The optimistic and kind Hana, who Wonshik thought he knew for the longest time, was no longer around. The Mina who was like a child and finally accepted Wonshik wasn't here either. The one who stands in front of Wonshik at the moment looks exactly like Hana, sounds like her and is her but isn't her at the same time. Her gaze was different from Hana and Wonshik found himself in trembles.

Her sharpening gaze and her menacing aura...

"Y-you're... Haebin," Wonshik said.

"Correct," she said with a smirk yet her eyes were not smiling at all.

"Why are you here?" Wonshik asked her with caution.

"Oh~ I don't know. I heard someone picking on poor Mina and making her cry, so I came to save her. You really shouldn't make a child cry, she's only seven at heart," Haebin taunted.

"That's not it. You must want something from me for you to finally show up."

"Smart as usual except for when you left Hana all alone for that man to devour. You don't know just how much she screamed and cried for you that night yet no one could hear her or save her. All she could do was helplessly let that man touch you and contaminate her. You let that happen. If only you know how much she truly resents you for it," Haebin said.

Wonshik clenched his fist in anger, being unable to refute her taunts and deep down inside, even he can't forgive himself.

"The reason why Hana left so suddenly to Canada... was it because of that incident?" Wonshik asked.

"That's one reason. You can't blame her though. Not only did her so-called boyfriend throw her away but she was trapped in her own nightmares of that man repeatedly violating her. She was in a city full of resentment that there was no way she could live with herself."

"... Why are you telling me this?" Wonshik had to know. Haebin's sudden appearance caught him by surprise but if anyone had the answers to all his questions of what happened all these years with Hana, that person has to be Haebin.

"So that this can finally end once and for all. You always end up hurting Hana and it has taken me a long time just to bring her out of her misery. Yet... you have to appear in front of her again and causing her pain again."

"What are you saying?"

"Do you really think that just by moving away, that she would be able to move on? The images of that man continued to haunt her night after night even when she was overseas. She was tormented by her nightmares and trauma so much that she almost went insane. There was no way she could easily forget about what happened, so, she took things to extreme measures. She tried to hang herself and end her life just so that she wouldn't have a life to remember," Haebin revealed.

"S-she what..." Wonshik gulped nervously at the truth. Just imagine the pain that Hana must have gone through made him furious and guilty inside. He couldn't be there for Hana, just like how he couldn't be there for JiWon...

"B-But, Hana said she couldn't remember Hyojin's face and that's why she came to me to tell me about that dream when we reunited," Wonshik remembers.

"You're right, the Hana you know now doesn't have any recollection of that man's disgusting face. But that's because I helped suppress her nightmares after her stupid suicidal attempt. I came out just in time to save her before she kills both me and Mina. After that attempt, she went to deep slumbers for a month. During that month, it allowed me to erase all of her nightmares in one go especially of that man's face. To be honest, I even tried erasing your stupid existence just so that she didn't have to remember how much pain she was in when you turned her away," Haebin told him.

"Then why..."

'That's because you're Kim Wonshik, the only man Hana loved and the only person she'll ever love. Your existence proved to be much greater than I expected that even I couldn't erase you from her memories as much as I wish I could."

Haebin was right. Hana and Wonshik were each other's, first love. Wonshik never thought he'd be so attracted to anyone aside from Hana and he really imagined a future with her and his family in it. If only he wasn't so blind by seeking the truth behind JiWon's death, then he could have protected Hana as well. Yet, even if he begins to regret it now, there is no going back.

I'm sorry, Hana-ah. Wonshik was let down by the truth. He underestimated Hana's love for him and he was beginning to lose faith in himself.

"Then, did you kill him? Were you the one who killed Choi Hyojin? Is that why Hana keeps dreaming about killing him?" Wonshik needed to know.

"What makes you think that I'm the one who killed him?" Haebin asks back.

"If you didn't, who did?"

"Are you really sure you want to know?"

"Tell me."

✣

It's okay to forget.

But there are some things that you just can't forgive.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Ugh, my head..." Hakyeon woke up from his alarm immediately but he couldn't get enough sleep the previous night due to his studies and part-time jobs. Everyone was going away for the spring holidays, so Hakyeon had no choice but to do more than he could handle.

It was finally the long-awaited weekend but as Hakyeon got out of his bed and saw his room, he realized how messy it was becoming since he always ends up in his bed as soon as he came home.

He let out a deep sigh and started to gather his clothes from the floor that were spread all across the floor. Usually his room would be much tidier than this but lately, it's only gotten worse.

"At this point, Jaehwan's room will be cleaner than this," Hakyeon laughs to himself as he started to clean up around him a little.

He got washed up momentarily and got ready for breakfast but as soon as he was able to take the first bite, he got a message from Jaehwan.

[Hyung, morning! Do you have to work today?] Jaehwan asked.

[No. Sup?] Hakyeon replied.

[I'm going to visit Badam later, is there anything you want to say to him as well? I'll tell him.]

[I'm fine. Have fun~]

[I will!]

Hakyeon looked at his messages with Jaehwan and as he read them, he realized that his conversations have been a lot gentler with Jaehwan rather than the usual strictness especially when it came to Jaehwan's studies. Ever since the incident of the SNU massacre, Hakyeon couldn't bring himself to demand much from Jaehwan for some reason. Has he suddenly gotten a lot softer with the younger finally?

Hakyeon has always been a bit on the strict side when it came to Jaehwan, not because he wanted to be hard on Jaehwan, but it was because he really wanted to have Jaehwan prove to his family what he's capable of. Jaehwan is good at a lot of things, but he never puts his heart into completing any of them. Hakyeon knows Jaehwan too well of what the younger can really do but Jaehwan always brushes him off when it came to academics. Hakyeon knows well that the Lee family despises him for 'taking' Jaehwan away. They have always thought Hakyeon as a bad influence and they were reluctant to adopt him in the first place. They must have regretted listening to their youngest son and having to take in a complete stranger.

Knowing that they expect nothing from Hakyeon, he also tried to work hard for himself to prove them wrong. He worked hard to enter university on his own and also finding his own part-time job. But unexpectedly, Jaehwan ended up following him. Jaehwan wouldn't listen to anyone else aside from Hakyeon and since the Lee family has their eyes on Hakyeon like a bunch of hawks, Hakyeon decided to be the one to guide Jaehwan as well. It was only a wishful thinking but if Jaehwan does well, maybe the family would eventually approve of the two of them being together all the time. They aren't Hakyeon's real family, and they never will be but Hakyeon wanted to be approved of because if they look down on him, they might even look down on Jaehwan too.

Even though he can do it if he tries... Hakyeon let out a deep sigh as he turned off his phone. He walked to the kitchen to set his dishes aside but as he passed by the calendar pinned onto his bulletin board, he noticed that next month was approaching fast.

"I didn't go last year... should I go this year?" Hakyeon finally remembers the date that was circled so importantly on his calendar. It was a day he has always been unsure of whether he should go pay a visit or not. It is his mother's death anniversary.

Whenever Hakyeon remembers even a spec of the past, he realized that it was really nothing worth remembering because it only brought him pain. But still, she is still his mother and Hakyeon still remembers her after all these years. Hakyeon didn't want to go to any of her death anniversaries for the longest time, using his school work as an excuse but Jaehwan would always be the one to pull him there.

Family is important, Jaehwan would often say. Yet, he didn't see his own family the same way. Hakyeon couldn't understand that point of Jaehwan of why the younger thinks Hakyeon's family is important but not his own. The younger has always put Hakyeon as the most important rather than himself as if anything that happens to him, doesn't matter as long as Hakyeon is safe.

He's such an idiot, Hakyeon sighed once more.

Despite having nothing worth remembering about the past, there was one good thing that came out of it all. That would be meeting Jaehwan after all.

Hakyeon wanted to go visit Badam as well with Jaehwan but at the same time, he still had a pile of work and research to complete before the end of the week. He also hasn't been getting enough sleep since he's been taking more shifts at work then he could possibly handle. Work and study, there was almost no time for him to relax because even a bit of his marks drops, his tuitions and scholarships would be in danger. Hakyeon has to pay for his own tuitions since it's not like the Lee family would fund for his education.

My head hurts just having to think about all these... Hakyeon sighed. I wish I could be as optimistic and care-free as Jaehwan sometimes. This sucks.

✣

When the police found JiWon's body, beaten and cold, Hana was just as upset as Wonshik did. Hana was very close to JiWon because she was her brother's girlfriend since they were in junior high. Hana was close to Wonshik's entire family and she loved how warm they were to her. They welcomed her gladly and often gave her the hospitality she could not imagine.

Hana's mother is a single mom who has to work day and night for the two of them. Hana's mother loves her a lot but she was seldom there to spend any time with Hana. Hana felt really alone most of the time until she started to go out with Wonshik. She was a bit worried about being introduced to the family at first and she was worried that she wasn't going to be accepted. However, not only did they accept her wholeheartedly but they also took her in as if she was already a part of the family.

She often found herself going over to Wonshik's place for dinner and even spent several nights sleeping over in JiWon's bedroom as well.

"What do you like about my brother?" JiWon asked Hana as they laid next to each other and sharing the bed before they fall asleep. "Isn't he a bit too stoic? Or boring?"

JiWon chuckled just thinking about how her brother must have confessed to Hana when he did and also how he must have panicked a lot trying to set up their dates together.

"That's the cute part of him, though. He blushes so easily but always tries to pretend he isn't freaking out. He gets over worried if you're not happy and he always wants the best for you. It's cute," Hana giggles happily as she told JiWon of all the times they went out and Wonshik might have made a fool of himself because he was worrying too much.

"I'm glad you're the one who is my brother's girlfriend. I can't imagine anyone else who would accept my clumsy brother," JiWon said.

Hana and JiWon shared a lot of stories together and often talked about Wonshik between the two of them. Hana grew to adore JiWon as much as Wonshik did and she could understand completely why Wonshik always doted on JiWon so much because even Hana found herself feeling the same. JiWon was born to be loved by others.

But when JiWon died, Hana felt like a part of her disappeared as well. She cried and mourned for JiWon's death and she wished so badly for the culprit to be caught just like Wonshik did. However, when she saw how broken Wonshik became over JiWon's death, Hana tried to be the calm and mature one in their relationship. She hoped that she could be there to comfort Wonshik and his sorrows. Yet, Wonshik rejected her kindness and only thought about finding the culprit on his own.

Hana couldn't help but feel disappointed and let down by the fact that Wonshik didn't rely on her as much as she wished he did.

I only want to help you and be there for you, why can't you understand and let me do that? Hana kept on questioning it.

Despite knowing that she's completely powerless when it came to finding the truth behind JiWon's death, she kept telling herself that as long as she can be there to support Wonshik, then everything would turn out alright.

"Please, just leave me alone," Wonshik said that night when Hana visited him once more.

"Can't you let me help you? I won't get in your way. I just want to be here for you," Hana tried to persuade him.

"Unless you catch JiWon's killer, I don't need you right now," Wonshik said harshly without thinking rationally that night.

With those hurtful words, Wonshik turned Hana away. Hana felt as if her heart was shattered into a million pieces, unable to repair what has already been broken. She walked away without another word and left Wonshik alone. She has always been the persistent one in the relationship and very patient with him whenever they went out, but this time, she couldn't take it anymore. As she walked through the empty streets that night, she accidentally walked pass where JiWon's body was found at the park. Out of curiosity, Hana decided to take a look.

The site has already been cleared out from JiWon's case and there was not a single clue left for Hana to find but she still wanted to see if she could do anything to help. Those last words that Wonshik threw at her... If she can find the culprit then everything could be fixed and things would return to normal.

Hana felt nervous as she walked deeper into the park. The air was filled with an eerie silence and not a single person could be seen.

She stood at the spot where JiWon was killed and found. A few seconds later, Hana's tears fell uncontrollably.

"Please JiWon-ah, tell me what I can do to help Wonshik. I just want to help him and be there for him. Why did he have to say those kinds of things to me? Can he see that I'm just trying to help him? I love him so much; can't he see that I just want to be there to support him when he needs it? Just what am I to him?" Hana was still in disbelief at the words Wonshik said to her and she began to question her role in Wonshik's heart.

Hana cried a lot that night standing at the same spot and staring down towards the ground, talking to JiWon who might or might not be listening. But then, as she tried to wipe her tears away, a rustling sound came from behind her. Hana jolt immediately in surprise and turned around to see what it was. As she did, a middle-aged old man came staggering and approaching her without a word. Scared, Hana stepped back in wary.

Hana's heart was racing in anxiety and fear, she looked at the man with caution. Her whole body was telling her to leave immediately because something wasn't right but she as she tried to make her escape, the man pounced onto her and grabbed her by force. He dragged her into the bushes where no one could see them and started to beat her. Hana tried to scream but the man stuck his handkerchief into her mouth so she couldn't do so.

Is he the one that killed JiWon? Then... I'm doomed, Hana thought as her tears fell down.

For a moment, Hana lost consciousness. Her world went dark and she really thought she was dead but when she regained consciousness again, she saw the man watching her, touching her with his filthy hands. He grabbed her and sniffed her like an insane man. Hana could smell the strong scent of alcohol coming from his breath. It was disgusting.

When he noticed Hana finally woke up again, he smirked proudly before ripping her clothes apart.

That night turned out into a nightmare.

Someone... help me... anyone... please help me, Hana cried as she watched the man violate her. I can't take this anymore.

When she woke up the second time, the man was already gone and out of sight. All she saw was the clouds covering the moon and the pitch darkness that surrounded her as she laid there helplessly. Everything was over and Hana was still alive but now, she would be forever traumatized.

"Hana, where were y-" her mother asked Hana as soon as she came home. Hana didn't return home until late and she wouldn't pick up her phone so her mother got more and more worried. But when she saw Hana at the steps by the door, she was in horror. "W-what happened?"

"I... save me, mom," Hana broke down. Her clothes were completely disheveled and her face was bruised from being hit several times.

Hana's mother was in horror to hear what had happened and she held Hana desperately in her arms, crying for her daughter's misfortune. Hana pleaded her mother to keep the incident a secret especially to Wonshik, as they reported the assault to the police. But as they waited for the report to come out, Hana found herself unable to return to her normal life again. She didn't want to go to school or have anyone see her at all.

What is this disgusting feeling? Hana asked herself countless times in the showers and bath. She found herself washing and scratching her body as if she was trying to clean herself even though she was beginning to bleed. She felt like she was going insane just thinking about what happened that night. Eventually, after a little while, Hana decided to leave to Canada for the rest of her studies instead.

However, the man who raped her that night was never found.

When Hana was in Canada, she disconnected herself completely from anyone who knew of her past especially in school. She came to fear of encounters with anyone whether it was in her college or just around her neighborhood. She simply attended classes and afterward, headed straight home without contacting anyone or attempting to make friends.

This disgusting feeling... I'm disgusting... don't touch me, Hana found herself repeating it in her head as she scurried through the campus in a hurry. She also started to find herself wearing more and more layer of clothes, hiding her skin from exposure even when it was summer. She would rather faint from the heat than let anyone see or touch her at all.

"I can't take this anymore, why is this so hard? Why do I have to keep living like this? Wouldn't it just be better if I just..."

Die.

The single word flashed before her eyes.

She didn't hesitate a moment as she bought a long piece of rope from a nearby story and flung it above the railing of her apartment as soon as she got home. She grabbed a chair and climbed up without a second thought.