The evening chill blew through your hair making you shiver as it hit your neck. His hand was tightly wrapped around yours while he ran circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. You could tell that something was obviously bothering him, but you didn't want to pry this time.

"Can we stop by the park?" He smiled softly. You simply nodded your head wrapping the jacket he lent you closer to your body.

As soon as you reached the park he sat on the empty swing set motioning you to sit on the one beside him.

The air around the both of you began to grow thick as you swung on the swings. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of the chains moving and the occasional roars of cars passing by.

You came to a halt when you saw Oikawa burry his face into his hands. He sighed deeply craning his neck to look at the dark sky.

"I'm leaving soon," he said.

Your chest tightened taking a moment to steady your breath as anxiety began to crawl it's way up your body, "What do you mean, Tooru?"

"Somewhere on the other side of the world, I want to continue to pursue volleyball as a professional player."

"That's.. That's great Tooru! I'm happy for you! It's a big step, but knowing you, I know you're capable of—"

"But what does that mean for us..?"

"What do you mean?"

"(F/n), I'm going to be on the other side of the world! You'll be here pursuing your own dream. Everything would be different, our time zones, the way I'd have to communicate with you, the fact that you're not even going to be physically there.."

'If only you could just come with me, (F/n)'

You knew it'd be too difficult. You knew that you'd be risking your life if you dropped everything you've been working so hard for now. You knew that it just wouldn't work. No matter how much you wanted it to. Right?

"I want you to worry about yourself. Go and pursue want you want to pursue, but I would never want to be the reason for you to be held back. So go, don't worry about me. I'm happy for you, I truly am," your facade helped suppress the tears.

You were lost, but you didn't want to admit it. You didn't even know if the path you chose to take was the right one. Oikawa was far too out of your reach. 

"I'd be leaving everything behind, I'd be leaving us (F/n), and I don't want that to happen," he admits.

"Let's break up Tooru. If you can't do it then I will. Your future has so much in store for you, but theres no room for me," you smiled, "Have fun! Enjoy life there! Meet new people, learn their language, maybe.. fall in love again."

'I don't want to fall in love again, I am in love'

'I really don't want you to fall in love again, if only you could stay'

"You'll be okay?" he asked choking a sob.

"Yeah, I'll be okay," You walked over to him and pulled his head into your chest. You didn't want him to see your face, especially not now.

'You're such a terrible liar.'

'I'm a terrible liar.'

"When are you leaving..?"

"Next week, Friday."

"I see.."

~

"Thanks for walking me home, Tooru," you turned around and stared at your feet.

He could feel his chest tighten, he doesn't want to say goodbye, not yet, "Y-yeah.."

"I guess this is goodbye," your voice cracked.

'Don't go'

'I don't want to go, not without you.'

"Goodbye," He quickly wrapped his arms around you, "(F/n).."

"Have a safe flight."

'I love you.'
'I love you.'

~

The both of you haven't spoken since. He was leaving, today.

In a few hours, He'll be gone. You didn't even know if you'd be able to see him again. You were exhausted. The thought of never seeing him again burned through your mind, it kept you awake all night.

Regret.

Regret. Regret. Regret.

That's all you felt.

'No, I need to see him. Just one more time.'

You mustered up every last once of strength in your body to stand up run.

You ran until your bare feet reached the edge of the driveway of your home.

Was it raining?

Falling to your knees, you let the water soak through your clothes and hair.

You wouldn't be able to see him. You wouldn't be able to take it. You'd only be holding him back.

"Hah.. I've always been too weak to do anything. I can't even be true to myself!" You screamed, "I have no dream! I have nothing in store for me! Where do I stand now?! What do I do..? You were the one good thing that I saw in my future. What do I have left now?"

All the sorrow and pain hit you like a truck. After so many days of feeling numb, why now.

You curled up onto the sidewalk, a sobbing mess. You didn't care about the puddle you laid in or how the bitter cold nipped at your skin.

An hour had passed and you haven't moved an inch. It was still pouring rain. Tears silently fell from your lifeless expression.

"Have a safe flight, Tooru."

A/n
-oop
hope this was okay!
sorry no happy ending for this one :))
(if your comments fsr disappear then i probably tried to fix a dumb spelling mistake that was connected to it;-; sry 'bout that)
I was listening to "Oogway Ascends" and the nostalgia h i t me
it's confirmed, Oikawa is a tortoise.