I stand for a good twenty minutes starting up at the hotel that my mother currently resides in, it's raining out and I'm soaked through but I can't force my feet to move no matter how hard I try.

It amuses me that she actually had the audacity to ask my Aunt Karen if she could stay at the house for a few days but thankfully she rejected her. It's not just that it's her home now, she pays rent for it after all and my mom's name was never added to the lease after my dad's parents left it to him when they passed away, Aunt Karen just can't stand her, which is understandable.

I had rummaged through the trash to find the tiny piece of paper my mother had given Hunter with her phone number on and text her earlier today to tell her I wanted to speak with her.

I'd hate to have seen her face because I know she'll be full of false hope right now but I'm not here to make up with her. I could happily go the rest of my life not speaking to her and it wouldn't affect me one bit.

Hunters damp hoodie I'm wearing smells like him and I'm starting to regret not asking him to come, but I really do think this is something I should do by myself.

I pull the collar up to my nose and inhale his scent, I don't care if the Hoodie is older than our relationship when it gets too tattered to be worn, this baby is getting framed.

I love the new hoodie Hunter bought me, but I still prefer this one.

My phone beeps signalling two texts, one straight after the other.

The first one is from Tara asking me how things are going and I quickly type out a reply to tell her I haven't grown the balls to go in yet.

The second is her. My mom. The woman that is probably less than two minutes walk away from me.

4.57pm Unknown:

Did you change your mind about coming sweetheart? I understand if you did, but just know I would really like to see you. Love you!

Her text almost makes me vomit and I roll my eyes, the bitch doesn't love anyone but herself.

I quickly type out a reply saying I won't be long and pocket my phone again.

Hunter has been texting me all day, encouraging me, complimenting me and being typical Hunter, he knows how to distract me from drama and I love that about him.

Keeping Hunter in mind, I take a deep breath and walk into the small hotel lobby.

I look for a sign that points me in the direction of the bar, my insides twisting and turning as I think about coming face to face with the woman who abandoned me almost four years ago.

I have no idea how this is going to go but I do know I need a really strong drink.

I order a scotch on the rocks and sit down at a nearby table, taking Hunters Hoodie off in the process. I catch sight of my mother at the other end of the bar and my heart leaps into my mouth.

She looks exactly how I remember, her hair is longer and fuller and her lips are painted a deep red, which is so not her usual style, but she still looks the same. I don't know what I was expecting really.

As if on cue, she looks over at me and smiles and for a tiny, split second, I want to run into her arms and hug her so tight that I'll forget about the last four years, the feeling soon passes though when her face flashes with guilt and reminds me of everything that she's done.

My heart picks up speed as she makes her way toward me, I vaguely hear the barman placing my drink on the table but I'm solely focused on her.

I don't even stand when she gets to me.

I swallow the lump in my throat and straighten myself out, trying to seem unaffected by her presence.

"Emily, I'm so glad you agreed to meet me, thank-you," She says. It looks like she wants to hug me or perhaps say more but she doesn't, she sits down on the chair opposite mine, placing her tall, clear glass on the table.

"This weather is awful, I wasn't sure if you would come."

I grit my teeth annoyed. Is she seriously talking about the weather? If I was ever going to not show up, there are a million other reasons why. Not because of the fucking weather.

"Yeah, " I agree. "It's terrible." I'm glad I decided to wear my hair up, I would have looked like a drowned rat otherwise.

My mom nods but doesn't verbally respond.

The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. It's awkward and hostile and I would rather be anywhere else than here.

"How have you been?" She asks making me chuckle though I'm anything but amused right now.

How could she even ask me that?

I try to put on a brave face but don't get the chance to respond, my mother grabs my left hand gently over the table and fondles the sparkling, diamond ring on my finger.

My mom smiles, it seems pretty genuine, or at least as genuine as my mom can be. She's good at hiding things. "Your Aunt Karen told me, I'm so pleased for you darling"

"Don't do that" I snap, pulling my hand away from her.

"Do what?"

"Pretend to care."

My mom looks as stunned as I am for saying it but she doesn't respond. Not to my statement anyway, she does what my mom does best, and changes the subject.

"I remember when I first found you and Hunter together, I was shocked, to say the least."

"And you gave us that big speech about being safe and loving each other and it was really awkward and cringe-worthy, I wanted the ground to swallow me whole" I reply with a small smile as I reminisce on the memory.

It suddenly hits me that I'm mad at her, she needs to know I'm angry and hurt so I cover my slip up with a bitch comment.

"Before you fucked off and left us"

My mother's eyes widen, probably because of my cussing, she never did like me using those words but then again, I don't care anymore.

"Where were you?" I ask her getting straight to the point. I don't want any more trips down memory lane. "Why did you leave?"

My mother takes a deep breath preparing herself with some big speech she's probably rehearsed a million times.

"You have to understand Emily, back then, I was in a really bad place."

"No. I was in a really bad place, dad, he was in a really bad place, you were a selfish bitch that didn't care about anyone and you left us."

"I know you're angry Emily and you have every right to be, but please let me explain," she begs me and I have to bite the inside of my mouth to keep myself from saying anything further.

I raise my eyebrows waiting for her explanation and she takes my silence as a sign to continue.

She sighs heavily before continuing. "I spent a lot of years with your father, I cooked, cleaned, I was the perfect little housewife, I didn't go out or have a job, my job was to look after you and Roy."

She takes a sip of her drink then shrugs like none of what she's saying even matters. "I didn't have a life."

"So you left and made one for yourself" I state finishing her. There's no question about it, I know exactly what she's going to say.

"Basically, yes." She answers. "I'm not saying what I did was right but when you live your life as I have..."

The way she's talking you would think she was beaten and abused, she's acting like she had such a terrible life with me and my dad and it's really starting to piss me off.

"Look, when your dad got sick and he went into that hospice I saw an opportunity to start a new life, to go somewhere different, to be someone different." She says, a few tears slip down her heavily made-up cheek but she quickly wipes them away. "I was depressed, I needed to leave for my own sanity. You were all grown up and didn't need me anymore"

"I didn't need you?" I seethe before gulping my drink down in one. "Do you even know what I've been through since you left? You left when I needed you the most!" I raise my voice at her for the first time since entering the hotel. I've done well getting this far to be fair.

I glance around and realise I've earned the attention of a few other diners so I take a deep breath to collect myself. "You and my dad we're the only people I had and you vanished off the face of the earth, if it wasn't for Hunter, Tara and their family, I honestly don't know how I would have survived the past four years."

I stand up not willing to hear anymore and shrug on Hunters hoodie. She stands with me, her eyes pleading with me to stay, but I can't. I need to get away from her as soon as possible.

"Emily"

"No, mom" I cut her off. "You asked me to listen and all I've heard is me, me, me. I don't care what you have to say anymore. I don't need you anymore."

"You have a half sister Emily"

Her words stop me in my tracks.

"She looks so much like you when you were little"

My heart sinks, my mom abandoned me and then decided to replace me? Fuck, that's harsh.

I don't answer her, when I've processed everything properly and my mind is more clear, then I'll consider talking to her again but as far as I'm concerned that won't be for a while.

I walk away again, pulling out my phone, noticing I have a text from Tara but I ignore it and dial Hunters number, I run out of the bar as fast as my feet will allow.