Chapter Three: Denial and Lies

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

For the last two months, my routine was the same. I trudged up the stairs to the royal wing each morning and cleaned King Hadrian's quarters. My limp was an easy excuse as to why it perhaps took me a little longer than would typically be expected. Then, I spent the afternoon doing mind numbing, yet non-strenuous jobs in the kitchen. If I could spare the energy, I would read quietly in my room after dinner. Or, sit companionably with Edna or some of the girls I grew up with. I rarely mixed with anyone else, my shy reserve and secret predicament barring me from making new friends. Although, everyone was increasingly complimentary of a new sense of energy they observed in me, and more colour in my skin. Edna assumed it was from a less rigorous work schedule, and repeatedly told me she was pleased that she had reassigned me. I always smiled thinly at such compliments, not knowing how to respond.

In all my time in his quarters, I never saw the King. I was told I would probably never see him, as he was busy with duties and meetings on the other side of the palace or was travelling around his lands. Since the scandal of the Bane Pack, which had been revealed little over a year ago, there were increasing amounts of investigation checks into other fringe packs to check they were obeying the law.

There was less to do when he was away, no laundry or debris to clear up. To ensure I spent enough time amongst his things, I took those opportunities as an excuse to do a deep clean; I would tell the guard I needed to mop and wax the floors, or on one occasion... scrub the walls. I think the guard, who I have since learnt is called Henry, must think I'm incredibly dedicated and meticulous. Perhaps bordering on OCD.

Over the last few months Henry had never given up trying to get to know me. Each day he asked me how I was, or how I was settling in. I always gave as brief an answer as I could, often blushing with embarrassment. He was charming, in a roguish way, which just silenced me even more. I was an only child and never had the confidence or interest to mix with any boys; double the fact that Henry was a Wolfman.

With time, I felt I got to somewhat know the King. When fellow servants told me about how busy the board rooms were with various emissaries and ambassadors, but how cool and collected our King was... I quietly noticed the increased depletion of whisky in his cabinet, scattered or scrunched up papers (perhaps balled in frustration late at night) and half-eaten plates of food. I noticed a certain fondness for sweet treats: hot chocolate, small candies and the occasional pastry, which was rather amusing to me. The thought of my formidable royal mate drinking cocoa with cream somewhat humanised him in my mind.

He never seemed to have company, not as far as I could tell. No extra glasses or crockery had ever been sent for; he was clearly a man who liked his solitude. Unsurprisingly, he was fastidious in nature, everything had a home and never strayed far away from it. His taste in books were intriguing, where possible I tried to copy what he read: classical works, political history, some poetry. Anything written in another language was lost to me, but the rest I enjoyed immensely; forming various opinions as I went, wishing to discuss with someone what I thought, but too scared to say anything in case people grew curious of my source of inspiration.

Despite my disability, I was more fortunate than most growing up. My parents often encouraging me to read whatever they could scrounge: cook books, stories, odd documents. Whatever it was, we would cosy up as a three in their bedroom and read some bedraggled discovery of the week. Often times, if it wasn't something that naturally leant itself to being a story, we would either scavenge it for new vocabulary or used it as the basis for ideas. The dry spiel on how to make a spicy foreign dish became the beginnings of an Arabian plot, or a poster advertising entertainment for the Wolves' town became a whole evening's inspiration for circus tales or homemade ballads.

When I first came to this city, I couldn't believe the freedom in which humans and wolves alike wandered into book shops, public libraries and museums. My energy was much stronger then, on my weekly day off I would peruse them all in rapture. Writing long letters back home of all that I'd read and seen, enclosing copies of things when I could afford too. But, as the months wore on, the forewarned sickness began to creep over me. My day off was quickly used for sleeping, my mind stagnated as my appetite for food and life diminished, and my letters home became shorter and more lifeless. I dread to think how my parents must have worried, for only they knew of my predicament; a carefully avoided secret in all our correspondence.

Reading through my most recent letter from my mother, I notice her more hopeful tone about my increased appetite and change of circumstances. Whilst it is not written down, we both know what my close working for the King will mean, perhaps an extra 6-12 months before I fully sicken and die. A depressing thought, but not something I can see a way out of.

I rubbed my injected arm somewhat dejectedly. I had just turned 20; my implant was eight years old; I doubted I had two years left in me. No one in my village had lasted three, although they were just the ones we suspected of having a mate amongst the wolves but never confessed to anyone. Just... humans who wasted away unexpectedly. But, my parents not knowing at the time that surgeons would work out how to remove them early, had sent me here in the vain hope I'd either outlive its affects or change my mind about telling him.

Interrupting my musings, a small tap sounded on my door. Our rooms weren't big, nor particularly luxurious, but we did have the option of our own if we wanted. For that, I was supremely grateful. "Come in" I called.

Alice peaked her head round the door. She had the type of face that was always warm and smiling, nicely rounded but not plump. Clean, orderly hair but never styled fussily. We had been in the same school year then worked in the human sector's food shop together. I wasn't surprised that she took this opportunity to come to Ardel, the kinder climate being more suited to her I think.

"You've missed dinner again" Alice rebuked, although her tone was light. She came in, revealing a plate of sandwiches that was hidden behind her back. Trying to look sheepish, I apologised and made a bland excuse about getting caught up in a book. I knew that wouldn't surprise anyone who knew me well.

Alice smiled, but then her face became grave with concern. Her mouth opened and closed quickly, as she debated whether to say something that was on her mind. I tilted my head in question at her. "It's... it would probably be ok you know... if you were to" stuttering and whispering, as if revealing something taboo "if you were to tell your mate it's you."

Long pause. I allowed my eyes to drift off to stare blankly at the wall; I knew this moment would eventually come, but I still had no idea how to respond.

"Rose..."

Against my will, small tears formed in the corners or my eyes and tipped down onto my cheeks. "I'm just homesick Alice." I finally whispered.

Alice came and sat on my bed, placing the plate down on the floor. "They're different here" Alice whispered, "You remember what happened to Charlie when we first arrived." Of course I remember Charlie, I was the last to see her. She had been another of our number who had come to Ardel to work and had announced her surprise quite vocally when her mate walked into the shop she was a clerk in. Fortunately, she had the good sense to rip off her sleeve for everyone to see the intricate marks of her mating mark appear. Long story short, the two are now happily living together in the Delta district. Last we heard, Charlie was even pregnant and hadn't worked a day since.

I sighed, "It's not what you think Alice... I'm just homesick and my leg's been playing up." Tears still ran down my cheeks and I refused to meet her eyes. I hate lying and I knew she wouldn't believe me.

"Don't tell me it's because of your leg Rose!" Alice gripped my knees angrily, "He won't care! They're kind here; they won't treat us like they did!" Her voice rising in frustration at what she perceived to be my reason for silence. Tears carried on dripping down my cheeks; I was never any good at suppressing them. But, I stuck to my story.

"I'm just sick. You've misunderstood."

Turning my body away and refusing to say anything more when Alice tried pleading with me again. This encounter had come out of nowhere and I wasn't prepared to defend myself and I felt caught in a tunnel of stubbornness and fear. Eventually Alice gave up, sighing with disappointment as she moved to leave the room, "We both know how this will end Rose." Silence hung in the air for a moment as Alice struggled to find the next words to say, but instead opting for silence as she shut the door quietly behind her.

I swung my legs out of my bed and threw my head into my hands with a frustrated groan. I could trust Alice not to say anything to the others, but I could only assume she wasn't the only one to have guessed my predicament. I'm no actress, I'll admit it. But, my old classmates and peers always knew me to be introverted, close to my parents and rather poorly as a child anyway. I had always been more easily prone to infections and tired easily. In fact, they were all surprised to see me volunteer to come to Ardel at all, assuming my parents and I would want to stay close to one another.

I flung myself backwards against my bed with another groan. What now? I could return home to my parents. Use whatever precious time I have left with them. Although, I doubt they'd be best pleased. My mum would probably write to the King himself, begging him to accept me; or worse, knock me out and take me to a surgeon. I was only here because they begged me to spend some time in the Capital, learning about the wolf people for myself and to decide whether to reveal my pairing to the King. But, after everything I've learnt since being here... I know it would be too selfish of me to say anything.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net