Kita Shinsuke || Voicemail

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It baffled you. The man who you once trusted, the one person you gave your heart to, he threw it away as if it was nothing. He wasn't like that. He would never, but he did.


"I like you."

"Eh? You're lying."

"No."

"H-how can you be so straightforward Kita?!"

"I like you, (F/n)."

Was it all a lie? He never lied to you. Lying wasn't something he did.

You we're always honest to him. You showed him the most vulnerable parts about yourself. He was always there for you.


"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Something's wrong."

"I guess I'm not very good at hiding it.."

"You can tell me, I'm right here."

"Ah... I don't want it to seem as if I'm whining."

"You trust me don't you?"

"Of course."

"Then I don't see a problem."

"I guess you're right, thanks Kita.."

Your relationship with him was so important to you. You loved him, did he feel the same? Did you make any difference at all? Or were you just a nuisance. 

That day broke you, it was the day you just didn't feel alive.


"Shinsu!~ Good morning!"

"..."

"I almost slept in, thank god I made it on time though right?"

"..."

"Shinsu?"

"Yo! Kita-san! You want something from the vending machine?"

"I'm coming."

Kita walked away from you as if you were invisible.

Initially, you thought he was having a bad day. Until it continued for a few days. The constant neglect tore you bit by bit. Was he mad at you? Did you anger him in some way? He seemed fine with you before all this.


"Didn't you hear, (L/n)-san and Kita-kun weren't even dating in the first place."

"What?! I totally they thought they were! Well, I guess they never publicly said anything. I think?"

"Hey, that means he's single though!"

'What the hell? Where did they get that information? We're dating, right..?' you thought.

Oh how much you wished it was all a misunderstanding. A simple harmless rumor. Something that would go away after the day. Did he know about the rumor as well?

Is that why he was avoiding you?


"Shinsu."

"..."

"Shinsu."

"..."

"Kita! What's wrong with you?!"

"What do you mean?"

'Oh, so suddenly he can talk,' you grit your teeth.

"Seriously, you've been ignoring me for days as if I'm not even there. People don't think we're dating. You never bothered to even text me! Did I do something wrong?! Kita—."

"I'm sorry, but I don't think we've ever met."

"Hey, stop. That's not funny... Did you get hurt? Kita tell me you're joking..."

"Sorry, I can't talk right now. I have volleyball practice right now. Goodbye."

"...you're kidding."

You wanted to laugh. And you thought that if anything we're to happen, you'd be the heartbreaker in the relationship. Now this was a twist in your story. The earth felt like it was crumbling beneath your feet. The weight you held in your chest made it exhausting to even walk straight.

You used to look at him full of love, now all you could see is a broken static shadow that only brought terror and rage.


A few weeks had passed. You wanted to let it go. Free yourself. You didn't know what brought him to make such a terrible decision. He always made the right decisions. Calm, collected, a leader, a nurturer, intelligent, loving, kind, harmless.

This time he stooped to the lowest point imaginable. Even the biggest jerk wouldn't do such a thing.

You knew it wasn't the Kita you knew. Everyone messes up, even Kita.

You picked up your phone and called his contact for the last time. No answer, as usual. That's fine, hearing his voice would only hold you back anyways.

"Please leave a message after the tone."

*beep*

"Hey, it's (L/n) (F/n), in case you've forgotten already. This is the last time, I promise. No more hate, I don't want to hold any grudges anymore. For myself. Maybe you did make the right choice, but I was hurt. Even when there was no 'us' anymore, I was still hurting. If you wanted me gone, you could've just told me. I would've left. Of course I'd ask why, but you wanted me gone so badly, so if you had just told me I could've left on my own. You went out of your way to make it seem like I was never a thing in your life.
Kita, when you pretended as if you never met me before, you didn't seem okay. I knew that you were hurting, but I know it's not my place to ask you.. not anymore. Maybe it was my fault. I was hurting you. I hurt you so much to the point where you had to hurt me as much as you did. If only I could know what I did wrong to make you hate me so much.
Was there ever a moment where I made you happy? Did I ever make a difference in your life? Will you even remember me in the slightest? I love you so much Kita, but I guess it wasn't mutual. You hate me. You hate me so much don't you Kita? Hah...I'm sorry, that my existence only brings out the worst of you. Kita, you're kind. You don't have to be perfect.
Block me after this. Get rid of it. Even if you don't hear this, it doesn't matter, because you're free now. I know you didn't mean it. It's okay. I forgive you. Goodbye, Kita Shinsuke."

He screwed up. It'll leave a permanent mark on him for the rest of his life. He wasn't ready for a relationship at the moment. For the first time in his life, he felt confused, twisted, and conflicted. His stress only made him make such a terrible decision.

His anxiety forced him into a corner. It made him selfish. It was much too late for him to fix what he had shattered. Even if you found it in your heart to forgive him, he could never forgive himself. He could never bring himself to hate you.

"I'm sorry, not like that'll solve anything."

'Would you like to delete this voicemail?'

'Yes'

A/n
I need a manual, "how to make Kita angst" cause BBY WOULD NEVER DO THIS. But i guess anyone can make mistakes ;-;
Sorry he was OOC lmao i shall redeem myself,, one day
This was requested by _Azeire_ !!
thank you!!
and i'm sorry (;-;) not my proudest work but i didn't want to delete the draft hehe
I appreciate your request though!!:))

Updates are going to be slow because i'm planning to take some time to work on these (while also playing jumins route for the second time) Once i get that spark of inspiration again i'll be updating more. I enjoy writing these as well and it makes me genuinely happy that you guys enjoy it too:))
I'll be back!

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