CHAPTER 17. HIS SEX, MY ADDICT.

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The unrivaled way to rise each morning, should any have the option, is to find oneself in that clouded place where dreams and reality blend like watercolors, one into the next where it's several heart beats before we come to realize that the dream has ended and life began anew. We want to stay in that limbo for as long as we can, to let it revive and comfort us in a way our waking life never will. There is a small sense of loss that coats our mind for a while, a thin slick of oil on water, once the clouds are burned away by life, a benign sadness lingering just beyond recognition and evaporating to nothingness in a blink, leaving only a dim fading glimmer of memory behind. 

This state was were Elijah Wealthmoor had found himself as soon as his eyes peered open to great the beginning of a new dawn. His wife and father were on to something and deep inside, he could feel it and he knew whatever it is that was going on, would be something he wouldn't like. Something that could break him, he was terrified to know what that something was. For a fact he already knew that he stands a big chance at losing all that he had worked tirelessly for. 

He stared at Adrian for a moment, his lover's back to him as he held him protectively in his hand. Adrian was still asleep and was peaceful like he had no care in the world, this was what Elijah wanted, at his young age he has been through so much and he just wants to see Adrian happy for the rest of his life and as long as he still breaths, he will make sure the boy stays happy.

Adrian stirred and unknowingly laced their fingers together and brought it to his chest, holding the hand over his heart, Elijah felt his heartbeat through their embrace keeping time. It seemed to be counting down the seconds, a ticking clock beating out the coming end to their bliss with unforgiving fierceness. 

A warm gentle kiss on his hand made his heart swell and he smiled. Adrian made a soft sound of pleasure, like a cat waking from a summertime nap on the window sill. Though Elijah couldn't see his face, he imagined that he wore a smile of contentment to match his own. 

At least, he hoped he did. 

His body responded to Adrian's slight movement without thought as he pressed back against his morning hardness and slowly grinding into him, seeking to remain close or closer for as long as they could. Their fingers were still locked together held to Adrian's chest as his breathing began to regulate. Elijah pulled him in closer and pressed his face to Adrian's hair, breathing him in deeply and sighing his chest expanding as he too stretched his muscles. Adrian shivered when he felt the power of the man begins to awaken behind him, the corded strength of him as he readies his lithe body for the day to come.

Elijah who had felt the other trembling, guided their interlocked hands over Adrian's skin, his chest and down his stomach, gliding smoothly over to his hips. 

His breath hitched as he waited anxiously for Elijah's next move.

"Morning," Elijah said groggily, his voice calmed him and he exhaled. "Are you cold?" Elijah pulled the covers around them more tightly and snuggled even closer, unconsciously humping into him and Adrian couldn't help but moan at the contact. 

"Morning." He whispered through the escalating pleasure trying to keep it from his tone. "How did you sleep?"

"Like the dead," Elijah replied, his lips softly kissing Adrian's neck driving rational thought from his body, a jolt of electricity working down his spine and all the way to his toes. 

Nobody ever made him feel this way.

Only Elijah. 

He was falling and falling hard.

"Glad to be awake now."  Elijah breathed out and Adrian felt a small twinge of loss when Elijah unwound his fingers, but only for the time, it took him to gracefully move from behind Adrian giving him the space to fall onto his back while he rose on his elbow to get a better angle.

For the first time today Elijah met Adrian's gaze. As if it was the first time he had seen him, he was rocked by what lay behind Adrian's eyes. Passion and lust were there, to be sure, burning brightly. But, beneath that, lurking in the deep dark places something else. Something, he could only describe as caring. 

Elijah smiled as his touch danced over the smooth skin of Adrian's strong shoulders as he moved down, past his collarbones, licking and kissing at the skin of his chest. Taking his time to learn the man. Adrian's chest was perfect, two elegant hard nipples stood proud as his breathings pumped roughly in his chest. Adrian's response to his touches fascinated Elijah and it has awakened something inside of him.

He wanted to do more.

To feel more. 

He slowly brought down his head and took one nipple in his mouth and Adrian's back arched. Which only served to drive him on. 

"Eli." Adrian moaned, his hand coming to the back of Elijah's head, feeling the soft prickles of Elijah's hair against his skin. In as much as he wanted this, he needed to feel this, he still didn't think Elijah would approve. 

"Shhhh. Let me." Elijah's voice was a deep growl, masculine and controlling but devoid of violence. 

Adrian had no real choice but to give in and let him do to him whatever he pleased. He couldn't have been more willing to give up that control. Something in Elijah brought that out of him. When he touched him. He lost the need to be the master of his own form. He simply allowed himself to be...to be touched and manipulated, twisted and prodded in ways he never would have sanctioned normally.

Elijah slowly undid his pants and gently pushed it all the way off, throwing it across the room. Elijah was naked but he wasn't and now they were the same. Adrian held his breath and shut his eyes, he didn't want to see the look on Elijah's face. 

"Open your eyes," Elijah whispered and slowly he forced his eyes open. "You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen." Those words were heaven, not just because he had spoken them, but because of the sincerity at which they were spoken. Elijah's lips on his hips bones sent his pelvis to the ceiling, it was beautiful torture and he rode through Elijah's long dark lashes, his hazel eyes just beginning to catch the dawning light and gleaming with hints of amber and gold, catching his gaze. The things that can be communicated in a stare like that far outweigh anything actual speech can accomplish. "Let me, I need to do this. I desire this. Please." Elijah seemed to beg. His mouth closed over Adrian's sensitive head nearly sent him to the moon. Heat and wetness flooded him, every nerve focused like a laser. Elijah twirled his tongue around, reveling in it, increasing and decreasing speed and pleasure as if he had been doing this for years. All the while his eyes searched Adrian's face. 

Adrian had never imagined he would ever feel this much pleasure when sucked, his bottom growth had been the best part of his transitioning and it made his bottom dysphoria better, albeit a lot sensitive. He would never forget the morning he had woken up and discovered he had a boner. That had to be the happiest day of his life. It may not be like the guy's next door but it was enough and he was happy. 

That was all that matters.

Elijah loved the body of his young lover, Adrian was perfect inside and out, his body was different, not like anything he has come to expect but even better and he craves him. Slowly he bobbed his head up and down his shaft taking him all in, he made a satisfied groan as he adjusted himself so he was kneeling between Adrian's thighs. His strong hand spread Adrian's legs with ease and held them there against his uncontrollable trembling. 

"Ahhh, that's incredible. Don't stop." Adrian's voice sounded strange to his own ears, almost as if someone else was urging him on, someone outside of his body. Elijah's hips waved back and forth in the open air as he worshiped the body he had fallen so hard for. Everything about Adrian was different, unique even. Last night, Adrian had taken him to a special place and had given him the best orgasm of his life and today, this morning, he would bring Adrian to that same place. 

"Oh, yes." Adrian groaned, his hands coming to the sides of Elijah's head. This was his first time at this experience and he immediately felt closer to Elijah than to anyone else in his life. The new sensation coupled with the jolt of Elijah's willingness and unexpected success at even trying almost pushed him over the edge. 

It wasn't as if he had ever been with another transgender man before and yet the way and manner in which he worshiped his body was something Adrian would never forget. Adrian felt his passion explode with the heat he thought Elijah must surely be able to feel. He grabbed Elijah's head and tore him from his shaft in a smooth motion, drawing him forward and pushing his lips into Elijah's with an intenseness that frightened even him. He tasted himself, his sweet passion on Elijah's tongue as he pushed back against him.

Adrian's hands grabbed at Elijah's hips and gripped him, seeking to turn him around. 

He needed to touch him, to bury himself inside of Elijah in any way he could.

Elijah got his drift and broke their kiss so he could flip around and straddle Adrian's chest, his face still pointing at Adrian, his perfectly sculpted body now just centimeters from Adrian's hungry mouth. 

Elijah kissed him gently and deftly crawled from his position to stand firmly on the floor beside the bed. 

Adrian's brain was essentially a puddle somewhere near the back of his skull. He was surprised by the basic five senses that remained intact. Elijah observed his confusion on the bed, gazing up and down his prostrate position, seeming to commit the image to memory. His smile bordered on a smirk. He was definitely enjoying the power trip and Adrian's resulting inability to remain mostly human. Elijah sauntered towards the bathroom, he flicked on the light and in a moment Adrian heard the metallic ping of the shower. Elijah drew the shower curtain back and stepped into the spray. 

"Now we are even." He pitched his tone so that Adrian heard him clearly over the sound of the water.

"Even?" Adrian asked. 

"You didn't cum last night and I did. Thank you for that by the way, it was amazing." Elijah was worried about Adrian, he hadn't told him yet of his plans to travel back home to check on things over there and to find answers to the many questions disturbing his mind.

"Welcome," Adrian said as if he had folded the man's laundry or cleaned a dirty dish. 

Elijah chuckled softly at that. "Seriously, Adrian? Welcome? Not even you are welcome. Just, welcome." He was trying desperately to lighten up the mood for when the main conversation starts. Hopefully, he doesn't hurt him. He just can't bear the thought of hurting him.

After a long silence, in which Adrian did his best to shake off his wounded pride and fasten the shattered remnants of his brain into functioning lobes once more, he said.

"So, you saw my pictures." Adrian paused. It wasn't exactly a question. Just a desperate attempt at leading a conversation.

"I did, I was hurt you didn't tell me although it made no difference to me. You are no different, well, in a way, you are because you are special and a much better man than I would ever be." Elijah's voice filled the room and Adrian couldn't help the weak tears rolling down his cheeks. It seems as though he always knew the right words to say to him.

On to more serious matter, "I don't know anything about what happened yesterday but I do know you weren't pleased. Would you want to talk about it?" Adrian paused. He didn't want to intrude but he couldn't help but notice that Elijah had lots of things troubling him and not once had he ever spoken to him about any. He has told the man everything about him and all he knows about Elijah was that he is married with kids and wouldn't come out to his family about his sexuality for some reason best known to him. He also hadn't forgotten the fact that Elijah had actually suspected his wife for having a hand in what happened to him.

The water abruptly cut off, the curtain was pulled back quickly and a very wet, very erect, and very hurt looking Elijah back in the bedroom.

Adrian was so captivated by his expression that he hardly registered his gleaming nakedness as he stood by the bathroom door. Elijah's face was inscrutable, his eyes wide and full as he stared down at him still laying on the disheveled bed.

"There is just so much to say that I don't know where or how to start.." Elijah's voice was quiet and low and he worked one hairy muscle leg in a small circle his eyes dropping from Adrian's face to follow the patterns his toes left in the rug.

Still unaware of the emotional battlefield he had just forced them both into. He tried to quickly crush it and remain jovial.

"It's just, I don't expect you to...well, you know?" He was referring to Elijah choosing him over his family. Somehow he knew the man would never do that and with the way he looked, it seems there was more to it and it terrified him.

"I want to leave Nova, I swear I do, but I can't, our fathers had our wills tied and the one who leaves gets nothing. This is my company, I am E.Wealths, I built it, maybe not from the ground up since it was my grandfather's and father's doing but I am who made the company what it is today. I just can't begin to imagine losing everything I worked eighteen years for, I started running that company at twenty years of age and until now and as it seems, Nova has the upper hand. My father would never accept me, I don't know about my mother, she is always in her husband's shadows, almost as if she had no life of her own. I don't know what to do."

Adrian felt his eyes sting. He kept still and watched as the man spoke, he felt for him, he understood him since he knew what rejection felt like. His was even better since he wasn't a known public figure like Elijah which would only make this harder when the news reaches the public. 

"I don't want you to lose anything because of me. I would be here with you through it all, it doesn't matter if we hide our relationship forever, I can do that, for you I would. I just don't want you unhappy, it breaks me. Go home, be with your family, visit me when you can, I don't mind."  It came pouring from Adrian's mouth in an unstoppable flood, the words not even able to clearly find the emotions from which they emanate before they left his lips. The more he speaks, the more he was unable to stop speaking, the tighter his chest became. A lump was in his throat, pressing hard and making it difficult to breathe. 

Did he really mean all those things he just said?

Hell, no.

He wanted the man around him.

He wanted to be able to show the world the man he loves and who loves him the same.

He wanted to be able to go places, do things, hold hands in public with the man he loves. He couldn't possibly want all these things and yet wish that Elijah be apart from him and yet he had spoken those words. 

To his horror, he felt his eyes begin to water, his vision going misty. Adrian writhed on that bed in agony. 

"I will be flying back home in a few hours," Elijah spoke.

He had said the word and now the man was leaving him. Adrian felt his resolve broke and full panic took over control of his body. He acted on instinct.

He had to run.

He had to get away.

There was nowhere to hide in the bedroom, nowhere would be safe, so his weak legs hit the floor and he ran past Elijah's naked body and into the bathroom. Adrian turned on the water and stepped into the shower, uncaring of the temperature that went from arch to lava while he let it hit his face, his palms pressed to the white tiles in front of him, the only thing keeping him standing. 

What if he never came back?

What if he forgets about him?

Why did he have to go and say those words?

His heart beating in his chest.

Even though Elijah had said those words, yet his eyes...they had been so sad.

Adrian thought he would vanish to a cloud of dust when he felt Elijah's hands at his shoulders, Elijah's fingers gently pressing into his skin as he traversed his body. Lighter than slik but with an effect like steel, his arms moved under Adrian's and pulled him close. Adrian pushed back into his chest, his hand coming to rest on Elijah's own, pressing them harder into his skin.

He wanted to tell him he didn't mean any of those words. He had suffered too much to be in that kind of relationship. He just can't handle that and the fact that he had actually said it, made him cringe.

Elijah didn't believe Adrian when he said those words, and it had only hurt him, how much Adrian was willing to sacrifice for him and it left him wondering why he wouldn't do so much more. He turned Adrian to face him, his hips pressing into Adrian's, his hands around the small of his back as he stared into Adrian's eyes, that stare seem to take Adrian apart and put him back together again until he couldn't recognize the man Elijah saw.

"None of that," Elijah whispered. He pulled Adrian tighter into him. They were pressed together, seeking closeness, an intimacy that they hadn't planned on and was unsure how to return.

"But.." Adrian began.

"I won't let you go through that, Jack once did and look where that ended him. I won't let that happen to you. I will protect you and I will do all it takes. From the first day, I saw you, I knew I was a goner for good. From that day, every time I see you, my heart just goes crazy. I would never hurt you, not intentionally. We will figure this out together, you and I." Elijah assured him. "I will be leaving in a few minutes, you will be safe here, no harm will come to you, I have made sure of that and you have your friends here to keep you company while I'm gone." 

"Andrew?" Adrian asked.

"He's coming with me. There is something we need to take care of. I promise to call you every chance I get." Elijah watched Adrian burn his mark into his soul with his eyes. He turned his head and leaned in to kiss him. It was gentle but persistent, not the lust-filled animalistic kiss he craved from him every waking hour and in his dreams. Just a kiss that he hoped would convey what his bruised brain and self-sabotaging heart could not. He sighed into their kiss and felt Adrain relax into his embrace as he too had done. 

Enos seems to have passed and they stayed like that, their mouths pressed together, tongues dancing an easy tango. The water had lost some of its blistering heat when Adrian finally broke their embrace and reached up to wipe a tear from his cheekbone with a grin. Adrian reached behind Elijah to turn off the water and stepped out of the shower silently. 

Elijah found himself staring at the beautiful shape his back made, the wide shoulders tapering down into a deep V and then easing into his bubble butt. But for once, he wasn't overpowered by the desire to take him, touch him, devour him. Instead, something of a sense of comfortable ownership began to settle on him. Adrian had given something to him, a part of himself that he had never received before.

Adrian handed him a towel and began to dry off in the steam-filled silence. 

As they dressed and ready themselves to head out.

He will be seeing Nova in a few hours and he will be getting his answers and also making his

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