to lock eye contact with Jonathan. 

"Are you alright?" The worried man asked, concerned laced his words. 

"Yes, I-I had a nightmare," Adrian answered.

"Are you sure you're alright?" The man asked again, the boy was sweating bullets. When they got to his bus stop he had asked a passenger close to Adrian to tap the boy but when he didn't respond, he panicked and stopped the bus to come to wake the boy up himself.

Adrian used his hoodie to clean sweats off his face before pulling it off. "Yes, I'm fine." He smiled.

"Well, we are at your stop." The man told him and then went back to the driver's seat.

"Thank you for the sandwich!" Adrian called as he dropped and waved the parting bus goodbye.

He took a quick glance at his wristwatch it reads, 6.45 a.m. That forty-five-minute drive to work and back always seen like forever to him. Adrian walked the last one minute and then made a turn to his right, the apartment flat he shared with three other guys stood in front of him and he smiled. 

"Finally." He whispered.















There you have it my lovelies, your first chapter. I'd love to know your thoughts on this one. I hope you enjoyed it!

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