Semi Eita || I'm not Her

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You were well aware of his past relationship.
You loved him, you loved him with all your heart. You thought that maybe, just maybe.. He'd let go of the past.

When he accepted your confession, you felt like the happiest girl in the world, but now, just remembering those feelings you felt that day, made you go completely numb.

To think that you could've helped him get through it. That your face could've been the first thing he'd get to see in the morning.

But you knew. You knew he'd wake up in bed expecting her. You knew he'd cry himself to sleep wishing to be in her arms. You knew he looked over the text messages they used to send each other. The thousands of pictures they took together. You knew he still loved her.

But even so, he made you genuinely happy. You wanted to spend every passing moment with him by your side. However, you knew that no matter how hard you tried. You couldn't do the same, because you weren't her.

You sat on his large mattress fiddling with the strings on your sweat pants. You couldn't go on like this anymore. It was far too one-sided despite how well he hid it. You needed to do it, for his sake, for your sake.

"Eita," your voice grew soft.

"(F/n)?" His eyebrows furrowed noticing the torn expression on your face.

"You know that I love you right..?" you smiled sadly leaning your head against his chest as he sat in front of you.

"Yeah.. I–"

"You don't have to say it back," you leaned back tucking a stray hair behind your ear. "I know."

His throat became dry, "W-what do you mean? (F/n).. don't look at me like that."

"I'm not her, I could never be her," your composure faltered and your voice cracked, "I wasn't enough to help you, I'm sorry."

His blood ran cold. He wanted to reach out to you. He wanted to hold you in his arms. He wanted wipe away all the tears that fell from your eyes and whisper sweet nothings to you, but you weren't wrong.

He loved you, but he still loved his ex too, and he couldn't let go. You didn't deserve it and he knew.

"You are enough! More than enough. I'm just stupid. I can't do anything right. I don't know why," he breathed heavily, "it's not your fault."

"I don't think your stupid," you stretching out your arms, you wrapped them around his torso, "you're incredible Eita."

He rested his face on the crook of your neck to hide the tears that fell carelessly down the sides of his face, "I'm so sorry," he sobbed, holding you in return.

"Only you can truly help yourself, and maybe it's time to focus on you, not me." you rested your hands onto his messy hair, "Eita, let's break up."

Those words struck him like a knife. It hurt you just the same. You both broke down in each other arms taking in the last few moments you would have together.

He didn't want to let go. He wanted you to stay. He wanted you to stand beside him as he tried to wrap his head around his problems. He wanted to pour all his affection on you. He wanted you to be the only girl he thought about. He tried so hard.

"I love you, I hope you know that," he released you from his embrace and placed his fore head against yours, "We both need time, and if it means that we'd have to do it apart, then I understand."

He wanted to beg you to stay. Tell you that everything would be okay and that you'll get through it together. However, he didn't, because he knew you'd give in. It was too selfish of him. He'd only be putting you in a more painful position than you already were.

He didn't want to hurt you anymore.

He watched you reluctantly crawl off of the mattress as he trailed closely behind you.

You slipped your shoes on and you grabbed the knob of the door.

"When I do get over her, do you think there's still a chance?... for us?" he spoke quietly breaking the thick atmosphere.

"Who knows, but don't keep me waiting," you turned around and smiled. Turning the knob of the door, "Goodbye, Semi."

A/n
Actually you know what hm..
I'm going to open up requests:))
mostly because i'm not very creative and it'll probably motivate me to write more. So feel free to drop down requests if you have any
it's always appreciated<3
I'll try my best to get to them!! And i apologize in advanced if i can't
Sorry for not posting often:(( but i'm always looking over at comments which are always so
enjoyable to read.
(oh and i may change the cover of the book hehe)
Okay i'll shut up now. Keep being beautiful
(•v• )

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