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HI. ANOTHER CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED AFTER THIS ONE LATER ON TODAY!

Special shoutout to samazingly because not only did she support my book by commenting and voting on it but I also got so inspired by her writing. When I first read her book, I was amazed at how it immediately transported me into another place and that's honestly such an amazing talent to have, especially here on wattpad. I recommend you go check out her book 'When It Pauses' I love it and I'm sure you will too. Thank you  love, for everything!

Vote - Comment - Share (If you wanna, but I'd appreciate it if you did. But you don't have to. But please do.)

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Thalia Lively

Nathan sat across the table in his kitchen, having a staring competition with Maya whilst Emery watched on trying to persuade Maya that she can never beat Nathan.

"Maya, you've tried this so many times before and you've always lost. Might as well stop now before you start crying like you did last time." Emery said, putting resting her head on her hands as she leaned on the table.

"Emery, cheer her on instead of trying to get her to lose. Maya, baby, you're doing great." Bethany kissed her cheek and looked at Emery accusingly.

She walked over to me and whispered in my ear so that no one could hear her. "She's so going to lose, Nathan is the king of staring competitions but I have to cheer my baby on anyway." She chuckled as Maya started using her hands to hold her eyes open.

"No, that's cheating Maya." Nathan said as he bit into his apple lazily.

"Momma, is that cheating?" Maya asked without taking her eyes off of Nathan, even though it looked she desperately wanted to.

"I'm afraid so." Bethany said pouting while she wiped the table clean.

A wave of nostalgia hit me and all of a sudden I couldn't breath properly. Memories played repeatedly right before my eyes and it took my all not to break down in guilt and pain. The way Emery tried tricking Nathan into blinking and giggling when he started tickling her, reminded me of when that would be me.

I was homesick for a place that doesn't exist anymore. I was missing people that aren't coming back.

I was perfectly fine until I saw Bethany's eyes watch her kids in nothing but complete love and happiness. Time froze and I felt my heart being filled with nothing but pain and agony.

I didn't realize that a tear escaped until Maya broke out of the staring competition and wiped my cheek. I couldn't hold it in and I regretted it immediately, so I got up and left before anyone could question me.

Right before I went out of the door, I looked at Nonna who's expression made my heart shatter into a million pieces. She looked at me with the same amount of pain that I felt and I didn't know how to take that pain away from her, all I knew was that she was way stronger than I was.

- - -

Heidi Dawson

I couldn't bare to look at her any longer, I tore my eyes away and winced when I heard the door shut.

I know that was hard for her, watching Bethany's family do the same things she's done millions of times with her own family, a family that wasn't with her anymore. A family that wasn't here to make her laugh and smile on her worst days. A family that wasn't here to be her shoulder to cry on when she needed the most.

She had changed, way more than I expected, and it broke every inch of my heart.

For starters, she doesn't play soccer anymore and I understand why. She was the soccer star in the family, everyone would come to her games to support her, regardless if she won or lost. Soccer was her everything, she lived and breathed that sport, it made everyone's day whenever she would be watching a soccer game on T.V and throwing tantrums when her favourite team lost.

It was her way of escaping life and now she can't go back to it without remembering the person who got her into soccer in the first place. Her father was a soccer lover himself. He taught her everything she knows. She lost her love for soccer and she doesn't want it back.

She tries to get rid of anything that would bring up the past; shoving everything away from her. How much longer can she push herself away before she falls off the cliff?

At first since, she was the quietest she's ever been in her life once she lost them. She didn't speak for months and when she finally spoke a word, it was her crying out for her mother in the middle of the night when she was fifteen.

She doesn't cook anymore, that was something her mother and her did daily. They always spent their time cooking and making a mess in the kitchen but loving every second of it.

She doesn't draw anymore, that was something she always did for her family. That was something she only did for her family.

She lost herself the second she lost them too.

Looking into her eyes now a days is like looking into a soulless body. She tries to act fine and she might've fooled the people around her but she can never fool me. She can never hide the pain from me because I can see it in her eyes, on her face and in her actions as she tenses and hesitates whenever people try to get close to her.

I don't blame her, I could never blame her. She's been dragged through hell, living everyday forced to face the fact that she's alone.

I was broken when I had heard the news, I couldn't eat for weeks. Jenna and Riley would come over and try to get me back on my feet but I couldn't bare the fact that I'd never get a call from her mother updating me on their lives every night.

I would never hear my sons voice again, and that was something I couldn't live without.

"Is she okay?" Maya walked over to me tearing up at the sight of Thalia.

I wiped her cheeks and looked back the door heartbroken. "No, but I'm sure she will be."

Emery grabbed her sisters hand and hugged her silently as Maya cried for Thalia. Emery was nine while Maya was six, Emery always teased her and pushed her around but her big sister role always kicked in when it needed to.

"I'm sorry, I didn't—" Bethany tried to apologize for something that wasn't her fault and I cut her off immediately.

"No, don't apologize, it's not your fault." I brushed off her unneeded apology and looked over at Nathan who was looking at the door that Thalia has just previously ran out of with confusion and sullenly.

My heart goes out to him also, as I know he's been in her shoes once before.

All of a sudden Nathan got up and exited the same door that Tahlia went out of and we heard his car start up and drive off.

"Where's Blake?" My weak attempt to change the subject wasn't an icebreaker at all.

"Locked in his office, as always." Bethany sat down in front of me and rubbed my knee comfortingly as my breath started to speed up.

I couldn't bring pity onto myself when I know that Thalia is out there having it way worse than I.

I can see how hard she tries to stay emotionless when she sees anything that reminds her of her tragic past, I can see how hard she holds it in. I know she's afraid of ever being that situation again— no, she's probably petrified, as I would be too.

She was thrown into a hole of despair that she couldn't climb out of and I so desperately wanted to be that person that throws a rope down to pull her out but I know that I wasn't meant for that role. I know that it wasn't my job to get her out, as much as I wished it was, it's not.

Throughout her life she was never popular, but don't get it twisted, the only reason for that was because she closed herself off even at a young age. She grew up not caring about other kids and friendships, she would go to school, learn then come home and hang out with her father all day in the garage, watching or helping him fix up cars.

All of a sudden a phone vibrated on the kitchen table and I went over, recognizing it as Thalia's.

Riles
I CAN'T FEEL MY MOUTH. I REPEAT, I CANNOT FEEL MY MOUTH.

Riles
Okay seriously, send help. That stupid asshole numbed my entire face, it literally feels like I have no face.

Riles
I SEE BLOOD, THERE'S FREAKING BLOOD COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH!! WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?

Riles
False alarm, it was just the bloody gauze that I had in my mouth.

Riles
Are you dead? I could be dying right now and you wouldn't know because you don't wanna check my messages.

Riles
I'm catching feelings. Feelings officially caught.

The messages lightened my mood slightly, and I opened her phone to let Riley know that Thalia wasn't here at the moment. Thank god for Thalia letting me put my fingerprint thing on her phone, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get in her phone.

The technology now a days has completely took over, and I disapprove.

As I was about to message Riley, I focused my attention on her lock screen that had a picture of her family in the bleachers at one of her biggest soccer games. That was when she got injured terribly but ending up winning in the end. The phone call I got that night made my day, everyone was worrying about Tahlia's leg while Thalia tried to explain how amazing the game was.

I couldn't help but look through her gallery that only had no pictures and one video.

The video was of Thalia in the garage with her father, talking about dream cars and future plans.

"What do you wanna be when you grow up, kiddo?" Chris wiped his hands with a dirty rag, trying to get the car grease off of his hands but it would've already stained by now.

"I wanna be happy." Fourteen year old Thalia spun in a chair, answering her fathers question.

"I meant what job do you want to have?" He chuckled.

"It doesn't matter what job I have, If I'm not happy in my future then no job or amount of money can make my life worth the while."

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{ not edited, most likely }

I wanted to have a little glance at Thalia's past and life because lately I haven't really shown her pain and grief. So I thought, why not hit them with this to make up for it?

This is probably horrible but I mean it is what it is so bear with me as I continue growing as an author. I still have so much to learn so this, of course, isn't going to be perfectly written but I still hope it moved you and got you emotionally.

Thank you for reading.

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