CASE 16.5 - Reminisce

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Only a few simple days have passed and Hakyeon went back to his usual quiet days as Jaehwan finally went back to his own apartment. But in the end, Hakyeon was still unable to find the reason behind the younger's strange behavior. Hakyeon could tell though, that whatever it was that was making Jaehwan become that way, must have been really hard on the younger and though he did think it could have been Jaehwan's family again, there was something else that told him otherwise.

Is it because of me? Hakyeon couldn't help but think that way. Was I really neglecting him that much that he ended up overthinking about things too much? Why would he think that I would ever separate from him? If anything... it's the opposite, isn't it? Hakyeon sighed a little as he watched the espresso from the machine drop into a little shot glass.

He was back at his part-time job but he couldn't stay focus at work and though the cafe was closed for the day to do some maintenance, Hakyeon really didn't feel like being there.

"What are you planning on doing after this?" his manager came over. "I still can't believe you're going to quit."

"Sorry about the last minute notice," Hakyeon could only say. "It's just that... school has been a lot more hectic than I thought and I don't think that I can concentrate on my studies if I work at the same time."

A lie.

"We're going to miss you," his manager said.

"I'll miss everyone here, too," Hakyeon smiled.

"Well, come back and visit us from time to time, okay?"

"I'll try my best."

How long has it been since Hakyeon got this job? He's been working at this small local cafe for the past three years since he became a university student. At first, it was to help him fund his tuitions for school but after the first year, Hakyeon received several scholarships from his research papers and good grades. Ironically enough, even Park Hyoshin helped him to get that scholarship since the professor helped write his letter of recommendation. To be honest, Hakyeon could have quit his job any time he wanted since he wasn't in a dire need for the money after receiving his scholarship but the cafe became a good alibi. The location was perfectly in the middle of his school and his apartment, so if anything were to happen, he could quickly go back and forth between the two places especially if his other 'part-time' job as an infamous killer gets out of control, he could try to lie his way out of it. He's thought of everything from the start but slowly, something changed especially when he finally decided to slow down on his secret activities, he realized that maybe it wasn't smart to drag the innocent into his doings. Unexpectedly, he became friends with his co-workers and also the regulars in the cafe became a bigger part of his life as well. The cafe and the people there helped him relax and helped him get his mind off of a lot of things too. When Hakyeon decided that he didn't want to involve innocent people in his own affairs, he couldn't help but think of Jaehwan as well.

If Jaehwan got dragged in because of the things I've done, how will I live with that? Jaehwan is the last person Hakyeon could ever imagine hurting because of his irresponsible actions. Hakyeon didn't want to imagine the kind of face the younger might have if he were to ever be caught.

It pained him just thinking about it. I can't let Jaehwan make that kind of expression, I just can't.

Hakyeon let out another worrying sigh as he finished up the last day of his job as a barista. He walked down the familiar little neighborhood as if it was his last and traced every step with reminisce. As he passed by, he bumped into his neighbors and also regulars of the cafe, all telling him that they would miss him since word of his last day had already gotten out. Eventually, after a long stroll, he finally reached his apartment. He walked out onto the balcony and grabbed the package of white rose seeds from the flower shop owner the other time.

He took the seeds out and grabbed the empty pot that he prepared for them. He scooped out the soil from the bag and put them in the pot with care. He used to buy the white roses from the shop owner and even learned how to preserve them long enough so that if he were ever to need them, he could use them which helped him draw his suspicions from the owner. Plus, his little cover-up about his mother liking white roses, helped him gain some trust from the owner enough not be questioned. Though there was some truth in that lie, it was good enough for Hakyeon to draw any suspicions away from him. However, as time went by, Hakyeon became unsure just how much longer he could remain hidden as the 'White Rose Killer', someone would eventually catch on, right?

So, he decided to plant the seeds himself. Except it wasn't for his side-job but it was for something else...

"One last time," Hakyeon said as he placed the seeds in the soil and watered them.

After finishing up some housework, Hakyeon turned on the television to see what was on the news. It hasn't been long since the news of the White Rose Killer was all over the media for the death of the famous professor of SNU but since Hakyeon hasn't punished anyone recently, the infamous name remained dormant once again. But this was a good thing. Maybe if just a little more time passes by, people will eventually forget about him and his so-called 'legacy'.

Hakyeon took his phone out and texted Jaehwan to see how the younger was doing despite the fact that they just saw each other a few days ago. He just couldn't help but be a worrywart when it came to Jaehwan.

[How are you feeling today?] Hakyeon sent the text.

[Great as usual!] Jaehwan's reply was fast and the younger even made to add a smiley face next to his message.

[That's good. Since the holidays are coming up, let's go somewhere.] Hakyeon suggests.

[Sure! Where though?]

[Anywhere you want to go?]

[The beach! I want to go to the beach! It's been a while since the two of us went to the beach, so let's go!]

[Did you forget it's winter and freezing out there?]

[So?]

[So? It'll be cold!] Hakyeon shivers just imagining it.

[But we can go watch the sunrise together or something. Doesn't it sound romantic? Hehe~]

Hakyeon chuckled at the younger's text and as silly as it was, just thinking about Jaehwan's excited expression was enough for him to accept it.

[You win. But if you catch a cold, you're on your own.] Hakyeon teases.

[I won't. Idiots don't catch colds, remember?]

Hakyeon laughed again and laid on his sofa as he looked up at his phone, scrolling through his messages with Jaehwan. Every text was so precious to him and though it may not be intentional, Jaehwan has always cheered him up when he felt lost or alone.

"The beach, huh?" Hakyeon repeated the idea aloud and opened up the browser on his phone to search for all the places he could go with the younger during their holidays.

Just a little longer, things will go back to normal, won't they? It's always been you, Lee Jaehwan... making me forget everything and making me think that the past might not be so important after all. If only you were there that time when I needed someone the most, maybe I could have stopped in time and the monster inside of me would have never been born. But this is okay, right? I can still stop, right? There's still time to go back before I get caught.

"As long as people forget, as long as people don't talk about it, the name 'White Rose Killer' will be forgotten. Right?" Hakyeon felt optimistic for once.

Not many people knew of this but the origin of the White Rose Killer wasn't because his first-found victim had a single rose in front of his body. In fact, the very first person who died in his hands gave 'birth' to the killer, had flowers scattered all over his corpse.



It happened not long after Hakyeon moved out of the Lee Family and decided to live on his own right after high school. He was desperate to look for a job at that time, any part-time job would have done it but since he was only a high school graduate, finding a decent job was difficult.

After some time, Hakyeon happened to find an advertisement for a part-time job at a local preschool in his neighborhood. The job was a simply assistant around the school, helping the other teachers and just doing simple tasks. Hakyeon was quite excited for it when he got called in by the head teacher for an interview. The head teacher was a nice old man, with lots of experience as a teacher before becoming the head teacher of this school. Hakyeon had some good vibes from him and he was actually looking forward to getting the job since he felt like he made a good impression during his job interview.

"It's rare for a young man like you to work so hard. Young people nowadays only know how to party or play, and running away from their responsibilities. I'm glad that a kid like you still exists," the head teacher said with a smile as he showed Hakyeon around the campus a little.

"It's nothing, sir," Hakyeon was being humble even though he understood what the head teacher was trying to say. Maybe I grew up too quickly? Since that time...

"Do you like kids?" the old man continued to ask.

"Sure. I don't dislike them of course. In fact, I think kids are much more trustworthy and honest than adults."

"Haha. Really? Well, that's because you're still young. Kids can be a handful at times, you think you can handle that?"

"I won't know if I don't try, right?" Hakyeon responded confidently.

"Oh ho? Bold answer but very honest of you. Not bad," the head teacher obviously had a good impression on the younger man. "Do you have any siblings?"

Hakyeon took a second to debate about his response, "just one, sir."

"Older?"

"No, younger by two years," Hakyeon said as he refers to Jaehwan.

"I see. What's he like?"

"Energetic and creative. Optimistic and brave. Everything that's the opposite of me," Hakyeon said honestly.

"Oh? I don't think so. But it seems like the two of you get along just listening to you talk about your younger brother."

"I hope so," Hakyeon said. "How about you, sir? Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"I used to have an older brother."

"Used to?"

"He passed away but he wasn't a nice man, to begin with. He's done a lot of things that he shouldn't have and made a lot of enemies with people he shouldn't either. When he died, you could say that it was a breath of fresh air," the head teacher said, leaving Hakyeon confused and not know how to respond at all to the conversation. "Anyways, the past is the past. Thanks for coming in today. We'll give you a call later on once we've made our decision."

"Uh, yes. Thank you, sir. See you soon," Hakyeon could only say.

As Hakyeon walked away that day and looked back at the head teacher, he wasn't able to shake off the uneasy feeling he got from the old man.

Was his brother that bad? But still, how can someone say something like that about their own brother especially to a stranger? Hakyeon thought.

He looked at the school pamphlet he got earlier from the head teacher and for a split second, he had his doubts about the job but eventually, he snapped back to his senses, "forget it, it's none of my business."

Ring. Ring.

"Hello?" Hakyeon picked up his phone.

"Hyung!! Where are you? How was your interview?" it was Jaehwan, who couldn't even stay away from the older for a split second.

"It went well, I think. What's up?"

"I need help! Like the SOS kind of help!" Jaehwan shouts through the phone urgently but in a joking manner that Hakyeon could tell right away, it wasn't something as urgent as the younger made it to sound.

"Let me guess, you didn't finish your homework and need my help since it's probably due tomorrow and you haven't started it at all," Hakyeon assumed.

"You know me best. So, please help me!"

"Fine, meet me at the library later. Don't be late or I won't help you," Hakyeon said without even thinking of saying 'no' for an answer.

"Yay!"

Hakyeon couldn't help but sigh in defeat since he's always helped the younger without questioning but a part of the younger's charm was that no matter what, he's always there to make Hakyeon forget the uneasy feeling he had earlier.

A few days after his interview, Hakyeon received a call from the school to come in for work and check in a week before the new semester starts. Hakyeon was ecstatic about the job and he was more excited in what Jaehwan would do to help him celebrate on getting his first job. He was ready for some sort of big celebration with Jaehwan but since the younger had to study for his final exams, Hakyeon decided to wait for a little but do a small celebration of his own. He stopped by the flower shop in his neighborhood for a little to get some flowers to replace the ones that were withering in his vase at home.

"Hakyeon-ah," the flower shop owner said with a rather happy expression on his face.

"Mister. Do you need something?" Hakyeon asked as he saw the owner holding a boutique of white flowers in his arms.

"Nothing much. I'm just happy to run into you today. How have you been?"

"Great. I just got a call for my first job."

"Oh my, congratulations! Will be you celebrating it later with Jaehwan?"

"No, he's busy. So I don't want to distract him."

Hakyeon looked at the owner for another section and stared at the flowers in the older man's arms. "Um, can I ask you what those are for?"

The bouquet of flowers in the florist's arms was beautiful but also distracting and almost irritating to look at - some baby's breaths, a few white tulips that haven't fully bloomed yet and finally, a dozen white roses...

"Oh, these? Actually, my family has decided to expand our business a little and we're thinking of doing weddings too. Since white flowers are popular for weddings, we decided to get some white roses too. They're beautiful, aren't they?" the owner said enthusiastically without realizing that Hakyeon couldn't really look at the flowers directly.

An uncomfortable feeling.

"Is something wrong?" the owner finally noticed the young man looking at the flowers and seems quiet unlike the usual.

"Huh? No. It's just... actually, my mother used to love white roses too," Hakyeon said subconsciously. "It just reminds me of her, that's all."

"Oh, I'm sorry," the owner felt bad for Hakyeon since he knew that the young man's mother passed away a long time ago.

"No, it's not your fault," Hakyeon tried to reassure him but didn't know what else he could say.

"Hmm, well. How about this? Have one," he took one of the white roses from the bouquet and handed it to Hakyeon. "If you miss her, you can look at this and think about her. I'm sure she misses you just as much as you do."

"Huh? Um, sure... thank you," Hakyeon said with a slight hesitation about accepting the gift. He wasn't sure whether he should be happy about it or not.

After all, his memories of his mother weren't exactly something to be happy about reminiscing. But it's not as if the owner knew of what really happened so, Hakyeon couldn't blame the older man either. It's a memory that even Jaehwan doesn't know about... it's not like I can really tell Jaehwan, Hakyeon let out a sigh.

Because of the unexpected encounter with the flower shop owner, Hakyeon kept thinking about the unnecessary things from the past that prevented him from going back home. In the end, he wandered around the streets aimlessly just thinking about the past and resenting everything in his memories.

"Why is it so hard to just move on?" Hakyeon said to himself as he stared at the white rose in his jacket pocket.

No, it's been so long already. I need to forget it and move on, Hakyeon kept telling himself that as he walked around.

Just then, he passed by one of the parks and recognized someone sitting on the benches with his back completely hunched over. It was the head teacher from the preschool. Hakyeon caught a glimpse of the head teacher's expression which didn't seem good and definitely less expressive than when they met during his interview.

"Dad, look what I made!" a child ran excited towards the head teacher.

His son? Hakyeon looked at the child who didn't seem more than seven. He felt doubtful about the child being the head teacher's child but it's not like it was any of his business.

"Look, dad," the child said once more.

"Shut up!" the head teacher suddenly yelled at his son out of anger and shoved the child without a sign of apology in his eyes. No one saw it happen since the park was quiet and empty, but Hakyeon witnessed a completely different side of the head teacher that day. It made Hakyeon feel nervous just standing there in secret behind the trees, and observing in silence.

The child started to cry and all he could do was to grasp tightly onto the toy by himself since it wasn't as if his father would comfort him.

"Shut up! All you do is cry, cry and cry! Just like that damn woman!" the head teacher got up angrily and grabbed the child by his arms and dragged him away in frustration. The child was reluctant to leave but he had no power to fight back.

As Hakyeon watched, he couldn't help but follow the two out of anxiety. He was worried that something bad might happen. He couldn't believe that the rough-looking old man, saying such things to his own son, would be the same person who's the head teacher of a preschool. What could be going on in the head teacher's mind to be so different at work and back home? Hakyeon was scared, he knew he shouldn't have followed the two but he did. And as soon as the front doors closed, the child's cries became louder.

Bam!

"Shut the hell up!" the head teacher shouted.

Just from the other side of the door, Hakyeon heard the familiar noises and began to tremble. He was too familiar with the sounds of abuse. The child was being hit. Hakyeon should have run in there to stop it or call the police to save a poor soul but he couldn't move his feet. He could only stand there in fear, not because he feared the old head teacher but more so, he was afraid of his past flashing before his eyes.

Anxiety, sadness, and rage filled his chest all at once.

"Why are they all like this?" he clenched his fist angrily. First dad, and now this man too?

The more Hakyeon thought about it, the more he was unable to let go.



In the end, he never reported the incident to the police but instead, he thought of confronting the head teacher. He knew it was a bad move and probably one that could get him in a lot of trouble but he wasn't thinking rationally at all. He only wanted an answer, why did you do that to me and mom? What did we do wrong? What did we do to deserve that? He never got to ask that to his own father when he was younger but now that he's older, he thought that maybe he could ask someone that question and find the answer eventually. Only a few days before his training starts, he decided to follow the head teacher as soon as school ended. Hakyeon tried to look for any opportunity he could to confront the head teacher but the old man wandered from one bar to another, completely drunk and

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net