The Payoff of a Risk

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 "You know what you have to do right?" Eiji asks quietly to TJ as he lights a cigarette and pockets his lighter in his pocket. TJ's eyes shift to his friend taking the cigarette from between his lips with his two fingers and exhaling the plume of smoke up and over their heads to the night sky.

"Get the bartender, 'Grace', and smash her face into a wall?" TJ responds plainly bringing the smoke to his lips again, holding it there as he pulls up his sleeves to his elbows.

Eiji laughs and shakes his head. TJ raises an eyebrow looking to his friend not understanding why he's laughing at his serious statement.

"No, no. I meant about your doll and your roommate. Their friendship? Doesn't it bother you?" Eiji provokes poking TJ's cheek a little forcefully to make him turn away from the prodding hand.

Giving his friend the time to right himself he watches TJ's eyebrows furrow slightly with a tilt of his head. He shrugs and stuffs his right hand into his pocket, choosing to take the smoke from between his lips with his left hand and flick off the ash. He closes one eye and blows out the smoke lethargically, remaining silent in anticipation of Eiji to speak up. Eiji looks unamused with TJ's display of ignoring the question in an attempt to side skirt the issue, his laziness getting the better of him of not wanting to do anything at all.

"Is dropping it an option?" TJ asks with a hint of uplifted hope in his voice, his lips spreading into a smile that was intended to win Eiji over in his favor.

"No. Then what are we going to do?" Eiji rolls his eyes looking to the side in his sigh of exasperation with his lazy counterpart. "You have to claim her, and assert yourself so she doesn't feel the need for him."

"That sounds like a lot of work..." TJ comments plainly in his argument. He taps the toe of his shoe down against the sidewalk, his eyes watching his foot not wanting to meet Eiji's gaze, knowing what he was going to see anyways.

Eiji looks to TJ, his eyes narrowed though understanding why he wouldn't want to make the extra effort. He could see his friend already beating himself up inside about having let this happen and felt partially at fault for having had this be an effect from his cause to force him to introduce Cyren. It was unintentional, but they were already too deep in to turn back now or it would be a waste of their time. And he truly wanted to see the turn of this girl from the meek shell of a person to the dark vision that TJ held for her. He wanted the proof of all of their efforts rather than abandoning it. This was a change of pace, and to be honest he was enthralled in it. Not that he knew what would happen afterwards which tended to bother him, he wanted to know, the unknown would be something that would bother both of them if they didn't complete this. And he knew that TJ knew that as well. Their activities would only go so far before they became bored with that and would have to find something else to entertain themselves with, the hypothetical already bothering him at the thought of it. What would they do? Go back to their daily lives of just flowing along with the tide of the life that was given to them? That wasn't possible anymore, and it seemed depressing and grim. Would they even talk anymore? Would they still be connected if they just stopped? No, probably not, and Eiji wasn't going to let that happen either.

Shaking his head to rid himself of the unpleasant thought he drops his gaze to the ground and pulls his lips to the side in a thoughtful purse. Trying to think of something to help TJ considering he was pulling all of the weight, even if this was his project for the girl, he still wanted to help out. He didn't want to be excluded.

"You're leaving....?" He remembers from his nightmare. 

Eiji looks up to the street as a lone car passes by, the headlights illuminating them standing outside of the loud bar for just a moment. TJ elbows him in the ribs and nods his chin up at him in question before putting out his cigarette butt with the heel of his shoe. Eiji shakes his head as if to say it's nothing and shrugs.

"I mean if you really want to give up then I'll support you. But I think that you won't be able to deal with just quitting. It's not like you." Eiji states bluntly not looking to his friend, knowing that his words would cause TJ to sink a little bit further into his own head and not wanting to see his expression fall.

"I know.... I won't..." TJ sighs out in resignation, already knowing that he wouldn't be able to abandon this even if he really wanted to.

"I know what will cheer you up." Eiji perks up turning to TJ with a mischievous smile and begins to push him in a lead towards the bar entrance.

"I don't need cheering up..." TJ argues through a grumble.

"Sure you do. But we should get that bartender. I don't like the way she talked to you." Eiji offers patting his friend's back as they enter the building again. "Let's arrange it for two weeks from now? Date night?"

TJ chuckles at the term and looks back over his shoulder with a genuine smile to him and nods in agreement.

"Leave it to me."

--------------------------------------


TJ follows Cyren up the flight of stairs to the dark house with silent steps. He hadn't ever been inside of her home before and didn't even plan on it, but when she had asked him if he wanted to come in, of course he did, he was curious. Upon entering the home she immediately apologized for the mess, which he found to be a little more disorderly than he had anticipated. They entered into the main common room that held a lazy boy chair cornered by another slouchy looking couch that might have once been a light tan but was now darkened with age on each cushion from wear. In the center of that was a coffee table that held a slew of empty beer cans and bottles, a load of dirty dishes and a full ashtray that was about to topple over onto the floor. And of course the television across from the chair specifically sat dusty and covered in fingerprints. To the right to the dining area was where the dining table held the same items as the coffee table though a stack of bills sat piled in the center and two of the chairs didn't match the set, and leading off from that was the kitchen where the counters were covered in dirty dishes and left out food. Cyren was quick to usher him up the stairs and immediately to the left to the first doorway, closest door to the exit he noted to himself.

Opening the door she flips on the light switch that was connected to strings lights lining the ceiling and a soft lamp on a bedside table in the far right corner beside her bed that was centered under the window. She pushes him in further gently as he was frozen in the doorway looking to the various pictures hung along every inch of the wall, posters, drawings, small key chains and even a tapestry of a wolf. Feeling overwhelmed by the clutter downstairs already, her room was tidy though feeling small considering the heavily decorated walls. He recognized it immediately as a means for escape. He turns warily in the center of the room to her dresser that held a makeup bag, a mirror and various nail polishes and perfumes. Beside that was her closet that was shut though he could see a sleeve of a dark colored garment sticking out, concluding that it was most likely filled with clothes and other things. Turning he looks to her small day bed against the window with fluffy gold bedding that must have been new. She gestures for him to sit on the bed and immediately goes to her dresser to grab a change of clothes, adamant on getting out of her work clothes. TJ nods and sits on the edge of the bed, leaning his forearms onto his bent knees he begins to look around at the items hung up on the walls in curiosity. Cyren open hers dresser and pulls out a sweater and a pair of shorts, intended for sleeping in and turns looking to TJ and then to the door.

"Could.... Could you turn around or close your eyes for a minute? I don't want to chance walking down the hallway to the bathroom and waking my parents." She whispers and points to the door.

TJ quirks an eyebrow at her and looks over her figure as if judging her for requesting something that he could take as offensive for even being asked. He rubs his hands together and lowers his head to hang between his shoulders and closes his eyes. She watches him for a moment, remaining perfectly still to see if he would peek up at her or not. Deciding that he wasn't going to, she quickly pulls off her shirt and replaces it with the sweater. Using the long hemline to hide herself as she undoes her fly and shimmies out of her pants, she pulls on the short haphazardly, her anxiety spiking at the fear of him looking up at her.

"Those are cute." He says with his head still lowered, in a quiet, flat tone of voice.

"What?" She asks feeling her face go completely warm.

TJ raises his head and offers a small smirk those his eyes still lowered. He looks up to her, holding his smirk firmly. She lurches forward and raises her hand to slap his shoulder in her mortification as well as her moment of betrayal, her fears becoming reality. He chuckles and catches her wrist pulling her harshly to lose her footing and fall on the bed behind him.

"Don't worry. I was joking." He follows up and rolls his eyes at her overreaction.

"You're a fucking asshole you know?" She grumbles out haughtily and pushes herself to sit up glaring daggers at him.

"I know." He shrugs and turns back to face out towards her room, rubbing his palms together allowing his eyes to resume their investigation of the items on her walls.

She moves to the edge of the bed rubbing at her wrist at the ache from his pull on her and sits beside him. He glances to her thigh pressed against his leg and then back to the walls, disregarding the touch and gesturing to everything.

"Looks like you're out of room. Plus you never talk about any of these people? What's that about?" He asks and turns his face to look over her.

Cyren clasps her hands together and wedges them between her legs looking to the walls, her head cocking gently to the side as she begins to assess the photos of her with other girls from a younger time. He could tell that she hadn't looked at them in a while as she searched amongst the walls for what he spoke of, her eyes seemingly glazing over in thought. He takes a deep breath and leans back against the bed, crossing his arms over his chest in anticipation for what she was going to say. She only shakes her head and looks down to her lap.

"People grow apart right?" She asks more so to herself than to him and looks to him with an unsure, gentle smile, though her eyes spoke volumes on her sadness over her loneliness.

He knew that look because he had seen it a million times in his lifetime from strangers, family, once himself before he had grown older and that part of him had been left behind with his innocent childhood.

"Then take them down." He suggests though sounding more like a demand had he not shrugged.

"I should.." She trails off and looks away as she tucks her hair behind her ear, becoming self-conscious with him there, her entire life on display on her walls and him in there scrutinizing every little thing with his watching eyes.

TJ reaches out and pinches the fabric of her sweater sleeve and tugs on it enough to get her attention, her head turning to look over her shoulder back at him. He offers another smile and raises his eyebrows in a comical way causing her to giggle lightly at the silly behavior she had never witnessed before. When they first met he had attempted to make her smile often, usually with a small remark that was so dry and sarcastic she couldn't help but laugh at. And other ways would be to flick small paper balls at her from his desk. That had all stopped when they exchanged numbers, it was like with the deepening of the friendship, the more deep he became. He wasn't the light-hearted person everyone thought him to be, he wasn't as empty and shallow as anyone would expect on first glance. That's what drew her in, and now she was stuck.

"Why are you dressing like that more often now?" He asks suddenly, breaking her from her train of thought into stunned silence.

"I... I thought you said to be more confident..." She manages out becoming aware of what he meant as she remembers him glancing over the low neckline of her shirt from work, and how he had zipped up her jacket when they were at school. "You don't like..."

"No I don't care. I was just wondering. It seems like you're trying to gain a certain type of attention. Like your bitchy coworker." He interjects quickly, waving his hand dismissively and looking up the ceiling in thought.

She feels her mind going blank, it wasn't irregular for her to be thrown off by his shift in nature in a split second, but she hadn't expected it every single time either. It was like she would take one step forward and he would show up, raise his hand to stop her, would crouch down, remove a step and then walk away with the plank of wood tucked under his arm, acting as if nothing happened. She raises her hands up in a silent exclamation in frustration, now becoming ire with the way that he always seemed to tear her down with what would seem like an innocent enough question. Dropping her hands to her thighs with a small slap she looks back at him, her expression stern though not surprised to see his squinted eyes on her, his lips slightly parted in what would be seen as a sneer, he was challenging her again.

"Why do you always fucking do that? It's like you ask something but the way you ask or the way you respond sounds like you're judging me and don't like something. Though you don't flat out say it. And you never say what you do want me to do." She voices, her frustration giving her the confidence to continue on and become more passionate with her plea against him.

"Alright. I don't like it." He states firmly, his tone darkened and deep.

"Then tell me what the fuck to do? Because trying to figure out what the fuck you're thinking is exhausting and this has become so one-sided is just ridiculous. I feel crazy trying to fight for your friendship and it seems like you don't even give a shit. Should I even bother? Do you even want to be my friend?" She snaps off looking around her room though at nothing in particular as she rides on the waves of her anger.

TJ quirks an eyebrow and sits up, coming closer to her and starring directly in her eyes, the emerald orbs fiery with fight, the fight he had been looking for this entire time. Her cheeks reddened, her lips pursed, her shoulders squared, and her whole appearance shifting into what could be considered as intimidating, in a way that she must have learned from him. He huffs out a breath through his nose, pairing it with a smirk though not in amusement, a further condescension against her in hopes to trigger her more. His upper lip lifts into a subtle sneer as he looks over again.

"Assert yourself over her..." Eiji's words coming to mind as he lifts his eyes back to meet hers.

"I want you to stop being as pathetic as you've been probably your entire life. You surround yourself with these old pictures to remember that you were hurt. And you use it as a fucking crutch to be this sad, little girl that wants only to be loved. But when have you ever been cared for if someone would leave you so easily? Someone could hurt you physically, and you won't even tell me who." To make his point he grabs her arm again, lifting it slightly and then dropping it back to her lap. "Maybe because you're so weak that's why everyone leaves you, doesn't care for you, abuses you. And you do nothing about it, but continue to be that worthless piece of shit that you are. You said that you wanted my help. And yet, you're doing nothing to help yourself."

She shivers at his cryptic voice, hushed so she would have to force her focus to listen to him and hear exactly what he had to say. Though his words cruel and cold, she couldn't help but feel the truth to all of it and felt it shoot through her chest painfully. She continues to keep her eyes locked with his, though she fights the tears threatening to spill over from his spiel. He had never spoken this way with her, and she had provoked it, she had upset him enough to deserve this. And she deserved it, she believed that. Swallowing back the lump that formed in her throat she finally looks to the side and blinks, willing her tears to go away without showing.

"What? You finally want to show me that you're not weak? No, go ahead, cry." TJ taunts, watching her expectantly, waiting for her to crumble before him as she had done before, but he wasn't going to miss her crying this time.

She mumbles something under her breath and swipes the sleeve of her sweater under her eyes. He tilts his head so his ear is directed at her and narrows his eyes.

"I didn't catch that, speak up little girl." He sneers out distastefully at her cowardice after having talked so big.

"I said, fuck you." She states more firmly meeting his eyes with a glare re-established.

"Good. There she finally fucking is. Do you want an award for finally breaking through your shitty veneer of a meek rodent?" He taunts further, seeing how much more he could push her.

Her face screws up in disgust at his maltreatment to her and she looks away immediately, unable to suppress her tears any further. Cupping her hands over her face to hide from him, she bends over her knees to rest her forehead on her knees and stifles the small sob escaping her lungs. She flinches away from his hand on her back and chokes out for him to stop.

"No. You wanted my help..... and you didn't like the way that it sounds. That's not my problem Cy." He voices quieter, forcing her to listen by focusing again and stilling her breathing. "Come on...." He presses, sliding his hand over her back to coax her into his embrace.

He holds her against his chest and looks back before leaning them both against the windowsill. She buries her face into his chest, still covering herself with her hands and draws her legs up.

"How about you tell me about what happened with your old friends....." He suggest still rubbing his hand gently over her curved spine, his breath hitching in his throat in his excitement of her breaking down.

He looks down to the top of her head and reaches to her chin, gently tipping it up and moving her hands away to look into her reddened eyes, her green eyes vibrant with the contrast and glossy from the tears. Her water line a bright pink and dewy, her face tear stained with trails of black from her makeup. He was right, she was beautiful when she cried. She nods reading the softness of his eyes as sincerity, unknowingly that he was content with accomplishing his goal of seeing her like this.

"Y-yeah....I'll tell you everything..." She whispers out and lies her head against his chest, listening to his heart being rapidly in his chest. "I'm sorry... you're right... I am pathetic and I was being mean to you." She follows up before he can ask her why and chokes out another sob, thinking that she had upset him this much.

He smiles to himself and rolls in his bottom lip between his teeth to hide it should she looks up at him, biting down on the flesh painfully. He was finally getting somewhere. He was finally getting the results he wanted. He had finally cracked her porcelain mask.

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