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Agustin's pov.......

I raked a hand through my hair in frustration. How the fuck I didn't figure it out before that Jacob was talking about Onika in that interview, he had been in love with her all this time right under my nose and I never for once considered that he secretly loves my wife, that motherfucker, this runs deeper then I thought. I assumed he must be talking about one of his past flings. Christ, how wrong was I.

The worst part is I think Onika has a soft corner for him as well, I hope it's just that and nothing more. Fucks this. He needs to stay away from her, or else he will pay dearly. I am already walking on thin ice and the last thing I want is for Jacob to jeopardize whatever little chance I may have with Onika.

How I want to just fire him, but I know it won't sit well with Onika.

I was brought out of my reverie by a knock on the door.

"who is it?" I asked in an irritated voice. This Office won't even let me grieve in peace.

"It's me, Onika," came Onika's soft, angelic voice.

Fuck. I immediately hide her file in the drawer, yes I have brought her file to Office, I just can't keep my mind away from it, it's like I want to read it in one go and at the same time I don't even have the courage to read her single entry without feeling my heart being torn in two.

I immediately straightened up and called her in.

"Please come and sit" I said, as soon as she entered.

"So, to what do I owe being blessed by your presence," I said teasingly with a little smile.

Instead of answering, She just kept staring at me as if I have grown two heads.

"What's the matter?" She asked, her eyes still looking at me with that soul reading gaze. My heart picked a pace, for a moment I thought she had seen the file, but that is not possible I tried to reason, and asked," nothing, why do you ask?"

"Your eyes are bloodshot, you have developed bags under your eyes overnight, it looks like you haven't slept in ages! Are you sick or something?" She asked, frowning at me, her voice laced with concern.

Right at this moment, with concern for me in her eyes, she is looking so beautiful that I just want to kiss her senseless. This is the nearest thing to affection I have got from her in ages.

"Agustin, I am talking to you." She said, waving a hand infront of me, that brought me out of my trance.

"No, no I am perfectly fine...I just didn't sleep well beacuse of a little...headache." Heartache instead and a lot of it, I said silently.

"You want to take the day off?" She asked, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively. Plain adorable, is what she is. Okay, I need to control this.

"No, I am fine now, ..." She cut me off.

"You don't look fine to me, anyway a little rest won't harm.." She tried again.

"Onika I am okay, really and one more time you insist, I will get the false Idea that you still care for me."

She frowned at me.

"But I do care for you." She said without missing a beat, and I felt my heart jump out of my cage.

"It's just not in the way you think, I only care for you as much I will care for any other human being, nothing more nothing less," she added sternly looking in my eyes, showing me that she ment every word.

I felt my heart sink at her words, if she would have denied that she cares for me it would have been easier, because I know that would be a lie, but saying she cares for me nothing more than any other person hurts way more, but can I blame her. It's more than I can ask for that she still cares atleast as much she will care for any other human being, even after I have been anything but humane to her.

" You are here that means it must be something work related I presume" I asked politely to diverge her attention to safer topics.

"Oh yes, actually I am here to remind you that today you have to attend, a very important business party hosted by one of your most important business client, Mr.Griggs. So I have cleared your diary for the evening."

Fuck, how did I forget about that, I really am whipped.

"Can you accompany me?" I asked almost instinctively, then hurriedly added a "please..."at the end.

Her lips twitching a little at that.

"Do I have the liberty to reject?" Her voice serious now.

"From now on you will always have the liberty to choose."

She arched a brow, with an uncertain expression on her face she asked, " is that so? Then should we put it in theory"

I know exactly where this is going," of course with certain exceptions...just a few" which involves you walking away from me.

"Just a few which I am sure covers every thing that matters to me...." She said, giving me a disappointed look, after a pause she continued.

" anyway leave it, I don't want to do this in office, we are here to work so let's stick with it, as for your answer. I will accompany you but as your PA, not as your wife."

I gave a stiff nod, as much as it hurts, I know I have only myself to blame, right at this moment I don't even consider myself worthy of breathing the same air as hers.

"Okay, then I should get back to work." She said.

"Wa..wait! Onika I have to say something," I said nervously, not knowing how to frame my words.

"Shoot" she said, giving me a suspicious look.

"I..I...want to tell you that I will never separate Alex from you, I am sorry that I threatened you with it in the past, but believe me I was never actually going to act on it."

I thought that she will be relieved to hear that, but instead I could see suppressed anger in her eyes, "yes you were never going to act on it because you knew I won't give you any change to do so, because where Alex is concerned I am ready to do anything, and you new that and have exploit the fact very well, You knew you won't have to act on it because I will bow to your every whim rather than giving up on alex, so don't pretend to be magnanimous, you ain't fooling no one."

I just looked at her completely speechless, I composed myself and said,

"I can't possibly say that you are wrong, I won't deny it, I have done many thing in the past I am ashamed of, listing them time again isn't going to change anything, all I can assure you is it won't happen in the future, I am sorry I have nothing else to offer other then my words, you have to believe me."

I saw a cruel smile forming on her lips, making my heart go still with dread of what was about to comes whatever it is I already know can't be good for me, I prepared my heart for the another blow, one among the countless to come.

" Believe you? Yeah sure" she said with heavy sarcasm.

"Why is that? Have you given me any reason to believe you. You may mean what you said now, but as soon as things won't go in your favour you will go back at your words, that is what happened in the past and I have no reason to believe that won't happen in the future. So sorry when I say I don't believe you and never will...we are nothing more than familiar strangers, trust is a heavy thing to insert in such kind of relation."

Familiar strangers, that is what she think of us, please Onika, stop killing me like this, I begged mentally.

"You are right you have no reason to believe me." I said, admitting defeat....but soon I will give you reasons to believe me, I vowed internally

"That's what I thought." Saying that she got out of the cabin, back to her work.

I just kept staring at the wall infront of me purposelessly before I finally took out her file, it seems torturing myself has become my new hobby. I wonder if I will get out of all this without a nervous breakdown.

Nervous breakdown, I would have laughed at the word few years back. You never know what is kept for you in reserve, I sighed heavily and startedโ€‹ reading her file.

......................................

#Day 9

Today, an agonizing memory came crushing down at me.

Your mother always used to come to me behind your back and warn me to stay away from you, once she said that, I am just one of your many flings and you will eventually throw me aside once you get bored of me.

I clenched my hands tight to prevent myself from doing something I will regret later, she is your mother after all.

I still remember my reply to her, " it's a pity that you think so low of your own son, Mrs. De Luca, but let me tell you our love is not that shallow, and about one thing I am as sure as my existence is, Agustin will always stand by my side, always, no matter what and I intend to do the same."

You know what Agustin, You were always right to say, I have a good sense of humour. Damn good. I just never knew that the joke was on me.

I should have known, a mother knows her child the best, she was right all alone

............................................

#Day 10

People say don't waste your time on someone who is not worth you, guess what? I know it all, I have heard it all, but it seems my nightmares doesn't care about what people say.

..........................................

# Day 11

I wish, I haven't ever seen you.

I wish, I haven't been selected as your PA, that day.

I wish, I haven't married you.

And above all I wish, I never loved you.

But the brutal truth is, no matter how much I wish, nothing is going to change now. But that still doesn't stops me from wasting my time, thinking, how I could have done things differently.

...........................................

#Day 12

Today I woke up in the middle of night with a jerk. I was sweating profusely. My palms were a bit shaky with the aftereffect of the nightmare. I heard Alex crying loudly, it was then I realized I had screamed hard, hard enough to wake him up from his peaceful slumber like countless other nights.

I immediately took Alex on my lap to soothe him, it took me nearly half an hour to calm him down and assure him that everything is all right, before he finally feel asleep clutching my fingers tightly as if expecting someone to come and snatch him away from me. Even the thought of it made me shiver in terror.

I tried to console myself, to calm myself. But deep down I know, when Agustin finds me he will make my life hell again.

'Right at this moment I hate you the most Agustin, more than I have ever done before. I hate you with every fibre of my being.

Fucking stop torturing my child as well. You motherfucking bastard.'

But what's more, I hate myself as well for being such a weakling. I never anticipated that it would be this hard to get you out of my mind even after running away. I am miles away from you but you still haunt my mind, day and night.

But, not my child, please not my child. I am scaring Alex as well, and this is killing me.

With every breath I take, I bleed.

With every second that passes something within me dies.

You will never be forgiven for this Agustin, I vowed.
..............................................

The steel bar of guilt closed around me. She stood up for me at every opportunity, even without me knowing it, and this is how I have repaid her.

I closed the file, my eyes stinging with tears of guilt.

I felt something wet on my hand, it was then I noticed, I was clutching my car keys so hard that it had cut the skin over my palm and blood was gushing out of it.

I saw the blood and thought, if someone takes out my heart right now, this is how it must look, bleeding raw.

********************
Today was a really stressful and tiring day for me, writing this chapter was the best part of my day.

Hope you all like it!! If yes then please vote, comment, and share. It would mean a lot to me.๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

Have a nice day,
Until next.
Ricky โคโค

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