CHAPTER 21 - Realizations

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Karthik didn't want to go anywhere. He can't bear the thought of staying away from his wife but, he can't take her with him as Tulasi will be left alone. He really wished there is someone else to do the job but sadly there isn't.

Sindhu stayed silent while he was packing clothes and he wished he knew what's going on in her head.

Will she miss him too, just like he will? Or will she be normal since he never talks much and is not someone who is a great company to be with. May be, he could try changing for her; try to be a better person for her. That way, she would know about him and might even fall in love with him just like he did with her.

As he was packing his clothes, he noticed her staring down with a frown on her face.

"Don't tell me you love the bed sheet color now" he started a conversation.

She looked up and smiled shyly "No"

"So, what's going on? You look worried"

Sindhu wondered what to say. She can't tell him that she'd miss him so damn much; she might lose the smiles he's been giving her the past few days.

"Nothing. I was just wondering---- about Tulasi" she lied. "With you gone, she might be--- you know----- shaken up"

Karthik frowned "She will be alright. I know you'll be there for her if she needs you"

She nodded before going back to her thinking mood again.

Karthik wanted to spend as long as possible with his wife but seeing her condition, he doubted he could do that.

He heard her clear her throat and turned to her only to see her staring at him in what looked like hope "Um Karthik... Can I---um-- can I come... with you---- to the airport?"

He smiled instantly "You want to give me send off?"

"Yeah" she nodded shyly.

"Sure then. But, you know it's far.. It takes more than two hours to reach Shamshabad airport and you'd be late if--"

"It's ok. I can manage"

"How will you return? Shall I book a taxi for you?"

"How are you going?" She asked coolly.

"By my bike. I am planning to leave it at the airport since I am going alone"

"Why don't we take your car?"

"You know how to drive?" He asked, looking surprised.

She smiled "Yes, I do"

He returned her smile "Then, let's take it"

The two of them sat in the car with him driving; Karthik wished she talked something, even if it's her usual mindless ramble. He contemplated on taking her hand into his; he really wished to stay close until he left.

After an eternity, he finally gathered courage and took her hand from her lap. Closing his fingers around hers, he stared ahead steering the wheel through the heavy traffic of Hyderabad.

Sindhu was surprised when he took her hand into his, again.

Why is he doing this? Does he like me? He has to. Else, why would he do that?

Her optimistic part of mind encouraged her while the pessimist part was frowning at her thoughts saying may be he is scared of flights.

Yes!! That has to be it. She's seen scenes like that in films and may be that's what's exactly happening to him.

"Don't worry. Everything will be alright" she said awkwardly.

"What?" he asked, looking confused while removing his hand off hers to change the gear.

"I was saying you'd be alright. You know flight is the safest mode of travel; you need not be worried about it"

His hand found hers again as he said "You think I am scared of flights? Why do you think that?"

She gulped "B-because you are holding my hand. I have seen scenes like that in a lot of films"

Karthik turned away from her to bit back his smile. For a smart woman, she really is dense sometimes. He wished he was brave enough to confess how he felt about her.

"You watch a lot of films" Yet, you don't understand why I did that.

"I've been doing that a lot lately" she murmured under her breath.

Karthik turned serious "I was---um--- wondering to tell you the same thing" When she looked at him expectantly, he continued "If--um-- you wanted to find a job or go back to your previous one, you can. I--- um-- don't mind"

In reality, he does. He didn't want her to work; he didn't want to miss the little time he gets to spend with her. Their relationship is going somewhere and he didn't want it to be ruined with the two of them getting distant to each other because of work. Yet, he doesn't want to rub his thoughts and ideas on her; it should be completely her decision to make.

"You want me to work?" she asked, looking astonished.

"If that's what you want" he replied, trying to hide the bitterness off his voice.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I'd be happy if you work" Her face fell listening to his reply before he shot back "I'd be happier if you don't"

She smiled "I'd think about it. Though I am not sure if I want a job right now"

Sindhu was glad with the way her life's going now; she didn't want to lose the progress Karthik's made. She didn't want to go back to work when her first priority is Karthik now.

Karthik sighed hearing her reply. He was relieved to know Sindhu was not jumping at the thought of getting a job, yet.

May be.. Just may be, she is thinking the same way he is; that thought brought a smile on his face.

As they neared Shamshabad, his worry augmented with every passing minute; he didn't want to leave her. If it was his choice, he would never leave her hand.

After he parked the car and gave the keys to Sindhu, he walked towards the entrance holding Sindhu's hand while carrying his bag on his shoulder.

When the security stopped them, he showed the tickets and moved forward. As they entered the airport, he told Sindhu to wait and went towards the Indigo counter to get his boarding pass.

When he returned back, he found her dull and didn't know what to say. Is she worried about him just the way he is?

"Um, I got the boarding pass"

"So, you-- have to go now?" she asked, a little sadly.

"Um, yeah. We will be called for boarding in half an hour"

"Oh.. Ok then.. Have a happy journey and call me when you landed" she said, feeling awkward.

"Yeah sure" He said softly, but didn't attempt to move away from her.

Sindhu didn't dare to look at him; she was sure she'd cry if she saw his face. However, she didn't miss the fact that he was staring at her. It was only after she saw him turn away, she raised her eyes.

Karthik had an undeniable urge to hug his wife but seeing her not facing him, made him realize that he has to leave. He doesn't understand her sometimes. Though he took a step forward, away from her, he couldn't bring himself to walk further. He clenched his fists to stop himself from going back to her but it seemed impossible to him.

Sindhu was surprised to see him turn towards her; she was shocked when he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. Her hands remained at her sides, completely baffled at the turn of the situation.

Not even few seconds passed and he pulled away, leaving her to her thoughts, without turning back.

What does this mean now? Will he miss her too, just like she will?

Though it's a sad thought, it brought a goofy smile on her face. She realized that she will not be the only one who's going to be miserable on his trip.

As Karthik continued the formalities of checking in, his mind was still stuck on her. He was enchanted by her and couldn't forget the way she smelt; like coconuts. He is sure he's going to be awful all the days he's going to stay away from her and wished his problems solved soon so that he can return soon.

When Sindhu reached her house, she missed him more than she missed him in the car. A sense of dread overwhelmed her and she wished he came back soon.

She slept on their bed, hugging the pillow while reliving the moment she was in his arms. She wished he hugged her long enough to make her wrap her arms around him when all she did was remain frozen; she cursed herself for being that stupid.

When she woke up an hour later, Tulasi informed her that Karthik landed safely in Delhi. She was disappointed that he called Tulasi and not her. Soon, she realized that he may not have her number just like she didn't have his.

After she having dinner, she opened her mobile to check her Facebook updates when she realized it was switched off. She went to the plug to charge it but realizing that no one would call her, she threw the mobile on her bed and continued to sulk.

Tulasi proved to be a great company in the days that followed Karthik's absence as they had similar tastes in movies. They would cook food and watch movies together; Tulasi was almost like the sister she never had. She never thought she'd feel like that about Tulasi but she did.

Sindhu was surprised to see Karthik at their door step talking to Tulasi, the next Monday when she came back from bath.

"Hi" He greeted her with a smile.

"Hi" she replied in a tight lipped tone.

His smile disappeared seeing her mood as he watched her walk towards Kitchen. She came back a few minutes later with a cup of tea while he was chatting animatedly with Tulasi on the couch.

"Shall I get you something?" She asked, with a blank look on her face.

He shook his head, frowning at her behavior.

She nodded and left the room while Karthik turned to Tulasi "Um, I forgot to ask. When will you go to a doctor?"

"Soon. I want a job right now"

"About that. I talked to my boss and he agreed to see you tomorrow morning. If he considers you as an asset, he might give you a job"

"Thanks. I also- um- need to do a bit of shopping. My tops are not fitting me anymore and I would like to buy a few more clothes. If you and Sindhu are free, we shall go in the evening"

"Yeah sure" he replied nonchalantly, his mind shifting back to his wife's behavior.

After lunch, Tulasi retired to sleep while Sindhu tried to avoid going to her room by cleaning the kitchen. She didn't want to face him when she's angry at him; she didn't even have a reason to be, yet she is.

After nothing's left to be scrubbed, she finally headed to her room hoping he slept. She found him playing with his mobile, sitting on the bed while she quietly opened her wardrobe.

She pretended to arrange her clothes when she heard him "Are you fine?"

"Hm.. Yes" she replied, not turning to him.

"Are you angry at me?" he asked slowly.

"Why would I be?"

"Why are you not looking at me then?" he shot back.

She turned to him "I am looking at you"

He sighed heavily "I didn't mean that. Ok, let's leave that topic. How's everything?"

She shrugged "Fine"

"Why was your mobile switched off then?" he said, directly coming to the topic.

"How did you know that? You have my number?" she asked, looking at him incredulously.

"Of course I have your number. I told you that I took it from my mom. Don't you remember that?" he asked in a surprised tone.

Sindhu tried to remember when he said that?

Shit. He told that when he met her in Vizag and she completely forgot about it. Was she angry at him, the last four days for no mistake of his?

"Um if you have my number, why didn't you call me once you landed?" she asked slowly.

"I did. But, your number was switched off. I then called Tulasi who told me you were sleeping"

"Oh" So, the mobile was switched off, long before I saw it.

"Why didn't you charge your mobile?" he asked seriously.

She shifted her legs awkwardly as she answered "Um, I thought no one would call me"

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I never get any calls. EVER." It's a partial truth.

Precisely the same moment, her mobile rang making her groan in impatience.

"Won't you check who it is?" he asked, biting his lower lip to stop smiling.

"It's probably my boyfriend" she replied casually, without a care in the world.

Karthik's eyes widened. She has a boyfriend?

Seeing his expression, Sindhu tensely added "I meant Customer Care. He never fails to call me thrice a day"

She walked towards the charger where her mobile was charged and took the call.

"It's him, my hot boyfriend" she said sarcastically making him chuckle.

"By the way, why is it here? I didn't put it for charging" when she saw him, she added "You did?"

He nodded making her ask another question "Why?"

"Because whenever I called you, it was switched off. We use mobiles to talk to people, you know?" he said in the same sarcastic tone that she uses.

She smiled sheepishly "You could have called Tulasi and told her ---"

"I did. Twice. Once you were sleeping, the other time you were in the bath"

"Oh. But, she didn't tell----"

"I told that I called for her when she asked if she should inform anything to you. I didn't want her to feel like a messenger."

Oh. Poor woman must have known I was sulking and felt guilty for our differences, Sindhu thought sadly.

"Can I ask you something?" he started. Seeing her nod, he continued "Why were you mad at me when it's you who didn't charge your mobile?"

"I was not" she yelled at him.

He smiled "Really? I can see through your lies, you know"

"I am NOT lying" Yes, she is. But, he need not know that.

She realized that she should make up for what she did to him; she really was stupid.

He got up from the bed and walked towards her "What are you thinking?"

"Hmm??" she looked at him and added quickly "Nothing"

"Tulasi told me that she wants to go shopping. Shall we go?"

She was about to say yes when she suddenly realized that this was her chance to do something for him. She can cook his favorite food when the two went to shopping.

"Sindhu..."

"Huh? Um.. I am sorry, I can't. You guys carry on"

"Why? What happened?"

"Um.. I-- Um.. I have cramps" she lied.

"What are cramps?" he asked in concern.

"I meant stomach pain. I will stay back, you guys can go"

"You have stomach pain? Let's go to doctor then" he said in a worried tone.

"It's not necessary. I am used to it"

"How can you say it's not necessary when it's common?"

"Karthik.. I get it every month" she said slowly, hoping he catches her point.

"Every month? And yet, you don't see a doctor?" he asked in a disbelieving tone.

"Karthik. It's Ok" she started awkwardly and added in a rather embarrassed tone "It's what every girl faces"

"What do you mean----" He stopped himself when he realized what she was implying.

When Sindhu turned to look at him, all her awkwardness disappeared seeing him blush; it's such a wonderful sight to watch.

"Um. I will tell Tulasi then. Take rest" he said shyly, leaving her alone.

When they were ready to go, she informed them not to have dinner outside as she'll be cooking for them. They agreed and left, before advising her to take care of herself.

Once they left, Sindhu kept herself busy with cooking; she wanted everything to be perfect for him. Yet, for the first time ever, she felt bad for not knowing how to cook non-vegetarian. She decided to learn how to cook non-veg for the next time when she'll plan something special.

Once she was done with everything and arranged it on the dining table, she bathed and continued to wait for them.

---

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