Grandmama's Diary: Second Entry

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Dear Journal,

I woke up to the chickens singing as I always do, enjoying their serenade. I was able to know which sound came out of which chicken from when I used to wake up at 6 in the morning and watch them sing, although I was no more than 8. I slowly rose from my bed and noticed that once again, my window was swaying in the wind, the lock failing at its only duty. Luckily it wasn't cold.

I stood up from my bed, my nightgown clinging to my skin. I slipped on my slippers that were sitting at the side of my bed and wobbled over to my window, my legs not fully awoken. I locked it again, although I don’t know why I bothered, and headed for my door.

The moment I cracked my door open Bruce came running in, his tail swinging like an upside down grandfather’s clock while he ran in circles around my feet. I bent down and rested my hand on his back making him stop at the thought of me petting him. I was nice and moved my hand up and down his back, feeling his soft fur inbetween my fingers.

“Bruce, I haven’t the time to play today. I have to get ready-” Bruce stopped me by barking as if he didn’t like the idea. He sat down on the ground and looked up at me, his eyes big and adorably pathetic. I picked him up by the sides of his torso and rose to my feet myself as I spun him around. Panting, he obviously enjoyed it, putting a smile on my face.

I loved Bruce as if he was my child. He was luckily only 5 so I didn’t have to worry about him leaving me any time soon, although I knew the day would come and I dreaded it so. I truly wished he could live all my life and die simultaneously so we could reunite in heaven. I loved him that much.

“My sweet, what are you doing? You must stop getting distracted. It’s the day of the ball! Come, we mustn’t be late. You must prepare yourself with diligence,” my mother lectured as I put Bruce on the floor. He proceeded to run out of the room, his tail continuing to swing.

“I know Mother, I’m sorry-”

“We have no time for apologies. Come, let us bathe you,” she said, her voice overpowering my own. I could tell she was excited, and I have to admit I was too. Her face was lit up in a way I hadn’t seen in a long time. I loved that she was so happy, making me happy too.

She left the room, already being fully dressed and prepared for the day, and led me to the bathroom, turning the bath and heaters on with a match.

“Prepare the water and I will go get your undergarments. I shall be back to help you clean yourself.” I simply nodded and she was gone. I thought I was perfectly capable of cleaning myself but she was paranoid with anything involving the wealthy and so she had to make sure I was clean, although her help would allow me to go faster, which I did need. The ball began at 1 and it was already 8.

I waited until the water was warm before I undressed, laying all my clothes on the sink counter and slowly enter the bath’s soothing water.

Beginning to poor water over my back and shoulders, my mother came in carrying a small pile of clothes and two small glass contains. One was a light purple and had a pair shape with a golden top while the other was white, having a circular shape with a sliver top.

As she placed the pile of clothes next to my folded up nightgown she sat on the closed toilet behind the back of the tub. “I have had these for a while but I wanted to save them for a grand situation, such as a ball. It is lavender body wash and vanilla shampoo. If you want to wash your body I can do your hair,” she said.

I couldn’t believe she bought body wash and shampoo like that. Something of that quality would easily be over $100 each. I felt overly spoiled and couldn’t believe the lengths they were going for the ball.

My mother was the queen of hair and makeup in my life, and even rich townsfolk admitted she was the best in town. Nobody could use makeup or apply as well as she could or know how to blend colors, and she could make dog’s hair look beautiful if she tried, so I trusted her when it came to preparing me for the ball.

“Now, hold your hand out so I can give you body wash,” my mother said as I followed her directions. She poured some of the creamy lavender body wash onto my palm and I retracted my hand, lathering the soap with water inbetween my hands.

I then started to wash myself, holding my legs up in the air to wash them as I slowly washed my entire body. Meanwhile, Mother was diligently washing my long brown hair. We seemed to both finish simultaneously as we started to rinse out the soap.

“Darling, may I ask you to dip your head while I rinse it out?” she asked sweetly. I nodded and turned to face her, sitting on my knees.

After taking in a deep breath I submerged my head and felt her hands washing all the soap out of my hair. The moment I didn’t feel her hands I slowly lifted my head out to meet my mother’s happy gaze.

“You are cleaner than you have even been darling, and you will smell marvelous up close,” she said as she rose to her feet, grabbing a towel from on top of the laundry hamper.

Slowly rising from the water, I was wrapped in a towel and helped out of the bath. She helped me sit down on the toilet seat as she grabbed another towel and dried my hair. Several minutes later I was dry and she took the towels before handing me my undergarments.

I put on my panties and began to slide the corset on. I started to try and pull it tight as my mother grabbed the strings from me. She pulled tightly as I let out huffs and moans in pain. It felt as if she was compressing my stomach into a thin strand but I knew it was all to make sure I was as skinny as possible, a necessity in today’s society.

The corset finally on, we left to my room and my mother left me there to go get the dress. I sat on my bed for a few minutes before my mother came back in with the dress and shoes. She helped me put on the dress and shoes, letting me think we were done.

“Mother, we have plenty of extra time, we didn’t have to rush.” My mothers’ jaw dropped as she stared at me in disbelief.

“You still have to prepare your makeup and hair. We are far from done,” she said as she wrapped her soft fingers around my wrist ad led me out of my room and into her vanity chair that was stationed in her bed.

She had me sit facing her as she clipped all my hair behind my face and began to do my makeup. It seemed to take an hour and it was rather painful, the eyeliner having to be pushed way too hard to be visible.

My makeup finally done, the chair had already become uncomfortable to sit in when she started on my hair. That seemed to take equally as long and by the end of it all I was more than excited to stand up.

“You are done and truly beautiful,” she said right after she soaked my wrists and neck in rose bush perfume. I took a deep breath, smelling the perfume, before I turned and looked in the mirror.

My skin was as pale as snow, my lips as red as a rose, my cheeks rosy like an apple, my eye lids purple as an amethyst, and my eyelashes as black as coal. I couldn’t believe how mature I looked. My dark brown hair was twisted in a bun with my long bangs parted and spilt in front.

“Oh thank you, Mother. I can’t believe how pretty you made me!” I said as I jumped to my feet turning to her. She was smiling and went to kiss me before she stopped, her eyes large as if she’d forgotten something.

“Oh my, I forgot your nails. Sit down again dear,” she said, disappointing me. I didn’t care that she’d forgotten my nails, I didn’t want to have to sit down again, but I did. She grabbed shimmering blood red nail polish and began to carefully paint my nails, one by one. He took my shoes off to paint my toe nails, although I didn’t see how they mattered, being covered by the shoe.

When she was finally finished I stood up and waved my hands back and forth, occasionally blowing on them. “Let me go check the time my sweet. Stay here and try to dry your nails,” my mother said as she left her bedroom.

I paced back and forth in the room as I waited for her. It soft red carpet went well with the dark wooden walls, most of the furniture being built of wood by my father. He was a good carpenter and they looked fairly expensive, although they were free.

When my mother finally came back my nails had already dried, being made obvious by my arms dangled loosely to my sides. “It’s time. You must leave with your father on a horse now,” she said, her voice sounding urgent.

“Okay Mother, I love you.”

“I love you too my sweet. Be sure to remember your manners and I am sure you will blow lucky Kaden off of his feet.”

“I will, goodbye,” I said as I left the room and walked outside to meet my father preparing a horse.

“Darlin’, you are the most beautiful doll I have seen in all my life,” my father said, a smile covering his face.

“Thank you Papa,” I said as he helped me onto the back of the horse’s two-person saddle.

My father hopped on in front of me and started us on our way, the old dirt road filled with carriages and horses ridden by dashing men and porcelain women. My father looked like a slob wearing his farmer’s attire, but I didn’t care.

It took nearly fifteen minutes before we arrived, my father getting off and helping me down. I was quite surprised to see my dress was more extravagant than most of the ones other girls wore, but I’m sure they probably had a lot more money anyways.

"Goodbye Darling', don’t let any of them run over you with their money. You are better than all of em'. I love you. Ill be back to get you at 7," my father said quietly, his blue eyes staring into my own.

"Okay, Papa," I replied with a smile as he turned and started on his way home. I didn't think I was better than them like he did, but I knew he was trying to shield me from the rude ways of the rich. I turned and headed towards the two large open doors that lead into the mansion, the hall just beyond it filled with people.

I approached slowly, observing the young girls and their dashing dates walk past me, shoving me out of the way with their shoulders. Once I finally entered I was greeting by Mr. Siegfried who was standing right beside the doorway, partaking in short conversations with each guest.

“Why hello, Madame Amelia,” he said as he took my hand. I curtsied and he kissed my hand as I rose to my feet. “Kaden shan't be disappointed with thou as his maiden.”

I couldn’t believe how much praise he gave me. It made me feel truly beautiful. Smiling, he gestured for me to walk past him so he could converse with the next guest. Normally I’d find it rude but I knew he had easily over a hundred guests to greet so I kindly went on my way, awkwardly walking into the crowd of circled people discussing different things.

I found my way to the ball wanting to meet Kaden but as far as I knew he wasn’t there and I ended up sitting on a bench against the wall of the ballroom as women in large dresses danced with tall, elegant men.

There was a small orchestra on the stage on the far end of the room that filled the room with music, none of which I recognized. It was a long rectangular room with a high roof that held a large golden chandelier, holding hundreds of lit candles that illuminated the room with a feeling of happiness.

Everything, the floor, walls, and ceiling, were made of a light golden brown wood, but the walls had intricate swerving designs that were a rich dark brown, the pattern slightly raised off the wall.

Not only did I look it, but I felt very awkward sitting there, alone, watching others dance. Then it hit me. I had never danced in my life and I was supposed to dance with a rich bachelor? I hoped dancing came fast to me.

I entertained myself by fluffing the ruffles on my dress and messing with different parts of my gloves, hoping nobody was watching. I traced the black swirls on the dress with my finger, finding the thin swirls and my gloved fingers weren’t easy to keep together.

“Amelia, let me apologize on Kadens behalf for making thou sit here alone. He will be here very soon, I assure you. He arrived late and is getting ready for you. I assume you shall be forgiving if not thankful, am I correct?” Ms. Siegfried said as she approached me, sitting beside me on the bench. I quickly looked up from my dress to see her staring at me as I processed what she said.

I couldn’t believe how rude she was. I wasn’t angry, but I wouldn’t be thankful. I wanted to just ignore her but I also didn’t want to shame my family, so I responded, “Yes, Ms. Siegfried. I am not angry.”

“But are you thankful?” she insisted. It was like she thought I got nothing in my life and was happy to be given to such a rich bachelor, but I wasn’t. Something about her tone made anger boil up in my stomach as I desperately tried to hold it in.

“Yes, Ms. Sieg-”

“Oh, and one more thing. Thou must listen and respect Kaden’s wishes. You shall slave to please him if necessary. And if you fail to please him I shan’t let the marriage proceed. And I doubt you want to go back to your filthy farm life-”

“Mother, please stop,” said a voice from behind me. It was a deep and ravenous voice with a kind demeaning. I quickly turned to see the bachelor I had been waiting for. He was tall with short, thick black hair. His face looked strong but delicate in a way with big eyes, thin lips and a perfect nose. He smiled at me before his mother, Ms. Siegfried, ruined my reverie.

“Kaden, where are your manners. Introduce yourself to the maiden your father and I worked so hard to get.” I couldn’t believe how rude she was. I thought she just had it out for me but she even treated her own soon with her proper rudeness, and I couldn’t believe she spoke so lowly of me. I was not just a maiden.

“Madame Amelia, I am Sir Kaden Siegfried,” he spoke, his words rolling of his tongue with the elegant tone his family knew how to use all too well.

I stood as he took my hand, kissing it as I curtsied. His lips felt so soft through my thin cotton gloves. As I came to meet his gaze I saw he had deep light blue eyes that sparkled in the candle lit room. I was entranced by his dashing eyes.

“Madame, shall we dance?” he asked, his voice as sweet as sugar. His words broke my stare and let me see he was wearing a blue suit with white ruffles and golden frills on the shoulders. I had never seen anyone as beautiful, and to think he had just asked me to dance was unthinkable!

“Amelia! Answer him,” Ms. Siegfried said, still on the bench as I realized I was again lost in thought.

She continued to amaze me. She was so rude I was sure nobody at that party aside from Mr. Siegfried liked her. How could they? She must have seduces Mr. Siegfried into their marriage because I couldn’t see how anyone could love her.

“I would be honored,” I replied, my heart pushing the words out my throat. His smile grew larger as he held his arm out for me. Faster than I had ever done before, I wrapped my arm around his and let him lead me to the center of the ball room, away from his vile mother.

He led us in a swaying dance as I counted the beats in my head, making sure to step on each. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. I was too focused on not embarrassing myself with awful dancing to notice him admiring my concentrated face staring down on the floor watching my feet.

His large foot wore black dress shoes that reflected the light shown on them. My small high-heel wearing feet look tiny in comparison but my main focuses was to follow his feet movements without stepping on his feet. I would probably cry with embarrassment if I stepped on him.

“You are doing fine, there’s no need for thou to work so hard on dancing,” he said, his words swimming in my ear and dancing in my brain, easing my concentration. They seemed to echo in my mind, his words comforting.

“Oh, thank you,” I said, my cheeks turning a rosy red.

“Do you mind if we do away with the formalities?” he asked. My face instantly lit up, knowing that he wasn’t a snobby rich bachelor as I expected. I felt as if I was dancing with the kind of rich bachelor that was rarer than gold or diamond to farmers. He was snotty, he didn’t spend all his time showing off his money, and he didn’t enjoy the formality!

“Yes, please,” I said with a slightly playful tone, excited to hear what he would say next.

“So you come from a farm? I actually am impressed. Most of the girls I have courted could never survive on a farm. They would be too weak physically and their stomach would be too weak for such a thing.” I couldn’t believe it! He actually liked that I came from a farm! My heart swelled at his beautiful face awaiting my response.

“Yes, I have lived on a farm my entire life. Have you lived here your entire life?” I asked, curious about his upbringing.

“No, I was born in a hospital and lived with a nanny in the mansion and was sent off to boarding school. This ball is celebrating my graduation. Do you go to the local school for girls?” he asked. I was scared that he wouldn’t like me because I was uneducated, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t lie to his innocent eyes.

“I do not. I have taught myself to be literate and to understand math through textbooks I received for Christmas.”

“Really? That is fascinating. From what little I know about you, I have a feeling you are probably better off teaching yourself,” he said flirtatiously. I couldn’t help the obvious shock and excitement on my face that made him laugh slightly.

We continued to talk about our pasts for the remainder of the night, our dancing becoming a subconscious activity. Sense I first saw him I was smitten, and as we talked he continued to grow in my heart. He seemed almost unreal.

I knew that if I were to have an arranged marriage, I would want him to be my husband. Fate must have been working its wonderful ways in uniting us. He is truly perfect for me, and hopefully I am the same for him.

The ball came to a saddening halt as the clock struck seven, the grandfather’s clock’s bell striking with a piercing tone filling the room over the music.

“Amelia, I hate to part ways with you, but your father must be waiting. Have a lovely night, dear Amelia. I shall see you soon,” Kaden said, bidding me adieu. I didn’t know how to reply to his beautiful words, so I kept it simple, not wanting to embarrass

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