(Ready for the Halloween spirit? ๐)
"A UNICEF contribution of 13 centsย will feed a child for a month. Man, living in Africa must be great! Everything's so cheap..." Kelso says, walking in.
"If you ask me, man, UNICEF is a scam." Hyde points at the box Kelso is holding.
"Hyde, you think everything's a scam." I say and pat his back.
Everyone nods and laughs.
"Everything is a scam." Hyde insists.
"Oh, lighten up. Remember how much fun Halloween used to be?" Eric asks.
"Oh, yes... especially the parties." I laugh.
"Yeah, But we used to make costumes, trick-or-treat." Eric lists off.
"What is trick-or-treating?" Fez asks.
"Well, you put on a costume, you go door-to-door and say, "Trick-or-treat" and people give you candy." Jackie explains.
"Oh, you got to be kidding me! They just give you candy?" Fez asks, clearly astonished by this.
"Best part of Halloween is getting the crap scared out of you." Eric smiles.
"No, I hate it." I cross my arms.
"One year, I saw The Legend if Sleepy Hallow, I couldn't sleep for, like, a month." Eric laughs.
We all look at him strangely.
"They give you candy? Just like that? No strings?" Fez asks again, changing the subject.
"Yep, just like that." I nod my head.
"Hey, you guys, you know what? My church is doing a haunted house." Jackie smiles.
"I really don't think anyone's gonna be scared by a bunch of Episcopalians." Donna says.
"Unless they have chainsaws." Kelso says pointing at Donna.
"Well, do you guys have any, like, weird buildings that were abandoned or anything like that?" I ask, wanting to know.
"Old Main." Eric says.
"Our old grammar school?" Donna asks.
"Wait.. Old Main? That sounds familiar... Oh yah, our lame-ass grammar school. Man, someone destroyed my diorama and I was pissed." I say, recalling the old memory.
"I remember that!" Donna exclaimed.
"Anyways, wouldn't it be fun, to, ya know, go to a boarded up and burned school?" Eric says.
"We could tell ghost stories!" I exclaim.
"Yeah! It'd be so creepy!" Eric says.
"Free candy? Even if you're not from this country?" Fez asks, continuing to talk about getting free candy.
"Yes!" Kelso shouts at him.
"Hey, why'd they burn down the school anyways?" Donna asks.
"Oh, they said it was arson." Jackie nods as everyone except for me looks at Hyde.
"Wha-" Hyde begins.
"You think my Hyde burned down our elementary school?" I ask harshly.
"Yeah! I was out of town that week!" Hyde said.
"Hmm. How convenient." Jackie said.
"So you're telling me that if I showed up at someone's house and said, "Trick-or-treat" they'll give me a free piece of candy?" Fez asks, annoying the crap out of Kelso.
"Yes!" We all shout.
"Oh, I don't believe you." Fez laughs.
We all just shake our heads and laugh.
Later on, Fez is all dressed up in a Batman costume and we're going door-to-door.
"Trick-or-treat." Fez smiles.
The lady at the door puts an apple in his pillowcase full of candy.
"An apple? Where's my candy you son of a bitch?" Fez asks as the lady at the door slams the door.
We all snicker behind him.
~~~~~
We were all watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. A woman screams as a chainsaw goes off and I hug Hyde tighter. I hate horror movies.
The woman dies and I bury my head into Hyde's chest.
"Man, she deserved it. She had sex," Hyde said as he put his arm around me, "And like all movie sluts before her, she must die."
"No! She was about to take her shirt off!" Fez complains as another woman gets killed.
"I don't like this." I complain.
"Shh, you'll be okay." Hyde smiles.
~~~~
We walk into the old elementary school and walk into one of the classrooms. We were all trying to scare each other and Kelso wasn't having it. Then, one of the windows slam shut.
"Out of my way!" Kelso yells and pushes everyone, including Jackie, out of the way so he can run out. I almost fell backwards but Eric kept me steady.
"Kelso, it was the window!" Hyde yells.
Kelso walked back in, "Yeah, I knew that."
I rolled my eyes.
"Out of my way?" Jackie says harshly.
"No, I didn't say that!" Kelso defends himself.
"Yes, you did, just before you knocked her over!" Fez exclaims.
"No! I-I was protecting you!" Kelso says walking towards Jackie.
"Protecting me?" Jackie yells.
"Yeah. I was trying to draw the ghosts away from you. Ghosts are attracted to movement. That's a scientific fact." Kelso says sweetly.
"You know what? I don't care! You are an idiot, and science is stupid!" Jackie says and starts out as Donna and I follow.
"Gee, wonder what we're gonna talk about." Donna chuckles as we walk out.
We walk into a separate room and Jackie instantly started complaining, "God, I can't believe Michael pushed me out of the way like that."
"Me neither. I thought he would've used you as a human shield." Donna says as I chuckle quietly.
"Donna, the most noble thing a man can do is lay down his life for a woman he loves." Jackie says.
"Jackie, Kelso is not a man. He's more like a- a.... child. Yeah." I say.
"Shut up!" Jackie sighs.
"Okay. See you guys in the other room then." I wave as I hop off of one of the tables and almost walk out but Donna drags me back in.
"Well, you know who protected me in there?" Jackie asks, "Fez."
"Fez?" I ask.
"Well, he had to. He's Batman." Donna jokes.
We talked a bit more and searched around until we found our records. We decided to go back in and the guys were sitting in a circle telling ghost stories.
"Hey guys, we found something scary." Donna says throwing down the papers.
"Yeah, it was in the principals office." Jackie says, throwing down her stack.
"Oh my god. Those look like our-" Eric starts.
"They are our permanent records." I say spookily.
Hyde walks behind me and sets his arm on my shoulder and I blush lightly. I still really like Hyde but I don't think he likes me back.
~~~~
We were looking through them and Hyde found someone, "Hey! Pinciotti, Donna!"
He picks up the folder and chuckles, "Well... looks like someone we know had a real hard time keeping their clothes on in kindergarten."
"What?" Donna takes the folder out of Hyde's hands, "it was just a stupid phase."
"I'm sure glad that's over." Eric says. I punch his arm and I look through the stack, "Oh, goody! Hyde."
Kelso takes it out of my hands, "Hey! Take a look at this! "I fear that despite Steven's high IQ, he's a born troublemaker and is destined to be the smartest man... in his cell block."."
Hyde's smile fades, "What? They couldn't have known that in second grade! "Steven willfully and maliciously destroyed Penny Martins shoe box diorama of the four food groups"."
"You destroyed my diorama?! I outta kill you!" I yelled aloud and pointed at Hyde.
"Yeah, real funny but I didn't do it." Hyde said.
"You know what's really funny, Hyde?" Eric asked.
"What, Forman?" Hyde asked sarcastically.
"Heh, heh. I broke the diorama." Eric said proudly.
"You broke my diorama?! Come here, scrawny neighbor boy!" I yell and I chase after him but Hyde holds me back.
"You?" Hyde asks as thunder and lighting go off and I jump.
"Yours was better than mine. I had to smash it. I left out dairy..." Eric says.
"You didn't have to!" I continued to yell.
"You know, that's when everybody turned against me. They pegged me as a bad kid," Hyde said as he let go of me and walked towards Eric, "And once that happens, you're labeled forever. You ruined my life, Forman!"
"No he didn't!" Jackie argues, "Hyde, no offense but with an alcoholic mom and an absent dad, you were bound to end up in jail sooner or later."
"Hey! That's not his fault!" I say as I rub Hyde's back gently.
"Hey! I said no offense!" Jackie says.
"Yeah, right. Let's see what that file says about you, Jackie." I say and pick up her file.
"Go ahead, I have a perfect record." Jackie says and walks over by me.
I pick it up as I scan the front and Hyde looks over and I notice her middle name. I show Hyde and he snorts. I chuckle too, "Would anybody like to know Jackie's middle name?"
Jackie screams really high pitched as I cover my ears.
"Jackie's middle name is-" I say slowly.
"Nooo!" Jackie yells.
Jackie goes to hit me but I duck and Hyde pulls her away.
"I hate you! Agh!" Jackie yells as Hyde sets her back down by Kelso.
"It's Beulah!" I exclaim.
We all gasp as Hyde bursts out laughing.
~~~~
We were all arguing here and there and Kelso had a great plan. Well, not really, "Let's just read another file."
"Yeah, because that's working out great so far." Donna sighs.
"Ooh! Martins, Penny." Kelso picks up my folder.
"I was a good kid." I smile as Hyde slings his arm around me.
""Penny was a good student in class. Although, one time in class she got a detention for kicking Steven Hyde in a bad place."." Kelso reads off.
"That was you? Damn, that hurt so bad." Hyde frowns.
"I was 7!" I say.
"7 or not, that still hurt." Hyde said.
""She was also caught in the dome with Eric Forman." Kelso reads off and laughs.
"What?!" Eric and I yell at the same time.
"You and Forman? Hah, no way!" Hyde laughs.
"Did Not see that one coming." Fez laughs.
"You were with Eric?" Donna chuckles.
"We were 7!" Eric and I yell at the same time again.
"Ooh, dang getting the guys young." Kelso laughs.
"Shut up before I kick you." I glare at Kelso.
"Plus, like we said, we were 7! 7!" Eric yells.
"Ahh, But You were my first hug," I point at Eric and laugh, "I felt like a bad girl for hugging a boy."
"Cmon, let's just read Kelso's." Eric says as he picks up the last record.
"Gimme that!" Kelso grabs it and reads off, "Okay, here's a secret you guys don't know about me because it happened the year before I moved here. Okay, when I was in first grade, I used to wear this red cape to school and pretend I was Superman."
"You must have looked really stupid." Fez said as he fixed one of his Batman gloves.
I just chuckled at him.
"Wait, wait. First grade?" Eric asked and walked over.
"Yeah." Kelso nods.
"No, no, no. When you moved here, you and I were in the first place. That's how we met." Eric said.
I stand up, "Yeah, I remember that, man."
"No we didn't." Kelso says quickly.
Eric takes the record, "Man, you had to repeat first grade?"
"Oh my god. Michael, say it's not true." Jackie says as she rushes over by us.
"It was- it was cursive writing, alright?!" Kelso yells, "All those stupid squiggles and bumps. I wouldn't do it!"
"You mean you couldn't do it?" Hyde chuckles as he puts his arm around my waist and I looked up at him then back down to the ground.
"No! I wouldn't do it! And that's why they held me back!" Kelso yells at Hyde, "Plus, I might've killed the class bunny... WHYY?!"
"It's okay Kelso, let it out." Fez pats Kelso on the back as Kelso sniffles.
"I mean, it sucked. You know? Living this lie, pretending to be a year younger than I really am." Kelso said.
"Wait a minute... you're 18?" Hyde asks as he lets go of me.
"Yeah. I mean, that's why I've always seemed more mature than you guys." Kelso said and shrugged.
"Are you telling me that all this time you could have been buying us beer?" Hyde yells.
"Woah... I forgot about that." I whisper to Eric and he nods.
"You bastard." Fez says quickly.
"What- no! It's not what you think." Kelso said and backed up a step.
"You're dead to me." Hyde says harshly and walks back by me.
"But Eric ruined your life!" Kelso yelled.
"And if I had a beer, I could be getting over it right now." Hyde said as he put his arm back around me.
The guys follow Kelso out of the room and say, "beer" continuously as Donna and I chuckle.
"Alright! Alright! Everybody just leave him alone! Okay. Because he may be a liar, but at least he's not a backstabber like Eric!"
"Stay our of this, Beulah!" Donna yells.
"Oh, don't call me that." Jackie says.
"Beulah." Donna and I yell.
"Fine... you know what? When Eric and Penny had to go look for Fez, Donna kissed Hyde!" Jackie said.
"What?!" Eric and I yelled.
"What? No, Hyde kissed me..." Donna says shyly.
"Well, that is just so much better!" Eric says sarcastically.
"Hyde? What the hell?!" I yell and slap him across the face.
"Wha- cmon, man!" Hyde yells and he puts his hand to his cheek that I slapped.
"How could you do this, man?!" Eric asked Hyde.
"I guess I'm just a born troublemaker." Hyde said.
"Shut up! Stop giving me stupid answers!" I yell at Hyde.
"Sorry! Sorry!" Hyde said and covered himself in case if I hit him.
"I'm not gonna hit you," I roll my eyes, "Again..."
"You are so dead, Beulah!" Donna yells.
"Hey! Hey! Leave her alone, alright?" Kelso says and stands in front of Jackie.
"Yeah. Okay. Well, Jackie told me Fez was a better kisser than you, Kelso." Donna smirks.
Kelso gasps.
Eric walks up to Donna, "We're you ever gonna tell me about Hyde?"
"It hurts when your friends stab you in the back, don't it?" Hyde says.
"Shut up!" I yell and hit Hyde lightly on the chest.
"How would I know?! I have no friends!" Eric yells.
"You have Penny." Fez laughs as I punch him hard in the arm.
He whimpers as I hit him again.
"Hey, leave him be!" Hyde says and pulls me back.
We all start arguing with each other and Fez breaks us apart, "Stop it!"
We all stop.
"Can't you see what is happening? Those permanent records are tearing us apart." Fez says.
"Batman's right." Eric nods.
"Look What we've become." Hyde says.
"We're like animals." Donna sighs.
"Pissed off animals." I say.
"Those files are evil, man." Kelso frowns.
"We've gotta destroy them." Jackie says.
"But how, Jackie? HOW?" Eric asks.
"Oh great. Now my sugar babies are really gone." Fez sighs.
Hyde slowly hands them back to Fez.
~~~~
We were all standing in the cold October night as we dig the grave to our permanent records.
"Why didn't we just burn them? It would've been warmer then. Like, our own little bonfire." I smile
"These have already been in a fire. They can't be destroyed that way." Kelso says stupidly.
I just roll my eyes as I shiver and Hyde puts his arm around me and attempts to warm me up.
"See you in hell, permanent records." Hyde says as he throws them into the hole.
"Now we have to swear we'll never speak of this ever again." Eric nods.
"Except the part about Kelso buying us beer." Donna says.
"Yeah, naturally. But otherwise it's like this night never happened, okay." Eric agrees.
"Beulah." Hyde chuckles and we all erupt into chuckles besides Jackie.
Jackie hits Hyde multiple times as we all laugh.
~~~
Hyde was in my room again that night and we hadn't said anything to each other yet. I still couldn't believe he kissed Donna, but I mean, we're not a thing so why did it matter?
I took in a deep breath and let it go.
"Penny, uh, can I ask you something?" Hyde asked as he looked over at me but I didn't look at him.
"Sure." I said lightly and shut my eyes.
"Why did you, you know, overreact when Jackie said that I kissed Donna?" Hyde asked quietly as my eyes opened back up and I looked at him. I instantly darted my eyes back up to the ceiling, blushing.
"Um, I- I. I don't know." I said in a whisper, but Hyde could still hear.
Hyde sighed out loudly, "Okay."
"Okay."
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