Warning: Slightly descriptive violence and abuse.

"Take him!"

Hakyeon heard a woman's voice in his head.

Thud.

His head was pounding furiously.

He was starting to feel sick and he didn't know what to do.

Hakyeon held Cha Yoojae down to the ground but the man didn't fight back. He laid there while his son was going to kill him. He closed his eyes and simply accepted it.

"Why won't you fight back?" Hakyeon shouted at Yoojae. He thought he sounded ridiculous just saying those words.

"Is there a point to fighting back? I lived all my life in prison, even if I came out, I would've been killed either by you or them," Yoojae said. "You've been wanting to kill me too, right? Or else why would you become a killer yourself? So, let's just put an end to all of this once and for all."

Hakyeon gulped nervously.

He found himself wrapping his hands around his father's neck, dry and wrinkled from old age. He tightened his grip for a second but let loose again. He couldn't stop his hands from trembling.

He's been waiting all these years just for this very day. This very moment where he can finally kill the man who has haunted him for so long.

But as he looked down at his father who he hasn't seen in a long time, the man no longer looked as intimidating as he did before. Hakyeon was no longer frightened by the sight of the man but rather, he found his old man pitiful and weak. Yoojae was skin to the bones, could barely move an inch and he's grown old.

So much older.

"Why... why did you come back?" Hakyeon's tears fell as he spoke.

Hakyeon found himself in a dilemma. He felt torn inside not knowing what to do.

"If only you didn't show up, I would've-"

I would've moved on. I could've kept my promise to Jaehwan...

And then, for a split second, Hakyeon saw someone else wrapped in his hands.

He saw his mother.

"If only you weren't born!"

He heard her speak and screamed at him.

"Cha Hakyeon?" Yoojae called out his son's name for the first time in years. He looked puzzled at his son, who didn't seem to be looking at him anymore.

Hakyeon's eyes began to shake as if he was seeing someone else in front of him.

"If only... I wasn't born..." Hakyeon muttered those words out loud from his head.

And in that instance, a rush of horrid memories was coming back.

The pieces of memories that were forgotten and tormented him all these years.

✣

"Stop mom! Stop!" Hakyeon screamed from the top of his lungs as his mother grabbed his small ankles and dragged him inside the bedroom.

He found himself gripping onto the door ledge, trying to fight back. His hands were in pain and he was weak.

She pulled him into hell with her and threw her in front of her drunk husband.

"Take him! Have him!" she screamed and banged Hakyeon's head onto the floor.

Yoojae looked at the woman, drunk but sober enough to find the entire situation absurd. He laughed hysterically for a second and then, his gaze changed immediately.

"This stupid bitch!" he yanked her off the floor and dragged her away. "Finally showing yourself!"

"N-no," she crawled back onto her feet and grabbed her son again, shoving the frightened Hakyeon in front of her husband again. "You just want to take your anger out on someone, right? Take him! Leave me alone!"

"M-Mom..." Hakyeon was crying. He was confused and in pain.

He never thought that his mother would do this to him. The one person who he thought he could trust and that they would protect each other no matter what suddenly turned against him

"So pathetic," Yoojae thought and shoved Hakyeon away while he pulled his wife from the floor and hit her. "All you liars. Acting like you cared for him and then throwing him away when you can't take it anymore..."

Yoojae fist was shaking in anger.

"You and ... Lee ChangIn..." he grumbled to himself.

He turned his head and decided to ignore the woman. Just looking at her brought a bitter taste to his mouth. He couldn't even bear to look at her for another second without wanting to throw another fist at her.

He tried to hold back.

He snatched the bottle of beer next to his bedside and chugged it down. He turned on the TV in front of the bed and turned the volume loud enough so he couldn't hear her sobbing.

Hakyeon, weak to his knees and still in disbelief, tried to get back up. His mom must've gone insane for a second, she must've been terrified, she didn't mean to say those things to him, right? She was only scared, right?

"Mom?" he tried to be hopeful and slowly approached the frail woman, sitting in the corner and sobbing to herself.

She perked at the voice of her son and turned her head towards him. She saw a weak and fragile boy, quivering and in tears. But her gaze sharpened and she glared at him.

"It's all your fault..." she said.

"M-mom?"

In just a split second, Hakyeon found himself suffocating and gasping for air. His "mother" pinned him down with her hands wrapped around his thin neck, strangling him.

"M-" Hakyeon tried to snap her out, but his voice couldn't reach her. He was slowly blacking out, losing his sight and losing his voice. "Save-"

"I should've never given birth to you! What did I do to deserve this!?" she cried as she went mad. "Don't worry Hakyeon, I'll kill you and then myself. I can't do this anymore. I'll end this miserable life for the both of us."

Save me, please, he begged desperately inside. He wanted to shout for help but he couldn't find his voice.

And in the moment where he was about to fall into darkness, he heard a voice.

"Hyung!"

Jaehwan? He thought. At a time like this, suddenly the clumsy younger boy who always followed him around senselessly popped up in his mind. A single question made him wonder, if he died, what would happen to Jaehwan? Who would Jaehwan go to when he cries?

Hakyeon kicked back. He was weak but desperate. He had to live. It didn't matter what he did or how he did it, he found a reason to live.

He kicked his mother in the stomach as hard as he could, causing her to screech in pain. When Hakyeon finally opened his eyes to make sense of what he just did, he saw his mother lying there on the floor, her hands holding onto her stomach in pain. They were both desperate to survive, but they were no longer side by side like before.

She looked at her son filled with resentment and Hakyeon, who still couldn't believe his mother would try to kill him, knew he could no longer trust anyone. There was no way out.

I have to live, the poor child thought. I have to survive... somehow.

But their ruckus finally pissed Yoojae off. He got up from his seat finally, and walked towards his wife who was in pain, pulled her up and swung her to the side. This time, however, he was done with everything.

He's had enough.

He grabbed her arm and tied her up with the shirt lying on the floor. He stuffed her mouth with a towel, shutting her up and then, he was beating her to death.

The commotion was muffled by the sound of the television and the vase in the room fell to the floor, shattered into uncountable pieces.

She whimpered but didn't fight back. She's given up and so has Yoojae.

"I'm not getting out alive one way or another, so let's all die together," Yoojae said.

She lied on the floor lifelessly, while Yoojae got up to scrummage through the kitchen for something.

Hakyeon, who used to cry about his mother getting beaten up, no longer felt sorry for her.

She tried to kill me, the very thought loomed over him. Mother tried to kill me.

Fear and hatred started to grow.

She said she'd protect me. She ... lied.

As these thoughts clouded over his senses, he found himself approaching his mother carefully, he looked at her closely for a second to see whether she was still moving.

She twitched.

She cried.

She was alive.

That very instance, Hakyeon was afraid. He had to do something. And before he knew it, he tried to strangle her himself this time. His hands barely wrapped around her neck, so he tightened his grip as much as he could. She started choking and realized a second late, that this time it was her son out for revenge.

When Yoojae walked back inside the bedroom, he was horrified yet amused at the scene. He dropped the gas canister and matches onto the floor and watched as his own son tried to kill his beloved mother.

Finally, Hakyeon snapped.

"Ha...hahaha," Yoojae laughed hysterically as he watched.

She dug her nails into Hakyeon's hands, trying to break free but Hakyeon was strong. Both his fear and hatred made him stronger.

"How pathetic! Every single one of us!" Yoojae thought.

Yoojae walked up on the two of them and pinned his wife's arms down away from the child. He made sure she couldn't fight back. He shoved the towel further down her mouth so that there was no way she could scream. And just minutes later, she stopped breathing.

There lay a lifeless corpse, beaten and bruised all over by her husband and strangled to death by her son. Her eyes were opened wide as she died, unable to believe that she could die in such a miserable way. The only thing beautiful was the scattered petals of white roses that covered the floor.

✣

All this time, Hakyeon simply thought his mother abandoned and betrayed him. She left him there to die, so she deserved to be killed. But what he didn't remember was that rather than Yoojae who killed his mother, it was him who did it. A nine-year-old boy killed his own mother, strangled her with his own hands and his father was simply an accomplice.

Hakyeon backed up from Yoojae immediately and scurried away. He felt sick recalling all the memories he had suppressed.

"I-" Hakyeon wanted to vomit. "I was the one who killed her..."

"Huh? What-" Yoojae looked at Hakyeon's perplexed expression and whose face had gone completely white.

He looked at his son for another second and finally noticed.

"You don't remember."

Hakyeon looked up at his father in horror.

"Why..." Hakyeon cried. "Why did I forget?"

Why wasn't I taken away instead? I was the one who killed her... How could I have forgotten?

All this time, Hakyeon despised his father for his misfortunate childhood and trauma. As far as he could remember, Cha Yoojae was the one who killed his mother. That's why even when he couldn't utter a word after the shock, he pointed all the blame to Yoojae. It was his father who killed his mother, everyone knew that. It was all over the news too. That's what Hakyeon had always believed.

And Yoojae never denied it either. Nor did he say anything about his nine-year-old son during that year when he killed his wife.

Yet, there was a hole in Hakyeon's memories. The false memories which made him who he is today.

Hakyeon saw a reflection of himself from the broken glass vase on the floor and immediately felt repulsive. He wanted to throw up.

How disgusting... he thought as tears fell down and his head in turmoil.

"Hakyeon?" Yoojae approached the young man cautiously but just as he did, Hakyeon flinched.

In that instance, he could see his mother lying dead on the floor once more. All those horrid memories were coming back and it was too much for him to handle. Everything was slowly turning black.

And just as he was about to lose consciousness, he heard something.

Knock. Knock.

Someone was at the door.

But before Hakyeon could do anything, he passed out.

J-Jaehwan?

✣

Duu. Duu. Duu.

No one was picking up.

"That's weird," Jaehwan thought as he got off the bus.

He tried to call the older a few more times but no one was picking up still. He was beginning to feel uneasy, especially since they made a promise to meet up and talk about what to do next as they try to deduce who the copycat killer could be. And the older had continuously told Jaehwan to stay away from Minhyuk after Minhyuk went to look for him.

Minhyuk was dangerous. But he wasn't always like that.

I should've put a line between us when I could, Jaehwan sighed regretfully.

When he first met Minhyuk, it was like looking at himself. Jaehwan had always felt strangely attached to people like himself, and he couldn't help but feel sorry for Minhyuk. Minhyuk had always wanted the best for the organization and for Jaehwan, but little by little, everything simply became an obsession. And before he could do anything about it, it was already too late.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Jaehwan immediately picked up the phone thinking it was Hakyeon.

"Hyung?!" Jaehwan assumed.

"It's me," it was Minhyuk, speaking of the devil.

"Um, what is it?" Jaehwan was obviously disappointed.

"Where are you right now?" he asked.

"I'm heading home. I'm tired," Jaehwan said.

"Did you give some thoughts to what we said last time?" Minhyuk asked.

"I did and I still don't think it's right. I said it before, didn't I? I'm only doing this because of grandpa. I never wanted to drag anyone else in it or hurt anyone for that matter. I deliberately told you that I didn't want that. I don't want some Neo Apostles or whatever. I simply wanted to carry out my grandfather's will."

"Don't be stupid. Do you really think we could achieve anything by playing it safe?" Minhyuk said. "This world isn't as forgiving as you think. Sacrifices are inevitable to achieve something great."

"Great? Don't make me laugh, Minhyuk," Jaehwan was slowly losing his patience. "Do you really think my grandfather would have wanted things to turn out like this? You keep saying that everything you're doing is for my own good, but you're just being selfish."

"..."

"I'm Lee Jaehwan. Not Lee ChangIn," Jaehwan continued. "I'm not my g-"

"Don't you dare say it," Minhyuk sounded irritated.

"I will say it. I've told you and Ilhoon dozens of times to stop. The others were living peacefully on their own without being involved until you dragged them back in. And now, you've even gone to look for Hakyeon-hyung too! He's got nothing to do with the organization, why the hell would you go look for him?"

"He has everything to do with us," Minhyuk said. "You were the one who came to me and Ilhoon, asking for us to help you because you couldn't fight on your own. You couldn't tell your precious Hakyeon-hyung to help you and tell him our families' dirty secrets. You couldn't go against your parents on your own and had to rely on us. Don't you dare go pointing fingers back at us now. You weren't like this before and now just because you've made up with Cha Hakyeon, you're turning your back on us!"

"That's not-"

"All because of Cha Hakyeon!"

Jaehwan swallowed nervously. He knew he said too much and made Minhyuk explode.

"I-I'm sorry, Minhyuk-ah. I didn't-" he didn't mean it. "I'm not turning my back on anyone. I'll continue what I started. I promise. But after everything is over... I want to go back to how things were before. And live normally again. I'm tired. So please, please let me go."

"Things will never go back to how they used to be," Minhyuk said and hung up abruptly.

Jaehwan felt unsettled as he held up his phone even long after Minhyuk had hung up. He knew that what he was doing was going to hurt someone eventually, but as he thought, no one is more important than Hakyeon. And if he had to choose one while abandoning the other, the answer was clear.

I need to figure something out quick. Minhyuk didn't sound stable just now on the phone. I'm worried about what he might do next...

Jaehwan knew he had to find Hakyeon. He picked up his pace, he walked quicker and quicker, eventually running up the streets to the older's apartment. But as he got closer down the road he started hearing sirens and saw people running in a certain direction. When he looked up, he saw smoke in the air.

Huh? That's -

He panicked knowing well that the direction was where Hakyeon lives. When he finally arrived in front of the apartment, all he could see was red. Everything was falling apart, engulfed in flames and burning to ashes.

People were running out of the apartment trying to escape while the firefighters were trying to desperately put out the fire.

"Hyung!" Jaehwan tried to force his way through the crowd to find Hakyeon.

He looked left and right but he couldn't see the older anywhere.

The last thing he remembered was making a promise with the older to discuss what they'll do next at his place, the very place that was starting to fall apart.

"Stop, you can't go any further. It's dangerous," several policemen blocked Jaehwan from getting closer.

"But my hyung is in there!" Jaehwan cried out desperately.

Still, he couldn't get through.

It was too dangerous.

He stepped back a bit to look around, he needed to get through somehow and find Hakyeon. He tried to call the older but the older still didn't pick up.

He was feeling more urgent and uneasy as the seconds went by.

Where are you, hyung? Jaehwan has never felt as frantic as he did at the moment and just as he took another step back, something hit him from behind.

Causing him to blackout before he could turn around to see who it was.

✣

"So, looking at this, we can conclude that both Lee ChangIn and Park WuKyung had something to do with the first generation of Apostles. Possibly the founders if anything," InGuk was called into the meeting on request from Hongbin and Wonshik.

"We can assume so," Wonshik answered. "But we don't know exactly how many members were involved."

"But both Park Haejin and ... Eunji were a part of it, right?" InGuk hesitated to say the name knowing how close his two subordinates were with her.

"Yeah."

The atmosphere was solemn.

"We looked through Eunji's background after she came out as one of the primary suspects. She grew up in an orphanage that was built and funded by a mysterious gentleman who never revealed his name. But when we looked into it, we found that the person was Lee ChangIn," Wonshik continued with the briefing and showed all the evidence he was able to dig up with Hongbin in a short amount of time.

"So, they were all connected after all," InGuk looked over everything. "Hmm..."

"Sir?"

"Hongbin-ah, this is also in regards to your family-"

"I can do this," Hongbin interrupted the lieutenant, knowing exactly what his next words would be. "I need to get to the bottom of it. I need to know why and how Jaeho died. If his death has something to do with our grandfather's organization, especially the Apostles, then Jaeho won't be the only one."

"Even if it means investigating the rest of the family?"

"Yes. I thought about it. All this time, I tried to ignore whatever went on with the household, because my family isn't exactly normal. But I never thought that