Testing the Waters

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There was something about the first time someone visits the exact place that you survive your days in. How they can almost notice and not notice every single detail that could give anything away about you. Especially when and if they know nothing about you. By the things that could be hanging on the walls, the appearance of the living space whether it be clean or messy. There was always something that could give away a bit of your soul in essence. It's that first impression that will either give a disconnect from home and individual, or that comfort that makes you feel as if you're welcomed into an actual home that's prided on and cherished to have established.

When Cyren stepped in through the front door held open by TJ, she didn't know what to expect, in truth she probably expected a full home with younger siblings and happily married parents. But she had noticed that only TJ's car had pulled into the driveway, though it were a newer model and painted flat black, she had surmised it to be a graduation gift. But upon entry, it was evident that there weren't many people living in this home at all. What gave it away was the quietness, something that wasn't in her own home with her parents, her younger brother, and then herself. Her parents were fighting regularly these days over financial issues and her younger brother's rebellion. So she had almost forgotten what it was like to be in a place that was so still and calm. The second thing that tipped her off was how organized and clean the home appeared to be. When entering, it was directly into the living room, which hosted a plain solid grey L shaped couch against the parallel wall adjacent from the television that was mounted to the wall. Below that sat a black entertainment center that hosted more than a few gaming consoles. The walls had been adorned with a few scenic shots that were framed and placed perfectly to catch the natural lighting from the windows that were draped with red and black curtains. The color scheme of the entire room was cohesive in a sense to be admired as art itself. There was a shoe rack beside the front door that she quickly caught on to for her to kick off her tattered black Converse shoes and set on the rack before stepping out onto the spotless beige colored carpet. It almost seemed as if no one had ever lived in the home at all. Directly facing her was a hallway that lead down to several shut doors besides the one at the end that was obviously a bathroom with white tile. TJ shuts the door behind him and leans against it as she looks around curiously. She turns to look back at his half-lidded gaze upon her, his blackened eye worrying her when he had picked her up had grown on her now, and it almost seemed fitting that he would be a bit of a fighter. She couldn't imagine someone as kind as him getting into any quarrel but she had assumed it was in defense. TJ swings out his hand palm up in signal for her to do as she pleases. She turns back to the living room and steps in further, her curiosity now focused on the photos hung on the white walls. She walks through quietly, afraid to disturb the calm of the atmosphere and it's implied serenity as she examines a photo of an orange hued moon in high definition behind the couch.

"My roommate is an aspiring photographer, he's really good huh?" TJ speaks first to give her some insight for her obvious questioning eyes.

"Your roommate?" She quirks at the given hint, glad that she wasn't going to have to ask endless questions like an interview to get to know him better.

"Mm, Kaeden. He's not here now, but if you stick around long enough I'm sure that you'll get a chance to meet him. He's a great guy. Loud. But great." TJ chuckles passing behind her to the archway that lead into the dining room.

Cyren follows behind him unsurely to the dining room to find more photos on the walls around the counter height black table that could seat four. To left was the small kitchenette where she found TJ beginning to pull some things from the cupboards and fridge. He moves with ease in the small space collecting everything he needs to begin preparing their lunch.

"Can I get you something to drink? You're welcome to sit out back if you'd like..." He offers gesturing to the sliding glass doors that lead to a small patio and the backyard.

Cyren turns to look out the glass to the large backyard of green grass and a few trees growing tall towards the far side along the brick wall. She brings her hands to in front of her chest and twists her fingers together out of nervous habit then looks back to TJ, unsure of what to do in the slight comfortability of being somewhere she's never been, unsure of how she's supposed to act, or be in the informal setting. He chuckles at her cute display, knowing how self conscious she was being even if they had been friends for nearly six months already, she couldn't help it and he knew that. But all he wanted for her was to be comfortable.

"Would you rather stay with me? Watch what I'm doing?" He inquires pulling a knife from the block and inspecting the edge of the blade before setting it down on the cutting board.

"Is that ok?" She asks hopefully, her eyes searching to meet his for some confirmation.

TJ waves for her to come closer and gestures to the items on the cutting board. Cyren bounces off of her back bracing foot and nearly hops to his side, looking over the ingredients he had chosen.

"You said that you weren't keen on eating meat, so I figured that I would make you a power blend salad. And in that I mean there's uhhh... spinach, green leaf and red leaf lettuce, a bit of kale for the nutritional benefits. Some cherry tomatoes that I plan to roast for a moment to bring out the sweetness of their flavors, some sweet onion, gorgonzola cheese, pepperoncini for that tangy contrast and a creamy Italian dressing. If you'll let me, I'd like to add some hard-boiled eggs. Kaeden hates eggs, so I don't know if you're the same, but you could really benefit from the health properties...." He explains while pointing to each item with the knife in his hand.

Cyren nods and smiles up to him in agreement. His eyes shift to glance sideways at her, though his expression is that same steely one he always wore. He looks back down at the cutting board and turns away quickly with a backspin to the stove top. She jumps at his sudden movements and looks to the stove where he points the ingredients beside the prepared pots on the burners.

"And over here I'm making you a pasta with a creamy butter sauce with some wild mushrooms a bit of truffle oil and some parsley, nothing extravagant but enough to balance out the strong flavors you'll be getting from the salad." He explains with a slight dance of his wiggling fingers cast in her direction.

"Oh my god Teej, you don't have to do all of this. " She exclaims in a guilty toned gasp, not wanting him to do so much for her, or to even work as hard as she knew he was going to be on her behalf.

"You're right." He moves to cross his arms over his chest and looks out the window as if contemplating the meaning of life but then cracks a smirk, his eyes cast sideways at her again. "But I'm going to. So have a seat. What's that stereotypical saying you give to guests when they're in your established residence? Oh. 'Make yourself at home'." He teases and gestures for her to take a seat at the table if she wished to before setting to starting the pasta in the now boiling water.

Cyren clasps her hand over her mouth to try and conceal her laughter at his typical peculiar sense of humor that she had grown fond of and turns towards the dining table choosing to sit in the chair closest to the kitchen area so she could watch him. TJ seems to completely go into his own zone as if she weren't there and works fluidly, not saying a word. She notices the glaze in his eyes though behind it she can see how his mind is working a mile a minute, but it's that gaze that you see in a person that is neither here nor there; rather a million miles away. He begins to chop the produce for the salad and she tilts her head at the expertise of his knife work. Having never taken him for someone that cooks regularly, or let alone be as skilled as he was.

"You're really good with a knife.." She compliments on a breath, though her words intended to be a statement, the underlying subtle inquiry stopped TJ mid-chop.

"Oh? Is that so?" His words felt almost sinister, a darkness to his cool tone sent a shiver down Cyren's spine though she shook it off immediately.

She can't help but look away after some time, confused as to why she was feeling slightly intimidated when there was nothing strange about the situation. He was being kind to her, and wasn't showing any behavior that should make her feel threatened, if anything he was more welcoming than anyone she had ever encountered, and that included her own family. Her eyes wander to the sliding glass doors to the backyard where she allows her mind to lose itself in the green scenery though the more she takes in, the more questions come into her mind. Does he take care of everything around here? The cleaning? The gardening? The décor? Or was there hired staff? Did the roommate, Kaeden, do all of this? Where was his family? This was enough to overwhelm her and the fact that the more and more she learned, the more she wanted to know everything. And yet, she felt that she couldn't ask, that she was trapped within the same breath in her lungs that wouldn't allow her to utter a word. She swallows hard and looks back to TJ to find him leaning against the counter with one hand braced against it, his leg crossed over the other at the ankle and his eyes dead on watching her shadowed by his shaggy black hair. She feels her entire body tense as prey would in that moment of awareness of being stalked by a predator but it's a moment too late. A deer in headlights, a rabbit in the shadow of the hawk, the goat released into the tiger pit at the zoo.

He tilts his chin up to illuminate his shaded eyes and offers a closed lip smile immediately dispelling the menacing visage and nearly erasing the thought in her mind. She inhales sharply not realizing she had been holding her breath and chuckles turning her head down to cover her lips with her slender fingertips. She shakes her head at herself, scolding herself for being so skittish, for being so on edge when she had no reason to be. She was clearly over reacting, clearly reading into something that wasn't there, she needed to relax though her bouts of anxiety weren't anything new, but she didn't want to be like that anymore. And she knew that his presence was something that would help her through it, but she didn't think that it was flare up so much because of him either. It was all in her head, it always was. It's what kept her from venturing into the world, from encountering others, from anything in particular. Safe in her shield of hair, safe in her four walls, safe in the confines of her own mind. He would never hurt her, she could tell by the way he treated her, as if she were a glass figurine that was brittle and thin. At least that's how she perceived it. That's what she told herself, that's what she believed.

TJ drops his chin again to scan over her uneasy body language sat in the tall table chair, she was constantly averting her eyes, constantly searching for something else. He could see the wheels turning, but she wasn't making any absolute resolutions or revelations for that matter. She seemed to be meek and frail in that moment, completely vulnerable. In a way that pissed him off to no end, she had no reason to feel that way, she wasn't unattractive or anything, she was actually quite beautiful. But in one of those rare beauty ways, where it wasn't typical, out of the ordinary, and maybe it was her personality. But he also saw it as pathetic for her to have to think in such a manner that would degrade herself in the light of the societal standards. And that infuriated him more, nothing could anger him quicker than the lack of confidence and the mouse like personality that always made that individual as a victim. Most of the time those people would prefer to be seen as the victim for a pity pass, and that wasn't something he was very good at. With giving pity, you have to have patience, and with both of those you have to elude some form of sympathy, as well as compassion. He didn't possess the ability or the will to even bother with such trivial things, because it would amount to nothing if the receiver of such treatment were unwilling to grow from it. It was like watching vines growing along the restraints of a greenhouse but not willing to pierce through the thin glass that separates them from the life they could achieve outside. The heights in which that they could reach, as if they had no idea that there was so much more on the other side. Whereas he had experienced so much, she reeked of sheltered innocence, whatever it was that she had experienced, it was set within the guidelines of someone's plan that wasn't even her own. Yet, it had left her battered and broken, so much so that she would rather stay in the planetarium that she had built around herself. But that couldn't be true if she had reached out for him to be beside her, there was something there at least, something worth seeing. She couldn't be a total waste of his time, but it wouldn't be the first time he was wrong, that was the trouble with taking a risk, in the end, would it be worth it?

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