This is a long ass chapter (over 3000 words) but I was in my zone when I started writing so yeah, enjoy!

Bambi knocked on Nate's door and impatiently waited for him to open it. The last thing she felt like doing was talking to him when she could have been doing homework that she had due soon.

It was Saturday and they had been back from Thanksgiving break for about a week. With Finals coming soon and with the regular load of work that had to be done everyone seemed to be in their zone.

When she had received his text her first thought was to ignore it but Bria being the hopeless romantic she was, had basically begged Bambi to talk to him. If it wasn't for Bria, she would still be in her bed.

Nate finally opened the door and she was annoyed at how good he looked. It just right for a nigga to be that fine.

"What's up" she walked into the house before he could invite her in.

"Shit, come to my room" nodding Bambi followed him to his room all the while she mentally prepared herself to be strong and not end the night by having sex with him. She didn't want him to think she was weak bitch who would fall for whatever he was about to spit.

Nate took a seat on the loveseat that sat next to his window while Bambi sat on the edge of bed swinging her legs back and forth.

"You finally gone let me apologize?" Nate asked after a few moments of silence.

"What you said really hurt me" she pointed out wanting him to know.

"I know and I am sorry Bam."

"Why did you say that shit anyways? I know we're not a couple or whatever but you acted like I was some side hoe" Bambi could feel herself getting mad all over again.

"I just didn't want to send the wrong message to anybody."

"By anybody, you mean the hoe you were booed up with in the corner?"

"She's irrelevant" his words made Bambi roll her eyes.

"It's whatever Nate, I forgive you and I know my place now" she crossed her arms across her chest and waited for him to respond.

"What place is that?"

"Far away from you and your dick, I'm not going to let myself get played."

"I'm not tryna play you Bam, I want you."

"But what?" she interrupted knowing it was coming next.

"But I just can't be what you want me to be."

"Bullshit Nate" she said bluntly.

Nate closed his eyes and rubbed his large hands over his face trying to gather his thoughts. He knew he sounded like an asshole who had been spitting the same game forever but what he was saying was true.

Nate's last real relationship other than the fling he had with Jamie had been a crazy one. Nate loved his ex-girlfriend Gia with everything in him but he just couldn't be what she needed. He had fucked up so much and caused her so much pain that she had almost reached the point his mother had. Suicide.

After that his whole outlook on relationships was fucked up. In his mind he would never be able to love a woman the right way and didn't want to hurt a woman the same way he had hurt Gia.

Nate didn't think Bambi would ever understand his reasoning which was why he just wasn't going to tell her. It wasn't like he was lying when he said he wanted because he did and he knew that possibly they could be together. Just not at this point in his life.

"It's not bullshit Bam, I just gotta work some shit out before I can commit to you."

"If you just wanna have sex with other girls than say that Nate."

He laughed "Bambi I've been in college for four years now, and I have had more than enough pussy. I'm over that phase it not even about that."

Bambi felt so naïve for even thinking about continuing the relationship she had with Nate. She knew a lot of people would have just cut his ass and kept it pushing but it just wasn't the easy for her. She was honestly in love with the man and didn't want to lose him just yet.

"I don't know what to say Nate" she kept her eyes on her feet that were steadily swinging back and forth.

"Don't say nothin' lets just take baby steps and when the time is right we'll be together."

Bambi shook her and tried not to smile, for whatever reason she felt almost relieved that he was at least hopeful about them having a future again.

"I hear you Nate, just don't disrespect me again."

"I promise."

➤➤➤➤

Finals were approaching quickly and Bambi found herself overwhelmed with the amount of studying she had to do. Back home for whatever reason she rarely ever had finals so honestly it was all new to her. Bria was making flash cards and reading chapters like it was nothing while Bambi could barely remember the last thing she read.

"Bria" she whispered since they were in the library Bria looked up from her book and across the table.

"Yeah"

"I don't know how study."

"Figure out" Bria said as she went back to highlighting.

"Bria I'm serious I don't know how to make flash cards and shit like you."

"Bambi we've taken three of the same classes this semester. I'm doing all the fuckin work all you have to do is copy mines. Just focus on your other classes. Follow the study guide it's almost always right" Bambi nodded as she opened her book back up.

"And don't act like I ain't help a little bit" she threw in a few minutes later and Bria could only her head.

"Keywords: a little bit. But it's okay cause next semester I'm not doing shit."

Bambi laughed as she picked up her highlighter and went back to reading. Bambi's phone vibrated against the table once again distracting her.

She looked at it to see Nate calling, putting her highlighter down she answered the phone.

"Hello" she said and waited for his response but the only thing that could be heard were muffled sounds.

"Damn Nate" she heard a female voice moan out.

"Listen to this shit" Bambi passed the phone to Bria and allowed her to hear.

"Damn" Bria said hanging up the phone. She stared at Bambi watching her grow more pissed as the seconds passed.

"Bambi calm down" Bambi couldn't even listen to Bria. She couldn't even believe her luck.

"Fuck that I'm going over there. Bambi's voice had raised making the people around them throw dirty looks. Already knowing her best friend was ready to make a house visit Bria stood and began to gather her things right along with Bambi.

In minutes the girls were in the car making their way to Nate's townhome. Bambi parked crookedly on the front lawn and hopped ready to curse him out. She stalked up to the front door barely putting the car in park, Bria had to run just to catch up with her.

Bambi knocked the door taking all her anger out on it. She knew that most people wouldn't have reacted the way she would but Nate honestly had her thinking that they were going somewhere. She had so much fuckin faith in their relationship and to hear some shit like that sent her over the edge. She needed answers.

Nate's actions had always confused her but this was a whole new level. Bambi was well aware that they weren't in a relationship but she didn't know if she was crazy or not for thinking they were at least working towards something after their last conversation.

It took a few moments but the door finally opened. Bambi was prepared to see Nate not a bitch dressed in a bra and panties. Bambi looked at Bria shocked she couldn't even find her words. Staring right back at her with a huge smile was Kenisha, the same bitch she had fought at the club a few months back.

"Where is Nate?" Bria asked for her best friend.

"So nice to see you Bambi" she said and Bria had to step in front Bambi to keep her from snapping.

"Kenisha who the fuck is it?" Nate's voice made Bambi's stomach fill with butterflies.

"Just your friend Bambi" the girl smirked and Bambi was seconds away from losing it. She waited for Nate to appear in the doorway but he never did. Growing annoyed Bambi pushed both Bria and his bitch out of the way and stepped into the house. Nate sat on the couch smoking like everything was cool.

"What the fuck Nate?" Bambi asked feeling her emotions getting ready to boil over.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you serious? You really gone have the same bitch I fought half naked in your house like it's cool? I'm willing to bet that bitch called me on purpose."

"Called you? Fuck are you talking about?"

"I got a call from you and I heard you having sex with that stank bitch."

"You got one more time to say bitch" Kenisha said from her place near the door.

Nate looked towards Kenisha and shook his head knowing that she probably had called Bambi on purpose. "Look Bambi let's talk later I don't want to do this right now."

"No we're doing it now! Why couldn't you just be real with me Nate instead of having me thinking we had some real shit about to happen" he stood and put out his joint.

"Bambi I don't owe you shit ok. She had no right to call you but I can fuck who I want. We're not together."

"So all that shit you were spitting was a lie Nate? Please just be real me, I deserve that much."

"Bambi why the fuck do you want to be with me?!" he was getting pissed at the situation because whenever he looked at Bambi all he could see was the same hurt look Gia had given him time and time again.

"Because I fell in love with your selfish stupid ass, hoping that you felt the same" she punched him in the chest as tears fell from her eyes.

Nate shook his head knowing he was no good for a Bambi. A girl who was going to do a nigga some good one day. Nate knew no matter how hard he tried he always found a way to fuck up. Right now was a prime example. He had no idea why Kenisha's crazy ass would call Bambi in the midst of them having sex but honestly she had made breaking things off with Bambi easier. They could never be together and Nate he wasn't going to try and change it. Despite the love he had for her.

"Bria come get your girl" Nate looked at Bambi one last time before he picked up his joint and lit once again.

"You're a fuckin coward, a full of shit no good ass coward. I hope that top heavy bitch was worth it."

"Bambi come on, you let him see you cry enough" Bria grabbed her friends arm and Bambi didn't protest when she pulled her out of the house. As they walked to the car Bambi felt like she was in some badly written love story.

Bambi didn't say anything as Bria took the keys and they drove to their apartment. She didn't even cry. Bria looked over at Bambi waiting for her to go off but it never happened.

Once they arrived home Bria was prepared for the waterworks but Bambi was acting as if the situation had never happened. Grabbing her book bag out of the car Bambi walked into the house and took out her books and flashcards and she began to study. She had exams to ace.

➤➤➤➤

Monday came and Bambi was ready for any exams her professor would throw her way. Getting out of her car Bambi took a deep breather before she grabbed her purse and headed for her first class. Usually she would be with Bria but she had come early to finish up some studying.

Bambi didn't make eye contact with anyone as she walked to class only passing out waves and smiles to the people who greeted her. Long ago Bambi had mastered the art of acting like everything was okay when in reality she was everything but.

Bambi's heart was broken, she was sad but she knew if she dwelled on it, it wouldn't make anything better. Suffering from anxiety and panic attacks already made her life hard but being depressed would be too much to bare. So she planned on keeping up the charade because even if she wasn't okay at least everyone would think that she was.

Bambi felt good about the first two tests she'd taken and was ready to get the last four over with. Wednesday creeped up on her and she had totally forgotten that this was the class she shared with Nate until she walked in and looked for a seat only to see him sitting right in the middle of the class with black Beats covering his ears.

One side she was just pissed that she hadn't put any real effort into how she looked. She wore a simple grey Nike hoodie over a pair of tights, with Roshe Run's on her feet and a Jet's snapback.

But the other side of her she wanted to cry and attack his ass all at the same time. Taking her eyes away from him Bambi took the first seat she saw which happened to be only a few desks from the door. She sat down putting her phone on silent before she took out her pencil preparing for yet another test.

Class ended in exactly five minutes and the whole class was still taking the test. Not one person had finished early. Bambi wrote a response for her last question before she quickly proof read through everything, finally satisfied with her answers. She packed up her pencil and grabbed the clutch she had been carrying before heading to the front to turn in her test.

Just as she had reached the teachers desk she could feel Nate behind her waiting to turn his in as well. Feeling her breathing begin to labor already Bambi took a deep breath and passed the professor her test and saying bye at the same time. She nearly ran out of the class room as breathing began to get harder and harder to do and she was now aware that a full on panic attack had settled in.

Wishing she had Bria next to her Bambi tried to pull out her phone but her she was dizzy and her hands were shaking too much. She tried to stand where no one could see her as she placed her back against the wall and slid to the floor with tears streaming down her face and her hand clutching her chest. She was trying her hardest to catch a deep breath but it was proving to be impossible. With horribly shaky hands she tried to stand up only to fail.

"Bambi" hearing his voice seemed to only make it worse. Nate came around the corner just seconds later surprised at the condition Bambi was in.

"Fuck" he said as he tried to wrap his arm around her only for Bambi to push him away.

"Bambi let me help you" he said sternly. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled Bambi to her feet, her face was getting pale and he could hear how shallow her breaths sounded.

"Call Bria please" she croaked out as she passed him her phone. Keeping his arm around her to make sure she didn't fall Nate accessed her phone and called Bria's number.

"Bria" he said.

"Why do you have her phone? What happened Nate?" you could already hear the panic in Bria's voice.

"She's having a panic attack, we're in truth hall."

"Oh fuck I'm coming now" Bria hung up and what seemed like seconds later she came bursting through the doors closest to them.

Catching sight of her best friend Bria walked over and grabbed both of her arms making Bambi looked her in the eyes. "Bambi you have to breathe okay" Bria was demonstrating deep breaths and Bambi copied her.

"It's okay just breathe" Bria coaxed her friend. She had experienced a few of Bambi's panic attacks and knew all she needed was someone to help calm her. Soon Bambi was finally able to take a proper deep breath despite how tight her chest still felt.

"I'm so sorry Bria I've been doing so good; I didn't expect to have another one."

"Don't apologize it's okay, let's just go home so you can rest" Bambi nodded and it was than she realized Nate still had an arm around her.

After being so short of breath for so long she physically didn't have the energy to fight with him or even speak to him for that matter. Bambi chose not to even look at Nate as she moved from his embrace and held onto Bria as they walked away from him.

Nate watched them until they were out the door before he finally turned and headed for his next class that he was already ten minutes late for.