Another week, another update!

How was this week for you? Uni hasn't started yet where I'm from, but I'm doing my practice (placement? internship? whatever you may call it.) and it's been real fun until now. On that note, let me thank my dear old friend, coffee, for keeping up with my crazy sleeping schedules!

Sleep? Who's she?  😅

Please show your love ❤️ with your vote! You can't imagine how happy such a small act makes writers feel. If you don't want to, that's okay. I'm more than glad you read and enjoy my story!

Without further ado, let's get on with the story! Hope you enjoy!

Take care! ~ J ❤️

Erika's POV:

"Markus you won't go in there?"

"Stella, she baked a whole pie. You know what that means," my brother whisper-yelled outside my bedroom door, shuffling, probably with his hand on the doorknob ready to barge in. 

"I know, but you can't wake her up right now. Not when she's struggling with sleep these past couple of days."

"She needs someone to bring her back to her senses. Baking can't be the first thing she does when returning home; especially after all these sleepless nights. She didn't even make a sound." 

"Let her get some rest. I'm sure whatever has happened, she'll come to us." 

It's been a week since I last saw Brandon. A long, fucking week.

I couldn't face him, or my feelings.

He lost that match. And the next.

Tonight was his last chance to turn the tables for himself, if he wanted to enter the league for Autumn.

The media and his fans were going crazy over his losses, while others blamed his previous wins on enhancing drugs. People were poking their nose were it didn't belong, ignoring everything he accomplished 'til now, condemning the Guardian in a fate he didn't deserve.

Jax said he was a mess. 

I didn't tell them what transpired between us, but they knew we were both falling apart because of whatever happened. Surprisingly, my brother didn't push me to contact Brandon. Instead, he remained quiet through all this, hanging by a threat himself as he watched his sister and favorite athlete fall apart. 

Tonight, he wasn't having it. I knew Stella couldn't hold him for much longer; not when I was making her task even more difficult. Markus was at his limit and was doing his best to persuade her to talk to me. 

This morning Stella found me in the kitchen, trying to hide myself behind strong favors and flour. She was still sleepy, coming in the kitchen to get some water, when she saw the mess surrounding me first, before she settled her eyes on me, staring at another royal mess there.

She came closer, steps slow, as if I was a scared, wounded animal. "Is everything alright?" she asked, before I cried my eyes out on her shoulder. She didn't ask anymore questions, just tried to piece the information I was spewing out in bits. Most didn't even make any sense.

Her swift conclusion was simple: if I truly wanted him, if my feelings for him were strong and unbearable to bottle up, then I should do what my heart wanted. But whatever road I chose, she'd be by my side. She promised that Markus would also have my back, but how could I take advantage of their kindness like that? 

Was putting them in harm's way worth staying in Brandon's world?

It was unfair to both, but I didn't tell her what Brandon told me or voice my concerns about our safety. I couldn't. Not when I didn't have all the facts myself.

I felt guilty for worrying them. It wasn't my intention, truly, but after a very tiring shift at the hospital, the minute I walked through the door the only thing that could bring some solace to my mind was the smell of pumpkin and cinnamon and cream and flour all over the place. 

That was also the reason behind Markus' breakdown now. He saw the pie, the motif always the same. 

"She'll come to you. She never talks to me, anymore."

"You know that's not true... Your sister loves you. You're her favorite. And you're mine too." 

I knew her voice and words were soothing my twin's hurt ego, because in the next moment I heard Stella's soft giggles and bodies shuffling; they were probably kissing. 

My gut twisted in something that almost tasted like jealousy. It was so easy for them. Their love was easier, just like the love between two best friends. 

"Go in the car. I'll go check on her and come back to you, okay?"

"You better."

I bit my lip, wanting this as well. 

Shaking my head, I wiped the tears that were still wet on my cheeks, when Stella opened the door to my room. My eyes met her surprised ones, as I was already wide awake; sleep never welcomed me in its numb state these past couple of days. Still, staying in bed, under the warmth of my comforter, was so much more appealing than facing the world; or at least attempting to sort through the emotional whirlwind that were my thoughts.

"Hey, chica? Did we wake you?" Stella laid next to me on top of my comforter, reaching for my hand, as we both stared at the ceiling.

"Not really. What time is it?" She showed me the screen of her phone; another hour before Brandon's game. 

"So, he's your favorite, huh?" was my attempt at a joke. 

"Oh, you Ricci siblings are so possessive. You're both my favorites. In different ways, obviously!"

She shoved my shoulder playfully, and I rolled my eyes, because what she said was true. We had possessive tendencies and loved reassurance. We weren't great at making new friends; it's why both Markus and I never strayed away from each other for long. We couldn't. We were all we had, until Stella came along. She became the catalyst between us and the rest of the world.

"Are you coming tonight?" Her tone was soft as she turned to look at me, searching my eyes for any clues. 

"Not sure...."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I... Stella?" Another sigh left my lips.

"Yeah?"

"What would you do if you wanted to be with someone so bad, but all the circumstances pushed you towards opposite directions?"

"Well, if it was me, I'd push back. Get what I want," she said, an air of conviction in her words.

"Yeah, but... what if being with him puts everyone else in danger?"

"Is this about you and Brandon?" The words wanted to spill out of my lips, but instead I nodded affirmatively. Her hand reached for mine, a warm smile on her face that reached her eyes; my brother was so damn lucky to have her in his life. I was too.

"If the person was making me feel happy, I would fight for him. Fight alongside him." 

Fight alongside him.

It wasn't that easy. Not when the person I wanted to be the closest to, pulled away.

But he did give me a choice. If I was ready to be with him, know him better, it came with the consequences of knowledge and the burden he was carrying.

Was I ready for that?

"I might have taken the time to reconsider the situation, but in the end, if my feelings were strong enough, I would end up next to him." 

She turned her gaze towards the white ceiling again, biting her lip as she lost herself in her own thoughts. I wondered how many times Stella had to reconsider her feelings for Markus and the risks she was taking if the two didn't work out. The three of us lived together, worked together and came home to each other. She risked everything for the one she loved.

"Judging by the pumpkin-pie cooling on the counter, I'd say you've already done that."

Stella was gone after that, and I took a much needed shower to cool down. 

She was right. I didn't even realize I was already forming a plan, a summary in my head, but the main objective wasn't yet clear. 

In my head, I was ready, but as I laid on my bed after my shower, wrapped in a towel, I felt nothing. It was the first time in such a long time; no thoughts reached my brain. 

Nothing. Niente. Nada.

I should feel conflicted, scared of all the things he warned me about. He was surrounded by corrupt, dangerous people, that could be a danger to me and my family, but somehow the thoughts were numbed. 

I wasn't fearless. 

I wasn't overconfident. 

I was just numb. And that was more dangerous.

It was silent in my room. And then it wasn't; the soft pitter-patter sound of rain started hitting my windows. I chuckled. It was so random, but just like Summer, the beginning of Autumn in Chicago could be so misleading. One moment it was warm, the next it was raining like Italy in December.

Stella and Markus had already taken the car, which left me with no choice.

Maybe that was a choice on its own. It wasn't like I could walk to the arena the entire way, especially in this weather.

'It's a sign,' I thought to myself, clutching on the towel still wrapped around my body as I stared outside the window. The rain was only getting stronger, but the temperature was still high; the fan on the ceiling doing nothing to cool down my body. 

Maybe I could walk to the gym in boots and a bikini. That could work.

I was brought back to reality when my phone started vibrating on my bedside table, the vibrations on the wooden furniture startling me. 

'Jaxon'

I was ready for an earful, as I held the phone beside my ear.

"Where the hell are you?"

"Hello to you, too." Sarcasm rolled off my tone as I rolled my eyes at his always-to-the-point attitude.

"The match is about to start, and you're nowhere to be found." I didn't know how to respond to his statement; didn't get to that part of my plan. "I don't get it." 

"What don't you get?"

 "Weren't you saying you liked him? Didn't you want to get to know him better?" He sighed disappointed, and that was somehow worse. 

Silence followed his words, as I bit my lip, pained.

"I'm coming to get you. You have twelve minutes to get ready, before I start banging on your door." 

"Twelve minu- Wait! Jax, no, you don't have-"

"Make that eight. Markus gave me his keys, so you better be dressed. I would like to keep my head on my body, if you don't mind."

I didn't have time to argue, before the line was disconnected. I chuckled, thinking who would have Jax's head first if he saw me naked; Markus or Brandon. Both would get worked up about it, probably switch to their all-protective-savage-modes, and although seeing Brandon like that created amusing images in my mind, it'd be unfair to Jax.

This wasn't part of the plan. 

Or maybe this was the sign I needed.

Jaxon didn't have to wait for long. I got into his car without delay, wrapping my hands in front of my chest in a silent protest.

"He didn't tell you."

I turned to look at him, before concentrating on the scenery in front of us.

"He didn't tell you, but he told you something. He told you to stay away. That it's for your own safety." 

He got no reply from me. Jax knew more than I did, it was obvious, and I hoped my silence would urge him to share a little of his knowledge with me.

"He wasn't lying, you know." He sighed, his hands clenching around the steering wheel.

"Not knowing puts me in more danger," I said seriously, not meeting his gaze.

"You're right, but look at you. You're still coming." 

"Well, you didn't give me much choice, now, did you?" I turned around, just on time to see the soft smirk playing at the corner of his lips, before it was gone.

"Who are you trying to fool, huh? I gave you the incentive, it was your choice to step out of your house and into the car."

"Shut up." I shook my head stubbornly.  "I thought it was a sign."

That annoying, playful grin was back on his face, and I was contemplating whether or not to slap it off his face or feel content in the weird friendship between us.

"What the hell was that for?" His ragged voice boomed inside the car, one hand protecting his face, the other gripping the wheel tightly, as I held back a chuckle.

I chose both.

"You know what he calls me?" I asked Jax after a few minutes of silence.

"Enlighten me."

"He calls me 'Angel'." I couldn't hold back the smile from spreading on my lips. "Ever since we met that first day, that's what he always calls me."

His lips turned upwards, before he shook his head in amusement.

"Seems about right."

Content, I relaxed back on my seat... until we hit the main road.

Jaxon was determined to kill us at the insane speed he was driving at, but other than a couple of "Slow down!" 's and "Jaxon, che diavolo, are you trying to kill us? I want to see my man alive and not minutes before they put me in a body bag!" 's, we remained silent for the remainder of our short trip.

Tonight was the first time they were hosting a fight at Brandon's gym and, for some reason, I was more nervous than all his previous fights.

Trying to calm my nerves, I thought about him, letting all the cobwebs in my brain rage on with all the memories we had together. The intensity of his green forest eyes, the warmth of his touch on my chilled skin, the goosebumps, the shivers, the kisses down my neck. 

I remembered Brandon's own memory, the one he willingly shared with me; his father helping him with his fears and guiding him as he grew up. It wasn't necessarily an unpleasant memory, but I couldn't help but wonder:

What was Brandon most afraid of now? 

What did I fear?

The conclusion was simple: never seeing him again scared me the most.

A new determination took over my senses and each step became more deliberate, as I walked through those doors as I did a week ago.

I knew what my presence at tonight's event meant for both of us. I couldn't risk everything, but, at the same time, I couldn't back down either. 

I wanted to take the risk. For him. For us. 

The only way this could work was if it stayed under wraps, away from the public's eye and definitely without them - whoever the hell they were - getting a sniff of our situation. So being discreet was the only option. 

The same stage I had breakfast with Brandon just a week ago at the dawn of day, was now surrounded by excited fans, their cheers uncontrollable, as they awaited for the athletes to perform. I was glad for their loud cheers; they were louder than my thoughts, as I blended with the crowd.

After all these days, I thought I was ready. But nothing prepared me for the scene that welcomed us, as we took our seats at the front of the crowd.

Nothing prepared me for the chills erupting on my skin, the moment his eyes found me in the crowd. 

He was beautiful, strong, dangerous. 

Angry.

His fists were clenched by his side, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, as his eyes traveled down my body. 

No, my presence stirred something else, something stronger beside anger, but I couldn't name it yet. Under the intensity of his eyes, I felt dizzy, but still, couldn't break eye contact at the prospect, the promises I wanted him to keep. All the things he wanted to do. 

All the things I wanted him to do... to me.

___

I love writing this book. I can't pick one, all my characters are my favorite ones. My babies.

Please show your love with your vote! You can't imagine how happy such a small act could make me feel.

I've asked this in a previous chapter, but if we had to choose, when would you say Brandon, Erika and Jax were born? What do you say, shall we make this a game?

Comment when you think they were born: Month, Date, Zodiac sign? Let's make this fun.

Brandon.

Erika.

Jaxon. (I might be wrong, but I think he's a Capricorn baby.)

I'm truly thankful and love all of you angels so much!! 

Most of us are mostly lost in our thoughts, and that's fine. What's not fine, is hurting ourselves with things as feather light as a thought. If you're NOT fine, if you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to dm me. Know, that you'll always have people willing to listen! 

Take care of yourselves!

xo J