Chapter Five: Welcome Home

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Main Citadel

The cloud horizon. Deep blue sky and the burn of the bright shine of the sun. Peace. Solitude. There had always been something calming in the sky. Gabrielle had always enjoyed the view and the feeling it brought to her, was it from a shore of her home city or through a window of a plane. It always made her feel comfortable and calm. Now she needed it more than ever before, after all the things that had happened to them. Sometimes she dreamed that she'd be a bird, so that she'd be able to fly out into the freedom, into that peace and quiet and escape all of her life. If she could only jump and dive into that sky. She'd be free of it all she thought, and craved it in a sort of way.

In the seat of the shuttle she imagined a lot of different things to guide her mind elsewhere from all of her concerns. She sat in a crumped up position hugging her legs, like a little child. She always liked sitting like that. Remnants of her childhood, one of few that brought her comfort. One of many things she couldn't still let go. It was a feature that Toshiro used to be fond of in her, whenever they sat down next to each other, her curled up under his arm. His body against hers. The warmth. Now all she had was those mildly cold extensions of her lower body that were meant to connect her to the ground she chose to stand on, but that she yet couldn't feel through them. Like everything else left in her life that she felt so petty– nothing felt like anything anymore. What was it all worth anymore anyway, she pondered in her mind.

"Gabe," Annie's voice woke her back from the depths of her mind. She startled and looked at her. "Your bleeding. Don't you see?"

Gabrielle looked at her fingers that she had used to nibble her lower lip with while buried in her thoughts. They were red with blood and more dripped down her jaw and onto her dress. "Oh, shoot." She tried to catch the droplets with her palms while she dropped down her legs and jumped up, heading to the toilet with a hurry.

"Are you alright?" She heard Annie asking but didn't respond. She needed to get to a sink and clean herself up before they'd see anyone else.

She rushed in and shut the door behind her and locked it. She needed some peace and privacy right now, no judging gazes and shaming words of wisdom from anyone. In the back of her mind she knew how bad of a mistake she had just done. "It was just a mistake, nothing more" she repeated to herself as she washed the blood off her hands and her face. 

It brought back ill memories of her younger self, those times she harmed herself to get punishment from mistakes she fell into. While nervously scrubbing and rinsing her hands and hoping the whole situation would go away, she knew that this little mistake would put her under special observation again, just like before. She hated it, although they always assured that it was for her best only. 

She looked at herself from the mirror. What she saw wasn't someone needing to be saved and cared of, but a pitiful, failed and yet again failing figure of a hideous woman. A thin red line of blood ran down her chin, spreading over the wet skin before dropping down into the sink splattering around the edges, messing the spotless white surface with transparent dots of light red. She turned off the water and let the blood run, knowing all too well that it would dry up and stop on its own after a little while. 

Her mirror image ignited a rush of despair inside her, shedding out tears that rained down to the sink together with the drops of blood. She tried to hold her breath again and keep herself quiet, knowing that Annie would be listening on the other side of the door. No one needed to know that she was breaking down to little pieces like she was. No one needed to know how bad she felt. She was a symbol of hope. That's what everyone kept saying to her. A savior and a hero, not a loser that she really was. She thought about the pressure such lies put on her and it made her sick. 

She leaned forward and let her forehead smack against the mirror surface and she just stood there against it, waiting until the bleeding and the tears would stop. She knew they eventually would. She knew it all too well.

Annie did her best and patiently waited in her seat. She browsed through news and notes and regularly checked the toilet door if it did yet open, but it didn't. Time after time she raised her eyes to the door, and it still remained locked and Gabrielle was quiet inside. She assured herself that everything was well with her, but she was starting to grow worried and impatient little by little. She tried to occupy herself with other things to think about but in the end the wait became unbearable and she couldn't just sit down anymore. She got up and went to the door and knocked the door in the subtle way she always did– with her fist.

"Gabe? Is everything alright in there?" She banged the door and yelled to make sure Gabrielle heard her.

"I'll be out in a sec," Gabrielle replied and opened her eyes now that her thoughts got interrupted by Annie's call and banging on the door.

"You've been in there for like half an hour already. Could you please open the door for me?"

"I'm alright."

"That's not what I asked. Open this door."

She really didn't want to open the door for her, nor did she want to understand why she was so eager to get it opened. Of course she was worried, so must had been everyone around her right now, but she didn't find a real reason to babysit her like that. But she knew that it wouldn't be wise to keep Annie waiting on the other side either. It would only end up making the situation worse than it already was.

"Gabe. Open this door. Now." She was getting impatient with her friend and yanked the door handle to try if it would open. "Don't make me break it up. Gabe? You know I'll do it."

Gabrielle turned the lock's knob and the door clicked and she pushed it open. Annie stood on the other side looking all worked up, but so was she. There wasn't any need to threaten her with violently breaking in, as she thought of having been fine in there for the whole time. "There. You happy now?" She asked with a sarcastic tone and spread her arms to her sides.

"What's taking you so long in there?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. The bleeding just wouldn't stop."

Annie stood still, looking at her friend and observing her. She suspected Gabrielle left something untold but generally she seemed fine. "Okay. I just needed to check," she said and turned around to head back to the seats.

"Okay," she mimed her to vent her own frustration. "I still need to clean up, okay? I'll leave the door open for you."

Annie walked away without saying anything. Gabrielle watched her sitting down and then opened the tap to rinse the sink clean of blood stains and splatters. She wiped the mirror clean and took one more look at herself. She barely had any makeup left on, but it didn't matter. They were nearly home after all.

She came out and closed the door. On the way back to her seat she took a lightning fast glance at Annie to see if she was staring at her, but luckily she browsed her tablet and didn't pay attention to her. She sneaked back to her place and the whole way there made sure that even accidentally didn't take another look at Annie. She knew that Annie was still following her every step although she acted like she didn't. The tablet was surely only for a show. The thought made her anxious and she felt relieved to arrive at her seat and to be able to just fall into it and continue what she was doing before this sudden incident. She raised her legs up into her lap one by one and settled to stare out of the window like she did before. A perfect way to act occupied but be absent of the present moment.

"Are you alright now?" Annie asked from the other side, still looking at her tablet and scrolling it slowly.

"Sure. Uh-huh," Gabrielle responded. She was bitter for not even having her chance to drift off and relax. She knew that she'd have to turn and look at Annie now, so she did and put on the thickest fake smile she could generate at that instant.

Annie raised her eyes up to Gabrielle and didn't stare at her for a full two second before rolling her eyes around to her poor imitation of an emotion. "Oh, please. If you're going to try and hide your misery from all the people of this world, at least try to do a better job at it, alright? I suggest putting on sunglasses or something."

Gabrielle dropped her smile immediately, Annie's words offended her and again made her feel even more beaten than she already was. She didn't guess it could had been possible, but obviously it was. She weighed her head down and apologized. "Sorry."

"What? No," Annie was surprised. She stood up and walked to a seat opposite to Gabrielle. "I didn't mean it like that. Don't misinterpret me, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay," she agreed, feeling a flash of bad mood and sorrow trying to surface some tears into her eyes again. Her lips began to shake and she breathed in and held it yet again, hoping it would help keep it at bay. All she could hope was that it wouldn't show through.

"Listen. What I meant was–" Annie began and stopped to look at her and saw a skin thin shell of pretension that was supposed to be the Gabrielle she knew. Beyond that crackling image was a black hole that sucked out joy of life, happiness and hope from what was left of her. "Look. You're in a bad place. I can see– I know it. I already told you. And I know how to cover that– that sinking feeling– from the others..."

Gabrielle breathed out and felt the bad feeling calming down. She watched Annie talking to her and the calm seriousness that she sensed from her took her out of her own mind for the time being. Instead it made her suspicious, cautious of what was this all about. It still wasn't the usual her.

"...be neutral. Don't act that you're fine, okay? Because everyone who knows you knows that you're not, and they're going to see straight through you– just like me. But don't show how miserable you also are. Control your feelings, and you'll be fine. Do you get that?"

"Uh-huh. Act neutral."

"Good," Annie said and looked at her, imagining how she'd behave once they'd get back to the Citadel. "You'll do it fine."

She stood up to walk away and give Gabrielle some space to be and think, but before she got two steps further, Gabrielle stopped her.

"Hey, about the lip thing–"

"Yeah. Listen– the door, I– I had to know you were alright. I, uh–" she sat back down for one more moment to finish her sentence. "Tom told me to keep an eye out for you, just for a case like this. Like he would had known."

"Oh. Okay?"

"Hey. He's a good man. He sees a lot of potential in you, doesn't want you to waste it."

Gabrielle didn't know what to say, so instead she shed another fake smile without thinking about it much.

"I gave him my word, so I have to tell him about this, but don't worry about it okay? I'll try to tell him that it was an accident or mistake or something. Alright?"

She looked at her and the fake smile faded away, but then she felt a real smile, an expression of gratitude surfacing through her face. She nodded. "Thank you," she said staring Annie's brown and yellow eyes that quickly turned away like she'd got scared of her reaction.

"Sure," Annie replied and walked back to her own seat and grabbed the tablet again to continue her work.

Gabrielle stared out of the window and thought about Thomas telling Annie to keep her eyes on her. It made her better understand why Annie had been acting the way she had over this trip and she was right that it wasn't the usual behavior from Annie that she was used to. She had never understood why he, the chief of their whole organization kept her so valuable and important, although she was a nobody with no talent in her own opinion. It occupied her mind.

Annie scrolled down the screen, stopping every now and then to take a closer look at something that caught her attention. Then she tapped it and a news report started playing. "...the officials are investigating the strike as an act of terror. Members of New Mombasa's administration and chief staff of Citadel's Offices of Protection and Security are sued by..." She quickly tapped it again to stop the playback, knowing that Gabrielle didn't need to hear more about the incident.

"Fuck's sake– Viki," she woke up her A.I. assistant. "Is there anything about the officials' meeting that Pine took part of today?"

"My searches brought up fifty eight official news articles and three thousand five hundred eighty eight relevant topics online– and counting."

"I'm not interested about people's opinions."

"Do you want me to show the most relevant news coverage about the topic?"

"Go ahead."

Like the map back at Shizuoka shrine, the video playback was fed straight into Annie's virtual vision in the receiver implants inside her head. For her it was just like watching a broadcast from a transparent cinema screen right in front of her but for an untrained mind it could had been a disorienting experience seeing something playing right inside their vision.

"...according to the latest reports the Citadel administration has been accused for war crimes and treason among many other things, and are called for court by many behalves, the Isacap or International Supervision Agency of Creator Affairs and Politics being the leading party, United States backing them with their resources if and when needed they say. Here is the interview of the President of..."

"Yes. Bring it to the big screen."

"Yes, ma'am."

The front wall of the shuttle suddenly lit up and the news report Annie was just watching shifted from her personal cognition to the wide image that Gabrielle had access to as well.

"...Bishop at the White House. 'We just came from a meeting with the top leaders of mankind and the aliens that are trying to take over this beloved planet. Let me tell you, right now, that the beginning of a new time is about to start. The aliens have three weeks time to surrender to us, for the God's created humankind, so that we can put them face to face with judgement like the Romans did with the Jews and the Jesus Christ. I can announce now, that the United States of America will fully support the main party of this disagreement, the, uh– wait I have it– yes, the I-sa-cap of U.N. Together we will fight– for our freedom and our independence. Fight until we win. God bless us all...' GNN asked the head of U.N.'s Isacap..."

"Jesus– where does this guy come up with these citations?" She sighed and thought about the direction the situation was evolving to. "What do you say about that, Gabe?"

"Uh– I think the Romans were the bad guys of that story he referred to," she said after a thoughtful few seconds. Annie gave it a laugh.

"Don't know about that but fits him," Annie said and leaned her face against her hand. She took a deep breath and sighed again. "This is going to cause us some trouble, I'm sure."

Gabrielle felt like she should had said something back to her, but Annie seemed unusually worried and she didn't know what would had been the right words to ease her up. A feeling that she was failing to communicate and help her friend weighed her. Inside she wanted just to escape the whole situation, so that she wouldn't had to handle the trouble of bearing with yet another failure. She ended up not saying anything and turned back towards the window to stare at that same skyline she had looked at for the majority of their trip. On her shoulders she still felt the pressure of not participating in the conversation and Annie's heavy worry while she thought about the upcoming troubles they would probably face in the following weeks. And her worries made them both worried. Gabrielle couldn't escape it even though she wanted to.

What if the surrounding countries were indeed conspiring with the U.S. like Thomas had heard, and they'd attack their main Citadel when the three week time limit was over– would she and Annie be able to fight against them together, while the masses tried to run away. She speculated and imagined multiple horror scenes of the Citadel burning, everyone dead and dying around them, which lead her to the biggest question that would she be able to do it. What if she'd fail to protect them– again like in New Mombasa. Would it all happen again, all because of her incompetence to succeed– No. She could leave. She could resign and go away– then the others would have a chance to succeed and survive, she thought. But she knew she wouldn't dare to do it.

Time passed by while she pondered the future, and soon they noticed their shuttle decreasing altitude and speed and diving through the cloud mattress. Dropping down below it they saw the coast of Panama and Colombia in the distance. A sign that they were close to the main Citadel now. The home of Citadelian leadership, of the Creators and the OPS headquarters. It was where Annie was from, and Thomas, but for Gabrielle it was only just another temporary stop before they'd apparently take off to Mars for good. There was only one place like home for her, and it had burned down in flames with her dreams and hopes, her friends, and her most loved ones.

"Attention passengers. Orders have been received from the Chief of Protection. We will change course and head to OPS headquarters immediately," the pilot A.I. informed them.

Annie looked up at Gabrielle and she looked back. "What I told you. Trouble."

She had a feeling that Annie was right, but hoped that it wasn't about that what was coming at them. But being called in by the Chief– their boss, meant that something was up and their collective attention was needed. It made her more worried and that wasn't anything that she would had needed right now.

The shuttle flew lower the closer they came to the Citadel. Ground swarmed them below. A green mass of the Amazon jungle, until came the walled outskirts and the metropolis of the main Citadel. By the size it couldn't match the one in Hokkaido and the structure was more uniform without the mixture of buildings and architecture. It was its importance that mattered. Its independence from other governments. Standing on their very own ground that they had bought times ago from the country of Brazil, it made them completely autonomous, self-reliant entity. New Mombasa, surrounded by sea, was one just like them until it faced its end, raising the main Citadel's importance greatly.

Gabrielle stared the city around them as they flew over it. All around there were clear signs of a mass exodus coming in progress. Piles of property in the streets in crates and containers, people packing them up into trucks and cargo shuttles that were landed in every rooftop, plaza and opening there was around the city. It reminded her of New Mombasa– if they would had had the time to properly prepare for the evacuation. But no–


It was a chaos. She clearly remembered the view, the hassle around her as she was airborne inside her Sentinel, flying between it all. Shuttle after shuttle crammed up with panicking citizen in

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