Those three words rattle in my ears. It's me that she's looking at, me she's directing her accusatory question, which is what makes this all the more harder. She expects this of Tyler, that much is clear, but not me.

"What is this, Roxy?" Her words are half masked by a low rumble in the sky, but I still catch the hurt in her voice.

I try to say something but my mouth feels like cotton. "Alex," I manage after several long seconds. "I can explain."

"Explain?" she repeats. She gestures wildly at the two of us together, her face the picture of disgust. "I think it's pretty self-explanatory."

My eyes flit to Tyler, expecting him to look just as guilty as I feel, but instead, he looks annoyed. He protectively steps in front of me, right into Alex's line of fire. "Who Roxy hangs out with is none of your business."

"It is when it involves you," she snaps. She crosses the last few feet of track left between them and cranes her neck to look at him. "You just couldn't help yourself, could you? She was the one friend I had left in this town, the only one you hadn't hooked up with. Do you know how hard it is losing friends because of something your brother did to them?"

I try to inhale, but seeing her like this when she's usually so fierce leaves a lump in the back of my throat. I can't blame her for it, either – I'm sure if I had a brother that acted like Tyler, I would probably hate him, too.

The hardness in Tyler's eyes seems to dissipate a little. He takes another step, his hand outstretched the way one might approach a skittish horse. "Lex, I'm sorry."

"Yeah," she says, pointing to me, "you look sorry. You're just like Dad, you know that?"

Another low rumble rattles the sky, this time followed by a blast of cold wind. Any second now and the sky will open up, releasing a torrent of rain.

"I'm not," Tyler growls. His voice comes out sharp above the battering wind, but she's already gone. 

The rain is coming in buckets now, lashing at my face. I want to chase after her, to scream that it's not what she thinks, but it is. It's exactly what she thinks.

Guilt gnaws my insides as Tyler reaches for my hand, but I take a step back. "I should get to work," I say. There's a sharpness to my voice that I didn't intend, and his face falls a little.

"Roxy," he says, but I don't turn around. I'm picking up my helmet when his hand catches mine, drawing me into his chest. "You have nothing to feel sorry for. She'll get over it."

"And what if she doesn't?" I ask.

His eyes grow black as they take my face, his expression unreadable. "This is on me, not you. I'll fix it."

My eyes find his, and it's hard not to reach out and touch him. He's soaked to the bone, his dark hair clinging to his forehead in tendrils, but he doesn't let go of my hand.

I turn away and attempt to shift my focus to the cafe in the distance. She'll be back there by now, preparing to get through a shift while hurting inside, which is no easy feat, and it's all because of us.  When I face him again, he's running a palm down his face to get rid of the last remaining raindrops. 

Indecision wars inside of me. Danger signs are flashing, screaming at me to heed Alex's warning before I get myself hurt, but my heart is reluctant to listen. The truth is, despite the fact my friendship with Alex is now on the rocks, I can't bring myself to walk away.

"I should go," I say finally. "I'm late for my shift."

"Roxy–"

"I can't," I say, my voice shaking. "I can't do this, Tyler."

His jaw remains clenched as his grip around me tightens. I want to stay here forever, to succumb to the feel of his hands around my waist, but instead I step back. Then, with one last look at the hurt on his face, I climb on my bike and race down the track to deal with the fallout.

***

Alex is quiet for most of our shift, refusing to even acknowledge me. It's better in some ways – it means I have a little more time to prepare – but sooner or later, we're going to have to talk; I just hope she doesn't hate me forever.

My thoughts are chaotic for most of the day. I play out different scenarios as I work, wondering what she'll say. Is she going to fire me? Ask me to stop seeing Tyler? And more importantly, am I willing to listen?

My question is answered when my break rolls around and I'm checking my phone in the locker room. She slips in after me, leaning against the row of lockers opposite without saying a word.

"Hey," I say softly, putting down my phone. "We should probably talk."

"Yeah," she says curtly, folding her arms, "we should."

But for a moment, neither of us does. I run a hand through my hair as the silence drags on before saying, "I'm sorry, Alex. I didn't think that this would ever happen, and I should have told you the moment it did."

Her eyes soften slightly, but her mouth is still a thin, pursed line. "I'm not mad at you," she says, looking away. "I mean, I'm mad at him, but I'm not mad at you."

I falter. "You're not?"

She shakes her head. "I just know how this goes, I guess."

I walk toward her now and pull her into my arms. "I'm not going to bail on you, Alex. You're my friend." She sighs like she doesn't believe me, but it's true. I just wish she could see that. "But–" I take a deep breath, unable to believe I'm about to admit this, "–I like him, Alex. A lot."

Her shoulders deflate like she saw this coming. "I figured by the way you had your tongue down his throat. Look, if you want to hook up with my brother, I'm not going to interfere. I'm not going to hate you, either, if that's what you think. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I won't," I say, but I don't sound so sure.

She pulls away briefly to study my face. "I should probably get back to work."

I wait for her to leave before sitting on the bench, where I stare at my hands deep in thought. The reckless side of me argues give Tyler a chance. He makes me feel safe, and the reason I am where I am with my racing is because of his help. But logic screams back that he's become a distraction, something I'd sworn wouldn't happen. It doesn't matter how hard I try to focus on the track, he's always in the back of my mind – it's what's going to be my downfall.

By the time lunch arrives, I have a list of pros and cons about Tyler as long as my arm. I'm relieved when Vanessa and Niko head up and take a seat near the railing, because at least it's a chance to switch off. I don't want to think about Alex or Tyler or what happens next, I just need a moment to breathe.

"Hey," I say. "Don't you have anything better to do on your Saturday?"

"Better than watching you slave away?" Niko says. "Nah."

I roll my eyes and slump onto the bench before resting my head on Vanessa's shoulder. She strokes my hair, and it's so oddly comforting that I almost fall asleep.

"Question," I say to Niko. "If I started hooking up with your brother, would that make me a bad friend?"

His eyes nearly bulge from his head. "You're hooking up with Sam?"

"It's hypothetical."

"But you hypothetically want to hook up with Sam?" Vanessa asks.

"No," I say, throwing my hands up. "I'm just wondering how bad it would be. Like, are friends' siblings off limits? Is there some kind of code?"

"Yes, there's a code," Vanessa says. "It's like exes. They're off limits."

So, it's settled. Even if Alex has forgiven me, I am a terrible person.

"Yeah," Niko says as he leans across the table, "and if you hooked up with my brother, I'd be taking you to the doctor to get your head checked."

"I'd say she had good taste." We swivel our heads just as Sam plonks himself on the bench. "Hate to interrupt this fascinating conversation," he says, "but you should know the boys are planning a race this week for those who qualified for the tournament. It'll be good practice for you."

I frown and say, "Tyler didn't mention anything about it."

Sam smirks and gets to his feet. "Word of advice, sweetheart. I'd take everything Tyler says or does with a grain of salt if I were you. He's betting against you, remember?"

A cold chill makes its way through my body. I don't say anything as he gets to his feet, and with a mini salute to Niko, he walks off.

"I don't think I've ever said this," Niko says, "but my brother is right. Doesn't Tyler need you to lose in order to win the bet? What makes you think you can trust him?"

"Because he's spent the last few months helping me," I say. "Why would he try to sabotage me now?"

Vanessa's eyes darken. "Unless he's been sabotaging you all along and you just didn't realize."

I shake my head, because what they're saying is ridiculous. I'd know if Tyler was trying to sabotage me. We've spent practically every day together, and he's put thousands of hours into helping me improve – how can what they're saying be true?

The answer is it's not, but as I get to work clearing tables and looking busy, my stomach is twisted with knots.

What if it is?

A/N
What time is it where you're reading? ⏱❤️