After we entered my room, I closed the door behind us and locked it. I released Zac's hand and started removing my jewelry one by one, setting each piece on my nightstand. Then, I reached around to unzip the back of my gown and stripped down to my underwear. Zac gaped at me as I proceeded to walk around the room in only my bra and panties.

"What are you d-doing, Cate?" he stammered.

"I'm gonna jump in the shower," I replied.

He blinked in surprise. "Right now?"

"I'll be done in five minutes. Just hang out here for a bit. You can sit on my bed. Play on your phone or something."

"Okay... whatever you say."

A look of concern lingered on Zac's face, but he took a seat on the edge of my mattress and pulled out his phone.

I turned away from him and headed into the bathroom that was connected to my bedroom. I quickly turned on the showerhead, tossed aside my bra and panties, and stepped into the stall without waiting for the water to warm up. The icy blast of water bit into my skin almost painfully, but I didn't mind. This was what I wanted. To feel something other than the raging turmoil inside of me.

My nerves stung. My heart lurched. Only then did I allow myself to disintegrate. Hot, angry tears spilled down my face. My body shook with anguish. I couldn't wash away the devastating images of Mamma from my mind, but, at least, I could scrub away the remnants from the night with soap and water. The makeup, the hairspray, the perfume. I didn't want any of it on my body for a second longer.

Suddenly, the glass door to my shower stall slid open. I gasped as Zac appeared before me. Gone was his tux. He was as naked as the day he was born. Without waiting for an invitation, he slipped in right next to me. He winced when the frigid water hit his bare skin, but his gaze stayed with me as his hands rose to cradle my face. He leaned down to press his forehead against mine. Wetness trailed down his face. Droplets fell from his long eyelashes as his dark brown hair clung to his skin.

Time ceased to exist as we stood there, skin to skin, under the steady spray from the showerhead. The water slowly warmed, steam rose around us, and Zac's hands descended down my shoulders to encircle my waist. He pulled me closer and burrowed his face into the crook of my neck. My arms wrapped around him instinctively. I wept for Mamma, and Zac grieved right alongside me.

We didn't break away for quite some time. I basked in the feeling of his heartbeat against my chest. Eventually, though, our hands began to move and glide over each other's wet, naked bodies. His hands cupped my soapy breasts as I lathered up his tatted, muscled torso. Zac's touch on my skin felt light and pleasurable, but, for once, we weren't in any hurry to find release. He simply continued to bathe me. I focused on washing him. He groaned when my fingers closed around his hardness, I sighed when his fingers dipped between my thighs, but, again, neither of us lingered. More than anything, I think we were trying to comfort each other.

We finished up in the shower a few minutes later. Zac and I dried off and padded over to my bed. I threw on a sleepshirt and a pair of plain gray cotton panties before climbing onto the mattress. Zac slipped on his boxers and joined me soon after. We curled up together under my covers with him as the big spoon.

"How are you feeling, baby?" he asked softly as he slid his hand under my shirt. He didn't reach for my breasts. His fingers stayed on my belly, tracing soothing circles and lines across my skin.

"Better," I whispered.

He kissed my shoulder, and I snuggled closer into his embrace.

"Really?" he asked again.

In a tired voice, I sighed and admitted, "I dunno, actually. I'm still so fucking angry, I can't even find the words to describe how I feel. What Lily did tonight was unforgivable. I want to make her suffer. I want to see her pay the price for violating Mamma's memory in such a horrible way."

Zac's arms tightened around me as he lifted his head. He stared down at me with worry in his eyes. "Why don't we focus on getting through tonight in one piece? Tomorrow, I promise, we'll figure out a way to get back at her."

"But I don't wanna wait. I wanna figure this shit out now."

"You've been through enough for one night, baby. You need to rest. Decompress," he chided gently. "We'll need to bring our A-game to take down Lily."

I flipped over on the mattress to face him with an accusing glare. "How can you be so chill? That bitch is pure evil. She deserves to get her soul crushed. The longer we wait, the more she gets to bask in glory! And the mere thought of her being happy makes me want to fucking vomit again."

"Honestly, Cate, that bitch is the last person I wanna talk about right now. The only girl I care about is you. I need to see that you're okay before we move on to anything else."

My heart thudded painfully. The fierce way that Zac kept looking at me started churning up all of my old, unfettered emotions.

I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned, "To be honest... I dunno if I'll ever be okay with what happened to Mamma. Her death really fucked me up. Moving in with my dad and siblings fucked me up even more."

When I reopened my eyes, Zac was giving me a tight, sad smile. "I don't think you're supposed to be okay with it, actually. I'd be worried if that shit didn't affect you at all."

"You don't think I'm fucking crazy?"

"Oh, I definitely think you're crazy, but I'm kinda crazy as well, so I guess we can be fucked up together."

Unexpectedly, I laughed.

How did my man always know the right thing to say?

Suddenly, I wanted to show him just how much I appreciated him. I also wanted to forget about Lily, the flash drive, the video...

I leaned over to kiss Zac. He kissed me back deeply. We started making out. His fingers moved up to tweak my nipples and fondle my breasts. A moment later, my hand wrapped around his stiffening cock.

In a breathless voice, I suggested, "You know, baby... I've been on the pill long enough now. I also have condoms. So, if you wanna..."

Zac moaned in approval, but he pushed my hand away from his crotch, "Baby... no. I can't."

I frowned. "What? What's wrong?"

"Believe me, babygirl, any other night, I'd be game for anything with you. But not tonight."

My mood sobered significantly. I propped myself up on my elbow and demanded, "Why not?"

He hesitated. "I want our first time together to be special. I don't want to do it when your mom's ghost is hanging over us. It feels wrong."

"But that's exactly why we should do it!" I protested unhappily, "I don't wanna think about her anymore! I need you to help me forget, I need you to replace the ugliness from tonight with something wonderful."

Zac shook his head. "I don't think you should forget, though. Or use me to distract yourself. If I learned anything from Trick or my time in Queens, it's that you can't outrun your demons. You gotta face them and fucking own them. Or else they might convince you to destroy yourself."

I released a shaky breath. I wanted to fight with him again, but, deep down, I knew Zac was right. I decided to surrender.

But not without taking one last swipe at him. "When did you become such a pain in the ass?"

He scooted closer to me and smirked. "I've always been a pain in the ass, babygirl. I'm surprised you're just realizing it now."

"You're definitely the biggest pain in the ass I know," I grumbled sullenly. "I just wish what you said didn't make so much sense. It pisses me off to know that—you might be right."

"Oh, I know I'm right."

"Don't be so smug, asshole! Or else I'm kicking you out of my house!"

"You can try," Zac taunted as he tightened his hold on me, "but, like I said earlier, I'm not fucking going anywhere."