Laura's POV

I was in a rather comfortable evening dress considering how tight it was. It was long, black, and a little shimmery at the bottom. It wasn't mine. I didn't own any fancy dresses. I hadn't been to any special events in a long time. It actually belonged to Anita my twin. She was a bit smaller than me but the material was stretchy. She gave me the dress when I showed up at her doorstep unannounced and desperate. She was just so freaking happy to see me, she would have given me anything.

I thought about calling her but the surprise seemed more her style. She loved surprises. She was married now. Her and Axel had their own place. It was big and gorgeous and close to mom's house. I think Axel wanted her to be close to our family.

I was there for their small intimate wedding. It was a destination wedding actually and we all flew out to the tropics. It was elegant and peaceful just as I imagined my sister's wedding to be. They were so in love. It almost made me envious. I wanted love but at that time I had it, I didn't believe I could have it.

I thought the only love I could get was out of pity. Chris loved me... unconditionally but I was too broken to believe it.

I couldn't take his love because I wasn't ready for it. Love was the farthest thing on my mind. I didn't care that I was using him. I didn't care that my actions would hurt him. I was foolish and incredibly selfish.

I rejected love. It was my defense.

I told Anita about my reason for arriving earlier than planned. I was supposed to come home for Demi's wedding but came a week ahead to go to Will's award ceremony. I was planning on buying a dress but she insisted I wear one of hers since she hardly wore them anyway.

Honestly I was so thankful. I wasn't in the mood for shopping. She was thrilled to dress me up and do my hair and makeup. It was a great time for us to catch up.

I felt so freakin guilty. So much had happened to them. They were even talking about having kids. How could I have missed so much?

I felt like a terrible human being.

I didn't realize how disconnected I was from everyone. I got used to a routine. I got used to pushing people away, even my family.

I took a drink off of a tray one of the waiters flashed in my face. I needed a little liquid courage. Will told me Chris would be here tonight. He wasn't the reason I came but yet it gave me butterflies. I came to support Will.

The event was held in a huge hotel's conference hall. It was plainly decorated. Round tables with the purest white table clothes were gathered in the center while the sides were empty for people to walk about.

I stayed in the back, wanting to be a shadow. Will gave his speech shortly after I arrived. I stood among a small crowd as he spoke. I wasn't sure if he saw me and I wasn't sure I wanted to congratulate him tonight with so many people around.

He mentioned Chris in his speech and I held my breath. Will thanked a lot more people and then walked off the stage. An uproar of applauses sounded off from everywhere and suddenly it felt a bit tight in the room to me.

I spotted Chris in the left corner surrounded by other medical professionals. He definitely stood out and not just because he was so tall. His black hair was gelled back, jaw shaven, and tie knotted seamlessly. His shoulders seemed broader in the tight black suit.

Oh God. He looked the same. He was so gorgeous.

I had a huge pit in my stomach and it was getting difficult to breath. I thought about ditching, just to get the hell out of there.

The moment I thought about running Will called my name, in shock.

I guess he really didn't expect me to come. I swallowed my nerves and hugged him. He was happy to see me and I could say the same. I loved him company.

"You made it."

We pulled away and I apologized. "I'm sorry I made you doubt it." I was such a douche.

"You're here. It counts." His smile reached the moon and it calmed me more than he could ever know.

A stunning woman came up behind him. She wore a red gown that complemented her gorgeous, thick black hair and tan skin. She was obviously a friend of Will's. I felt like she was sort of shadowing him.

Maybe she was the woman he was dating.

"Laura I want you to meet Sahirah."

I quickly and politely extended my hand. Her dark eyes although fierce reflected kindness towards me.

"Its nice to meet you." Her accent was almost silent.

I was honestly mesmerized by her. She seemed so elegant. It made me feel a bit insecure.

She seemed like the type of woman who would have home cooked meals for him when he got home from a rough day at work. She seemed like a woman who would support him and love him through thick and thin.

"And you. I love your dress."

She smiled and her perfect white teeth nearly robed me blind. Wow.

"Thank you. Are you a friend of William's or colleague?"

So he hasn't told her about me? What a gentleman.

"A friend." I couldn't really put a label on Will. "I came to congratulate you and now I'm leaving."

Both Will and his date were confused. "Why?"

I stared off in the direction I last saw Chris. Big mistake. Chris was staring right at me with the most perplexing look on his face. Maybe he couldn't believe I was really here either, in the flesh.

I didn't blame him. I was a ghost.

"Go say hi to him." Will whispered beside me.

But I was frozen in place. His intense staring contest was causing my mind to replay the last moments I saw him. The moment I broke his heart.

I shook my head. " I can't." Not only because I was a chicken but also I didn't want to ruin Chris' night. "Not tonight."

It wasn't the right time.

I turned to face Will and his date again. "It was so nice to meet you. Have a wonderful night."

"Laura wait," Will grabbed my shoulder and leaned in. "How long are you in town for?"

"3 months." I lowered my gaze embarrassed. "I have a lot of things I need to mend."

My relationships with my family and friends.

"That's great. I... if you need to keep busy at all I can get you a job back at the hospital. I can pull a few strings."

He knew me well. I love distractions.

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

It was a practical offer that I knew I'd probably take. I went to Anita's that night. We stayed up most of the time. I enjoyed her stories. She told me about the adventures she had with our nieces and nephews. She had a new job and Axel was rising higher in the company.

Anita now owned her own gallery and even asked if I had new work to show her. I hadn't painted anything since I left. That only encouraged her to volunteer her home studio to me.

It was a great room in the back of the house with the best lighting. She had a few pieces on display and I admired her beautiful art. She was very talented herself. She used a realistic approach that I loved.

We went together to spend some time with mom the next morning. Mom was hysterical with joy. She wasn't expecting me this early.

I somehow managed to slip out later that night to go see Demi. She was currently living with her sister but I knew most of her things were already at Daniel's place. He owned a home and they agreed to keep it.

They lived in a great part of town. I went over once when I was dating Will. It was a two story house with a Victorian feel to it.

I knocked on her door nervously. Why was I nervous?

Demi was the one to answer and I smiled sheepishly. I was honestly so thrilled and happy to see her. She looked so beautiful. Her cute blonde hair was in a messy bun. She wore a oversize sweater and tight black jeans.

She squealed in excitement and jumped into my arms. We squeezed each other so freakin tight I thought we'd both pop.

"You're here!" She cried almost unbelieving.

"I'm here." I confirmed.

She pulled me inside and our mouths never stopped moving. There was so much to say. We chatted for 2 straight hours that was until she had to start dinner. She was having a few friends over and asked me to stay.

I couldn't refuse. I lent her my hands and helped her make the best pasta Alfredo.

The kitchen had a white marble island in the middle that complimented beautifully with the black cabinets. I knew Daniel had taste but this was fantastic. It was open concept which made it look spacious and clean.

She started on the dessert as I continued to stir the creamy Alfredo. It smelt amazing. There was so much garlic, I was in heaven.

"Have you packed everything?"

"Just about."

"I'm really happy for you." Daniel was so good to her. I knew this from the way she talked about him. She wasn't the type of person to hold in her emotions. If she wasn't ridiculous happy the world would know.

"You introduced us. You're the reason I'm so happy. You're the reason I'll be marrying the love of my life in a few days."

It was as if she was thanking me. I tried opening my mouth but the doorbell rang.

"Can you get that?"

"Sure." She wasn't finished with the cake.

I was shocked and relieved to find Jamie and Aaron on the other side of the door. It was a glorious reunion. Then it was Sarah and Michael right behind them. Edith and her husband and then suddenly I got the impression this was a couples dinner.

I couldn't even escape if I wanted to. The girls dragged me into the kitchen. Jamie started pouring wine and hounding me with questions. Honestly the wine helped loosen me up. I didn't like opening up especially about my darker side, my past.

We set the table and I noticed there were three empty seats. One was for Daniel who was running late but who-

The door bell rang right on cue.

Sarah went to answer it this time. I was listening to Edith explain how she got her foot stuck in a trashcan by one of her students when I heard the deep haunting voice of a man I could never erase from existence.

Chris? Chris freakin Compton was here?

I couldn't breath. I was practically hyperventilating when Demi came up behind me.

"I'm sorry. I forgot Daniel invited him."

She didn't know the whole story with him. I didn't tell her how badly I treated him. I was ashamed and it was a long story. I knew I'd tell her eventually but I wanted today to be nice and about her.

"I didn't know they were friends."

"They became friends working with Will." She gave the simplest explanation. I should have known.

He walked into the dining area where we were all just about to take our seats.

Chris wasn't alone.

He was smiling, greeting his cousin Michael when he turned to survey the room. He obviously didn't expect me to be there because his delighted expression disappeared. His eyes widened and his jaw tightened.

The girl next to him was cute and petite. She had a kind, shy, naive face. Not that I think she was naive. I guess she looked young and very pretty.

She had pale, gorgeous skin and burnt orange, curly hair. She stood behind Chris as if not really knowing anyone.

I didn't know he had a girlfriend. I never even considered it. Never, never would allow myself to think it.

Edith introduced herself and gave the newcomer a hug. I couldn't take the heat of his eyes on me anymore so I rushed into the kitchen to help Demi grab the food. Jamie was of course behind me.

"Look she's nobody. This is the first time he's brought her around us." Jamie was trying to comfort me. She had always been team Chris.

"Its fine." I prayed I could pretend a nice, happy face for the rest of the night because honestly I felt like I was just punched in the stomach.

"No its not. I saw your face when you saw him. You still love him." Jamie spoke with the warmest sympathy.

Even having ignored them for nearly a year they still had my back. That alone made me want to cry. I didn't deserve my friends.

Damn it Jamie. I couldn't exactly mask my emotions when I saw him.

"It doesn't matter." I didn't want to ruin his happiness. I had already done too much damage.

"I'm so sorry Laura. It slipped my mind. We were catching up and it just... I wasn't thinking."

I didn't want Demi to feel guilty. It wasn't her fault. Chris and I had our own issues. It was my fault.

"No. It's fine." I grabbed the pasta and headed back into the dining room.

I wanted to pass out but instead braved a face after several deep breathes.

I sat at the end of the table. Thankful no one was sitting across from me. I wouldn't have to directly face him.

The conversation went smoothly and everyone enjoyed the food. I praised Demi while she tried giving me the credit. Daniel arrived 30 minutes into our dinner course. He apologized but no one condemned him.

He was dressed in casual slacks and a shirt. He most likely showered at the hospital. He greeted Demi first with a sweet, lingering kiss. It was one of those moments where the kiss made everything else in the world disappear.

Chris was able to do that for me. It was instinct to look at him after thinking it but I held my gaze on the lace tablecloth. It was crazy how a kiss with the right person could stop time and make everything else meaningless.

I hadn't felt that way about a kiss since him.

Chris' girlfriend's name was Samantha. She was an elementary teacher at his little cousin's school. They met one day when he had to pick up Clark's little sister from school.

She was actually shy like I predicted. She blushed a lot out of nervous habit. She was soft spoken and so gentle. I doubt she'd kill a spider.

"Laura what have you been up to the past few month?" Michael asked the inevitable question I knew was coming.

Luckily I kind of prepared myself for it. "Working. Joining a fight club-"

"What?" Jamie couldn't hold her tongue and I loved her for it.

It did sound a bit ridiculous. "I started learning self dense. So I can protect myself."

I had this urge to look up at Chris. He was on the left side of me three chairs down, so not terribly far. He seemed dazed like he was trying hard not to react.

He was good at holding in emotion which made me yearn to know what he actually felt.

"I want to say sorry to all of you." I knew this was my chance. Chris probably wouldn't speak to me again after what I did to him. "I isolated myself from you. I was in a bad place. I was hurt. Everyone kept reaching out to me but I knew I wasn't ready. I was bleeding and I didn't want to bleed onto any of you."

I went down the line, acknowledging everyone of my friends' faces. I saved Chris for last. I bled all over him and he took it. He tried patching me up but I couldn't heal.

I knew Sarah, Demi, Jamie, and Dania felt guilty about what happened to me that night. They had beat themselves up about it. They regretted not going with me. They regretted leaving me alone with that monster. Maybe that was why they forgave my absence. Maybe it was their guilty conscious. But I didn't want them to feel guilty.

It wasn't anyone of their faults. It happened and I was alright now.

"Pain, hurt changed me. It made me ashamed. It made me not trust myself. It made me push everyone away. And I'm sorry." I stared into Chris' emerald eyes. I felt so exposed.

His lips parted and I nearly held my breath thinking he'd say something but Sarah beat him to it.

"Laura there's nothing to forgive. We all deal with things different. We're just so glad you're back with us."

"We missed you." Jamie and Edith said at the same time.

I could feel they had. Tonight felt like we could pick up things where we left off.

I shifted the subject off of me and onto the wedding festivities. I think it was enough serious talk for one night. I didn't plan on opening up like that but it felt so good doing it.

"So how long have you two been dating?" Jamie pointed from Chris to Samantha. She probably already knew. Aaron her boyfriend was cousins with Chris.

What was she up to?

"3 months." Chris spoke sternly looking down at his plate of cheesecake. He hadn't touched it.

"Aww that's not enough time to actually know a person." Where was Jamie going with this?

Samantha smiled, looked up at Chris lovingly and nodded. "Feels like I've known him my whole life."

Classic cliche.

Jamie scrunched her face, emphasizing her fake smile. "Cuuutte."

The way Samantha was looking at Chris made my stomach hurt. She adored him,  after only 3 months. I mean what wasn't there to love about him. I wondered what he was like with her. He had 2 sides with me. Chris had been rough and brutal in the beginning but towards the end of our relationship he was the most tender, sweet man imaginable.

I couldn't picture him being rough with such a petite and gentle woman.

"Well he's messy." Jamie started her rant and I wanted to laugh. She was trying so hard for me.

"Jamie," Chris groaned. He was obviously annoyed but Samantha was entertained.

"What?" Jamie brushed it off. "You are. He eats a lot, like a garbage disposal. Look at those muscles. He's got to feed them. Oh and he snores. It's the worst."

That I was pretty sure she was making up. Chris didn't snore that bad.

"I've heard it. It's tolerable." She giggled.

She heard it. Did that mean... Maybe not. I didn't want to jump to conclusions. It would only make me sad.

Jamie frowned then got distracted with something on Samantha's hand. "That's a pretty ring."

"Chris gave it to me." She spoke proudly.

I couldn't take anymore. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to know.

"Can I see it?" All of a sudden as Jamie sweeps her hand over to inspect the ring she 'accidently' knocks over a full glass of wine. "Oh. Oh my gosh."

The white wine spills all over Samantha's lap. She panics as Demi gets up to help her.

If I know Jamie that was no accident.

"Aww maybe you should go home and change." Jamie for a split second looked at me and winked.

I wanted to smack my forehead. I never asked her to do any of it but shamefully it made me feel better.

"Come with me. I'll let you borrow some clothes." Demi insisted.

Chris stood back a little helpless. I could tell he wanted to calm her embarrassment but didn't know what else to do. Samantha followed Demi's lead and they walked out of the dining room.

There was an awkward silence in the air and that was when I knew it was time for me to go.

"I'm gonna head home. It was nice seeing you guys." No one was going to talk me out of leaving.

Jamie was a bit disappointed but her, Edith, and Sarah walked me to the door. We hugged and I made promises to see them again soon. I'd text Demi later to thank her and schedule another coffee date.

I thought I was in the clear but I heard someone follow me to my car. I turned around thinking it would be anyone but Chris.

His face was a emotionless as stone. My heart couldn't stop racing. I swear I was about to have a heart attack.

Breathe Laura. Breathe.

I leaned against my car waiting for him,  anticipating what he'd say. Was he mad about Samantha? Did he think I put Jamie up to it?

Chris was wearing a leather jacket and black jeans to match. He paused 2 feet away from me. His eyes were so dominate over me. If he asked me anything I'd give it to him.