10. Forgetting Pain

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-Laura's POV-

I couldn't sleep. Oh gosh, and I didn't even know why. I was just restless and it was killing me because I had work in four hours. I tossed the covers aside and got up. What was the point in staying in bed when I knew there was no way I was going back to sleep? I might as well go to work early. The hospital was pestering people for extra work hours anyway.

It was a thirty minute drive there and by the time I did arrive it was 4am. Nancy, the night shift nurse, gave me the strangest look before checking the time on her phone.

"It's a little early for you to come in, don't you think hun?" Nancy was the sweetest person I knew in that hospital and she was growing on me like more of a mother figure.

"I know but I couldn't sleep and figured you could use an extra pair of hands."

She smiled, delighted for my help. "Of course I could."

Nancy handed me a couple of clipboards and I headed off to work. I went through a ton of files and papers before checking up on a few patients. It was about 6am when I decided to visit one of my favorite patients in the building. I opened the door as quietly as I could so I wouldn't wake him up but to my surprise he was already up.

His full head of curly blond hair was peeking over the covers. His beautiful blue eyes were looking at me with such excitement. He was obviously pleased to see me.

"Laura, Laura you came." His cheery voice echoed in the plain white room.

I pulled his tiny five year old body into my arms and held him tight. "Of course I did and I brought you something."

I took the bar of Twix out of my pocket and gave it to him. Jayden snatched it from my hands and aggressively started opening it. I laughed.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you," he chanted over and over while hugging me.

"You're welcome."

He devoured the chocolate bar like it was the last one on earth. I had a habit of bringing him sweets but I couldn't help it. The innocent little boy had already captured my heart the moment I meet him. Life was tough on him. I just wanted to make it a little better.

Jayden was on his own. His parents had died in a car crash and his only remaining relative didn't give a crap about him. He survived the accident but was diagnosed with cancer when his blood work came back. There were months of chemotherapy after but nothing worked.

Jayden somehow became a lab rat for a new drug that was specifically made for his type of rare cancer.

He was happy his hair got to grow back and for a while he did feel better, like his old self. That was why I spent most of my spare time checking up on him. He had turned into a priority for me. There wasn't a day I could go without seeing him.

"How did you sleep sweetheart?"

He flashed me a big smile that melted my heart all over again. "Goooood."

I ruffled his hair before getting up. "I have a few more rounds to do but I'll be back in an hour, okay? Try and get some more sleep."

He agreed but I knew better. That candy bar was probably going to keep him wide awake. It was technically my fault. I had a bad habit of spoiling him. I had a weakness for children.

I spent the next hour doing boring checkups again while remaining half asleep. I bet I looked awful, with heavy black bags under my eyes. Gross. But then again none of the patients care how I looked.

When I got back to Jayden's room he wasn't up anymore. He was lying back in his bed and he was breathing heavily. I rushed over to him and placed my hand over his forehead. His skin was ghostly white and he was burning up.

Inside I started to panic but I put a smile on and asked him, "Honey how are you feeling?"

His piercing baby blue eyes were absorbed in pain. "I feel tired."

I took a deep breath. Deep down I knew it wasn't just a fever.

"Ok baby. I'm going to go get the doctor. He'll make you feel better." He nodded his little head and closed his eyes.

I was out of there faster than you could even imagine. I power walked down the hall to the elevators. I had to go straight to the man I knew would help right away.

Dr. Stevens was the best cardio doctor in the US which was a great accomplishment considering his age. He had reached his prime at 29 and instead of going to a hospital that could fund all his projects, he settled down for the little hospital I worked in.

I spotted him next to the front desk talking to another nurse. I interrupted not caring that the beach blonde nurse trying to put the moves on Dr. Stevens would give me the stink eye. I didn't blame her though. Dr. Stevens was like McDreamy and McSteamy put together.

"Dr. Stevens..."

He turned at the sound of my voice and greeted me with a bright smile. I swear his teeth were perfect but everything else about him was too. His hazel eyes surveyed my worried expressions and he quickly met me halfway.

"Is something wrong nurse Brown?" Wow. He knew my name.

I nodded. "Yes. It's one of the patients, Jayden Hall. Please Dr. Stevens will you check on him?"

"Of course."

I took the lead and he followed close behind. Jayden was lying helplessly on his back. Dr. Stevens talked to Jayden to distract him from the physical exam. Then he studied the charts on the monitor. His face gave nothing away.

Dr. Stevens put his stethoscope back around his neck and said a few parting words before walking back to me.

His hand gently went to my back. "Let's talk outside."

My heart dropped. That was never a good line. His hand fell to my shoulder, probably out of sympathy. I couldn't keep my emotions at bay. With all the experience I had in witnessing death you'd think I could handle this better.

"His heart is quickly giving out."

I shut my eyes to keep the tears in. "I thought he was getting better. The drugs were working."

Dr. Stevens' eyes surveyed my response. My fondness for Jayden was personal.

"He's not going to make it Laura. His heart just can't take it and operating on him now would only kill him quicker."

"No..." God, this was not happening.

"Laura, look at me."

I focused on his hazel eyes even though my heart was breaking.

"I want you to spend the rest of the day with him and give him something more for the pain."

My sweet little Jayden was suffering. "How much longer does he have?"

"A few hours."

All I wanted to do was cry; run into an empty room and cry. "Okay," I said numbly.

Dr. Stevens didn't let me go. Both his hands went to my shoulders where he held me firmly. "Are you going to be okay?" His concern was strange but incredibly comforting.

"Yes," I whispered.

I bet he was expecting me to be more professional. I wanted to be. This job would be so much easier if I didn't get emotionally involved.

"If you need anything, call for me."

"Thank you."

His hands left me and I walked back into the room. As soon as I reached the bed I pulled Jayden into my arms.

"Can you read me a book?" His weak voice asked optimistically.

"The Cat and the Hat?" I knew it was his favorite.

"Yes...please." It was getting hard for him to speak.

I took the book and read as my heart was aching with pain. Why was this happening? Why did he have to die? After the second hour Jayden fell asleep cradled in my arms. I brushed back his hair, humming my favorite lullabies. I began to pray, more passionately than ever in my life. The prayer wasn't for me. It was for a sweet baby boy who had so much to live for.

I was never the type to question God's motives but today I did. Why would he take something so precious away from me? I was being selfish. Jayden had gone through so much. He lost his parents and was constantly fighting for life. Maybe God only wanted to stop the suffering. God wanted to take him to heaven where he would struggle no more.

The monitors started to beep uncontrollably. I turned them off preparing myself for what was coming. Jayden never opened his eyes again, he never stirred.

The sweet baby boy took his last breath and that was when I finally let myself weep.

I wanted my day to end there but it didn't. Sarah needed my help setting up for the wedding. The church was empty and in need of decorations. I wanted to ditch and forget about even showing up. Why not? She had plenty of helpers considering how big her and Michael's families were.

I didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want to face anyone but I forced myself to go. She needed me; not just to help set up but she needed my support, my presence. I couldn't be selfish at a time like this. So I swallowed my breaking heart and pulled myself together especially since Demi came knocking on my doorstep demanding I go.

By the time we got there most of the major decorations were already hung. White satin fabrics were draped from every side of the church. It was starting to look like a pretty dream.

"Oh Laura, thank goodness you're here. For a second I didn't think you'd come." Dania came up from behind me, looping her arm around me and pulling towards a table of beautiful flowers. She had no idea how close I was to not coming.

"Sorry."

Dania smiled then all too quickly her face went back to the Nazi control wedding planner. "You're here now and I need you to arrange these flowers like we discussed. You are like the only one with the creative sense to make these look good."

"Thank you...I guess."

Dania turned on her heels and was gone by the time I glanced over at the church doors. I guess I wouldn't mind doing this simple task. It will at least get my mind off of things and that was what I needed. I just wanted to forget everything.

But forgetting everything didn't last long. There were people working around me; putting things up or scrambling about trying to look busy no doubt so Dania wouldn't put them to work. I noticed Chris from the corner of my eyes. He was helping Clark and another cousin from out of town with the sound system.

My stomach dropped a little. It slipped my mind that more of Michael's cousins from out of town would be coming. Ben...Ben was most likely coming too. My hand went to my stomach as I quenched at the thought. This was perfect timing for my anxiety to kick in. I tried brushing it off and focusing on arranging flowers. I wasn't sure how long I was doing it for but by the time I finished I had five large arrangements and nine bridesmaid bouquets done.

I was working on a last piece when I felt someone's hand stop me from poking a rose through. I looked up and found Chris staring at me with a rather amused expression.

"He's not here."

Who the heck was he talking about? I pushed his hand off mine. "What?"

"Ben," he said moving around the table.

How the heck did he know I was stressing over Ben? It couldn't be that obvious. He was only guessing.

"He's coming on the day of the wedding."

Chris was studying my face but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

"Good to know." I jammed the rose in the green oasis pretending it was his face. Was he telling me this on purpose? Was he finding some sick pleasure in telling me I'd see my ex in a few hours?

"Hey Laura, how can I help?" Clark came rushing over probably to play big brother.

His timing was always perfect. "Yes. Grab these big arrangements and line them up next to the aisle."

Clark didn't question me when I gave him the order. Chris stared at me a moment longer curiously then he too bent down and took hold of an arrangement. I went in search of Dania wondering if she needed anything else from me but instead I found Sarah. She was glowing with happiness which kind of surprised me because it kind of blew the myth away about the whole bridezilla thing. Actually Dania was doing all the Nazi bride work for her.

"Laura," she hugged me.

"Hey."

We pulled apart and she stared at my face but only to frown. I ruined her mood. "Are you okay? You don't look so well."

I thought I was doing a good job hiding it. Guess not. Was that what Chris was seeing on my face? I stared into her beautiful trustworthy eyes and choked. I want to tell her, truly I did. I knew I could always trust her. She was always the person I went to when I had a problem but I couldn't this time. Sarah had other blissful things on her mind. I couldn't ruin it for her.

"I'm fine Sarah. Just a little tired."

Typically she'd catch me on my lies but I suppose the wedding was really messing with her senses.

"Yeah me too."

"Do you need help with anything else?"

She glanced around us and shook her head. "No, nothing we need your help with. Just go home and get some rest. Rehearsal is tomorrow. I'll see you then."

Those words brought a smile to my face. "See you tomorrow."

I practically ran for the exit doors. The cool air felt wonderful on my warm cheeks. But the wonderful feeling was short lived when I realized I didn't bring my car. I came with Demi.

Damn it. Don't I ever get a break?

My fingers clawed at my scalp hair. This was not my day.

"Do you need a ride?" Chris' voice came out of nowhere. He was leaning against a black Cadillac that I was sure belonged to his uncle.

"Yes," the words were out of my mouth before I could even stop them. I wanted to get out of there and if Chris was my only way then so be it.

He took hold of the passenger side handle and opened the door for me. "Get in then."

We were both quiet in the car but I could swear he was staring at me from the corner of his eye. My grip on my phone tightened as the deadly silence grew more uncomfortable.

"Are you okay Laura?"

I turned to study his face. Did he even really care? His eyes were glued to the road, avoiding my deep stare. I didn't answer. What was the point? I didn't have to answer to him.

"Laura," he said my name in a harsher tone.

Again I didn't answer and I was sure he probably thought I was deaf or stupid. I didn't care though.

He took a sharp turn onto a dark dreary road. This was definitely not the way to my house.

"Chris, where are you taking me?"

He didn't answer. That ass was playing my game now. Ugh. Really? How childish was he being? "Chris!" I demanded but again he didn't answer.

He was driving a bit fast down the dark isolated road. God I hope there weren't any cars around. Finally after moments of intense swerving he pulled to a stop in what looked like a shady parking lot.

"Get out," he practically barked at me.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "And if I don't?" There was no way I was letting him push me around. Not today.

Chris took a deep breath and softened his expression. Was that a genuine look I was seeing on his face?

"Please," his voice was gentle. "Please will you get out of the car?"

Wow, was this real life? Was Chris Compton being polite to me? I was in such awe that I did get out of the car without hesitation this time. Chris ended up taking my hand and leading me down a small trail. Thankfully the moon was high and bright in the sky to lighten our path. I had no idea where we were going or what his intentions were. For all I knew he could probably try to kill me and no one would hear me scream.

It was a beautiful place though. I was sure it was a park at one point but you could tell it wasn't kept up to date with. Eventually we reached the end which opened up to a clearing with the most spectacular view of a glistening lake.

"Laura," his voice caressed my name. My eyes locked onto his green orbs and he continued. "Are you okay?"

I felt the warm tears working their way up to the surface. No. No. No. Not now. Why did he have to ask?

Chris took a step closer and I felt the radiating heat of his body. "Laura," his voice was masked with concern.

I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled my hand out of his grip. I didn't want to tell him but I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I watched a little boy die today." I closed my eyes to stop the tears. "He died in my arms." My head was spinning with the memory. "You want to know what I was thinking? What was running through my mind?"

Chris was quiet so I opened my eyes. His face was the picture of sympathy.

"Why couldn't it have been me? Why couldn't I take his place? So he could grow up, travel, meet new people...have his first kiss."

My heart was shattering all over again. Jayden was too young, way too young to die. How could God let that happen? I wanted to run away and hide. I was breaking down and in front of my enemy. But instead Chris wrapped his arms around me and for some reason I let him. For once he felt like a security blanket. I wasn't afraid to use him as a shoulder to cry on.

"We can't always get what we want," he said while rubbing my back. "Otherwise this world would be filled with rock stars and superstars."

I shook my head at his weak attempt to make me laugh. Only he would think of something stupid to make me feel better.

"Come on," he whispered into my ear while pulling me towards the dock.

The rickety dock didn't look safe but he dragged me on it anyway. We reached the very edge of it without it tipping over. Chris then let me go and casually started taking his clothes off.

I knew I should have looked away or even covered my eyes but what girl in her right mind would look away from such gorgeousness? Was this his way of trying to cheer me up?

"What are you doing?"

He had no hair on his chest, just clean smooth caramel skin. He was a bit sweaty. The moon's rays were shining on him making his abs that much more defined. He was tall, lean but he plenty of upper body strength with those curvaceous biceps.

His devilish grin made my stupid heart skip a beat. "Going for a swim."

He was standing in his boxers facing me. So he was a boxers guy, huh. Wait, what was going on?



-Chris' POV-

I was standing semi naked in front of her while she openly devoured my body with her eyes. I guess my plan was working. She needed something to take her mind off of things. I knew this was a slutty approach but her vulnerability was all I had to work with.

"Join me."

Her face went back to its cold exterior. "No."

I could almost feel her pain through her hard distant voice. She was shielding herself back up.

"You need a distraction."

I had surprised her. She was looking at me like I was crazy but it made sense. I leaned into her, kissing her with the briefest temptation then turned my back on her.

I had a strong feeling she would give in. I dove off the edge. When I surfaced back up from the water she was slowly taking off her sweater. That a girl. My eyes were glued to her every move. I couldn't look away even if I tried.

She had a perfect body; amazing full breasts, a cinched waist that doubled in size because of her wide hips. I wished she would have turned around. I was tempted to ask her too but tonight wasn't about me. She was wearing a black bra with red underwear. I wanted to see her ass.

Laura dove in and in seconds was floating in front of me. Our faces were level and we were staring deep into each other's eyes. I didn't know what to say or do. I could see the buildup of pain back on her face.

She slowly inched closer till our lips barely touched. "Help me forget...even for a moment."

How could any guy turn her down, turn any girl half naked

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